Editor’s note: somewhere in the Blogosphere is an Exact Copy of this post, right down to the stupid title and/or punctuation marks. THIS is what we get for trying to “tweak” a post after it’s been published. If you, or anyone you know, spots the rogue missive, don’t be frightened. Stay calm. IT WON’T HURT YOU. Just let us know and we’ll pick it up, then deposit it back into the queue, where it will be allowed to live out the rest of its days in peace and comfort, alongside all the other rejects.
*** *** ***
A FEW weeks ago we nearly choked on our cornflakes, whilst reading the following headline on CNN.com:
Scott Baio Weds Former Backstreet Boy
WHO-whatey? Scott Baio finally got married, but instead of saying “I do” to his longtime girlfriend, Somun Nohn Bland, Chachi got hitched to a former Backstreet Boy? Does that mean the object of Joanie’s affection* is gay? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, mind you, but still, such a reality would serve to explain Baio’s long-time status as a Single Man** Naturally, we were compelled to click on the link, in hopes of learning a bit more. Needless to say, we were surprised, amused and only a teensie disappointed, then, when we finally discovered that young(ish) Scott Baio (45) — the guy we adored as Bob Loblob on Arrested Development — had indeed wed someone, but, and here’s the No Big Deal Yet Funny Kicker, so had the aforementioned “former” Backstreet Boy. No, the Backstreet Boy hadn’t wed the same someone as Baio — yeesh, keep up, will ya, this is hard enough to explain — FBB*** had simply married someone, as well. Whew. The initial CNN Headline News “headline” problem, it seems, was in the careless way some underpaid overnight writer had worded and/or punctuated the teasing sentence on the website.
OF course, Scott “I’m Not In Charge, Charles” Baio, Former Backstreet Boys and/or Arrested Development**** are all beside the point. The point, which was recently followed by a lovely and well-placed comma, is that poor punctuation can often lead to misunderstandings, which, in turn, lead to hilarity.^ A point (heh) validated by the following graphic^*, which allegedly occurred when comedian BILL MAHER appeared on the Fair and Balanced airwaves of FOX NEWS:
*Please, for the love of sitcoms, tell us you remember the insipid Happy Days spin-off, Joanie Loves Chachi.
**We have NEVER given a hoot and/or rat’s ass about the marital status of Baio, his girlfriend, OR any stupid Former Backstreet Boy
***FBB = Former Backstreet Boy. Duh.
****We share a passion for this show with at least one of our Co-Administrators (a’yup Asparagus Boy, we’re talking ’bout you)
^(after awhile, the use of an asterisk seems redundant, so we’ve opted for an inverted “v”* in hopes it will sufficiently represent the 5th (count e’m five) ridiculous footnote in today’s post) Anyone familiar with Lynne Truss’ bestseller, EATS, SHOOTS, & LEAVES, knows lousy and/or careless punctuation = hilarity.
^*Is this footnote symbol or the above graphic real*? Hell if we know. Doesn’t matter, though, because the symbol kind of looks like a wink, the graphic is a classic, and both suit the purposes of this post. So, uh, you know, shut up.
~snuppy
Everyone who loves, Chachi, loves HUMOR-BLOGS.COM.
* Oh no we di-ent. We did not just put a footnote into our footnote… or did we? Is that even legal? Do we care? We do not. We just wanted to tell you the graphic is fake, something that we managed to find out by peering at the lower left corner of the picture with a large magnifying glass. You — and you know who – are welcome.
18 Comments so far
Leave a comment
Leave a comment
Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
okay, so “technically” this isn’t a Sex, Ed? post, but since it’s somewhat educational AND incorporates the term “sucks Dick”, it almost is… right?
oy. what it is or is not is beside the point. the point — which will be made when i have to pay $300 for my son’s missed physical therapy appointment if i don’t get out of the house rightthisminute — is that, um, i have to go. HAPPILY, the Very Dear and Very Delightful DJ LAMPSHA will be here tomorrow to entertain with another of her fabulous musical finds!
Comment by snuppy Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 10:53amHelp me out here… Even knowing that the Baio headline is the result of a punctuation job gone bad, I STILL can’t figure out what the writer was trying to say. How can you possibly turn that into a headline that makes sense with punctuation?
Of course as usual, I am overanalyzing this to death. Who me? Naw.
Comment by Harmonica Man Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 11:09amBeing single in your 40s can be the result of homosexual tendencies or heterosexual ones. Marriage is exclusively for the half-gay.
Comment by Walela Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 11:12amJeff: believe it or not, i actually tried to save the original headline, but CNN would have none of it. eventually the line changed from:
Scott Baio weds Former Backstreet Boy
to
Baio Marries, Backstreet Boy
to a few others, until some genius came up with:
Scott Baio Gets Married, Backstreet Boy does too.
needless to say, (in my own twisted mind) it was hilarious.
Walela: thinking that helps explain a lot. or… nothing.
Comment by snuppy Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 11:14amYou forgot to mention that Bill Maher is a complete asshat.
Comment by Diesel Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 11:19amI don’t know any of these people and now, thanks to your enlightening post Snuppy, don’t want to know them. That saves me time and energy and so I thank you.
