Filed under: cracks us up
AS you know, we’re a pretty cheap date, because we’re very easy to entertain. Especially since we’ll laugh at just about anything. That said, we’re hard-pressed to think you won’t spray your own computer screens with whatever it is that you’re in the process of sipping and/or eating if you watch THIS* while doing so. You know, we always wondered why women think differently from men. Now we know. Or we think we do. At least we thought we did before we started thinking about…kittens.
UNFORTUNATELY, those kittens kept us from noticing the fact that today, 31 August 2006, is BLOGDAY. What, you ask, is BlogDay? We aren’t sure, but we seem to remember reading something about it being a way to link bloggers from all over the world, in order to help spread the Bloggy Love. Gee. Bloggers from all over the world? Like Spain? And Iceland? The Enchanted Wonderland? California? CANADA?? Hmmmm. Where-oh-where (or is that how-oh-how?) would we ever find folks from fascinating places like that? (Many Thanks to our favorite Cuban in Tennessee, PAVEL, for this link!)
*BY the way, once again we snatched the above video right out from under the nose of our Bloggoddess, SWEETNEY.COM. We don’t know what the hell we’re gonna do if she ever finds out how much material we steal borrow from her. We’re pretty sure she could totally kick our collective asses if she felt like it, so we’re kind of hoping she never finds out.
~ snuppy
Filed under: BoheMia Rhaps
I am in LOVE with this woman! LOVE I SAY!
Jocelyn, I’ll be yo bitch FO SHO!
How’s that for a post?
Now, whose bitch would you be? Where the lovin’ at and for whom or for what? Hmmm? No specific thread here… can be movies, TV, actors, writers, crushes, memories of… come on! Could this be any easier? NOW DISH!
And with that,
BoheMia OUT!
Filed under: Teh Penguin
Got you! That woke you up, didn’t it?!
But don’t worry, fancy words are not always frigtening. They just masquarede with many sylables and odd looking suffixes. Just to scare you!
I thought today we would try to get to know each other a bit better. Don’t worry, I am not gonna ask for the colour of your underwear-mine has a picture of Snoopy on it by the way. As I was lying yesterday on my couch, thinking about stuff-sometimes I get that way on Mondays between 3 and 3.30- I was thinking about a most defining moment in my life. A move that definately had a direction to it. Something that if you wouldn’t have taken it, you´d be somewhere else rigth now. Those moments can have been good or bad.
Mine was good!
I was 19. Just finished school and had no clue what to do with my life. I still don’t know, but I feel closer to the right ending than I ever did back then. Somehow I had gotten wind of a working postion with an autistic boy in a country I couldn´t even point to on a map. I accepted and found myself at the airport. Check-in. I never had been on a plane before. I was terrified of what lay ahead of me. As they where asking for my boarding card I held tightly on to it. And that was my moment. I had to make a choice, right there. I think it only took 30 seconds or something, but it felt like hours. My past flashed through my brain, my future a blurr and 30 seconds later I handed them my boarding card with A SMILE! I knew it was the right choice. There is such a thing as good scared. Somebody once told me there is no right or wrong, there are just consequences of your actions.
I have no problem taking responsibility for that boarding ticket incident.
It brought me everything I always knew I deserved to have!
Now: you guys! Can you think back to a similar incident, that made you stop for a sec and contemplate and than a decision demanded your attention. I know we are trying to be anonymous around the bloggoverse, so just roughly will do fine 🙂
Thinking caps on, everybody…it is Tuesday, not Monday…so there is no excuse!
~teh penguin~
Filed under: happy happy
WELL lookey here, if it isn’t Monday again. Don’t you just hate the way the weekends fly by without so much as a hey-nonny-nonny or a ho-ho-ho? Us too.
THAT SAID, we accept our boring inclinations, because we don’t have the energy to do anything about it. That’s right, we’re content to embrace our boring ways, dammit. Still, we wouldn’t mind being boring quite so much if we could be boring AND funny, like THIS GUY. This link is to his first episode of sublimely hum-drum life in the next-to-the-last lane, but if you’re already familiar with his work, JERRY has a new(ish) episode, about his not-so-very-exciting-but-lame trip to Gettysburg, PA. (there have been a total of 8 episodes, which you’ll find on the main page of his Vlog)
IN case any of you wondered, It’sJerryTime has been around for less than a year, but his Vlog has already garnered some nice awards, not to mention impressive buzz. According to The St. Petersberg Times, it’s “Pure entertainment…a collection of weird, but incredibly funny, tales of a sad sack who trudges through life.” The Boston Globe calls it “Brilliantly Mundade”. And, finally, I Come of Reykjavik sings it’s praises by saying “Animeita vídjóblogg eftir einhvern gaur. etta er frábær snilld. Hann er svo óttalega næs og…og…óheppinn og yndislegur. Bara tvær færslur komnar, en meira á leiinni.”
