Central Snark


Mondays ‘re Tough by Snuppy
Monday, 10 July 2006, 8:23am
Filed under: friends

WE should know. One of us just saw our husband come back home after leaving for work, not once, but twice because of “clothing irregularities” (where’s a good dry cleaner when you need one?). So we were amused to find this somewhat lengthy suggestion in the “in” box, courtesy of SPIN CYCLE, a relative newcomer to the park, who was certainly not shy about proposing topics to discuss.

We suspect this will work out well on a day like this, what with it being Monday, and our brains not quite in fully functional mode just yet, and the clothing irregularities, and all. Feel free to address any and/or all of the following and/or add a pet peeve and/or inquiry of your own (like: “where’s a good dry cleaner when you need one?)! Who knows? Perhaps, once we get all this shit and/or curiosity out of our collective systems, we’ll be able to “feel the love” for the rest of the week. Happy Monday, Snarklets, and without further ado, let the Snark and/or Answerfest begin! ~ snuppy

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

She writes:

I think we should snark about:

*Why men can’t seem to find anything. They couldn’t find their butts with both hands.

*What our favorite season is

*Do we choose sex or sleep

*How do we really feel about The View

*Is George Bush really stupid, or just a master of deciet.

*Our dirty rotten little secret. We all got em.

*What are we insecure about.

*Why are nude beaches such a big deal in the US?

*Share your favorite recipe and the story behind it

Okay that’s a start:)

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46 Comments so far
Leave a comment

how ’bout…

“10 years after the ‘TWA 800 tragedy’, doubts abound and conspiracy claims persist despite finding the fuel-tank blast destroyed the 747″…

…come on over to my place and voice your opinion on today’s MondayMeme!

Comment by Canine Karen

will do, girlfriend! thanks for the head’s up!! 🙂

Comment by snuppytoes

Back from Chicago…I had a wonderful time. My mini-vacation did me wonders. And I don’t have to start my new job until tomorrow, so I am enjoying a lazy Monday of unpacking and maybe some shopping.

OK, the thing on Spin Cycle’s list that popped out at me first was *Do we choose sleep or sex….and I say SEX!!! Sleep is highly overrated. 😉

Comment by Ride'Em Cowgirl

to 6th one down: I don’t know, he hasnt’ answered my e-mail yet.

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

Oh that was actually the 5th one down.

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

I would just like to say something about the first item…male blindness…first of all I believe that I CAN find my butt with both hands…wait, wait….yes, I can indeed find it with both…whew! One would have been a reach but with two it took no time at all. Anyway I too would like to know why we guys have such a hard time seeing the salad dressing front and center in the refrigerator or the underwear sitting on top of our dresser. Is it genetic? Is the male eyeball structured differently…the brain perhaps?? Inquiring mind(s) want to know!

Comment by BoBo

honey, it’s Male Refrigerator Blindness… i think it’s attached to the Y chromsome, but we’ll have to wait for the Amoeba to show up to find out! xox

here are my answers to the *rest* of the “list”:

2. spring. (or fall. maybe summer. possibly winter)
3. sex is better after a good sleep. sleep is better after good sex.
4. the View sucks. like a 2-bit whore on a 4-bit date (i know i’ve used that before, but i’m quite sure it applies here)
5. stupid
6. i hate to cook
7. having something stuck in my teeth
8. see Friday’s post/comments
9. see #6

Comment by snuppy

Male refrigerator blindness, that cracks me up not 14 hours after hearing “The tartar sauce is right there! Look, just close your right hand!”

1. Incompetency has saved every marriage that ever lasted.
2. Winter.
3. Whichever’s quieter.
4. ???
5. Not sure, how does he do on “i” before “e” except after “c?” (sorry, it was there)
6. I still want a micronaut.
7. My species.
8. We have them?
9. Son-of-a-gun (goulash in a casserole) I don’t know the story, but it’s good.

Comment by Walela

I shall continue the trend…

1. Each gender has its strengths and weaknesses…some more obvious than others.
2. Fall
3. Perhaps a better question would be – have kids & dogs or have sex?
4. We don’t
5. An Academy Award if this is all an act.
6. I watched “Dancing with the Stars”…and enjoyed it.
7. My hair…no my pants being too short (from childhood)…no hair…no…
8. Because we are still repressed puritans at heart.
9. Pasta boiled in hot water…garlic bagels toasted in oven…because I can.

