Central Snark


Thanksgiving by Snuppy
Wednesday, 22 November 2006, 8:59am
Filed under: happy happy, holidays

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.  ~George Burns

DESPITE widespread belief that Thanksgiving is the consummate “family bonding” holiday, our own experiences tell us the opposite is also true. Then again, it’s possible our own “experiences” have been tainted by our lack in all skills necessary to properly enjoy and/or conduct ourselves at the family dinner table. Damn our lack in skills! If only we’d had someone over the years to help guide us through the nuances of family dining etiquette, things might have turned out so different. Alas, we did not. You, on the other hand, do.

YES, dear friends, in order to prevent you from falling into the same awkward Thanksgiving “experience” abyss we did,  and/or to maximize everyone’s “holiday family bonding time”, we proudly present “A Date With Your Family” – a refresher course in manners, if you will. We think you’ll find it as useful as it is informative, and hopefully more than a little entertaining, since this particular video is served up with its own tasty running commentary.*

NOW, this is a family that really knows how to behave. Unfortunately, this is also a family that doesn’t exist anymore, as we hearkened back to the halcyon days of the 50’s once again for this one. It’s a good bet these folks ended up in therapy and crashed and burned within the following decade. Still, we’re convinced they were polite to each right up to the bitter end.

HEY, we like our family as a friend, too. Which means we’ll be willing to sit down and fake a few moments of graciousness and ceremony with ’em, if they’ll be willing to help with the dishes. That way we can all look back with much happiness, ensuring our family dinner will be something to remember all our days and/or until the next time Uncle Dick tries to pinch us on the ass.

*à la  MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER – 3000.

~A Lampsha/Snuppy Joint Production

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22 Comments so far
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as some of you have no doubt figured out by now, we’re addicted to these 50’s training videos… and were beside ourselves when we found this one. of course, as NBFF’s, we’re often “beside” ourselves, but that’s beside the point. we weren’t sure any of you would be familiar with Mystery Science Theater — 3000, but we decided we didn’t really care, since the commentary is pretty dang funny and it cracked us up. the link sheds light on the concept of that show (believe it or not, it actually won a Peabody Award in the 90’s, which is a BIG deal)… we also suspect one or two of you can share anecdotes to further enhance everyone’s knowledge (Diesel? we’re lookin at you, dude.)

by the way… it’s quite possible (and/or probable) this post will stay up through tomorrow — as our hands might be up the business end of a turkey in an attempt to prepare our for own little “family date”. not to worry — those of us who are vegetarians will be enjoying some fabulous butternut squash, potatoes, and corn. and then there’ll be pie. lots and lots of pie. but we digress, even as we salivate over thoughts of the upcoming meal. xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Still laughing! Is it bad that our family chose to skip dating? Actually, our “family dates” are more like drive bys…brief encounters when all parties are in the kitchen taking their share of the newly arrived pizza/chinese/mexican before returning to their own personal space…oh they’re breif encounters but no less meaningful.

Great post!

Comment by BoBo

Thanks for a nice black-and-white look back into the Ivory Soap Age. This must be where Old Man McDonald got the idea for the Happy Meal.

Comment by Al

Oh my! I am so glad I got to be a woman in the 21st century…I would have exploded. I really would!
The video was hilarious. Do you know who spoke teh interrupting voices???

Comment by Penguin

You know the favorite part of course (for me) is the MST guys’ running commentary. But then again, I was a big fan of the show. Surprise.

I would show my family this but since we’ve blown all the sterotypes already, why introduce civility at the dinner table?

Happy pre-Thanksgiving ay?

Hey, did I see Al gracing a guest post? Better go take a doubletake…

Comment by Lampy in a Poodle Skirt

BoBo: i still remember the first time we watched MST- 3000, do you? think 1992, post-Hurricane Andrew/Marco Island. that was some fun, eh? (speaking of “fun”, BoBo has a NEW POST up. just sayin’…) xoxo

Al: yep… propaganda was not lost on “the greatest generation” now, was it? and, by jove i think you’ve hit on something with regards to those Happy Meals! of course that’s where ol’ Ray Kroc came up with that idea. brilliant! (not unlike your guest post today on WA, i might add)xox

