Filed under: cracks us up
TRUST US when we tell you we wracked our brains last night in an attempt to come up with something to write for today, because, dammit, we did. Eventually, we had to go to bed, because our eyes were crossing from staring at a blank screen for so many hours. No, it wasn’t pretty. Yes, it was painful. Huh? Shut up, we have a life, it’s just that, from time to time, we set it aside for your blog reading pleasure, bub, so leave us alone and let us finish telling you what we’ve been trying to say since you first started scanning this one.
WE’RE tired. And when that happens, we can’t think. So we sometimes look to some of you for a little, shall we say, inspiration. Fortunately, we found some, but, before we tell you what we finally came up with, there are a couple of things we really need to get off our collective chests.
FIRST: the next time we come knocking on your blog, we’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t turn out the light and pretend as though you weren’t home. The recording of that dog barking didn’t fake us out, either. Nope, we’re on to you, and by golly, you need to knock it off.
SECOND: should you forget to lock your blog’s back door, and we just happen to turn the knob and it opens up wide enough to let us in, chances are pretty darn good we’ll take something. BIG RED JOY will soon understand exactly what we mean, since we stole her idea for featuring a skit by that genius British comedy duo, FRENCH & SAUNDERS, which we plan to share with the rest of you right after you tell us how sorry you are for pretending to be in bed when we stopped by and tapped on your blog windows. Don’t think we didn’t see you peeking out from behind the curtains, because we did.
ALRIGHTY THEN, there’s no way to adequately set up the following hilarious clip, except to say that, apparently, it’s based in large part on the British view of American retirement communities. Considering the fact that we used to live in South Florida, we can kind of see why.
WE’D like to point out that, while we’re featuring a FRENCH & SAUNDERS skit today, it’s not the skit we originally hoisted over our shoulders when we sprinted away from GINGAJOY‘s blog last night. We plan to give THAT ONE back to her as soon as we fix a tiny rip that must have happened when we hopped over the hedge, in an effort to beat a hasty retreat. Don’t kid yourselves, BIG RED may be heavy with child, but that girl can haul some serious ass when the mood — or need to recover stolen goods — strikes.
“Tell me something, Jennifer… if you castrated a Glow Worm, would it be delighted? Ha-ha-ha! And I mean that sincerely, folks.” ~ Dawn French
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