Comment by BoBo

1. In men, it’s Refrigerator Blindness, and it demands ridicule. In women, it’s ADD, and it demands prescriptions and foundations.

2. The one that finds me above ground.

3. Hail Venus! Those without a choice salute you!

4. That must be TV. You know how I feel about TV. You don’t wish me to repeat it.

5. Whaddaya mean just?

6. It’s called a secret for a reason.

7. Yes.

8. Because some of us are afraid we might meet Demi Moore in her prime. And others, Roseanne Barr in hers.

9. Stir-fried beef and broccoli. It was spaghetti with beef marinara, but Mum couldn’t have any because it gave No. 1 the colic. And you didn’t want No. 1 to be upset about anything. And as yours truly was doing the cooking … no. we ain’t going there.

Comment by The Amoeba

1. Rgds butts, most likely coz they’re waiting for us women to find it, spank it and love it.

2. I am stuck with summer all year round but on holidays, autumn. Autumn makes me sentimental. Of course, I also love autumn because I get to play dress up in high boots and fancy coats, something I don’t get to do much of in 30 Cel weather!@##!!

3. Sex.

6. Dirty secret = I am a fried chicken freak. Have fried chicken, will surrender. Have fried chicken, will happily eat 5 pieces at a go. Have fried chicken, will belch and sigh and forget all good manners. Oh wait. Were you expecting naughty secrets? Well, this is a PG blog, right?

7. My ugly feet. They’re tiny but broad and I have fat stubby toes. They are calorie storing toes.

9. Shepherd’s pie. Only because everyone oohs and ahhs over it and it pleases my shallow vain self no end.

Comment by good girl

Okay, here goes:

1) I think the experssion goes “couldn’t find his *ahem* in the dark with a flashlight (insert whatever you like). Come on, you know what I mean.
2) I’m with Neva – in reverse? Fall, Summer, sometimes Winter, oh but Spring. I do love Fall.
3) Do we have to choose?
4) I don’t know, how do I feel about what my neighbors are having for dinner? On the same scale.
5) Still awaiting his response to my e-mail.
6) I eat my young.
7) That I’ll get indigestion after completing #6.
8) See “The Naked Truth” – it’s already been stripped bare.
9) Whatever Adrian’s making:) The old Henny Youngman joke: What’s my wife’s favorite thing to make for dinner? Reservations! que up violin. (Hey OC, women love a guy that cooks).

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

Re: butt spanking. After decades of men being told “No touch, on penalty of crucifixion”.

HYPOCRITICAL, adj. A drug addict complaining about the quality of the needle and syringe. The most common form of criticism now to be found in the United States of America.

Comment by The Amoeba

YLL –

women love a guy that cooks

Really? Not so I’ve noticed. See #3, above.

Comment by The Amoeba

Amoeba: Ah, I see where you men get mixed signals, but trust me, chicks love a guy who cooks.

So, are you telling me something entirely different on the whole crucifixion story?

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

I would much rather have a man that does the dishes than cooks…I love to cook.

Comment by Ride'Em Cowgirl

I guess I just don’t cook the right things.

You touch mine, it’s fun and games. I touch yours, it’s a sexual harassment suit. The one thing at the university that trumps tenure. Whether it’s true or not. I call that crucifixion.

This is not to be construed as a defense of sexual harassment. It is a call for consistency. For, dare I say it, equality.

Comment by The Amoeba

I guess as a woman, I just don’t get why you would have a problem just treating someone with respect whether that person be a male or female. Because let’s be frank – it is too often that the woman’s side of the story is not heard. And let’s get even franker, frank, it seems to depend on the source of the comment 🙂

With generalities I am only left to guess to what you are *hinting*.

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

Ya know, I get where you are coming from O’C.

There is a line somewhere…and it has been muddied. Life is not black and white…too much gray to be misconstrued.

Comment by Ride'Em Cowgirl

YLL ~ you hit it on the head…respect should be across the board regardless.

Comment by Ride'Em Cowgirl

Scratches lampshade – did I touch your amoeba?

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

Thank you Cowgirl, I’ll do the dishes.

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

What? is it intermission or something?

Comment by BoBo

1. I think it’s because the brain is connected to the penis – anything else would be a distraction

2. Any season without snow…or -30 temperatures

3. I have to choose?

4. The View is designed to make our brains bleed.

5. A little bit from column A, a little bit from column B

6. If I told you it would be a secret would it?

7. My writing.

8. You have nude beaches? Where?

9. Brother’s chicken & brie wrap with dried cranberries and raspberries mayonnaise. Who cares about the story…I just want more. Mmm…brieeeee.

