Central Snark


Election Day by Snuppy
Tuesday, 7 November 2006, 10:42am
Filed under: funny..., music music

The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them. ~Karl Marx

WE realize today’s only ELECTION DAY here in the United States, but hey, since that’s where some of us happen to live (those of us who aren’t in SPAIN and/or ICELAND) we believe it entitles us to a few things, including the right to discuss, for a moment, the State of our Union.

UNFORTUNATELY, we’re not in the mood to discuss the State of our Union. Mostly because, for the past few years, we’ve found the State of our Union somewhat depressing. Besides, the Snark wasn’t created in order to debate politics, it was created, in part, to make fun of politics, along with anything else deemed mock-worthy and/or muse-worthy on any given day. So relax, there’ll be no State of the Union talking-about here, folks. Not from us.

NONETHELESS, an election — even a mid-term election — does give rise to a few questions, even to superficial non-substantial-non-political-talking folks like us. Naturally, our questions arise on a much broader, more bizarre scale, because, in case you haven’t noticed, we really don’t like to push ourselves beyond the obvious and/or the funny. So our rather broad and/or bizarre (not to mention convenient) musing for today is this: Would we be so depressed about the State of this particular Union if we had leaders in Washington like Washington, i.e. George, i.e. the original GW? We don’t know about you, but it’s a contrived thought that boggles our fragile little minds even as we use it as an excuse to show the following clip.

[WARNING: In the spirit of full disclosure, we need to tell you there’s a bit of colorful “language” in this video. In the spirit of Freedom of Speech, we plan to show it to you anyway.]

OKAY. Now that’s a leader we can wrap our votes around. Someone who’ll kick ass, get the economy under control, help forge world peace, and save children? (although, apparently, not the British children) Sigh. They just don’t make ’em like that anymore, do they? No. They do not.

NATURALLY, we’d be remiss if we failed to thank our very good friend, DIESEL, for sending us this little gem of a video. Unless, of course, you all hated it — or found it offensive — in which case, it was all Diesel’s fault and that’s what we get for trying to be so attentive to one of our constituents.

~ snuppy

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50 Comments so far
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yowza! so sorry it took so long to get this post up today. especially since you may not think it was worth the wait. but who are you to judge? i mean, i’d like to see you write a post when your son sits in the room with you cracking dumb jokes and your dogs start yipping at the garbage guys as they drive up to the house. especially when you already have concentration “issues”. trust me, it ain’t easy, folks. but i try. because i care.

sorry. i didn’t mean that. WordPress was being a bitch again this morning, which was, needless to say, extremely frustrating… i suppose i’d be remiss (again) if i didn’t remind everyone to vote today, so VOTE, damn you, VOTE! VOTE as tho’ your very lives depended on it, for they very well may! and, yes, i’ll be doing just that myself, as soon as i can find that card telling me where i’m supposed to go. xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Yes, please vote today!

My latest bumpersticker…

If you’re not outraged, you probably voted for Bush. Twice.

Comment by canine karen

That was delightfully wrong!

Comment by BoBo

WashingTON WashingTON – I’d vote for him, and although I laughed about his selective saving of children, I hope that would not be his stance. Really. On a sidenote, I saw something recently that indicated GW’s portrait really wasn’t a good likeness and that he was actually a bit better looking. Call me shallow, but I think that’s noteworthy and we should go about painting him in a more flattering light in keeping with modern day politics.

I will vote after work – not that it will make a difference because the races are pretty much sewn up in New York and in the direction that I would vote, but I will vote nonetheless. I hope for good results for the country I will say that – some very close races out there.

That was a good one Diesel – so wrong indeed Bobo.

Should we run elections in The Snark today? Let’s vote for who should do the latte run – I say Diesel – new kid on the block.

Comment by Lampshade Lady

Well I took a chance and watched the video. Thea was standing next to me after the music started. She turns and looks at me and says “They said fuck?! Does their mom know?” 🙂

Its windy here in Minnesota today. I hear the winds of change coming.

😛

Comment by cj

Ambrose Bierce wrote his The Prattler column in 1884: “Observe that frmo the period of colonial federation there hath been no disruption of this sequence: a ballot-box, a judge of election, a stuffing of the ballet-box by the judge of election. Such is the natural, fore-appointed order of events to the evolution of freedom and popular government, whose genesis cannot be otherwise wrought. For the ballot box cannot stuff the judge of election.”

So it was and still is, 112 years later.

