Central Snark


Women, Take Heed! by Snuppy
Thursday, 31 August 2006, 7:59am
Filed under: cracks us up

AS you know, we’re a pretty cheap date, because we’re very easy to entertain. Especially since we’ll laugh at just about anything. That said, we’re hard-pressed to think you won’t spray your own computer screens with whatever it is that you’re in the process of sipping and/or eating if you watch THIS* while doing so. You know, we always wondered why women think differently from men. Now we know. Or we think we do. At least we thought we did before we started thinking about…kittens.

UNFORTUNATELY, those kittens kept us from noticing the fact that today, 31 August 2006, is BLOGDAY. What, you ask, is BlogDay? We aren’t sure, but we seem to remember reading something about it being a way to link bloggers from all over the world, in order to help spread the Bloggy Love. Gee. Bloggers from all over the world? Like Spain? And Iceland? The Enchanted Wonderland? California? CANADA?? Hmmmm. Where-oh-where (or is that how-oh-how?) would we ever find folks from fascinating places like that? (Many Thanks to our favorite Cuban in Tennessee, PAVEL, for this link!)

*BY the way, once again we snatched the above video right out from under the nose of our Bloggoddess, SWEETNEY.COM. We don’t know what the hell we’re gonna do if she ever finds out how much material we steal borrow from her. We’re pretty sure she could totally kick our collective asses if she felt like it, so we’re kind of hoping she never finds out.

~ snuppy 

Advertisements


Oh How I Love Thee! by Snuppy
Wednesday, 30 August 2006, 5:33am
Filed under: BoheMia Rhaps

I am in LOVE with this woman! LOVE I SAY!

Watch why!

Jocelyn, I’ll be yo bitch FO SHO!

How’s that for a post?

Now, whose bitch would you be? Where the lovin’ at and for whom or for what? Hmmm? No specific thread here… can be movies, TV, actors, writers, crushes, memories of… come on! Could this be any easier? NOW DISH!

And with that,

BoheMia OUT!



Existentialism by Snuppy
Tuesday, 29 August 2006, 7:12am
Filed under: Teh Penguin

Got you! That woke you up, didn’t it?!
But don’t worry, fancy words are not always frigtening. They just masquarede with many sylables and odd looking suffixes. Just to scare you!

I thought today we would try to get to know each other a bit better. Don’t worry, I am not gonna ask for the colour of your underwear-mine has a picture of Snoopy on it by the way. As I was lying yesterday on my couch, thinking about stuff-sometimes I get that way on Mondays between 3 and 3.30- I was thinking about a most defining moment in my life. A move that definately had a direction to it. Something that if you wouldn’t have taken it, you´d be somewhere else rigth now. Those moments can have been good or bad.

Existentialism

Mine was good!

I was 19. Just finished school and had no clue what to do with my life. I still don’t know, but I feel closer to the right ending than I ever did back then. Somehow I had gotten wind of a working postion with an autistic boy in a country I couldn´t even point to on a map. I accepted and found myself at the airport. Check-in. I never had been on a plane before. I was terrified of what lay ahead of me. As they where asking for my boarding card I held tightly on to it. And that was my moment. I had to make a choice, right there. I think it only took 30 seconds or something, but it felt like hours. My past flashed through my brain, my future a blurr and 30 seconds later I handed them my boarding card with A SMILE! I knew it was the right choice. There is such a thing as good scared. Somebody once told me there is no right or wrong, there are just consequences of your actions.
I have no problem taking responsibility for that boarding ticket incident.
It brought me everything I always knew I deserved to have!

Now: you guys! Can you think back to a similar incident, that made you stop for a sec and contemplate and than a decision demanded your attention. I know we are trying to be anonymous around the bloggoverse, so just roughly will do fine 🙂
Thinking caps on, everybody…it is Tuesday, not Monday…so there is no excuse!

~teh penguin~



Stop the Mundanity! by Snuppy
Monday, 28 August 2006, 8:41am
Filed under: happy happy

WELL lookey here, if it isn’t Monday again. Don’t you just hate the way the weekends fly by without so much as a hey-nonny-nonny or a ho-ho-ho? Us too.

THAT SAID, we accept our boring inclinations, because we don’t have the energy to do anything about it. That’s right, we’re content to embrace our boring ways, dammit. Still, we wouldn’t mind being boring quite so much if we could be boring AND funny, like THIS GUY. This link is to his first episode of sublimely hum-drum life in the next-to-the-last lane, but if you’re already familiar with his work, JERRY has a new(ish) episode, about his not-so-very-exciting-but-lame trip to Gettysburg, PA. (there have been a total of 8 episodes, which you’ll find on the main page of his Vlog)

IN case any of you wondered, It’sJerryTime has been around for less than a year, but his Vlog has already garnered some nice awards, not to mention impressive buzz. According to The St. Petersberg Times, it’s “Pure entertainment…a collection of weird, but incredibly funny, tales of a sad sack who trudges through life.” The Boston Globe calls it “Brilliantly Mundade”. And, finally, I Come of Reykjavik sings it’s praises by saying “Animeita vídjóblogg eftir einhvern gaur. etta er frábær snilld. Hann er svo óttalega næs og…og…óheppinn og yndislegur. Bara tvær færslur komnar, en meira á leiinni.”