However, even though I’m out of touch, I DID know that George Bush sucks. He could be sucking dick. Whether he’s sucking Dick or not is anyone’s guess. Ok, I’m going now.
Comment by Casper Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 12:02pmDiesel: that goes without saying…
Casper!! i lovelovelove seeing you here! and i’m very pleased to know this post has helped even one unsuspecting soul avoid the trappings of bad TV and/or polidicks. heh.
Comment by snuppy Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 12:09pmI was just about to come here and comment “Isn’t Bill Maher that guy that Diesel is so fond of?”, but I see he beat me over here.
Comment by CrummyJoel Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 12:16pmCrummy(NOT)Joel: yeah, i considered mentioning that in the post, as well, but how much attention should we pay to a guy who hasn’t seen fit to do a post for us in, oh i don’t know… ages??
Comment by snuppy Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 12:27pmand speaking of the aforementioned hater of Bill Maher… any particular reason i can’t open your site, Diesel?? inquiring minds not only want to know, they’re ALSO hoping to participate in this week’s Caption Contest…
Comment by snuppy Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 12:31pmOf course I remember Joanie loves Chachi. I didn’t really watch it, but I remember it!
Well, thank you for that grammatical lesson and I will watch my p’s and q’s and colons (well that would be difficult actually).
Okay, now I’m on the run because why should life be simple and without chaos? Apparently picures of my ovaries went to Julian’s school in his backpack, whereby they were sent to the nurse who (and she gets points for this) knew that it probably wasn’t for Julian’s school medical file. She’s verrry good. Now let me go collect them and visit my own doctor.
Happy Friday to all!
Comment by DJ LAMPSHA Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 12:52pmWow, no one mentioned that an inverted v “^” is called a caret.
Sadly, I remember the shows he was in. Even more sad, I watched them.
Punctuation mistakes are hilarious.
Comment by Nessa Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 1:16pmDamn, now I’ll really have to watch my puntuation when I come over here. The footnotes have made me kind of dizzy and even Joanie loves Chachi is looking okay to me at this point. But as soon as I snap out of it I’m sure I’ll think differently. I still don’t know who Bill Maher is, but I’ve heard Diesel go on about him so I’ll check out that link. I figured out diesel fitter, so I’ll figure out Bill Maher too.
Comment by Theresa Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 3:53pmI love that you referred to 45 as youngish.And I love the graphic, whether or not the situation is reversed
These writers, they’ll leave out commas or do ANYTHING to get you to click on their story–the literary sluts!
Comment by actonbell Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 4:18pmI crushed on Chachi as a middleschooler, so that means he probably was gay, because all my other boyfriends from that era were.
Comment by Deb on the Rocks Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 6:07pmJoanie always looked gayish to me as well (but of course I didn’t really care). That was one of the dumbest shows ever. I don’t like Bill Maher because he’s so damn smug and he’s a know-it-all.
Comment by claire Friday, 11 January 2008 @ 10:02pmDiesel might be a know-it-all smartypants kinda guy but he’s Not smug about it except when he calls me a nerd and a weirdo during the course of a few short weeks. hrumphh!
Ok, this just went all over my head…Only thing I know about Joanie and Chachie (what kinda name is that anyway) is that they are mentioned in the first series of FRIENDS.
FBB…they are still singing and jumping around on MTV!
Comment by Penguin Saturday, 12 January 2008 @ 2:20amLampsha: yeah, if not for all the “chaos”, my life would be simple, too. oy. glad Julian’s teacher is so sharp — tho’ i’m thinking Friday’s Show-and-Tell could have been darn educational.
Nessa: heh. a “caret” by any other name is my version of an inverted Roman Numeral V
Theresa: Bill Maher is a bit of an “acquired” taste. one many folks (Diesel) have yet to succumb to.
Actonbell: haven’t you heard? 45 is the new 29. laughing at the concept of “literary sluts”, because, of course, that’s exactly what they are!
Deb: Chachi did seem pretty “happy” back in the day. (pause for a moment to crack up and/or groan at that stupid attempt to be punny) as for those Unfortunate Boyfriends? heh… been there/retained my virginity because of that.*
Claire: i thought Joanie seemed like a girl who knew her way around a golf course/bowling alley, too. not that there’s anything wrong with that. as for Maher? i actually liked him pre-smuggery, but you’re right, he’s pretty full of himself these days, and as such, not my cup of tea, either.
Penguin: trust me, you’ve missed nothing. Joanie Loves Chachi was a spin-off from Happy Days, but never realized the same level of charm and/or hilarity. (Chachi was, apparently, Fonzie’s cousin, and a bit of a rabble-rouser when he first showed up). thank goodness for MTV, otherwise we’d never see the FBB’s and/or Vanilla Ice’s of the music world, eh?
*heh, this comment needed at least one footnote to “complement” the overly footnoted post. that said, my boyfriend was NOT gay — which meant my virginity did not survive high school. sigh. (don’t tell my kids. as far as they’re concerned, they were both the product of immaculate conception)
Comment by snuppy Sunday, 13 January 2008 @ 10:01am