Comment by Walela

I think I’m really beginning to like this Ambrose Bierce guy.

Comment by Lampshade Lady

Canine Karen: i’ve seen that bumpersticker, and i like it! (and yes… i believe we’ll all be voting at some point today) xox

Bobo: i thought you’d approve. so wrong and yet so freaking funny, no? of course, one of my humongous mistakes this morning was showing it to our son, who then wouldn’t leave me alone so i could finish the post. oy. i guess it didn’t help that The Daily Show was on at the time. sigh. xoxoxo

Lampsha: yep… those poor poor British children. of course, maybe ol’ George knew something we don’t… i mean, the guy had, like, 4 sets of balls and, like, 30 dicks, not to mention TWO brains, right? (altho’, i was thinking while writing this morning about how hard it would be to “kick ass” when at least 4 of those penises were on his foot. poor guy. i suppose it’s a good thing he wasn’t Jewish.) xox

CJ: oops! should i have used stronger wording in that “language” alert??? xox

Walela: you know, i came thisclose to quoting your man this very morning, on the subject of “patriotism”. but the other quote just spoke to me, and so, against my better judgement (which we agree, is questionable, at best) i went with Marx. xox

LL: me too, except when he’s cranky. oh, wait, you meant the *real* Bierce, didn’t you? my bad. 🙂 xox

Comment by snuppy

Oy vay, to go threw that like 30 times!!! Nobody should know of such pain.

Comment by Lampshade Lady

my thoughts, exactly.

Comment by snuppy

Oh not at all Snuppy – she is a worldly gal at age 4. Dad spent many years in the Marines – its possible on occasion she has heard worse. I just got a kick out of it.

Comment by cj

well, “whew” to that, but please be sure to tell me if i don’t provide fair warning. we don’t mind being risque around here, but we do try to be somewhat appropriate (okay, so maybe we just try to avoid being tacky)

and i’m gonna guess you’ve already had the “okay, Thea, now i know you hear that word sometimes, but it’s not a word children use… and NEVER around gramdma or grandpa. never. ever.”?? i only ask, because i had a few of those with our kids as they were growing up. (for all the good it did) xox

Comment by snuppy

Man, I’ve seen this like 6 times now and I still laugh every time. I love how it gets more and more ridiculous and then they aren’t sure where to go with it so it just ends. Thanks for posting it so I didn’t have to. 😀

Comment by Diesel

Forgive my quick and short hop in to say hola and to go make dinner for the babies! The town has been flooded here and there… nothing major like true flood but enough for our car (the BMW of all things!) to get stuck… oh what a day! And all that after a morning out and a gruesome dental visit! WOOH!

BUT… I caught it on tape!!! YEAH! Not great footage… I need a cameraman dammit! I am always in trouble and half the time can’t film it… but good enough to get an idea of the adventure!

Sooo… not to talk about me but to explain why I have to run but I WILL be back to watch the video and catch up!

As for voting… my absentee ballot was sent in a while back… I am burned out on politics… am ashamed to admit that I was never the voting kind and had vowed to never vote… and then Newsom happened to SF and showed he cared and had balls and gave me hope and brought it home that I NEED to vote and now I will be damned if I don’t vote!

Oh Snuppy… oh witty and beautiful and wise Snuppy… gracias for such thought provoking words! Will be back later for the vid! Until then… besotes to one I love oh so mucho!!!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Haha – just reading MizCatyummy’s little update and laughed when she thanked you for the thought provoking words – I thought for a second she meant the video! Pfew, glad she cleared that up. Not that it didin’t provoke thoughts but sophomoric more readily comes to mind.

MizzyCattyummy: The videos are coming fast and furious – love it. They’re being played in the Lampshade Household instead of TV!

Comment by Is that a ballot under that lampshade?

Diesel: from the completely ridiculous premise to the exquisite absurdity of the ending, that video is brilliant! “a Mason ring and Schnauzer in his perfect hands”? “a wig for his wig”? “pocketful of horses”? “he once held an opponent’s wife’s hand… in a jar of … acid. at a … party”?? genius. i like it so much, i’m about to watch it again. xox

CYM: Dios mio, amiga! floods, stuck cars AND a trip to the dentist? i’m *so* sorry!! that said, i confess the first thought that ran through my mind as i read your comment was, “gee, this stuff would make for a GREAT video”… glad (and impressed) to know you were thinking the same thing!

