Central Snark


Men and Women by Snuppy
Saturday, 2 September 2006, 7:03am
Filed under: cracks us up, Sex, Ed?, Teh Penguin

WHEN teh clever Penguin puts up a post about Men, Women, and/or Can These Two “Immovable” Forces Co-exist in ANY Way That Makes Sense, who are we to limit the snarky musings to just one day? We’re pretty sure such a weighty and/or confusing topic requires the proper amont of time to ponder and/or comment upon, which is why we are perfectly content to let this fabulous post stay up for one more day! Not to mention the fact that we really wanted to sleep in. ~ snuppy

* * * * *

A girlfriend and I met two days ago and we got into chatting for hours. I did mention we were two girls meeting up right?

We had some red wine, a lovely meal in a pricy restaurant, truly enjoying the sights of spunky waiters aorund us.

And as two single girls we were sitting and wondering why it is that the both of us were…well sitting and wondering about life, when it seems that the rest of the female population our age was at home, preparing dinner, changing diapers and getting their husband´s slippers.

Now there we were when I asked Vida:

“Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about us?”

“Don´t know, we always send them on their way before we can find out!”

See what feminism has done to us?

In that spirit I stole borrowed these lovely reminders from the net:

“1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.

4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

5. There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman.

Before and after marriage.

6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

8. Any married man should forget his mistakes.

There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

9. A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance,

 

while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.”

 

And we smiled, had another sip of red wine and continued to take in the georgeous view!

“When shall we meet again?”

“Hmmm I have yoga class, dancing lessons, that course on Advacement in Business and my weekly spa … “I can do next Tuesday!”

post scriptum…these examples exclude present company. In particular Puppy and Bobo, who are just obnoxiously happy and one of them had birthday yesterday as well! Some people have everything, don’t they? *grins*

~teh Penguin~

Advertisements

28 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Penguin: what a GREAT POST!! first off… unmarriable? YOU?? i don’t think so! i’m guessing you’ve just been too smart to fall into that trap of thinking Mr. Wrong is, in fact, Mr. Right. i’ve done that, conversely, Joel’s done it with his wrong Ms. Right, too.

i’m laughing at that list… it cracks me up that such sexist thinking ever existed, for in the past (sadly, even now) a lot of folks thought such things were true. i think the trick is to let your marriage go to the dogs. or cats. or birds (whatever the case may be). if most couples treated each other with half the consideration/respect they’re willing to show their pets, i suspect the divorce rates would plummet. especially if most men would *also* stop being stupid — oh wait. did that sound sexist? hee hee! (fortunately, i’m blessed to be married to an enlightened, considerate, and patient human being, who decided early on not to let PMS be grounds for divorce!)

FABULOUS FODDER for DISCUSSION! honestly? i’m extremely happy to know you and your girlfriend have your priorities straight. take care of yourselves first and, trust me, the *rest* will follow!! xox

Comment by snuppy

I just love number 8! That made me laugh!

Comment by One Hot Puppy

so do i! but having just gotten up, i’m also laughing at #2 because it’s true! sad… but true! (a shower is in my future… sooner as opposed to later!) i’m embarrassed to note that #3 applies, too… only for me it would be “pays $3 for a $2 item she doesn’t need.” at least that used to be me… this is where #8 comes in handy! xox

Comment by snuppy

wise list, cracked me up badly! (9# tells the exact truth.)

Comment by ariel

snuppy, I have seen your picture and number 2 does not apply, I am pretty sure. Joel?
And well, number 3 applies to most of us females doesn´t it? I can´t haggle…

Comment by Penguin

ariel, we cross-posted and I am seriously glad to see you here this morning. Glad we made you laugh. Fresh toast, orange juice? Anything you want…we´ll send teh bill to G, sincce she´s not here!

Comment by Penguin

i think picking up the tab is the *least* the LampLady can do, after abandoning us all week! of course, she’s had to put up with a lot of crummy weather, (it’s been raining quite a lot and will continue through today) so i hope she brought along lots of hot cocolate and a few good DVD’s, cuz i’m guessing she’ll need both!

*pours herself a cup of steaming coffee and bites into a piece of toast* yum! xox

and yay! it’s lovely to see Ariel here!! xox

Comment by snuppy

🙂 Oh Penguin great post!! Although I highly doubt that you are unmarriable! My mom used to tell me that men were like busses and if you missed the first one another would come along at its scheduled time. *LOL* How’s that for advice? Also, I would point out that in dating and marriage we need to strive for quality and not quanity and that is certainly what your doing – just looking for a quality kind of guy.

