Central Snark


Look What We Found in the Suggestion Box! by Snuppy
Sunday, 25 June 2006, 7:27pm
Filed under: friends

YIPPEE!! Our *first* bonafide suggestion! I’m putting it up now… so we’ll all have plenty of time to put thought into this excellent idea. Many thanks to LOGO™ & ARIELLA for writing:

“How about a getting to know each other type post?
Maybe everyone could relate a story from their past? Surely everyone has a funny, touching, or otherwise memorable moment from their past (yeah yeah, I know, don’t call you Shirley), can we hear about them?” ~

Okay, Snarklings… who wants to go FIRST??

~ snuppy (not Shirley)

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49 Comments so far
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I received the job I’ve held for 6 years through nepotism.

Comment by Doug

I was on the Gong Show.  And, no, I did not get gonged. (no nepotism involved in getting on the show and/or not getting gonged.)

Comment by snuppytoes

umm,
My first published photographs were of nude men. I was seventeen.

Comment by cooper

I grew up in a small-ish blue collar town in NJ; my first job was a paper route at 12; i employeed my younger sister and two friends to work it with me from time to time; i mainly wanted to use the money to buy some styling threads as being the 7th child with a few behind, I needed to take matters into my own hands to acquire the lime green and pink bells that were all the rage in 1972. I am still best friends with one of the girls from the block (we didn’t say street) that I grew up on to this day and still in touch with the core group.

I try not to coddle my own children as a result, but it is often quite difficult.

Next.

Comment by lady of the lampshade

I have a photo of myself sitting next to Bob Dole and he has his arm around me and is touching my butt. I am only four in the picture, but the first thing that anyone who sees it says is, “hey, Bob Dole is touching your butt”.

Comment by Square-ish Girl

I am constantly amazed I survived my childhood. Mostly I’m amazed my parents didn’t kill me.

My best friend T & I taught my brother to ride a big. I had this itty bitty pink bike that I loved and adored. No training wheels for me. As it turns out…none for my brother. We put his three year old being on the bike, aimed it down the hill, pushed him and yelled “PEDDLE!” as he zoomed down the hill, towards the curve and a huge hedge. He didn’t make it that far. T’s dad, the Major, stepped out, grabbed the bike by the handlebars and looked to see what had sent my brother careening down the hill. We poofed away. To this day my brother has not thanked me for teaching him to ride a bike long before any of his friends.

I’ll save teaching him how to rollerskate for another time. Foreshadowing: it involved the pedestrian overpass.

Comment by Little Blue Pill

Well, I audioblogged about the fact I threw up the first time Mr. Logo confessed his love for me, so I will share some thing else…mmmmm

Ah, I know.
I am a redhead, as I child I considered this an affliction and a symbol of the low esteem the universe held for me. The available role models, Anne of Green Gables,Pippi Longstockings, and Annie didn’t help much as these stories seemed to indicate that being orphaned was the only way to get ahead in life as a red head.
When I got a older I worked for Wendy’s and was frequently assigned the role of their mascot for birthday parties, parades, and various promotions. This did NOT help my complex. I have since come to the realization that there are people, men and women alike who actually LIKE red hair, this came as a revelation to me just in time for me to start turning gray, which we red heads do early.
Many thanks to Tom Robbins for his affection for red headed women, and his eloquence in voicing it.

Comment by Logo™ and Ariella

I remember the first time I consciously felt guilt. My grandmother had told us (me, my brother and our cousin) not to go into the woods by her house so because of that, we did… at my suggestion (order really). My brother got hurt and came back bleeding. I felt bad for him as well as pissed about the little f****r getting hurt and getting us caught and me in trouble!!!!

I also loved, LOVED, climbing trees and always climbed one in my grandma’s frontyard. She warned me that if anything happened to the tree (forget me!) I could never climb it again. A day later, I broke the tree’s biggest branch. No adult in sight, I dragged it to the neighbor’s yard, who was away on vacation, and dumped it in there and made a run for it. I was probably 8. I told my grandma about it this year.