speaking of videos, i’m hopin’ everyone’s had a look-see by now at your NEWEST EFFORT(S), which were oh-so-fun-and-highly entertaining!! you and Loverboy are pretty darn hilarious, if i do say so myself (which, apparently, i just did!) enjoy your evening, dearest BoheMia! xox

Comment by snuppy

Lampshadalicious Lady: hah! actually, i chuckled at that, too! i mean, the video provokes a lot silliness, but i’m afraid the post does, too. (methinks our little BoheMian was just being sweet and complimentary in her haste to say “hola”…) xox

Comment by snuppy

We have had similar talks Snuppy. Actually Erick’s dad lived with us during the end months of his cancer. One afternoon he was in quite a bit of pain and had some real colorful language – Thea was a bit over two and picked up some vocabulary. I remember the first time she dropped the F bomb. Her Grandpa felt so bad he taught her that – looking back on it, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. 🙂 I grew up in a house that occasionally had some colorful language – it was OK to use as long as it was used appropriately and as you mentioned not in front of the grandparents. 🙂

Comment by cj

…methinks our little BoheMian was just being sweet and complimentary in her haste to say “hola”…

EXCUSE ME??? Nope! Nope! NOPE! Because I read your words, albeit fast, and read past the humor, between the lines, added it to the fact that I know you and how you think and that you are a brilliant and intelligent woman and, immediately with my OCDish mind joined the soundbites together and voilá!!!

The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them. ~Karl Marx

A quote, yes, but YOU CHOSE that particular quote!

…we believe it entitles us to a few things, including the right to discuss, for a moment, the State of our Union.

…for the past few years, we’ve found the State of our Union somewhat depressing.

… NONETHELESS, an election — even a mid-term election — does give rise to a few questions…

Would we be so depressed about the State of this particular Union if we had leaders in Washington like Washington, i.e. George, i.e. the original GW? We don’t know about you, but it’s a contrived thought that boggles our fragile little minds…

SEE? And though I love you and the Lampshade and 99% of the time wanna hug and kiss y’all, this 1% moment right here I say… PFFFFFFTTTTT! Neener, neener, neener! The bohemian is NO WEINER and so ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE FABOO! FABOO FO SHO!

K-KISH BABY! K-KISH!

How’s that for an entrance? Funkified FO SHO!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Now you’re talking! 😉 xox ~ G

Comment by Is that a ballot under that lampshade?

Shameless Self Promotion Alert!!!!!

(said in casual “oh by the way” voice) Oh, almost forgot Snarksters, I did put up a new post today and I mention it only because my posting of late has been soooo sporadic I fear no one would know to visit…(voice breaks and is reduced to a whisper) and I’m just not sure my fagile ego could stand it if nobody stopped by.

My name is BoBo and I (shamelessly) approved of this message.

Comment by BoBo

CJ: i honestly believe that to “forbid” a kid to use such language is to ensure he/she will. and i think it’s charming that Thea was “exposed” to a few of those words by someone so special and completely agree… it shouldn’t have been any other way. i’d say you’ve got the foundation for some fine family story-telling down the road! xox

CYM: well, my dear dear BoheMian friend, you have me laughing so damn hard i can barely type! thank you thank you thank you!! you are too quick and too funny and i should have known better than to question your remark as being anything (anything, i tell you ANYTHING) but sincere. just one more reason I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, amiga!! gracias!! xox

Why Yes, That IS A Ballot Under That Lampshade: apparently i was mistaken. 😉 xox

Comment by snuppified, fo sho!

OH! I am glad you said so because I DID stop by and was met with the old post… Bohemians rejoice! FO SHO!!!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Stampede to Bobo’s!!! I may have to read tonight but oh, I will check in!

Comment by Is that a ballot under that lampshade?

Hey Snuppylicious woman! What be so funny? HUH? 😉

Glad it made you laugh and I JUST LOVE YOU VERY MUCHO!

Hey, bohemians have good taste! FO SHO! 🙂

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

There you go with those misplace priorities Lampy. “…may have to read tonight” as if anything could be more pressing at the moment. Harrumph!

Comment by BoBo

That was some video. So, then, how many did the guy have? Two, four, thirty?

Musta been thirty for him to be the father of the whole country.