WHAT more could you ask for? More links? More jokes? More tales of “what we didn’t do for fun over the weekend”? What part of “we’re content to embrace our boring ways” didn’t you understand?
~ snuppy
Filed under: cracks us up
*Oh sure, we could do a new post today, but why bother? Clearly many of you Snarksters are off doing something (anything) besides hanging out in the Blogosphere. Don’t worry about us being stuck at home on a crappy rainy Sunday morning… we’ll be fine. Just fine. You just keep having fun. We’ll just keep being pathetic.
* * * * *
IS it possible this is really the last weekend in August? Holy cow, how did that happen? Where-oh-where did our summer go? We’re shocked. Shocked, we tell you, SHOCKED!
OKAY, so some of us actually spent a month or so in Germany, some of us already live in the oh-so-glamorous country of Spain, and some of us will soon be heading out for a fab family trip to a sandy beach along the Atlantic shoreline. Then there are those of us who’ve been satisfied to sit at home, week after week after week, eating Mexican food and watching the weeds grow in the front lawn.
WELL, maybe we did a few interesting things. But, for the most part, we just hung around and tried to avoid thinking about anything too ponderous, as we tend to get headaches. That said, we’ve been trying to pay attention to current event as much as humanly possible, but only in ways we find AMUSING. Or ENTERTAINING. Or flat out FUNNY. Or flat out FUNNY *and* ENTERTAINING. Because A) we really like to laugh, and B) that’s the kind of shallow non-serious thinking people we are.
BUT hey, at least we didn’t waste time watching THIS crap. Okay, maybe we did glance at one or two of these, but no matter how funny and/or entertaining it was, watching an entire show about crummy commercials would have been incredibly sad, not to mention pathetic. Even we have limits.
~ snuppy
‘Cause it is Friday and it is time for us to laugh and enjoy the rest of the week! Also, the painkillers have affected the synaptic transmitting of my two remaining neurons…and therefore copy/paste is the only thing I am capable of this morning.
here we go:
“Knowing American History
|
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, “Lets begin by reviewing some American history. “Who said Give me Liberty, or give me Death?” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. “Patrick Henry, 1775.” “Very good!” said the teacher. “Now, who said, Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?” Again, no response except from Pedro: “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.” The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!” She heard a loud whisper: “Screw the Mexicans!” “Who said that?” she demanded. Pedro put his hand up. “Jim Bowie, 1836.” At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.” The teacher glared and asked, “All right! Now, who said that?” Again, Pedro answered, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.” Now furious, another student yelled, “Oh yeah? Suck this!” Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, “Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!” Now, with almost a mob-hysteria, the teacher said, “If you say anything else, I´ll kill you!” Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, “Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001.” The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, “Oh shit, we´re in BIG trouble now!” Pedro whispered, “Saddam Hussein, 2003.” Finally, someone threw an eraser at Pedro and another student shouted, “Duck”! The teacher, just waking up and still a bit out of it, asked “Who said that? Pedro: “Dick Cheney 2006!”” |
Now: for today´s question: If you realize that you don’ t know something, but everyone else seems to know what is going on…do you make a point of asking, do you laugh along or do you remain silent?
In the spirit of that, who the heck is Gary Condit and Chandra Levy?
Thought I throw in one for good meassure:
“A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”
Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let´s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she´s the administrator of the money, so well call her the Government. We´re here to take care of your needs, so we´ll call you the people. The nanny, we´ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, well call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,”
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents´ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny´s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.””
If you have read either one before, you are way too much on the internet!
~teh Penguin~
Filed under: friends
THURSDAY already? Wowie… time flies when you’re having fun* and/or not laying in bed with a bum foot.
WE figured it might be nice to keep the Snark post short today, for there are many goings-on … er… um… going on around the Blogosphere. So, in our continued efforts to cheer up Teh PENGUIN (and all the rest of you and/or us who are ailing in some way, shape, and/or form) our question is a simple one:
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE STUCK AT HOME, AILING IN SOME WAY, SHAPE AND/OR FORM?
SOME of us lay on the couch and watch waaaaay too much TV. Some of us sleep. Some of us drag ourselves to the computer in order to live vicariously through the rest of you via blogs. Yep, some of us are just that pathetic desperate interested in finding some means for entertaining our pathetic desperate naturally curious selves.
OH YEAH, and if you’re one of those freaks people who rarely takes a day off due to illness and/or the occasional broken bone, we want to know what the hell’s wrong with you YOU’RE doing to cheer us up?
*SPEAKING of flying time and having fun while it does so… today the LAMPSHADE LADY celebrates an impressive/important blogging landmark, 90 days on the Blogosphere wagon! She’s handing out balloons at the door, but only while supplies last. Congratulations Gina!! And thank you for casting your bright and beautiful light in our general direction.