I am 31.

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Until I was 20 years old my dream was to play professional baseball. Undrafted out of high school I “conned” my way into tryouts with the Oakland A’s and Cleveland Indians…came fairly close with the Indians, but alas it was not to be. I “convienently” tore up my knee playing softball shortly thereafter so I was able to point to the bum knee as the dreambuster. Truth be told…even had I been signed I realize now it most likely would have been a short-lived career…just wasn’t star material…but don’t cry for me Argentina…it all worked out for the absolute best!

Comment by BoBo

Oooh! I did not know that about you Bobo! Fascinating for sure.

I wish I hadn’t repeatedly been told I was “too weak” for it all… had I had more confidence and backing, my secret desire was to be involved in gymnastics. I am a good yogi but man the things I would have been capable of now! *sigh*

Had we stayed on in San Francisco, I harbored a secret dream of joining the local and renowned circus school we have in town once my kids were older. I am still hanging on to that dream! Fo’ sho’!

Anything to do with the body and developing its abilities to the fullest as well as keeping it in the best shape possible is the biggest high for me. Those shows where they send lazy people to “boot camp” exercise places? That would be a dream vacation for me!!! I am not the be-lazy-lie-by-the-pool-resort-type of chic. Ugh! Shoot me!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

PS~ Just ask Loverboy… the poor man took me to Maui in the beginning of our relationship expecting a peaceful and relaxing vacation… instead he got early am wake up calls for hiking (through a bamboo forest nonetheless and all the way up to a waterfall), much exploring, driving, a 4am wake up call to go to Mount Haleakala to watch the sunrise at which point we rode bikes down the volcano (a cow tried to attack me), snorkeling… you name it!

We needed a week off from the vacation it was so physical but it remains, to this day, the best time off of my life! Ass kicking, hardcore physical fun! K-KISH BABY!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

CYM – Climbed Mount Haleakala as a kid…well…drove up most of it but climbed enough to be left breathless. Incredible view! Remember being kinda freaked out by the legend of Madam Pele (Hawaiian volcano god) who was said to hang out and appear from time to time at the island’s active lava makers.

Comment by BoBo

Isn’t it beautiful? I loved watching the peaks of the other volcanos from the neighboring islands! It truly is a magical place! Glad you know it! I ran into Chris Cornell and his wife at a hippy, veggie co-op supermarket we used to shop at and we caught a Pearl Jam concert to boot!

More little fun tidbits…

Hey! How come no one else is playing? Bobo, I think we are the star commenters so far! 😉

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Hello, star commenters. Can I join? 😉

Comment by Ride'Em Cowgirl

YAY! YEEHAW ONWARDS AND RIDE ‘EM COWGIRL!!!!

I can’t wait to hear of your wild adventures! Ok… I am ready! GO! 😉

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

CYM: I wanted to be an olympic gymnast. Those dreams were dashed early on because I have, like, zero upper arm strength. Oh sure I was bendy as all get out but that didn’t help me on the uneven bars (and I was secretly very concerned about the vault because, well, I’m me…those old box vaults hurt when you slam into them…just sos ya know). My coach thought I had “great potential” at 5 (cuz I was so bendy and all) and told my mom “If we give her some steroids that could help.” YIKES!! Mom went “Are you insane? She’s 5!! Of course she doesn’t have upper arm strength!!” So if not for my mom I’d still look like I was 10 (I’d say 12 but that’s so cliche plus I was gettin’ curvy by then). Hurrah for mommies.