I don’t know some of those things on the list had some truths to them. I know I could see some of myself in a few of them. 🙂

Have a good day everyone!

Comment by cj

Ooooh! Juicy! Let me delve in oh Ice Queen!

1) Sexist FO SHO! More often than not, the high earner, whomever that may be and often regardless of gender, has his/her partner to thank for the success! Dios mio!

2) Hmph! Why do men get to be low maintenance in every way dammit!!!

3) Loverboy tends to do $1 for $2 items whereas I would manage $0.50 for a $2 item…

4) Ha, ha, haaa! Nope! Totally the opposite here as far as who expected what! I changed on the self-destructive behavior and whatnot but we are both the same stubborn freaky nuts who fell in love with each other 9 years ago!

5) 🙂

6) Seriously now, WHO WROTE THIS??? Bohemians want to bitch slap the MAN they are sure wrote that! Hmphetty Hmph!

7) Hmmm… forget the understanding and love crap… if the marriage is good that’s a given… so go on and focus on the sex and sizzle it up! That should provide a smile or two I would say! 😉

8) Ha, ha, haaaa! Although my man being a Scorpio the forgetting sometimes doesn’t happen as during the moments of war Scorpios can be quite the stinging bastards! And don’t worry, I am not insulting the poor-hardworking-Loverboy-who-is-washing-the-car-as-I-type-away as I have told him that to his face quite a few times and he agrees wholeheartedly!

9) Here, that one is RIGHT ON THE MONEY!!! Being OCDish, I NEED to have the last word and he has learned that if that does not happen peace will not be attainable in the land o’ bohemia! THIS ONE I DECLARE AS A TRUTH TO LIVE BY! FO SHO!

10) Not here! The best “wedding” out of the 4 we had was when we were alone in our SF apartment, Jewish judge at hand, Lil’ B watching TV while Lil’ M who was a baby, napped away… no one else in attendance! The whole wedding thing and the ceremony and the like has always given me the creeps! I have done it and loved it only because I was in it with Loverboy but the whole concept and the fact that I had to do it was UGH! I looked forward to the marriage bit…

Great list Minkalicious Queen! Bohemians had a fun time with this FO SHO! FO SHO!!!

Ooooh! How about you do a rundown and let us know where you stand? *hint, hint* Yeah, I ain’t the big sistah for nothing! Homework little one! Homework! 😉

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Unmarriable? YOU? Now THAT is a funny concept! Hey, if I found someone great and crazy enough to wanna marry me BELIEVE me when I tell you it can be done!

And buenos dias Snuppy! An email has been sent to you (more homework! OH DIOS MIO!) with muchos besos y amor! FO SHO!

OK! The kids are killing each other and driving me crazy so, unfortunately, off I go! This bites!

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Dammit! That was me! My comment posted twice and yeah, OCD has a way of wanting me to clean everything in sight so in I went!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

This list is very funny but obviously meant for women only because if you wanted men to remember it, you’d use roman numerals like the Super Bowl.

Comment by Walela

not to sound smug…more to sound like what i am which is strange….
none of this applies to my husband and i.
we’re going on 20 years this nov.
we started out complete opposites who were buddies…and now we’ve melded into a kind of a strange hippiebiker clump of crud. like on the bottom of the oven, only paisley.

everybody: Minka has been made an honorary member of the Imaginary Flatbutt Tribe. thought i’d letcha know!

Comment by FirstNations

Hey! I want in on the Imaginary Flatbutt Tribe! In the third grade I told this guy I liked that even though I liked him he’d better not try anything because I was not in on kiss catch cause I would be damned, DAMNED, if anyone kissed me! Then a boy called Bali thought I was bluffing and ran to kiss me. I was wearing girly shoes I hated, with a pointed toe, wooden soled, and kicked him hard in the nuts. No one dared come close to me ever again! And Bali? He became my bitch as he kept all boys away, warning them of what was to come…

So, does that qualify me? I WANT IN TOO!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Where have all the people gone?

Comment by Rainy day BoBo

Ok…Miz B. as you asked I´ll have a little run down fo these thinsg applying to me 🙂

I)Bull. For teh most part, unfourtunately society is not quite there yet, but it will.