~ snuppy
Filed under: friends
** THERE are a couple of excellent UPDATES (one from teh Penguin, one from teh BoheMian Yummy Mummy) on this post from yesterday, which is why we’re leaving it up an extra day!!**
GOOD GRIEF! We step out for a couple of hours and come back to find what? That our own dear PENGUIN has taken a stupid nasty fall and broken a bone in her foot! Needless to say, we’re out of our minds with worry. On the flip side (sorry Penguin, no pun intended there) we’re hoping her folly will be to our advantage. Afterall, a girl with a bum foot is a girl stuck at her computer. And a girl stuck at her computer is a girl who does posts. And a girl who does posts means we won’t have to!
SPEAKING of all things Penguin, yesterday she (and I) had a little fun at the DAWG’S expense…as a result, a new term came into being, a little something coined by Walela known as a Folliday–which we think is a holiday dedicated to folly. Walela suggested we come up with a few “Follidays”, an idea we all loved and planned to do tomorrow. HOWEVER, in light of teh Penguin’s fall, we thought it might be fun to start today. So, after you go visit our little injured Fräulein and cover her blog with “get well” wishes, why doncha come back here and offer up ideas for our first “official” Foliday. Defekter Fußtag is the first thing that sprang into our heads, but, hey, we’re open to suggestions.
~ snuppy
Penguin here….
I am bored, my foot hurts and I am feeling sorry for myself. So I have decided to bug you with some interesting information about feet:
* The 52 bones in your feet account for one quarter of all the bones in the body.
* Each foot is able to absorb pressures of more than one ton per square inch. Bones and ligaments of the feet spread this force and send it efficiently through the leg bones.
* There are about 250,000 sweat glands in a pair of feet, and they excrete up to a half-pint of moisture each day.
* Experts recommend taking 10,000 steps a day for health. To order a step-counter, or pedometer, call 317-634-1100. All proceeds will go to support the Neighborhood Heart Watch, a national initiative sponsored by the Post to place lifesaving defibrillators in neighborhoods across the country.
And did you know that butterflies taste with their feet?
Oh and one more thing:
While sitting at your desk make clockwise circles with your right foot. (go ahead no one will see you!) While doing this, draw the number “6” in the air with your right hand.
Your foot will change direction.
Now wasn’t that fun?
BoheMia IN
Seeing the partay I have been missing as my Snarkster sistahs lend their voices to this ecclectic and ever-growing post and seeing that I am up since 4:30 am (courtesy of a shrieking-little-boy-who-had-peed-and-needed-changing-but-that-wasn’t-all-oh-no-as-he-figured-he-might-as-well-go-for-the-full-grouchy-mummy-package-and-demand-a-damn-massage-to-help-him-sleep-and-thus-rob-me-of-my-sleep-thank-you-very-much) and have nothing to do while sitting on this here orange couch, dizzy and delirious at 6am, I though what the hell, a little schizo action might be in order!
Do I have anything to say? Beats me! The loving and eloquent Snuppy and the fabulously google-licious Penguin are hard acts to follow FO SHO but well, the first to declare myself a prime example of human-folly personified, here I am, running straight into that brick wall and FUCK does that hurt!
What?
You know, my thoughts are aimed at my son, as I sit here and type this, wondering WHY GOD WHY I am to get no sleep in this current incarnation as Miz BoheMia, or Catty Yummy Mummy, take your pick… and then, having a jumbled forever active mind that I do, I segue into the fact that though a Mommy I will punch anyone in the face until they are a bloody mess if ever they dare call me a Mommy Blogger because the last thing you are to hear me speak of are my delightful bohemian nutcases in the voice of a 50’s good-golly-goshing-housewife and “I love those damn, little fuckers” is something more along the lines of what you will hear from me…
And I do love me those little fuckers FO SHO but definitely not their sleep habits and though I mention beating people into a bloody pulp I am afraid it is the insomnia talking… maybe I can beat that into a bloody pulp…
Bottomline, twalk amongst yourselves… about Follidays, feet (and I might mention that as a Pisces with screwed up feet the only explanation I can muster on the subject is that I truly was meant to be a mermaid as feet and this bohemian simply do not mix), and blathering-idiots-with-nothing-to-say-who-for-some-reason-decided-to-post-this-crap-anyway (that would be me and the crap would be my portion of the post)… maybe you can try to read between the lines (HAH! Like there is anything to be found there!) and try to find some meaning in all of this…
I sure would like to know what end is up!
Because it is obvious I do not!
Dammit!
But I do have one question… G, WHERE Y’AT? YOUR TURN NOW! Ha, ha, haaa!
And with that, BoheMia OUT!
*update: NEW LINK! Hopefully it’s a better version!