Then there was brief consideration for competitive rhythmic gymnastics until…the Indian Clubs. Ack! Can you give yourself a black eye with those things!! How come I was the only one in my RG club who got a shiner from those stupid clubs? Well, I was spinning my club quite beautifully, when I was distracted by something. The end ball slipped out from between my fingers and kablam! I am laid out on the floor, staring up at the rafters while the escaped club made a wide circle beside my head. Sigh. Again…amazed I survived my youth.

jenna

Comment by Little Blue Pill

Lady – paper routes were a total bitch! Talk about child slavery…I’ll never forget struggling to pedal down a dark sidewalk with those huge Sunday papers in canvas saddlebags on the rear of a big clunky bike. God forbid you lose forward momentum or you’d find yourself sprawled on the ground, bike and papers on top of you…getting started again was nearly impossible. And then there were the assholes who refused to pay…sticking kids like me with the bill for their papers…that was the deal…you don’t collect you pay…oy vey how did the papers get away with that sooo long? Good times indeed.

Comment by BoBo

…and a hush fell over the park…everybody napping?

Comment by BoBo

Bobo – the canvas bags and getting the balance right – not so easy for a 12/13 year old. I was nothing if not determined to earn my own dinero. How about the non-payment!?! I remember after 2 weeks of non payment – I left a scorching note across the headline threatening termination, I believe I dropped them shortly thereafter. Then, there was a slightly quetionable neighborhood that I passed through on the route “up the hill” a bit unseemly. I remeber some questionable character asking me for home delivery and I said that my route was full, I wasn’t accepting new customers. Thinking on my feet early on.

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

My wild adventures are many.

I think my favorite childhood memory involves playing cowboys and indians in the cornfield on our ponies. My brother and step sister were the cowboys, and I was always the indian. I was the only one that could stay on bareback, so I was ALWAYS the indian. Not that I minded, taught me to stay on anything.

This was even more entertaining because we used water guns or rubber band guns to shoot at each other with. One day, my step sister drenched me with her water gun, so I shot her pony in the butt with my rubber band gun…and that pony bucked her off right into a huge mud puddle.

Karma.

Comment by Ride'Em Cowgirl

Of course, the cheap tippers…there was one lady who counted out the change ever so deliberately into my palm, and then topped it off with “and a nickel for you”. That phrase rings in my head to this very day. Now, I have truly dated myself.

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

That sounds like fun Cowgal. It certainly trumps our very politically incorrect game of playing “war” when some of the core group I mentioned above who are of German decent had their cousins over for a visit. And the boys, although born here, wore liederhosen. Well that wasn’t good for their mingling in easily. So, I believe, the boys of the hood started the “war games” US v Germany. Ahh bad. But when Charles and Nails (as we called him) had the girls alone, they would come by with my friend’s wagon and say, “Okay, into the portable pokey” which made us laugh to no end and we would be carted off to prison. Hey, it was the late 60’s – we were young. As I look at it, it is wrong on so many levels, but without adults rarely meddling in with our play, we were left to our own devices.

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

I just can’t let mistypes slide by – in my reread I caught: decent is of course, descent and I meant “…but with (not without) adults rarely…

Ahh, you know what I meant – I’m beginning to not feel well, slowly sliding downhill…

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

The games we played were a bit, well, odd. My cousin and I used to love playing “witch and captive” where one of us was the witch and the other one her victim and the witch got to tie up and play torture the victim.

One time I played nurse, but none of the naughty stuff for me, and I gave my stepbrother a concoction of powdered milk, water, salt, pepper and sugar to drink. He got pretty sick. He was lucky he didn’t get the usual one of mashed flowers and different drinks.

A girlfriend of mine and i used to take off for long walks away from the house (my mom never knew… don’t ask me how! We were like 7 and missing from the house!) and I almost was kidnapped once but my 6th sense saved me. We also had many adventures with horses we met, got surrounded by a shepherd’s 300 sheep (awesome), brought home stray cats and ducks, and she claims I once got angry with her and told some gypsy guys to beat her up, then felt bad and joined in on beating the guys up but I don’t remember that.

What was my point with all this? Hmmmm?

