Central Snark

Dear Snuppy,

I couldn’t get a post done for you tonight. I ate dinner and then sat down to do it and then remembered I had a meeting at church. After that the lovely Mrs. Diesel and I had to pick the caption finalists.  And now it’s 10:37.

So…  I suck.

You can blame me and everybody can have a laugh at my expense.  How about I do a post for you on Thursday instead?  ~Diesel

*JUST so you kids know, not only did young Diesel NOT do a post for the Snark (waaaaah) he DID do a series of his own extremely funny captions for his own — extremely funny — contest (hahaha). Let’s take a look, so that we may all feel less clever and/or inclined to participate in his crummy contest the next time around:

“And if I press right here, POW! The arms fly out!”

Sadly, Diesel’s dream of a web development partnership ended with an unexpected crash on Wall Street.

“Let me tell you, Spidey sense is no substitute for fashion sense. These tights are so last year!”

“See, you pull back like this and candy comes out of the neck.”

“Goodness, you’re carrying a lot of tension in your upper back.”

“Dammit, no matter how I adjust your head I can’t get the lighting to match my face.”

“Hey Spidey, am I bugging you? Get it, ‘bug’? Hey Spidey, pull my finger.”

And just like that, he was no longer a Spider-Boy. He had become a Spider-Man.

It was only when Diesel looked down that he realized how badly his roleplaying with Mrs. Diesel had gotten out of hand.

“Hey Spidey, remember when you said that from way up here I looked like a tiny little bug and you just wanted to wrap me up in a web and suck my guts out? Where are we going, by the way?”

“Hey, is that hair gel? Oh, ewwwww.”

“Giddyup, Seabiscuit!”

“It gives us the ring, nasty hobbitssssss!”

“Diesel, is that a pumpkin bomb or are you just happy to see me?”

“Look at me, I’m the scary black costume trying to take your soul! Mwuhahahahahahaha!!!”

“Can you believe nobody noticed this is the same outfit Kevin Costner wore in Robin Hood? I’m also doing the accent.”

“This is the best Macy’s parade EVER!”

“Sorry, Spider-Man. I have to take you in. There are no tags on your mattresses.”

“Dude, I’m telling you, turn around. This plasma TV behind us is INCREDIBLE.”

Spider-man’s spider-sense tingled as he sensed the arrival of his most dangerous foe, the Digital Manipulator.

*          *          *          *          *

FOR some strange reason, we’re bettin’ Diesel won’t forget to link his newest post to Humor-Blogs.com. That Diesel…

~Snuppy (who’s not bitter, but will pretend to be so for the rest of the day)