Comment by Al

CYM: as long as *you* think so, dear friend! xox

Bobo: don’t you worry, honey, she’ll read. she ain’t my NBFF for nuthin’! xox

Al: yo, Al! (whom G and i have been calling “Al Anon”, but only because in our heads that’s hilarious) ’bout time you found your way over here, friend! and yep, that’s what we were thinking, too. how else to explain that whole “Father of our Country” thing? and, ya know, maybe that’s why he didn’t want to save those little British bastards, eh? glad you’re here, Al. if you had a blog (and why the hell *don’t* you?) you’d automatically be added to the sidebar. now, if *that’s* not an enticement to get started, i don’t know what is. xox

Comment by snuppy

i also enjoy the fact that ol’ GW starts out as 6 foot 8 (weighs a fucking ton), next he’s 6 foot 20 (killin’ for fun)… and finally, he’s 12 stories high. (must be why he’s so generously endowed)

Comment by snuppy

Snuppy, that was a fine quote. I used the definition of “Patriotism” on the fourth of July, I think. And Patriot the year before. I’m a bad American. I should be in office.

Comment by Walela

that was..
just, uh, wow

Comment by logo™

Back atcha Snupster: I honestly don’t know why it took me so long to wander over to CS, but I’m glad I did. Some fun! Love a good party.

Al Anon, huh? Something to talk about with my publicist. Anyhow, “Anon” isn’t all that far from “Cini” – and its very cool being on a first-name (handle?) basis with such marvelous smart-asses.

Thanks in advance for the sidebar entry. Some time after the holidays, about life (with pictures) in Lower Manhattan. Unless I come to my senses before then. 🙂

Comment by Al

Walela: well, then i’m really glad i elected to go with Marx. and i think you should stay put, we have enough “bad” Americans in office already, thank you very much. xox

logo™: just so you know, i took notes in case any of that Washington info appears on your next quiz! (blame Diesel, he made me post that video. that kid is such a big trouble-maker…) xox

woohoo! i just got off the phone with Bill Clinton! damn! i feel so honored to know he has MY number… please, don’t any of you tell Bobo, i wouldn’t want him to get jealous or anything. of course, Bill didn’t exactly ask for me by name, but it doesn’t matter, MY phone, HIS voice! he told me he was calling to make sure i voted, cuz *my* vote would make a difference. i believe he said “this is my biggest election, ever” (is he running for something i don’t know about?). golly, i feel so special. and not at all targeted by my fellow Democrats.

Comment by snuppy

This year, I got political endorsement phone calls from Alexander Hamilton, Elvis Presley, Teddy Roosevelt, and Frank Sinatra!

Sound strange? Not really, not in New Jersey, where the dead often vote for the deader still.

Comment by Al

Al: as one who’s been sober for almost 30 years, i can tell you there are far worse things in life than to be known as “Al Anon”. not that i would know, because i never attended meetings, but that’s beside the point. the point here is that there is no point. we’re just glad you showed up when you did… and we can’t wait for you to start your own blog, so we can go over there and harass (and/or harangue?) you on your own turf. Lower Manhattan, eh? how low would that be, again? (of course, anything past Grand Central Station would be considered “lower” Manhattan by my limited standards.) xox

Comment by snuppy

The dude had false teeth! Not only that but they were made of wood! I don’t care how good he is, would you vote for someone who has WOODEN TEETH?

You might as well vote for a ventriolquist dummy! Or a Democrat!

Diesel should be severly punished for this.

Comment by Dan

Call me anything you want, kiddo, as long as you call me.

I’m wrestling with the “How Low” thing now. I’m safe with Canal Street, but that leaves out SoHo and Little Italy. Houston street sorta works and solves that problem, but excludes the Village…

Shit, its a stretch, but downtown is everything south of 23rd. Done. Now, about the fonts… (Enough to drive me to drink. 🙂

And, Dan — you’re one of the first ’round these parts to slam the democrats and make it out alive. Well done!

Comment by Al

Dan: because i know you’re a friend of Diesel’s (who deserves to be thrashed now for more than that video, apparently) i’ll not respond to your not-so-subtle dig. this is a Politics-free zone. well, sort of. kind of. actually, i’m not sure any one around here cares to swear their allegiance to either party, so you’re safe, for now. just remember, as a result of your visit, you’ll be added to our side-bar, and don’t think we won’t use that against you if need be. xox

We’ll Call You Al: one of my best friends used to live near Broome Street, so i’ve actually been in that general area at least once. here’s a tip: never try walking in 90 degree temps from Broome Street to Times Square in uncomfortable shoes. (just sayin’…) i’m sure G knows her way around there better than i do… on the other hand, what were you saying about fonts?? xox

Comment by snuppy

by the way… Bobo was being sort of shameless earlier, but, by golly, not shameless enough for the likes of us. he has a NEW POST and a darn funny one, at that! (just thought everyone should know)

Comment by snuppy

Happy Election Day! wow, that was some wild video! The stuff of legends and maybe rumor, fersure.