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Oh, separte note, Sar has reminded that today is the last day of the caption contest and we finalists should shamlessly shill for votes. So come on people, even if you don’t think mine is the best, just vote for me. As she looks around for other finalists, it is the funniest…When the winner is announced, the lattes (green tea/doggie treats, catnip – whatever) will be flowing!

Go on over now 🙂

http://www.belleofthebrawl.blogspot.com/

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

Paper route in the afternoon after school, Sunday morning. Snow, sleet etc you know the drill. It was a cash route, had fun collecting from the frat house.

YLL- I’m thinking you have an insurmountable lead.

Comment by Gone to the Dogs ate my Bunny

Well, it’s official – we all have one very important thing in common! We are all lucky to be here and alive today based on some of the above 🙂

GTD: Yeah, I see your M-O, get her to relax with false hopes before you go in for the kill! Well, it won’t work. I am afraid to direct more people to the contest fore as I do they apparently vote for someone else!

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

Humm a get to know you kind of post. Well…. the nuts and bolts of it is that I am the autobon approaching the age milestone of 30. I live with my husband Erick and our three daughters and two cocker spaniels. I grew up in the “”Lake Woebagone”” area that Garrison Keillor talks about. (Figuratively and Geographically) Life really is like how he describes it…. The women are tall, the men are good looking, and all the children are above average. 🙂 When I was 17 I was a student ambassador to Russia. I lived a year over seas. During that year I enjoyed tormenting Russian boys. My biggest fear about going over seas was that my cat Milton wouldn’t get fed during the day. I worried about that 20lb tub-oh-love. I put picture clues all over the house that had pictures of Milty and a note on the front that said “Remember to feed me today?” and “I’m soooo hungry.” When I came home from Russia I was so excited to see my whole family – I missed them so much. But I was completely shocked to see my cat at 28lbs. My older brother said “See I fed him.” I knew I was loved. 🙂

Comment by cj / romance enhancer

You people are all very interesting. I can’t think of anything amazing.

something awkward then?
I’m left handed but when playing baseball I bat right. However, I still throw left. Unfortunately, I still ‘throw like a girl’ so it probably doesn’t matter which arm I use.

Comment by kyahgirl

*LOL* I think you throw like a girl because you ARE A girl. Last I checked girls can throw some pretty mean balls. I like to watch my 13 year old neices play fast pitch I am constantly amazed at how well they can throw that ball! (Even if they are girls.)

Comment by cj / romance enhancer

thanks cj, I wish I could throw well overhand but it just doesn’t happen. I’m a wicked batter though, comes of all those years playing squash and field hockey.

I just read the post properly and ariella/logo had requested a story, funny touching or whatever .

I’ll just tell you a little story about my Dad since I’ve been thinking about him recently.
I associate a few things with my Dad; huckleberry picking is one and being rudely awoken is another.
I grew up in a small town in southern B.C. We were down in the valley on the edge of town, with forest and a creek on two sides. Often when my Dad came home from night shift he would scoop me up out of bed to show me a deer or a bear wandering around the back yard. Sometimes he’s drag his unwilling children out for some really early berry picking. Or, any other time of the year he’d decide that 5:30 am was a damn fine time to sharpen his axes on the grinder. He had that farm boy philosophy…I’m up so everybody else should be up.
Anyway, about 10 years ago I went back to Rossland to visit my folks and Dad and I went for drive way back in the mountains where we used to hike years before. There was a trail back there called “The Whiskey Trail”, so named because during prohibition in the States, people would bootleg liquor across the border down that trail. We were 9 miles by road from the U.S. border but only a couple of miles through the bush!

On this particular outing, we came across what looked like prime huckleberry property. Dad stopped, jumped out and grabbed a couple of buckets out of the back. He was always happiest when out picking berries. I can’t pick any kind of berry without hearing his voice in my head, repeating the optimum technique. We picked berries for awhile, but, as I am inclined to do, I ended up just daydreaming while Dad picked. I was not really doing much but enjoying the scenery when I happened to notice he was kneeling in a clump of bushes with the dappled sunlight falling on him and it made a beautiful picture. I took a couple of shots. When I got them developed there was one that was excellent in composition, lighting and subject (not bragging here, its actually a miracle because I’m not great at photography). Anyway, I had it blown up and sent a framed copy to each of my siblings for Christmas that year. The all loved it and figured the same as I did, that it captured the old man very well indeed.

