Central Snark


Bugger! by Snuppy
Saturday, 9 September 2006, 7:27am
Filed under: Teh Penguin

So I typed a lovely post about 10 minutes ago and saved it and I can’t find it anymore.
Maybe it wasn´t that good and WordPress might have a secret screening process.
Anywho…I was just telling you guys that I have a long and tough day ahead of me…who signs up for a marathon in Icleand? I have lived here for 10 years, one should think I knew the temperament of our climate. But it is for a good cause and I don´t like to chicken out on stuff last minute. So I´ll be limping after all the ladies pushing prams, trying not to put too much pressure on my foot while the rain will beat down on me. The wind might carry me some of the way though. Always a silver lining!

I needed a bit if cheering me up, and I love bad puns. I really do! As snarksters go, I am easily amused, so I truly hope this works for you as well!

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He’s all right now.

Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.

How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, “Daddy, I want a new apartment.”

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
“Dam”.

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.

What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A stick.

What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka.
and what kind of lettuce?
Iceberg.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They’re trying to get away from the noise.

See? Stupid Easily amused!
I wish all you guys a wonderful weekend, safe returns for myself of course and feel free to leave punny lines in the comment section, I do love them!

Subordinate clauses made me spill some coffee 🙂

~teh Penguin~

Advertisements

21 Comments so far
Leave a comment

“Subordinate clauses” was good… but “Polaroid” was priceless! GREAT and hilarious way to start a weekend, dear and wonderful Penguin! (dear for doing this post in the first place and “wonderful” for doing a marathon for, what i can only assume to be, a worthy cause. otherwise i’m guessing you’d have blown it off, along with those winds that will hopefully be blowing at your backside to help you along the way! (i’ve actually run a couple of 1/2 marathons that featured some headwinds… not fun. not fun at all)

take care of your foot, and come back and tell us how it went!! xoxox

Comment by snuppy

oh yeah, WordPress ate one of my posts a couple of weeks ago. weird and more than a little annoying. i’m happy to see you were able to recover long enough to A)do another post, B) do another great post with jokes, no less!, C) do that marathon! xox

Comment by snuppy

I LOVE Polaroids. LOLOL!!! That was super good, Penguin 🙂

Good luck with the marathon. May penguin flippers travel fast and far!

GG x

Comment by good girl

Those were great! I especially like the way a rich girl changes a light bulb.

Comment by Pavel Cubano

I’m just having a hard time imagining a penguin in a marathon 🙂

You take care of that broken flipper!
thanks for the laugh, those puns were great.

*woof*

Comment by Casper

Well done working in subordinate clauses! I know that compounded your pleasure. Polaroids and pea soup were my favorites.

Some of those were pushing it a little, though, don’t you think?

Comment by Walela

I just thought of the one typepad censored. *shivers*

Comment by Walela

Many good ones here! Penguin…you’re participating in a marathon? With damaged flipper?

Comment by BoBo

What would you get if Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vadar?

Ella Vadar

What do you call a fish with a missing eye?

fsh

Oh and the boomerang/stick joke? I’m always telling that one. I’m so stupid easily amused too.

Comment by Little Blue Pill

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was asalted.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, “Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

* * * * * *

hahahahahahaha!! er…um…can we talk about being stupid easily amused?? xox

Comment by snuppy

Those were great Minka – gave me a huge smile. Hope you all are having a great day!

Comment by cj

Hey there Snuppy,

Thanks for inviting Dewy to this here park. I see some of my sisters of The Fresh Knickers Club here. *waves wildly* Hi Minka! Terrible puns. Hi Good Girl!!! Hi Little Blue Pill!!!

Oh! And Snuppy?? You are now in the club! Nothing naughty. 😉

So stop on by and flash those knickers.

DK xo

Comment by Keep your knickers humming

well thank you Dewy! and “nothing naughty” works nicely for me! 😉

hmmmm? Dewy? or Don’t We? only our hairdresser knows for sure! (sorry… today’s “bad pun/joke day”, you knew that, right!?!) 🙂

Comment by snuppy

Oh Snuppy,

Who said anything about Mr Scissors? All us “naughty” girls are always Dewy.;)

DK xo

Comment by Keep your Knickers Humming

Maybe we should send Mr. Scissors to the Snark for some new vict, er I mean clients.

Punny day in the Snark I see. And the Penguin is doing a marathon – do you mean a 26.4 mile “race”?!? I certainly hope not. How is that foot of yours coming along? You go grrrl!

Snuppy, I did like your little jokes above – I got nothing.

Comment by Lampshade Lady

Well everybody, thanks for playing along, being amused and worrying a bit about me. It is only healthy. I survived my running/walking and limping race quite well. Except that I was wet through and cold. It was worth it though…
I am gla dyou all had a laugh with these punny lines!
I´d like to thank the interent for endless suplies of whatever it is you might be looking for!

Comment by Monika

so? did it take you 2 days to run this marathon?? we’ve been worried out of our minds (no great stretch there, but still…)

was it a “run” a “walk” a “stroll”?? and what was the distance? the requisite 26.4 miles, or something shorter or–perish the thought–longer? (i once dated a guy who enjoyed running in ultramarathons (which are 50 to 100 miles long) and i ran 20 miles of it with him. never again. tho’ i want to run a marathon in Hawaii some day. with Bobo. and my sister… all i have to do is start training, which will happen any minute now. heh)

your puns were very… er… punny, and i agree with you, thank goodness for the wonderful internet, where we can find variations of any bad joke ever cracked by even worse comedians! (present company included) xox

Comment by snuppy

and by “present company included” i meant, of course, me!! xox (snuppy)

Comment by One Hot Puppy

that’s not the real avatar for this site… i was just playing around with a few pictures. (in case anyone wondered what the hell was going on!) xox (snuppy)

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Yes I wondered about the picture, change it! 🙂

It wa snot half as long and marathon it cnaæt be called either. Well, counting the weather into it…it was an ultramarathon of sorts.
I mostly walke dreally quickly…it was for teh red cross organization here and people were encouraged to participate…it was a lovely walk (whenever you come here I will walk Landmannalaugar with you!)but i am so exhausted, just got in.
See after I got back this evening, I went quickly to get my hair cut adn than I changed clothes and went to teh theatre and just returned home around midnight…I could fall asleep typing adn I don’t type well to begin with!
😉

Comment by Penguin

Penguin… i’m hoping you and/or CYM can find a picture you like better for that avatar (i thought the Uma Thurman pic might be nice, but i can’t get it to copy into my pictures folder). or we can take it out all together! because i am JUST that easy (just ask my husband).

and i, for one, am VERY HAPPY to know the walk/run/marathon went so well today. i KNEW it was for a good cause! to know you is to know you’re willing to sacrifice a wounded foot for the sake of someone else! now take care of YOURSELF, girlfriend! (i’m telling you, arnica montana is EXCELLENT for swelling and/or bruises). xoxo

Comment by snuppy




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s



%d bloggers like this: