Central Snark

Snark Away! Snark Away! by Snuppy
Thursday, 15 June 2006, 6:49am
Filed under: funny...

ONE of our favorite films is “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” (well, one of us thinks it’s pretty dang hysterical). A parody of “Excaliber” (as well as any and all movies with “knightish” themes), “Holy Grail” is the story of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table as they set out on their quest for the ultimate prize, i.e. the Holy Grail. To find the grail, it is believed, is to be rewarded with absolution for all sins. ‘Tis a perilous journey, not for the faint of heart. However, unlike their counterparts, the king and his knights are frequently faint of heart, and are, therefore, often compelled to “Run Away! Run Away!” when danger rears its ugly head. It’s a miracle unto itself these guys make it as far as they do. In spite of their cowardly inclinations, in the end, they finally reach the outside of a castle, where, it is believed, the coveted prize is secreted. But, just before entering, someone stumbles on a rock, upon which an ominous note has been “scribbled”:

King Arthur: [about the inscription on the rock] What does it say, Brother Maynard?
Brother Maynard: It reads, “Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathia. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Castle of Aaauuuggghhh…”
King Arthur: What?
Brother Maynard: “The Castle of Aaaauuuggghhhh”
Sir Bedevere: What is that?
Brother Maynard: He must have died while carving it.
King Arthur: Oh come on!
Brother Maynard: Well, that’s what it says.
King Arthur: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn’t have bothered to carve ‘Aaaauuuggghhhh’. He’d just say it.
Sir Galahad: Maybe he was dictating it.
King Arthur: Oh shut up!
Sir Robin: Well does it say anything else?
Brother Maynard: No, just “Aaaaauuuugggghhh”.
[knights making groaning sounds]
Sir Bedevere: Do you think he could have mean, ‘Camaaaauuuuggghhhh’?
Sir Galahad: Where’s that?
Sir Bedevere: France, I think.
Sir Lancelot: Isn’t there a Saint “Aaaaavvvveeeesss” in Cornwall?
King Arthur: No that’s Saint “Ives”.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, yes. “Iiiiiivvvveeessss”!
[All knights saying, “Iiiiiivvvveeessss”]
Sir Bedevere: Whooooouuuuaaa!
Sir Lancelot: No no no, it’s “Aaaaauuuugggghhhh” from the back of the throat.
Sir Bedevere: No I mean, “Whoooouuuuaaa!” as in surprise and alarm.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, you mean like, “AAAHH!”

“Aaaaaahhhhh!” Isn’t that what Blogger causes you to scream, on any given day? (come on…you knew we were going somewhere with this, didn’t you?) And, if not “aaaaahhhhh”, then perhaps “arrrrgggghhhh”, “aiiieeeeee”, “craaaaaaap”, “phooooeeeeeeey”, or “shit”. (Oh sure there are other yippy variations we could provide, but do we really need to? You want more? Come up with ’em on your own time.). Well, scream not kids, but do “Run Away!”… and run as fast as your blogging fingers can carry you! You’re safe here. In this place, you are free to relieve yourselves of all that snarky tension an/or anxiety. (and by “relieve” we mean “express yourselves”… use the bathroom for everything else.)

That’s it. Snark Away! to your heart’s content. Absolution is but a comment away!



38 Comments so far
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I haven’t the foggiest idea. This a work computer and this is the only site, well Fark is the same way, even if I put text size on smallest, it it still one inch high letters on the screen. My blog is so small text that I can’t read it!

I think the knights of nee have arrived with shubbery.

Comment by I've gone to the dogs

Hi Sopie, I’m dashing off but will be back later.

Dear Bunny-sounds like you have snark material galore. The font size on this blog is actually fairly small, like an 8 or 10 if you were working in Word.

Back later peeps!

Comment by Casper

Gone to the dogs: i think it’s the Knights of Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z’nourrwringmm. (but i could be wrong!)

this does look small… maybe we can adjust the font size… but not now, i gotta scram, sam! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Comment by sophie

That’s one of my favourite films ever. The first time i saw it, i spent three days walking around as if i was galloping, making clip-clop noises as i walked. Heh.

And a correction. It’s initially the Knights *Who Say* Ni (not *from* Ni), and then it becomes the Knights of Ekki-ekki-ekki-p’tang. And they want you to bring a shrubbery.

I’m not being snarky, i’m just sayin’

Comment by Minx

So how many minutes more do you think it will be before WordPress is snarfed up by Google? We can’t have this competition thing going! It’s un-American! Hey, waitasec …

Comment by I'm_being_repressed

Minxie-you are the Monty Python Queen!! ๐Ÿ™‚ I remember walking around making the clip clop noises too. A friend and I got a coconut once and reproduced the horse sound effects perfectly

I’m being repressed-Hi O’C, you can’t hide behind your repression, come out and play. So what handle would you like for the sidebar?
How about you Minx?

Comment by Casper

Ok, this is Brian aka hummingbunny, know as “I’ve gone to the dogs” here. I fixed the text size issue by switching to firefox as my browser. I also read Doug’s plea today and this is my comment.

A hermit by any other name,
called a dawg still the same,
trolling the entire page,
looking for the furry sage,
his advice has been shuffled,
and the fur has been ruffled,
seeking truth and lofty advice,
can sometimes pay a heavy price,
so henceforth stay on topic,
or results will be catastrophic.

I do not know how much I can romp here, I am still kinda shaky in the bantering dept., so don’t take it personally.

Comment by I've gone to the dogs

God…I love this movie. Favorite scene…when the monks are chanting at the beginning and then they whack themselves with a board. And when they’re shuffling all the dead off and there’s that one guy “But I’m not dead yet!”

I have the sense of humor of a teenager because I’m giggling now just remembering. And the best way to watch this…drunk on champagne. Wait no that was Brigadoon. Yeah…Brigadoon when you’ve gone through a bottle of champagne with your best bud is a blast. Course then you have to crawl up the stairs and pretend your sober in front of your dad when, as you were coming up the stairs you and said best friend were going “Brigadooooooooon!” Yeah. He never figured it out.

I’m finding that I have a strange relationship with Blogger. I both love it and hate it. It giveth and then it taketh away.


ps – like this template with the little butterfly. Adds a touch of irony to the whole snark thing. ๐Ÿ˜‰ And I have the sudden urge to prowl through those woods and howl…maybe call for Brigadoon…either or.

Comment by Little Blue Pill

I’ve gone to the dogs-don’t you fret! this is stress free park-leave your anxiety at the door and just join your friends for play time. You do just fine in the bantering department as far as I can tell!

Little Blue Pill-sounds like we have a whole lot of MP fans here.
Glad you like the template. We’ll leave it alone for awhile and let it ‘settle’ ๐Ÿ™‚

p.s. Brian-I’m going to change your link on the blogroll to ‘gone to the dogs’ ok?

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Casper – pony? I’m more familiar with friendly flying sheets.

that her face, at first just ghostly,
turned a whiter shade of pale

As for the sidebar … what else? The Amoeba.


Comment by I'm_being_repressed aka The Amoeba

I must go back and watch as I think I’m also mixing up snippets of Life of Brian. Another thing on my to-procrastinate on list. Great. Well I just love Monty Python and often their skits go through my head in everyday life. For instance, when I get off the elevator in the am and say to myself “Pets Department, Second Floor”. Makes me laugh to myself every time!

Comment by Lady of the Lampshade

Hi G! nice to see you. I was just over at your place (kyahgirl)

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Casper has requested to have the sidebar changed after one of mommy’s brothers explained the dirty, dirty connotations of the term ‘my pony’

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Do tell…..

Comment by Lady of the Lampshade

Well *whispering*
Apparently, in some circle, ‘the pony’ is the sexual object that anyone can take for a ride. Don’t ask me how he knew this, I have no idea and don’t want to know.

Ew. Not Casper’s cup of tea, nor kyahgirls for that matter.

Comment by One Hot Puppy

i guess its hard to ‘whisper’ when you have the bright orange header on your name! ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment by kyahgirl

โ€˜the ponyโ€™ is the sexual object that anyone can take for a ride.

Man oh man, that sure gives My Little Pony a savage little twist, now doesn’t it? I knew there was a reason we didn’t encourage such things when our daughters were small …

Comment by The Amoeba

Didn’t they keep a pony or two in the castle anthrax?

Just wondering

Comment by The Village Idiot

hi Amoeba ๐Ÿ™‚ I know. I consider myself fairly well read but am still surprised by ‘the dark side’ sometimes

Village Idiot-welcome to Snarkville. I’m not sure about the ponies in Castle Anthrax.
What name would you like for the side bar? (The village idiot is a pretty good handle where ever you go though) ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment by kyahgirl

Oh by the way, “I’m being repressed” is (of course) a line from the MP Holy Grail, which was presented at a talent show in the major metropolis of Bath, Maine about a year ago. Complete with people running around clapping coconuts together. I played in the rough gaggle of instrumentalists that had the gall to call themselves a “pit orchestra”. No reference to the current purging of Waking Ambrose was intended.

Just in case anybody out there’s as paranoid as I am.


Comment by The Amoeba

You mean you’ve never heard of ponygirls?

BTW One hot puppy, we just crossed paths again at Lady Lampshade. I think the book is a great idea! We can call the phenomenon of blogging delete, “The Soapbox Splinters”, cause when you fall, it’s a pain in the ass.

Comment by I've gone to the dogs

Thanks Amoeba-great explanation. Sounds like that would have been fun.

gone to the dogs-you're the creative one….I got nothing.
And you have heard of the pony phenomenon? See, I need to get out more. Or maybe not ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment by kyahgirl

I am just a wittle wabbit, but I sees things.