Comment by Little Blue Pill

I believe you just came between rounds.

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

LL: did he come? or is he just breathing heavy? (ba-dum-bum).

Bobo: sorry honey… a cheesy joke at your expense. couldn’t resist. xoxo

for the record, my husband can prepare a mean plate of spaghetti…but what’s so great is the fact that he can order pizza, chinese, thai, or mexican food equally well. AND he always does the dishes. always. (yes…envy me, i am a lucky woman!)

Amoeba: i hear what you’re sayin’… and i agree with you AND that wise Lampshade (she’s older ‘n wiser ‘n better, kids… there’s no stopping her now!). there is a ridicuous double standard in the workplace, that is coupled with an inane level of SC (sexual correctness) and it is very unfair. there is a line of appropriate behavior that both sexes should take care in crossing. respect is a concept more people would do well to grasp.

LBP: ya had me right up to the mayo. mayo is evil. the end.

Comment by snuppy

Thank you Cowgirl. It is, indeed, about mutual respect.

EQUALITY, n. In the physics of interpersonal and societal interactions, the state of greatest dynamic instability, sustainable only with massive and perennially increasing energy inputs. The amount of equality in any social equation is directly proportional to the number, diversity, and vehemence of persons claiming persecution.

Comment by The Amoeba

Okay, but we are not in the workplace (although err my employer might beg to differ).

My point was ‘ “why the sudden offense?”.

And I do so agree on the double standard, but the truth is (let’s all be honest here) it is more often than not a woman placed in a compromising position – by a comment or whatever. I stand firm in the belief that I’d rather see one or two false accusations by either a male or a female than one wrongfully overlooked one.

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

I believe that was my original point, but back to my comment, “depends who the commentor is” . Didn’t you realize you don’t always need a microscope?

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

touche LL! see? older. wiser.

Comment by snuppy

i’ve been the victim of sexual harassment on more than one occasion over the course of my career, so i couldn’t agree with you more, LL. there is nothing more offensive than having some pond scum of a boss think he can get away with calling you in the middle of the night to see if you want him to come over and help you break in your new waterbed. (it happened, and it was beyond awful)

that said, it would be wrong not to acknowledge the fact that there are some women who encourage flirtation, up to a point, and then when a guy (because, as much as we love ’em, these are the same people who can’t see the salad dressing/tarter sauce right in front of their noses) mistakes the flirtation for something else, and responds accordingly, he’s cut down… and sometimes out of a job. doubtful this happens as often as the aforementioned fat-assed boss-calling-in-the-middle-of-the-night scenario, but still… it’s there. once in awhile. from time to time. in a blue moon. every century or so.

Comment by snuppy

Actually, to sum up my feelings entirely before I hit the trails, and as per usual Bob Dyaln says it best:

Don’t need a weather man
to tell which way the wind blows.

For sure older, that can never be debated my dear snuppy.

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

amen, sistah…. amen! xox

Comment by snuppy

OK… here’s my go at it…

1~ I like men and cannot play into this one. I am actually the one who finds nothing, NOTHING I TELL YOU, and more often than not that nothing is literally in front of my face which causes the distraught Loverboy to have a mental head-bashing WHY GOD WHY moment with regards to his clutzy, ramblingm ranting choice of a wife! (I AM ENTERTAINING AT LEAST DAMMIT!)

2~ Well, I love summer but when it arrives it is way too damn hot and so I look forward to fall but it is way too messy what with all the leaves and all so then winter is a nice change but the cold makes it hard for me to be naked and I need a whole lotta naked in my life so that’s gotta go and then spring arrives and on its first day I grow a year older and WHO ON EARTH WANTS THAT (???) so… BAH!

3~ You gotta CHOOSE? Mon dieu! Sex it up I say!

4~ Them bitches would be great target practice, especially that dumbass, bugeyed “look-at-me-and-how-fab-I-think-I-am-with-this-weight-loss-that-has-me-still-chunky-and-no-I-ain’t-telling-you-how-I-did-it-although-I-will-go-on-and-on-about-my-breasts-and-my-wedding-to-the-wussy-man-I-married” Star friggin’ Jones. I am gonna karate punch her bobbleheaded self! K-POW!!!

5~ In the words of my daughter who has been unabashedly and fantastically brainwashed by yours truly to explain his evil ways away and why we hate the man, HATE I SAY, “George Bush is a BAD, BAD man who doesn’t like women, and who doesn’t like kids and who wants to kill the trees and the animals! He is a very bad man! VERY BAD!”

6~ My blog. It is all in there.

7~ Hum… um… I love being on stage but always hope that I don’t accidentally fart. Never happened, probably never will but that is what crosses my mind. “Lordy Lord, please don’t let me fart!”

8~ Because there are a lot of dinga lings dingin’ and lingin’…

9~ Ha, ha, haaa! Me cook? Now THAT is comedy!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

canine karen runs in cause she fergot to say earlier that georgie porgie is very stupid, but you all knew that! 🙂

*woof*

Comment by Canine Karen

This is homemade mayo, Snuppy. *wipes chin*

And I’d kill for Bro’s chicken parmessan. Oooh and his chicken parmigana. Oooh and his strawberry spinach salad with strawberries, mango and special dressing with REAL maple syrup and balsamic vinegar and other stuff he won’t share with me. (I just read this to my friend and she actually moaned at the mention of Bro’s salad. It’s that good. Orgasmic good. And it’s salad. SALAD!!) For some reason he thinks I’ll give it away. OOOOH and his chocolate mousse tear drops. Hot DAMN that boy can cook. I have actually been known to whimper and beg for his spinach salad. Whimper AND beg. Do you know what kind of power that gives a brother? The kind of power that can break a girl.

Oh and his steaks are worth murdering over. Really. You get between me and my brother-grilled steak and I will take you down with my steak knife. Take. You. Down.

Comment by Little Blue Pill

Ok, I certainly flirt in the workplace(I am beyond guilty of that, but hell it gets me what I want)…but I make sure that everyone knows where I stand. I think that it works both ways…men need to remember that everything that smiles at them and is nice doesn’t want to sleep with them, and women need to understand that they are pushing the envelope and make their intentions clear.

Comment by Ride'Em Cowgirl

I flirt in the workplace if you consider sarcasm flirtation. Everyone is married so nothing comes of it. Well, or else they’re family – them I don’t flirt with. Eew. Just eew. When I worked in the oil industry…okay LOTS of flirting there. Now that I think about it that Rigpig S never did buy me my drinks to get me drunk. Sigh. And he was HOT!!

I will flirt with certain customers but only because they call me a genius goddess. For them I’ll get their jobs out faster. You yell in my ear? I’m going to sit on it until I’m utterly bored. Unless it was last Friday then I let everything pile up for them to do this week while I’m away. Enh…whatevs.

Comment by Little Blue Pill

Actually, to set the record straight, this was not a flirting in the workplace rant. The fact that it became one, well allright. We actually (in my older office where there were a lot more people) had a good old time and had quite a bit of fun at the expense of the mandatory Sexual Harassment videos. Anyone who gets any sense of me here or in “real life” gets that. We were and still are all friends – nobdoy felt threatened by anyone else. The woman gave as good as they got. But everyone knew also that there were lines not to be crossed.

Apprarantly, a comment was made regarding spanking (my best guess) and suddenly the boat was rocking with shouts of double standard. I have never been in a situation workwise that couldn’t be brushed off with a joke, but as a woman, I am sensitive to the insensitivity of sexual harassment or treatment of woman around the world. So if you want to call me a feminist, that’s an apt description. Believe me the aformentioned sexual correctness and political correctness are what happens when sensible rules and common sense are removed from your hands. But let’s think this through here to its natural conclusion, we wouldn’t be at the hands of these double standards and ridiculous rules if there weren’t such atrocities occurring to begin with.

Whenever there is a cry for equality because an oppressed party makes strides, I just can’t help but question what is really going on behind it.

Comment by lampshadelady

i said it before, and i’ll say it again… amen, sistah, amen!

like you, LL, i’ve been able to handle most harassment situations with humor. (that and/or a good kick in the balls can wonders.) the one incident i mentioned earlier (boss-call-waterbed) was so horrifying and unbelieveable to me, i still can’t imagine how it happened. or how i managed to make it through work the next day. or after work, when he forced me to stay and “talk” about his silly call. and, yes he apologized, but with the addendum that, in case i *was* interested, he was too. i quit my job. and learned a huge lesson about being a victim. so the next asshole who tried to “flirt” with me in such a terrifying way was fired within a day of his incredibly inappropriate comment, that he claimed later, was all a misunderstanding. right.