Penguin: the video is absolutely hilarious all by itself, but the comments to add a little “something”, don’t you agree? as for who they are, i stuck a link in to a website that explains the whole Mystery Science Theater 3000 concept. basically it was a show featuring those three lending their unique perspectives on a bunch of really terrible films. i’m not sure why this one was included, but, needless to say, we were very glad it was! xox

Lampy in a Poodle Skirt: my, don’t you look fetching today? hee hee. oh, and you can’t fool me, i know this is what all your family meals are like. in a parallel universe, that is. (ours, too) xox

Oh, and excuse me? is it a surprise to know you were a fan of MST-3000, NBFF? only if it’s a surprise to know that i was, too! 😉

Comment by saddle-shoe snuppy

Dammitall! It keeps getting stuck so no viewing it for me right now! But I have a feeling I know the gist of it and I can say that yeah, woman in the kitchen and housewifey type stuff is not the stuff I am made of… case in point, the birthday video at my place… who was in his rightful place in the kitchen? Why Loverboy of course! YEAH BABY YEAH! No cooking for me! WOOH!

We went grocery shopping today and I was walking by the aisle that housed grains and beans and the like… there were quite a few typical Spanish housewives there and I walked by, in my Nike running clothes (Loverboy have taken up walking together in the mornings and I am working my knees up to jogging strength), and just started laughing… they all thought I was nuts but I was just laughing because I would be lost there, not knowing what the hell to buy and then into the aisle walked Loverboy, so at home with the housewives, choosing away what it was we needed…

I know how to pick out the fruit and the veggie needs though! FO SHO!

OY…

And double OY to my probably talking outta my ass here! Gotta see the video dammit! But hey, I had to jump in and say hola, especially to you two faboo ladies who are just jazzing it up with these joint productions! I am lovin’ them FO SHO!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all and may it be a feast to remember (and a constipated bohemian’s wishes for a good cleansing… alway! Ha, ha, haaaa!) 😉

Besos to all!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Nah, I’m just being my usual sarcastic self so it would stand to reason that we were both fans of MST3K. Bobo has a post up? Well I’ll head over and while I do that you can head over to TALIMUFFIN and then we’ll meet in the roundhouse!
And might I say those saddle shoes are fab!

Comment by Lampy in a Poodle Skirt

MST3K – another great thing to come out of Minnesota. 🙂 Erick and I used to watch it every Saturday morning – before kids. I often think that soap operas should be shown in MST3K form – sure would make them better.

Joel, I am so glad to hear its not just us who has to do a family day drive by. We show up, bring food and treats, gifts for the kiddo’s….. we smile a lot, nod our head even more, and as soon as we see a clear view of the door we’re off! Twice we’ve been able to make it all the way back home before someone noticed! (this made me quite proud!) Its just not that much fun to hang out with a bunch of drunks.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! I am going to be baking pumpkin bread, and a few other fun things to bring over to my SIL’s tomorrow afternoon. And Joel, I say this just for you – between baking and taking care of kiddo’s I’ll be wrapping all my christmas gifts. Did I mention Joel I’m all done!! 🙂 buhahahahhahahahahhahahhahah This is a first. (And probabbly a last, God wouldn’t smile on this Norwegian that much in the same decade.)

Comment by cj

Oooh! Are we being unabashed at blog promotions? Well, I have a post up but no links to me nope… cause Lil’ BoheMia has a new post up and I would rather she be visited aaaaaand… Talimuffin and the Lil’ B will be doing a guest post on each other’s blog some day after Thanksgiving (the mamis that be need to gab about it you see) so STAY TUNED PEEPS!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

That movie is outrageous! I can’t believe they expect the dad to serve the food and the son to “play butler.” Don’t they know men have better things to do, like smoke and talk politics?

Man, that was funny. I miss MST3K. We got “MST3K: Mitchell” from Netflix a few weeks ago. Classic.

Hey, speaking of funny movies, check THIS out. Wow, that came out of nowhere!

Comment by Diesel

I love MST3K!!! lol… I can’t imagine a Thanksgiving that ever went that well. Nothing good ever comes out of a bunch of latin people who don’t REALLY like each other getting together under one roof and eating too much while consuming alcohol, let me tell ya.