WHAT more could you ask for? More links? More jokes? More tales of “what we didn’t do for fun over the weekend”? What part of “we’re content to embrace our boring ways” didn’t you understand?

~ snuppy



Weekending by Snuppy
Saturday, 26 August 2006, 9:02am
Filed under: cracks us up

*Oh sure, we could do a new post today, but why bother? Clearly many of you Snarksters are off doing something (anything) besides hanging out in the Blogosphere. Don’t worry about us being stuck at home on a crappy rainy Sunday morning… we’ll be fine. Just fine. You just keep having fun. We’ll just keep being pathetic.

*   *   *   *   * 

IS it possible this is really the last weekend in August? Holy cow, how did that happen? Where-oh-where did our summer go? We’re shocked. Shocked, we tell you, SHOCKED!

OKAY, so some of us actually spent a month or so in Germany, some of us already live in the oh-so-glamorous country of Spain, and some of us will soon be heading out for a fab family trip to a sandy beach along the Atlantic shoreline. Then there are those of us who’ve been satisfied to sit at home, week after week after week, eating Mexican food and watching the weeds grow in the front lawn.

WELL, maybe we did a few interesting things. But, for the most part, we just hung around and tried to avoid thinking about anything too ponderous, as we tend to get headaches. That said, we’ve been trying to pay attention to current event as much as humanly possible, but only in ways we find AMUSING. Or ENTERTAINING. Or flat out  FUNNY. Or flat out FUNNY *and* ENTERTAINING. Because A) we really like to laugh, and B) that’s the kind of shallow non-serious thinking people we are.

BUT hey, at least we didn’t waste time watching THIS crap. Okay, maybe we did glance at one or two of these, but no matter how funny and/or entertaining it was, watching an entire show about crummy commercials would have been incredibly sad, not to mention pathetic. Even we have limits.

~ snuppy



A joke -to lighten the mood! by Snuppy
Friday, 25 August 2006, 7:00am
Filed under: cracks us up, Teh Penguin

‘Cause it is Friday and it is time for us to laugh and enjoy the rest of the week! Also, the painkillers have affected the synaptic transmitting of my two remaining neurons…and therefore copy/paste is the only thing I am capable of this morning.

here we go:

“Knowing American History

It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, “Lets begin by reviewing some American history. “Who said Give me Liberty, or give me Death?”

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. “Patrick Henry, 1775.”

“Very good!” said the teacher. “Now, who said, Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?”

Again, no response except from Pedro: “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”

The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!”

She heard a loud whisper: “Screw the Mexicans!”

“Who said that?” she demanded.

Pedro put his hand up. “Jim Bowie, 1836.”

At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.” The teacher glared and asked, “All right! Now, who said that?”

Again, Pedro answered, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”

Now furious, another student yelled, “Oh yeah? Suck this!”

Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, “Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”

Now, with almost a mob-hysteria, the teacher said, “If you say anything else, I´ll kill you!”

Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, “Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001.”

The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, “Oh shit, we´re in BIG trouble now!”

Pedro whispered, “Saddam Hussein, 2003.”

Finally, someone threw an eraser at Pedro and another student shouted, “Duck”!

The teacher, just waking up and still a bit out of it, asked “Who said that?

Pedro: “Dick Cheney 2006!””

Now: for today´s question: If you realize that you don’ t know something, but everyone else seems to know what is going on…do you make a point of asking, do you laugh along or do you remain silent?

In the spirit of that, who the heck is Gary Condit and Chandra Levy?

Thought I throw in one for good meassure:

“A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”

Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let´s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she´s the administrator of the money, so well call her the Government. We´re here to take care of your needs, so we´ll call you the people. The nanny, we´ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, well call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,”

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents´ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny´s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.””

If you have read either one before, you are way too much on the internet!

~teh Penguin~



By Jove… by Snuppy
Thursday, 24 August 2006, 8:01am
Filed under: friends

THURSDAY already? Wowie… time flies when you’re having fun* and/or not laying in bed with a bum foot.

WE figured it might be nice to keep the Snark post short today, for there are many goings-on … er… um… going on around the Blogosphere. So, in our continued efforts to cheer up Teh PENGUIN (and all the rest of you and/or us who are ailing in some way, shape, and/or form) our question is a simple one:

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE STUCK AT HOME, AILING IN SOME WAY, SHAPE AND/OR FORM?

SOME of us lay on the couch and watch waaaaay too much TV. Some of us sleep. Some of us drag ourselves to the computer in order to live vicariously through the rest of you via blogs. Yep, some of us are just that pathetic desperate interested in finding some means for entertaining our pathetic desperate naturally curious selves.

OH YEAH, and if you’re one of those freaks people who rarely takes a day off due to illness and/or the occasional broken bone, we want to know what the hell’s wrong with you YOU’RE doing to cheer us up?

*SPEAKING of flying time and having fun while it does so… today the LAMPSHADE LADY celebrates an impressive/important blogging landmark, 90 days on the Blogosphere wagon! She’s handing out balloons at the door, but only while supplies last. Congratulations Gina!! And thank you for casting your bright and beautiful light in our general direction.

~ snuppy