Comment by actonbell

Al, what are are these pictures and downtown and mysterious musings of which you speak! Just start that damn blog of yours already and we’ll find it! I do love downtown Manhattan but don’t get to spend any time there of late. During my daughter’s illustrious career, we had to find many the downtown street that I didn’t even know existed – Great Jones Street – no prob – where the f.. is Great Jones Street?

And Snuppy say it isn’t so – in uncomfortable shoes no less?! No wonder you will only wear UGGS now!

Hey Dan, at least George’s wooden choppers would be helpful to hear him lying through them. For that alone, he’d get my vote…never mind the 30 or so penises.

Okay, I hope everyone voted regardless of for whom so that we can all go to sleep with visions of a better tomorrow or at least an illusion of one.

Comment by Lights on in the Voting Booth

LOL G Baby, that could be my first post! I looked it up. Great Jones street is, like, one block long, between Bowery and Lafayette, connecting East and West 3rd Street. Downtown’s full of twisty little passageways like that. Before Great Jones, my favorite was the intersection of William and William (yes, to the horror of the postman, there are two intersecting William streets), about a block from where I live. Gotta get off my ass, settle on those fonts, and get started.

And, to find a place like Great Jones street, comfortable shoes are a must. And steel-toed, if possible.

Comment by Al

Snuppy, who’s in charge here? A bunch of gals? That rules! 🙂 Are you the head gal or someone else? I want to speak to your manager!

I am outraged, outraged that you linked to my blog. This shall not stand. Indeed it shall not. As retaliation I have added a reciprocal link to this blog (if you can call it that) from my blog, so that I can keep an eye on this nefarious operation.

I’m not ashamed of this retaliatory behavior but there it is. 😉

Comment by Dan

Dan, we’ll be watching you watching us! So put up your links Baby!

See how I just jumped in there and answered (Snuppy’s watching the election returns I bet or she would have herself). She’s pretty much the headgal but we do a pretty good bait and switch among all us gals.

Now pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!

Comment by Lights on in the Voting Booth

Al – William and William you say, surprised I haven’t had to come across that one. Come on – don’t be so picky – what are you a gay gal like your wife 😉 Choose a font and get going man!!!

Comment by Lights on in the Voting Booth

…”she would have herself” somehow doesn’t sound well, correct, perhaps “she would have answered you herself”. D’oh you know what I mean!

Comment by Lights on in the Voting Booth

Lights on in the Voting Booth: and yet, “she would have herself” worked for me, NBFF! and, please set the record straight (heh — just remembered Al’s gay wife) and let that blog watching/linking/reciprocating/potential trouble making because he’s associated with Diesel *and* The Drive-by blogger (you thought we didn’t know, Dan, but we do, oh yes… we do.) uh… where was i? it doesn’t matter where i was, because right at this exact minute i’m watching Stephen Colbert call Warren Beatty on the Daily Show/Colbert Report Mid-Term Midtacular, and, well, it’s funny. probably more so if you could hear Colbert & Beatty chatting, and now i’m listening to Annette Benning ask Colbert if it’s live. it’s live… and it’s funny. really really funny. (if you’re not watching, none of this is funny, and i’m the only one laughing. if you are watching, you’re not reading this, so you don’t know how stupid i just sounded.)

yes. i believe i should go to bed…. but first! Lampsha, what i started to say roughly 12 sentences ago was: please! set the record straight and tell Dan Blah Blah and Call Me Al that this blog is, in fact, run by a “bunch of gals”, and that, sir, will be the first and last time it’s referred to as such (at least by me, since i can’t speak for the other “gals” who help keep this thing going, so if the other “gals” want to call themselves “gals”, so be it.) the end.

never heard of Great Jones *or* the corner of William and William, but if there’s a Starbuck’s around there, i’ll find it. xox

Comment by snuppy

Speaking of gals, there’s a Starbuck’s at the corner of Broad and Beaver. No lie.

Comment by Al

Say Goodnight Al.

Comment by Lights on in the Voting Booth

Hey, that was quite the video! Feel free to mock politics, we do it every day here in iceland with our two to three politicians who rule this ocuntry 🙂

Comment by Penguin




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