SOMETIMES we luck out and trip over an interesting link we think we should share. As luck would have it, this is one of those days, and THIS is one of those links. Go ahead. Try it… all you have to do is type in a few words, and the Google Talky Thingy does the rest. Sometimes this comes up with totally cool sentences, from random bits of Google info. Just be careful, though, because sometimes it gets stuck. Sometimes it gets stuck on a really stupid word. A stupid word that leaves you wondering about stuff.
WE started our “sentence” with the first four words below, and the rest was filled in by that Google Talky Thingy:
Smart People Write Blogs Just because they are. a little more interesting than the moon s and Sun h) and Trivedi, KS, Queueing network models for parallel Processing of the NIST compliant transactions. The Automated. Workflow did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did did…
…did what? Did good? The laundry? Did anyone win the lottery? Did someone drink the last Tab? Did ya hear the one about the guy that walked into a bar? Did you know the way to San Jose?? Did what, for God’s sake, WHAT?!!?
YOU know, we thought that Google Talky Thingy was fun, but then it started to drive us nuts. Did we say started? It DID drive us nuts. Maybe you’ll have more luck. We sure hope so. To tell the truth, we got up this morning feeling pretty good about ourselves. Even confident. We couldn’t wait to race over and take today’s QUIZ, especially since some of us (me) haven’t scored very well over the past couple of weeks. We really hoped to kick a little academic ass. But now our heads hurt from that stupid Google Talky Thingy, and until we can figure out what the hell we did wrong (or right) we plan to stay away from anything more challenging than, say, sipping coffee and/or doing the crossword in People Magazine and/or watching THIS* a few more times.
*Yes yes… we know the movie was stupid, but this is cute and, if nothing else, the music is catchy! We stole this off of SWEETNEY.COM, because we could.
~ snuppy
Filed under: Teh Penguin
Hi Snarksters and a wonderful Monday morning to all of you.
Since I am new here and not entirely familiar with decorum, I have decided to just write a post and see what happens. I thought that it might be interesting for you guys to learn some interesting things about Iceland. If it is, let me know so and if it isn´t…well, I already published!
“It is not as far away as one might imagine, just five and a half hours from New York (closer than San Francisco)”. So if you feel up for a visit, just drop me a line and arrangements shall be made!
There are no ruins to visit because most structures were built of wood and turf, and did not last. It is the most volcanic place on earth, and only 1% of the land is under cultivation. Lyer calls it “otherworldly…a country so lunar that NASA astronauts did there training there…” Oh and yes, many a Hollywood movie has amazing scenes from this Iceland. James Bond for one!
“Island had a national assembly in the year 930 and abolished slavery in 1117. Although it waited until 1915 to give women the vote, it was ahead of the U.S. in this by two years, and what’s more, it elected a woman president in 1980.” Explains our pride, we do believe we are ahead of so many things!
“The literacy rate is 100%, and it is perhaps the most literary of nations, with the largest number of poets and the largest number of books published (about 20 times as many as the U.S.). One night every year, members of the Parliament must all speak in rhyme.” We are funny like that! But it is true. I think the reason is that we are all related, if you are willing to go back far enough. And if your uncle publishes a book, well you must read it ´cause he might have mentioned you. And since your uncle could publish a book, there is no reason why you can´t. Every Icelander gets at least one book for Christmas and it is usually the biography of aforementioned uncle.
“Couples who live together without the benefit of marriage are not legally responsible for each other and are not each other’s heirs. Three out of four children are born to unmarried mothers, but Icelanders explain that usually just the first child born out of wedlock.” As a teacher it is fun in school, when you ask the first grade about their parents and siblings, it can take an hour to get some family ties sorted and in the end the teacher probably features in that family tree as well.
“The place to meet people, however, is at a thermal pool. There are many of these, too. One public bath, just outside Reykjavik boasts not only a luxurious Olympic-sized pool, but also five hot tubs offering different temperatures, ranging from warm to scalding.” My dad goes to one of these thermal pools every day and stews for an hour or so, although he claims to go swimming 😉 It is the place where politics are discussed, foreign people interrogated and arrangements for the next party are made.
“The standard of living is among the highest in the world with a per capita income of US$ 30,575 (2000). Life expectancy rivals that of Japan despite being a nation of drinkers and meat eaters. One of the safest countries in the world, Iceland has a crime rate that is so low the police don’t carry guns.” I remember an article when I came here years ago. The headline in the newspaper was that attempted rape occurred last night. But somehow the girl talked the offender out of it after 10 minutes and they spent the rest of the night talking about their joys and sorrows somewhere on a bench in mid-town Reykjavik.
I would be very interested in some facts about your country or State that not everybody might know. Maybe a famous writer, sportsman or teacup-shaped house?
Let´s share!
~teh Penguin~
Central Snark 