II)That is probably becuase usually drink more beer and donæt know what they drag into bed. beauty is in the eye of the Beerholder, I used to say! (of course there are exceptions to this rule…icelandic girls for starters:)

III)Don’t know about that. I donæt like clutter all that much and prefer clean surfaces in my apartment, although I have been known do by this elf-sculpture ´cause it was just so darn cute, and this little box (that can hold nothing) to brighten up my room.

IV)I think rather true. Women are optimistic and hopeful, yet delusional 🙂 Men…get used to it…gravity will enter the female body after a certain age.

V)*smile and nods head*

VI)Miz B…certainly a man that constructed this list…I hope he never meets me in a dark alley!

VII)a) you must love him more than anything else, accept that he becomes a baby when his temperature goes up two points and admire his manliness on a day to day basis.

VIII) cracks me up and most often true.

IX)universally accepted truth!

X)I have no clue…I live in iceland. Ask any guy about this: “Imagine a romantic evening!” he´d say…candles, a nice chic flick and wine.
I am not saying that is a bad thing in itself…it is lovely. But this is teh only scenario all ove rthis icecube!

Ok…
I also have to apologize for my absence, I started working today again. My foot hurts now and they send me an hour earlier home. But i got to go back to work! *throws arms in the air*

Comment by Penguin

catty yummy mummy: had you been wearing lemons on your feet instead of shoes at that critical moment you too would be a Flatbutt member. Now in order to qualify you have to do the Pony but you have to NEIGH LIKE A HORSE WHILE YOU DO IT.

Ha! Oh, ha! is so face of mine laugh and laugh!

You can too. Remember…no scalping unless theres a bounty being offered.

Comment by FirstNations

lol… Great post.

Okay, if a man says something in a forest and his wife isn’t there to hear it, is he still wrong?

Comment by Pavel Cubano

No scalping? What? WHAT? Are you going all soft on us now FN?

And had I used lemons there would have been no pain inflicted! But how about this? I have done the neighing bit and thrown lemons, to boot, at the testicular area of passersby, leaving them rolling on the floor with delightful PAIN!

Bwahahahahaaaaaa!

Ooooweeee! Me so grinny and smiley and laughalicious FO SHO! FOOOO SHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

It is Sunday morning and no post up yet?
snuppy…Joel´s birthday was two days ago…there is no excuse for hangover!
🙂
A lovely Sunday morning to all of you fine snarksters!
*puts apron away and distributes freshly bakes rolls, jam and stirred milk into butter all night.*

Comment by Penguin

Good morning everyone!! After I read this post I had the “Women and Men” song in my head that They Might Be Giants did long long ago!
When the ship runs out of ocean
And the vessel runs aground
Lands where we know the boat is found
Now theres nothing unexpected
About the water giving out
Lands not a word we have to shout.

Ohhh those college day memories!

Comment by cj

Oh dios mio! Sorry Penguin if I forgo the butter but I will most definitely have some of the pastries! I have brought over my staple Danish Apple Coconut Coffee Cake, 2 dozen muffins as well as fresh apple/carrot/orange juice mix! Ooooweee!

Snuppy my dear! You are sorely missed but here’s hoping to cleared up skies and a great and cozy run out for those TGSNWM musts!(did I get the abreviation right?)…

Hey CJ you reminiscing mama you! Want some fruit juice and some of Monika’s delightful rolls? Come one people and eat up! Funkified FO SHO!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

That sounds great Miz B! I would love some.

How have you been?

Comment by cj

Oh well thank you amiga mia! Remisniscing away myself these days! Maybe kids at home from school can do that to a mother! AY!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Nina starts school on Tuesday…. it will be a good change for her. She needs more activity – she is suffering from boredom. Thea starts her ballet year on the 11th and hopefully we’ll have most of the work around the house done when that starts. 🙂

Comment by cj

Penguin, thank you. The light just came on. Superbowl IX was a good one.

XI. If you give a man a list, everything past III will be forgotten.

Oh, and from A Prarie Home Companion: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need and a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Comment by Doug

Ha, ha,haaaa! ooooh so clever! Me laugh and laugh and laaaaaaaugh! FO SHO!

Oh! That’s me! CYM!

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Doug, I pretend I didn’t see that last comment of yours. Although…women have caught on 😉

Miz B. thanks for the lovely treats you brought around, they were lush!

Comment by Penguin




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s



%d bloggers like this: