Central Snark

This Only? This Only? * by Snuppy
Saturday, 12 August 2006, 9:11am
Filed under: cracks us up

 WHAT to do? What to do? What to do? Once again the weekend is upon us and we’re scratching our collective heads trying to come up with something to entertain you, our friends, here in the Chez Snarque Parque. So many choices, so little desire to spend a great deal of energy rounding up shit time.

With the help of our “handy dandy” AltaVista BABEL FISH TRANSLATOR, we wondered if it would be easier to think about this in FRENCH:

CE QUE? Ce que? Ce que? De nouveau le week-end est sur nous et nous rayons nos têtes collectives essayant de proposer quelque chose vous amuser, nos amis, ici dans Chez Snarque Parque… MERDE SAINTE!

Then we remembered we don’t speak French. So we translated from French to SPANISH:

¿CLO QUE? ¿Lo que? ¿Lo que? De nuevo el fin de semana está sobre nosotros y rayos nuestras cabezas colectivas que intentan proponer algo que les divirtiera, nuestros amigos, aquí en en Snarque nos parquean. Tanto elecciones… ¡CRAP SANTO!

We liked trying Spanish, but it was still confusing, so we started to think English really was the way to go, and we translated back, but were suddenly struck with the thought “what about GERMAN?”:

CLO DAS? Was? Was? Wieder ist das Wochenende auf uns und rays unsere Kollektivköpfe, die versuchen, etwas, das zu ihnen…HEILIGER MIST!

Apparently we can’t speak and/or think in German, at all. So we translated back to English. But that still looked boring. Not to mention odd. Next we tried ITALIAN, wich was not at all boring, but incomprehendible (for some of us). So we headed back to English, but then took a RUSSIAN detour:

EEC ТОЛЬКО? Это только? Это только? … СВЯТЕЙШАЯ ГРЕЧИХА!

“СВЯТЕЙШАЯ ГРЕЧИХА!” indeed. Russian was a complete and total disaster. We raced back to ENGLISH as fast as our little fingers would take us, and that’s where we stayed:

EEC ONLY? This only? This only? The fine week on us anchors and leaves it towards outside and rays our general heads, which attempt, in order to propose something you, to amuse our friends here inside with Snarque Parquean. To spend so much selection therefore a few requirements are much time, wish, is much energy, that circle upward shit ascending the circle to spend the time.

“To amuse our friends here inside with Snarque Parquean.”  That’s what we’re trying to do. Which is why we decided to give up all pretenses of having something clever to say in any language and, instead, decided to offer THIS video, (think “bowling with puppies“) in hopes it serves to amuse and/or ascend everyone’s circle to spend the time.

* FROM THE: “What are the Odds?” files… the first part of this post was written last night, before any of us had a chance to read DOUG’S STORY. How weird is that?

~ snuppy


27 Comments so far
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Hi ya’ll! Man this place looks different than the last time I was here.

Sorry for the quick hi and bye. But gotta go!

Comment by Ride'Em Cowgirl

well “hi & bye” to you, too, Ride ‘Em Cowgirlfriend!! we’ve been missing you!! and yes… the lovely BoheMian gave the park a bit of an “urban” make-over! hope you can find your way back over here soon!! xox (snuppy)

Comment by One Hot Puppy

The Pug bowling was pretty funny. I did that with my cat not too long ago. The kids loved watching the video!

Comment by Pavel Cubano

Very funny…but maybe not as funny as thinking about how those two guys came up with the idea and then clearly spent a fair amount of time putting it together.

“What did you do today honey?”
“Uh, well, me and a friend did this, uh, Pug bowling video.” ”
Oh, that’s nice.”