in the workplace, naivite is a woman’s greatest enemy. and ignorance and/or conceit is a man’s. sadly, there are those who are simply too socially inept to understand where the line of decency is supposed to be drawn, which is going to lead to trouble every time.

that’s not to say i think every guy who takes a “flirty joke” too far means to do so, because, as i also said earlier, i think there are times when that’s honestly not the case. but, unless you know for sure what kind of relationship you do and can have with someone at work, it’s ever-so-important to avoid giving and/or looking for those so-called mixed signals. common decency says treat everyone with respect. honestly, it should be that simple. sadly, too often, it is not.

rant? who said you were on a rant?? i call this an amazing and worthwhile discussion. points well made, points well taken. doug gave you the crown, girlfriend… and you really do wear it well! xox

Comment by snuppy

*Why men can’t seem to find anything. They couldn’t find their butts with both hands.

Me: I think it’s because they KNOW without a doubt that if they bitch and whine about it LONG enough we will tire of that whining and get up and go find it.

*What our favorite season is

Me: Fall, Spring, Summer, Winter

*Do we choose sex or sleep

Me: Before kids, SEX. After the kid — SLEEP. I am perpertually tired!

*How do we really feel about The View

Me:

*Is George Bush really stupid, or just a master of deciet.

Me: STOOPID

*Our dirty rotten little secret. We all got em.

Me: I humped my good friends fiancee’ not knowing it was her finacee, as I hadn’t ever met him. It’s a long sorrid story.

*What are we insecure about.

Me: Not being good enough.

*Why are nude beaches such a big deal in the US?

Me: I dunno and it’s so silly. It’s just boobs for gawds sakes.

*Share your favorite recipe and the story behind it

Spaghetti and Meatballs
Meatballs
1 lb. ground beef
3/4 lb. ground pork
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 handfuls of bread crumbs
2 tablespoons dried basil
2-3 handfuls of freshly grated parmesan cheese
2 eggs
salt and pepper to taste
Sauce

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 small onion, chopped
1-2 cloves garlic, minced
2 cans (6 oz.) tomato paste
1 can (15 oz.) tomato sauce
6 tomato paste cans (36 oz.) water
salt and pepper
2 tablespoons dried basil
1 tablespoon dried oregano
1/2 C freshly grated parmesan cheese

Serves 8

For Meatballs

Mix all ingredients together in a bowl. Use hands to thoroughly mix everything together. Form meatballs, approximately 1 1/2″ in diameter, by rolling between your palms. If meat mixture is too wet or sticky, add more bread crumbs to the mix. Makes 35-40 meatballs.

For Sauce
Heat oil, onion and garlic. Carefully remove garlic and onion and put in large saucepan. Add water, tomato sauce and tomato paste to garlic and onion. Mix well. Add basil, oregano, and salt and pepper to taste. Add parmesan cheese and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer. Makes enough sauce for two family size servings (family size = 4 adults or 2 adults and 4 children with leftovers).
The Meal

Bring sauce and meatballs to a boil over medium-high heat. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 90 minutes. Meatballs can be simmered as long as 3 hours, the longer they are simmered the better. 15 minutes before meatballs are done, cook spaghetti noodles according to package directions. Remove meatballs with a slotted spoon and place in a warm serving dish; set aside. When noodles are done, drain and rinse according to package directions. Pour noodles into serving bowl and toss with a couple of handfuls of freshly grated parmesan cheese. This adds not only a wonderful flavor to your spaghetti, but it also helps hold the sauce on the noodles. Add enough sauce to coat but do not make your spaghetti swim! Serve topped with meatballs and freshly grated parmesan cheese

**Easiest recipe evah!!!!

Comment by My Spin On Things

Yes Neva, I’ve conditioned myself to say rant. Because, as you know, often when a woman voices her opinion, she is considered a shrew, when a man does he is to be admired for his wisdom.

For the record – a crown is better than a stinky old beanie any day. Just ask Pansi. http://www.pansifiles.blogspot.com

Now time for bed, even shrews need rest. xox

Comment by lampshadelady

It’s unfair that because of an accident of birth I can’t be shrew. Wise men are common as dirt.

Comment by Doug

Watch our for water, it could turn you to mud.

Comment by Yo Lampshade Lady

O. k., Lampshade Lady. Pansi and I have weighed in on the first topic here. More to come.

Comment by weirsdo

Sorry, I lied. It’s here. Really.

Comment by weirsdo




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