First, there are the “little white lies.” The older generation, you know, the ones who actually lived in Cuba all start claiming that they own more acres than Cuba actually HAS and the 30 something and under croowd start comparing salaries. The grandmothers start complaining because someone didn’t touch their flan and it hurt their feelings. Then the 50 something crowd, the macho men, start pretending they’re young again and start playing some sport they really don’t need to be playing and end up in the emergency room on Thanksgiving day…

It’s not a pretty sight, but the food is good!

Comment by Pavel

Comida cubana! Yumm… que ganas tengo de probarlo! Any good veggie treats?

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

I don’t know, Yummy Mummy. Is Yuca a fruit or a vegetable? I saw salad on the table once, but I don’t think anybody touched it…

Comment by Pavel

Wow, I wish I could watch from here. Guess I have something to look forward to. While we’re on the subject, remind me: Which fork is for your brother’s eye?

Comment by Walela

CattYummy: I am cracking up as I so relate to being the one who participates but is certainly not the main cook of the household. What can I say, I grew up in the next decade or so from this flick where canned veggies were a staple. Oy vay! Big besos to you my dear amiga!

cj: You oddly funny Minnesotans – hats off to you! MST3K one of my faves! Actually, I think life should be in MST3K form and often is (in my head anyway).

EVERYBODY GO ON OVER AND SEE THE WONDROUS ARTWORK THAT IS THAT OF LIL B!!! You will try to purchase it – she’s that good. How’s that for promo?

Oh yes Stay Tuned: for the next generation’s guest posts (they are too sweet)!!! Speaking of which so is LilB’s birthday vid. I am watching, I just have a lot of commenting to do!!!! Oh yes, I’m working my way over… xox

Diesel, Almost Turrets-lke(correct me on the spelling as I know you will)in your links. Another flick for me to rent. How do you like Netflix?

Pavel: Of course you do! Robots/tech/funny – one stop shop! I love your characterization of a Cuban Thanksgiving. Sounds like a good play perhaps? Take a video for your next get together.

“Is Yuca a fruit or a vegetable?” That Pavel!

Walela: The sharpest one, if that fails the one in the road.

Comment by Lampy

Those are the best. TOm and I love the old training videos…hopefully you’ll post the industrial arts one at some point!

Ha…guess what? We are puking and pooping at our house…we’ll do whatever it takes to get out of all that nice fake shit.

Comment by Cindra

Ooh have to dig that out! But boo about the pox upon your household! Hope you’re all feeling better (even if you have to say you’re not to get out of that nice fake shit).

IN case I don’t get back in, HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL. Enjoy your holiday and may the only turkeys you have to deal with be on the carving board (do turkeys go on carving boards…that’s how undomesticated I am).

Comment by G-iving

Lampy – Netflix rocks. Almost as much as Tivo. Man, I don’t know how I ever watched TV in the olden days. I’m pretty sure you spelled that syndrome wrong, but I’m too lazy to look it up. 🙂

Comment by Diesel

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Comment by Diesel

Cindra: yowza! SO sorry to know you guys have been under the weather (especially since it got so crappy today!). hopefully you’ll all be well enough to enjoy some turkey/rice soup (seems like that would be a bit easier on the tummy). xox

G-iving: turkeys can go on carving boards. at least i think they can. but then i think you have to wash the board with acid. or bleach. or spermacide. something that kills germs. of course, around here, we just throw everything ever touched by the turkey away… the cutting board, the pan it was cooked in, all our eating utencils, you know, everything. haven’t you always wondered why we move so much?? HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU, TOO, DEAR FRIEND! xoxo

Diesel: yes, okay… it’s Tourette’s syndrome. but don’t ask me how i know MUTHAFUCKA-SHIT-CRAP-POOP, because i won’t FARTFUCKA tell you. suffice it to say HOLYSHITTYMUTHAFRACKER we’re not unfamiliar with the term, and leave it at that. and Happy Thanksgiving to you, TOO!! xox

Comment by pony-up to the table snuppy

HAPPY THANKSGIVING SNARKSTERS!

Hope you all have a great day and enjoy (tolerate if that’s what it takes) the folks that you’re surrounded by. We will be traveling about 2 1/2 hours by car to my sister’s outside of Philadelphia. We’re beyond excited because these are always fun gatherings…even for Scissors (sort of). Whatever you do, have a great day.

Ah, Pony – I did wonder a teensey bit about the moving, but you know television seemed to be a decent reason if not cover. Happy Thanksgiving.

Comment by G-iving




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