Comment by I've gone to the dogs

Who me?

That Procol Harum album cover is pictured vividly in my head. Love it. What the duces is going on – dogs running wild, ponies, well ponies going for “rides”. I’ll be back in a while, I am going to round up my kid’s “pretty ponies”. No wonder they’re all purtied up!

Comment by Lady of the Lampshade

Ummm kyahgirl…I believe the color is Orange Spice.

Comment by BoBo

and yes…one hot puppy…I would like to keep the handle or moniker or nome de plume or labelor nickname or name…

The Village Idiot

Comment by The Village Idiot

i knew this was a Monty Python kind of crowd! ๐Ÿ™‚

sorry to get here so late. what can i say? i had errands to do. posts to write. kids to yell at. toes to have painted.

amoeba: you’re annoyed, i’m annoyed, together we’re a paranoid.

i’ll stop. go vist other blogs. come back when i have something constructive and/or hilarious to say (don’t hold your collective breaths)…

Comment by sophie

amoebame amoebayou,
daโ€™ penguin and a dawg or two,
a rhyming bunny,
a trollopy hunny,
a central snark,
your inner bark!

Comment by Gone to the Dogs ate my Bunny

sophie – We two make a paranoid? Does BoBo know about this?!? Scuffing the grass onto us with his hind paws …? [sweating profusely]

GDB aka Brian – ha ha. You try getting of on a false foot in the morning. Every morning …

Didn’t I see a curmudgeonly Doug floating about somewhere on here?

Comment by The Amoeba

Ameoba: no need to sweat… Bobo is nothing, if not secure in this relationship… and rightfully so! by the way… you’re a fan of LOTR, ever read Bored of the Rings? my favorite line from that book was the inspiration for the “host” name… (“hot puppies! grub!”) ๐Ÿ™‚

GDB: you inspired me to try my hand at poetry… tho’ my prose can’t hold a candle to yours! you look so relaxed… just sit tight, i left it on the ‘other’ post…i’ll go get it, and paste it, here! ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment by sophie

A Snark Park Poem

by Sophietoes.

come to the park,
before itโ€™s dark,
thereโ€™s lots to snark about.

like rhyming bunnies,
โ€˜n trollopy honeys,
a dawg in the pond that pouts.

they come to play,
they will not stay,
for now they frolic and shout.

the sun goes down,
whatโ€™s that? a frown?
no frowns allowed, get out!

to laugh, to joke,
with other folk,
*perhaps* weโ€™ll see a routโ€ฆ

but never fear,
your friends are here,
of that, there is no doubt.

~the end~

Comment by sophie

Sophie, I love your prose, more please

a rout in the park,
sounds like a lark,
look a hermit crab!

the soft green grass,
a sexy lass,
oops did I blab,

woof, woof she speaks,
shyly I peak,
soft fur to grab.

can I buy you a drink,
no pockets I think,
donโ€™t worry I have a tab.

Comment by Gone to the Dogs ate my Bunny

As You Wish…

A Response
by Sophietoes

well, not to scare,
but over there,
my husband has appeared.

a lad so sweet,
tho’ mighty fleet,
when jealous thoughts do rear

their ugly head.
his face turns red,
intentions seem quite clear

a drink will do,
but please, buy two
and you’ll have naught to fear!

~the end~
(or is it?)

Comment by sophie

my bunny is gone,
shadows grow long,
soon home to my wife.

drink will have to wait,
but tomorrow a date,
ah romping is the life.

hopping is fun,
dogs make me run,
this park has no strife.

Comment by Gone to the Dogs ate my Bunny

BoBo-I stand corrected. Orange Spice ๐Ÿ™‚

wanna play fetch?

Comment by kyahgirl

I don’t know if I can cope with all this ad-verse-ity ๐Ÿ™‚

Bored of the Rings, sophie?!? Would you believe, that, in my misspent youth, I read that first? (Things haven’t gotten much better). It’s been years since I’ve seen a copy. Guess I’d better …

Comment by The Amoeba

Amoeba: re: bored vs lord, why am i not surprised? oh… and good for you! (i read ‘lord’ 3 times before ‘bored’… lovelovelove ’em both!

okay, then… final poetic offering to the dear departed (but only in the “he’s gone home” sense) GDB:

So Long, Farewell…
by Sophietoes

the day is done,
go home, have fun!
i’m sorry ’bout your bunny.

no strife? ’tis true!
and, thanks to you,
there’s also lots of funny!

now wave bye-bye,
and do not cry,
especially on your honey

come back and play,
another day,
but *next* time bring your money!
(let’s hope it’s nice and sunny?)
(i hope your poops aren’t runny?)
(whatever…i’m just lookin’ for a rhyme here)

~the end(ish)~

Comment by sophie

ok sophie-go lie down

(just kidding)

we done good today partner

Comment by Casper

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