I couldn’t be there for his funeral 6 years ago but my family used that picture in both his obituary and the prayer leaflet for his mass. (BTW, this is a fond memory, not sad, so dont’ read it that way).
That part of B.C. is incredibly beautiful and I’m so glad that I grew up there and that I had the opportunity to learn to appreciate it.

Comment by kyahgirl

Kyahgirl – you are a true baseball rarity…very few lefty throwers who bat righthanded. In fact, in the major leagues I can only think of one – Cody Ross – for all of you out there who care…or not.

Comment by BoBo

Kyahgirl…beautiful story, by the way…posted the baseball comment as you were posting the story.

Comment by BoBo

kyahgirl… that was lovely.

Comment by snuppytoes

Thanks for sharing KG.

Comment by Gone to the Dogs ate my Bunny

Through my Jr high and high school years, I played all sorts of sports – softball, basketball, track, volleyball, and cheerleading (YES cheering is a sport! If you don’t think it is, then please do flip flops all the way down the gym floor).

Kyahgirl’s comment about being a lefty but batting right trumps me being able to spike a volleyball right or left handed.

The volleyball coaches always loved me, because I would hit wherever the block wasn’t.

I almost took a volleyball scholarship…but was afraid my bad knee wouldn’t hold out.

Comment by Ride'Em Cowgirl

thanks Bobo, snuppytoes and GDB! 🙂
oh and its good to know about the baseball rarity thing Joel 🙂 can it make me any money? no? dang.

hiya cowgirl-you’re quite the athlete!

Comment by kyahgirl

I want to kill Loverboy.

I love watching quality shows. I don’t just watch the show and move on. I study it. Having a theatre arts background, I study the line delivery, the choices the actors make. Having a writing background, I study the script, the wording of the lines, the overall plot, how the episodes link together and how the character’s are chosen to be developed over time. After watching a show I love I am high off the amazing art I was honored to witness and I long to be a part of it.

Though I know many find Huff to be depressing, I love, LOVE, passionately LOVE THAT SHOW! Today I watched the last episode and MY GOD what a thing of beauty it was on all fronts. Absolutely amazing!

When it was over, with tears in my eyes, I asked Loverboy if this was the season’s last episode and when it was scheduled to come back.

He asked me to hurry up and open up a word document and be ready. WTF? Then he told me that Huff was cancelled. CANCELLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am too numb to write about it for my blog right now. If I do it’ll be to cuss the man out!! Who does that? I need my time to mourn!!!!!

&(^*&%E%(*^#)*^@#)&(@&(^*)^@(&(#^*(%#@)(*^#@(^$*)(&$R^%%$&%@^$((&)@#&)(&#@(*^@$(*&@$(^*&@^$(&$@)(*&@$*&%*($@(&@$)(&@$(*^@$*&%^$_(@&)_(@&$*&@^$)(&@*$)(*@$)&……

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMMIT!

I have a rich fantasy life and I was scheduled to appear opposite Hank Azaria in a powerful, emotional and raw scene! I am good at those! Now my dream is shattered, it has been stepped on! MURDERED!

I am going to kill Loverboy and boy is Showtime going to hear from me!!!! (NBC got hate mail from me when they cancelled Watching Ellie starring Julia Louis-Dreyfuss.