Comment by BoBo

Bobo, why do i imagine our OWN sons having a conversation like that one day?? and how much did you LOVE the song? that may have been the best part about this video. okay, the little Pug sliding into the plastic pins is the best part, but the song runs a close second! xox

i’m really glad you’re kids enjoyed this, Pavel! xox

Comment by snuppy

Morning everyone!! The Russian was ok, but the grammar sucked. 🙂 I’ll be sure to write babelfish a note and I am SURE they will fix that. 🙂 We’ll I’m off to make blue berry pancakes for my dear family THEN its time to go for soy chai!

Comment by cj

Yep CJ… so it did in French and in Spanish but that is the point methinks! And what a brilliantly funny idea Snuppy! I was soo laughing my ass off at it all and the end result? Laughalicious FO SHO!

I have yet to open the video link… something may be up from my end and I have yet to view that or be able to read Doug’s latest story! Neither will come up! But I will keep on tryin’!

As for kids? I wanna ship mine off far, far away RIGHT NOW! I hate the word Mami and if I hear it one more time someone will get shot! SHOT I SAY!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

*wakes up on floor*
*pulls album cover off face where it has cemented itself with dried spit*
*looks around groggily*

*wanders off in search of protein, trailing blanket*

Comment by FirstNations

*GASPETTY GASP* FN! You were still out? Dios mio!

Here, sit down, have some fresh juice, freshly baked muffins, take a shower and if that still doesn’t help, well, here’s a shot of tequila! Ooooweee!

Come on now? What’s your poison sistah?

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

CJ: CYM is right… the best (funniest?) part of the BabelFish Translator is that it’s off in subtle and not so subtle ways! i think it’s safe to use for simple translations, but overall, something gets lost in the … er… um… translation! i actually spent hours going from one language to the next until it was a veritable verbal jambalaya, which meant, as our beautiful BoheMian knows (you saw it last night, right?), it was quite a bit longer… but i figured you guys would take one look and run away! still, it’s fun to play. (maybe we should take some of those Shakespearean Insults and plug ’em in?) blueberry pancakes? count me in! xox

and CYM!! for some reason i think many people are having problems with the link at WA … but i don’t know why you having trouble with the “pug bowling” video. i hope you can see it later… then show it to your kids & tell them this is what you’re gonna do with them if they don’t settle down! xox

Comment by snuppy

FN: as soon as i stop laughing i’ll find you something clean to wear. i like your hair, by the way… that unkempt, tousled Rastafari thing works for you! xox

Comment by snuppy

I was grinning over the video but FN had me howling!!

So many clevah people in here. Just woke up. 11:30 am. I was TIRED! Up late last night IMing best friend until 2 am. Add alcohol the mix and LBP is just zonked.


Comment by Little Blue Pill

Ha, ha, ha, haaaa! Finally saw it! And yeah, the kids paid attention for a little bit but having a family of performers they were more interested in dancing away to the music! As is, I have it playing in the background and they are still dancing!


Getting them off to bed will be a hard one to pull off right now but there I go! Anyone want some cute, dancin’ kids? Hmmm?


Oh well!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Donde esta todo el mundo? ESTOY SOLA!!!

(Meaning: Where is everybody? I AM ALONE!!!)

Translation: Where this everybody? I AM SINGLE!


Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Now let us get a little naughty…

I wrote:

El sexo es algo que hay que saborear. Seguro! Chupa, chupa! Que rico!

Oye amor mio! Bailemos el tango desnudo!

Si bebe si! Mueve esas caderas!

(This means: Sex is something one must savour. For sure! Suck, suck! Tasty!

Listen love of mine! Let us dance the naked tango!

Yeah baby yeah! Move those hips!)

Translation: Sex is something that there is to savor. Surely!

It absorbs, absorbs! That rich!

Mio hears love! Let us dance the naked tango!

If it drinks if! It moves those hips!

Ha, ha, ha, haaaaa! Ok! No more playing and off I go to see if I can get over this writer’s block! Ay! Plus, I am starting to feel like quite the loser all by my lonesome!

