‘Cause it is Friday and it is time for us to laugh and enjoy the rest of the week! Also, the painkillers have affected the synaptic transmitting of my two remaining neurons…and therefore copy/paste is the only thing I am capable of this morning.
here we go:
“Knowing American History
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, “Lets begin by reviewing some American history. “Who said Give me Liberty, or give me Death?”
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. “Patrick Henry, 1775.”
“Very good!” said the teacher. “Now, who said, Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?”
Again, no response except from Pedro: “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”
The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!”
She heard a loud whisper: “Screw the Mexicans!”
“Who said that?” she demanded.
Pedro put his hand up. “Jim Bowie, 1836.”
At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.” The teacher glared and asked, “All right! Now, who said that?”
Again, Pedro answered, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”
Now furious, another student yelled, “Oh yeah? Suck this!”
Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, “Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”
Now, with almost a mob-hysteria, the teacher said, “If you say anything else, I´ll kill you!”
Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, “Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001.”
The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, “Oh shit, we´re in BIG trouble now!”
Pedro whispered, “Saddam Hussein, 2003.”
Finally, someone threw an eraser at Pedro and another student shouted, “Duck”!
The teacher, just waking up and still a bit out of it, asked “Who said that?
Pedro: “Dick Cheney 2006!””
Now: for today´s question: If you realize that you don’ t know something, but everyone else seems to know what is going on…do you make a point of asking, do you laugh along or do you remain silent?
In the spirit of that, who the heck is Gary Condit and Chandra Levy?
Thought I throw in one for good meassure:
“A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”
Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let´s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she´s the administrator of the money, so well call her the Government. We´re here to take care of your needs, so we´ll call you the people. The nanny, we´ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, well call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,”
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents´ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny´s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.””
If you have read either one before, you are way too much on the internet!
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