DAMMIT! I cried. I am seriously not handling this cancelation well!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Cowgirl: thank god cheerleading was NOT a sport when i was one… the most difficult things we had to do when i was in high school were split jumps. although, now that i think of it, another girl stood on my shoulders for part of a routine, so that’s something, right? and, believe it or not, i only dropped her once. at a football game. against our biggest rivals. and only after one of their players knocked us down on purpose. so much for sportsmanship. sigh.

even tho’ we were nothing like cheerleaders are these days, we didn’t suck. in fact, we were state champs both years i was on the squad! rah.

Comment by snuppytoes

CYM: we were posting at the same time. HUFF is cancelled? i didn’t know that. yeesh. Showtime’s already on my shit list for cancelling Dead Like Me… one of the ALL TIME BEST SHOWS EVER!! so it’s no surpirse Huff is out, too. we haven’t seen the last episode (tivo’d… maybe we’ll watch tonite) i hope it’s a bit more upbeat than the past few episodes… cuz it had turned mighty dark of late.

still… i know how you grieve… and i’m sorry! DAMN YOU SHOWTIME!!!

Comment by snuppytoes

CYM: go check out Yogabeans (scroll way down to get to it)… maybe that will make ya smile. Action figures doing Ashtanga Yoga. I’m thinking it’s right up your alley! and, tho’ i’m sure she’s not as good as you, the classes are “taught” by the very “bendable” Elastigirl, which is, you know, silly! 🙂

Comment by snuppytoes

Sorry CYM…sad, but true…

Showtime has officially pulled the plug on the Emmy-winning Hank Azaria vehicle after two seasons, citing low ratings.

Network boss Robert Greenblatt said the move was tough–especially with the quirky dramedy about a psychiatrist (Azaria) going through a midlife crisis growing into a big critical sucess, garnering a Showtime-record seven Emmy nominations last year–but necessary.

Comment by BoBo

Bobo, I am yelling even louder now! Those damn network execs are asses who can’t see something good if it bit them on the nose! Damn bastards! People need to take risks and go with their gut and know how to succesfully market things in the right way!

If I had those 10 mill I would so get my own network and show the rest of the damn world a thing or two!!!!

GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know?

*sigh*

Thank you Joel and Neva for understanding!

Neva, the show is still dark… quite dark actually and shocking. But look at it from an observational point of view… the lines that with their simplicity say so much, the delivery only these actors could do in the way they chose to do it and it is truly a thing of art, brilliance and a masterpiece in motion.

DAMN YOU SHOWTIME!

I really am having a hard time talking to this Loverboy man who is laughin away at my mourning!

Ugh! If I don’t shut up I will keep ranting away so off I go to bed since it is late here and I may just break our TV and that would so end our marriage because it is a plasma… ie, Loverboy’s baby!

So, biting my tongue, I bid you dear friends, Buena Noches y hasta mañana!!!!!!

Neva, you just rule! To even humor me with this! Words cannot describe how sweet I think you are! Joel, if it is ok, I just LOOOOOVEEEEE your wife!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Catty Yummy Hermana, they’re taking off my favorite show, Deadwood, too.

You could have knocked me over with a feather when I read you had a background in the dramatic arts.

I am SHOCKED!!! SHOCKED I SAY!!!!!

Comment by Walela

The Deadwood cancellation is a travesty indeed…great show deserves a much better fate!

Comment by BoBo (aka Joel)

Really Deadwood is cancelled too? Damnit – what will big norsk (my dad) and I have to talk about? I just can’t get into big love…. I might just have to for the sake of our relationship! *lol* (really its good we just talk a lot of Soprano’s and Deadwood.)

Comment by cj / romance enhancer

Yep deader than a doornail save for two, two-hour specials next year to wrap it all up. Very sad.

Comment by BoBo

People are most surprised when I tell them I was a missionary at one time. That’s about it for now.

Comment by Sweet Baboo

A missionary? Really?

Surprised? Yes, surprised is a word. Very cool because it makes sense but…in shock. I am speechless. Again. Always rendering me speechless.

Hm…how does a little blue pill corrupt a former missionary? Hm… (grins wickedly and skips away)

Comment by Little Blue Pill




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