*sniff, sniff* 😉

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

🙂 The blue berry pancakes were awesome. Its fun to make them and Thea and Nina eat them up pretty quickly. Today is painting day at our house – I’m painting the little girls bathroom alpine strawberry and chocolate!

Have a great afternoon everyone!

Comment by cj

rofl! That was good, Miz Bohemia! I’ve had hours of fun with those machine translations!

Comment by Pavel Cubano

perhaps we should all take a peek outside tonight in order to enjoy the fabulous meteor shower in the skies! (they say tonite is the best night to watch)

in French:

peut-être nous devrions tout prendre un extérieur de coup d’oeil ce soir afin d’apprécier la douche fabuleuse de météore dans les cieux ! (ils disent que le tonite est la meilleure nuit à observer)

French to Italian:

forse dovremmo tutto prendere un esterno di colpo d’occhio questa sera per apprezzare la doccia favolosa di meteora nei cieli! (dicono che tonite è la migliore notte da osservare)

Italian to English:

perhaps we would have all to take to an outside of eye blow this evening in order to appreciate the fabulous meteor shower in skies! (they say that tonite it is the best night to observe)

to Spanish:

¡quizás tendríamos todos a llevar un exterior del soplo del ojo esta tarde para apreciar la ducha fabulosa del meteorito en cielos! (dicen que el tonite él es la mejor noche a observar)

back to French:

nous aurions peut-être tous à porter un extérieur de l’haleine de l’oeil cet après-midi pour apprécier la douche fabuleuse de la météorite dans des cieux ! (il disent que le tonite est la meilleure nuit à observer)

and back to English:

we would have all to perhaps carry an outside of the breath of the eye this afternoon to appreciate the fabulous shower of the meteorite in skies! (he say that the tonite is the best night to be observed)

whaddaya’ll think? (actually, the meteor shower aka The Perseid, is supposed to be amazing) xox

Comment by snuppy

bouncing from English to French, Italian, Russian, back to French then to English, we get:

we would have all at end to possibly place except breathing of the eye this after midday it that one at end to appreciate the shower fabulous meteorite in the skies! (it that word that tonite he will be best the nocha, is that necessary to observe)

didn’t they talk about “breathing of the eye” in the Movie Bull Durham? xo

Comment by snuppy

For the Ever electric and effeverescent Miz B:

Dance the dance electric and shake your groove thing… ooh baby baby!! Fo Sho!

from Italian to French to German back to French to Spanish and finally back to English:

You dance dances electrically and vibrated your child of the child ooh to the thing of the groove…!! Fo Sho!

i’ll stop now… xoxo

Comment by snuppy

It absorbs! That’s funny. It absorbs me an egg, left, sister.

Yes we were surely on wavelong next to each other, single hot young dog!

Comment by Doug

Doug: certainly is the truth more misjudged that novel is not he, pleasant lord? xo

Comment by snuppy

Phew! All done! Almost 1 am so off to bed I go as I need to get up in about 5 hours! DIOS MIO!

Thank you for one fun-filled day, as always, dear Snuppy and fellow Snarksters!

Besos to all and to all buenas noches!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

My head is spinnign after that bit of German 🙂
The Russian was impressive though;)

Neither o fthese two languages have anything in common, except 7 similar looking letters…

Comment by Monika

women, you are too funny. once an American friend of mine translated his letter into Hungarian with a translater program, I almost pissed my pants while reading. happilly, he sent the original, too, so I knew what he wrote.

Comment by ariel

Oh my god! How could I forget? My famous friend Inna, the Russian girl I have blogged about, once wrote me an email that she used a translator program turning it into English from her native Russian… she did this as she had a complex about her broken English… I have it stored away somewhere and I could not understand a DAMN word! NOT ONE! NOT ONE IDEA OR SENTENCE!


To this day it remains a damn mystery! Oh well!

Ariel, thanks for jogging my memory!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

And hermano, you got yoself some spunky funk! FO SHO!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

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