Central Snark

Hasselhoff by Snuppy
Friday, 24 November 2006, 9:17am
Filed under: happy happy, music music | Tags:

*COUGH* Uh…we can’t believe we just wrote that name in the title line of this blog. But we did. And now we can’t take it back.

WHY does the name Hasselhoff appear so prominently up there, you ask? Well, believe it or not, we have a perfectly good explanation. You see, after spending the last two days preparing for — and stuffing ourselves with — all things “Thanksgiving”, we plopped ourselves down on the couch and tried to take a nap. But something kept nagging at us, even as we wrapped ourselves in our chenille afghan and tried to sleep. Finally, it hit us: we forgot to do a proper “opposites/cheap laughs” response to the fabulous video teh PENGUIN posted on Tuesday! Shaking off our lethargy, we immediately hopped off the couch, and logged into the Snark.

INITIALLY, we feared we weren’t up to the task. Afterall, we needed to counter a video that featured the impressive pipes of a precocious 11 year old girl. Then it hit us. That little girl was the winner of a TV talent show that featured DAVID HASSELHOFF as one of its judges. “Hmmmm”, we said to ourselves, “wonder if we might not be able to find something that features David Hasselhoff’s questionable vocal stylings on YouTube.” “Hey”, we answered ourselves, “we bet we can”. So, we looked, we found, we posted. And now… we nap.

HOOGA HOOGA ooga chaka, indeed. We remember when we used to think David Hasselhoff was cute. Of course, we were much younger then, and so was he. That said, we understand he currently has quite the following in Europe — but for the life of us, we can’t figure out why.

~ snuppy

30 Comments so far
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Please accept our (my) apologies for this potentially tummy turning video, especially on the heels of a day that involved gluttony for many of us. still, even tho’ this has hurl potential written all over it, we (i) still think you’ll be hard-pressed to watch ol’ David ham it up for the camera and not laugh.

that said, if any of you are fans of this guy, well… you have our (my) condolences. xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy




Sorry Penguin but I have to point the finger at your contrymen here! I am afraid ’tis only the Germans that are gaga over gag-me-now-before-I-scratch-my-eyes-out-and-rip-my-ears-off Hasselhoff…

Can you tell I am as baffled as you, Snuppy dearest? By the way, hears hoping all you Snarksters had a Thanksgiving to remember! SIZZLE IT UP PEEPS! SIZZLE!


Now DAS what I’m twalkin’ ’bout! FO SHO!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

All I can think of when I watch this is the phrase “Justifiable Homicide”.

Comment by Al

Please tell me he and the producers of that video were trying to make it that bad and cheezy! That was hideous…if they were trying to make it so, well, good job…if not, god help them. Why is he such a big deal in “Europe” anyway? Was Night Rider that huge or was it bouncin Baywatch that catipulted him to such heights?

Comment by BoBo

Are there any leftovers in the Park? Just hopping through. 🙂

Comment by Gone to the Dogs ate my Bunny

Ironically, the Iranian cab driver who drove me from LAX to LA last week picked up Hasselhoff a couple of weeks prior. He said Hasselhoff looked like he had been beaten up in a fight, but he told the cab driver that he had fallen while climbing a mountain.

True story. 😉

Comment by Dan

All that’s missing is the dancing baby from Ally McBeal. I thought you liked us.

I can’t believe I crushed on him during the Knight Rider years. Shame on me.

Who told that man he could dance? Sing? Act? Was anyone else moderately thoroughly icked out when he said “Girl you turn me on” and the camera panned to the two kiddy angels? Eek!

Comment by Little Blue Pill

I’ll have you know, somehwere, in my mom’s house there is a Michael Knight action figure. I used to watch a lot of Knight Rider… then again I was 7. 🙂 The video gave me a good laugh though – and that counts for something!

Hope everyone had a nice holiday!

Comment by cj

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ROFLMFAO oh no I can’t believe this. No one in their right mind would make this video. No one with half of a brain would take it seriously. OMG. Tears are running down my face from laughing so hard. Snort snort woof woof barf barf

Comment by schnoodlepooh

Will no one else say it? The dude can sing. If you don’t watch the trainwreck of goofiness, he sounds pretty good. I actually never have listened to him before so I was happily surprised. The goofiness I was already aware of.

Comment by Walela


Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

okay… i was gonna say “hi” and respond to everyone, but then i skimmed down to Walela’s comment, and now my mind is totally blown. i can only assume such an outrageous statement is the result of a bad piece of turkey. ple-e-e-e-ase let that be the reason. otherwise i will SO have to rethink my opinion of… well… *your* (Walela’s) opinions. xox

Comment by snuppy

OMG!!! That was so utterly awful and corny! I’m going to have nightmares, and yet, strangely, I couldn’t turn it off. It was so bad, I was frozen into inaction!

Comment by Pavel

Are we even RELATED hermano? Wait, don’t answer that! Ha, ha, ha, haaaa! 😉

But seriously, I think we need to have a talk… vegetarianism might be your way to clearer thinking!


Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Hermana, sabes que puede cantar. No se falta cantar, pero puede. No me falta ecoucher tampoco. Dios desculpa Snuppy!

Snuppy, I’m just saying you probably watch reality TV where people who sing no better get to the late rounds, that’s all.

Comment by Walela

OK, and the hopping with Dinka was suspicious.

Comment by Walela

Didn’t Blue Swede do this? Hasselhoff is doing a Blue Swede cover? 🙂

Also… who knew he could fly?

Comment by cj

¡Mis ojos!

In all fairness to Walela, if the question is can he sing in tune, then yes, but if the question is should he sing at all, well then…

Comment by Pavel

I know, I know… levelheaded Scorpio that you are! *sigh* Can’t y’all be a little irrational? Hmph! Fine… he can carry a tune but P-LEASE don’t make me listen!!!!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Walela: by way of providing you with a chance to redeem yourself, watch THIS and then tell me you think Hasselhoff’s “not bad”. (okay, he can carry a tune… *barely*, but what about the other aspects of his performance? i mean come on. he’s just bad.) xox

Comment by snuppy

Catty and Snuppy, none of us have to listen and I don’t want to either. Snuppy, don’t make me listen to more. I just said he can sing and you want to torture me.

Comment by Walela

no… i want to educate you. call it aversion therapy (think that works? i wonder…) 🙂

fine. as long as we all agree on this one teensie tiny point (the point being that Hasselhoff’s talent is “questionable” at best), you don’t have to watch. (of course, i *did* make BoBo watch. he laughed. and, believe it or not, he’s still talking to me. at least i think he is…) xox

Comment by snuppy

My eyes! My ears! Oh dear god! Anyway…the second video is everybit as, shall we say, “amazing” as the first.

Comment by BoBo

The ultimate irony is to actually believe he was in the position to judge someone like Bianca Ryan!

Comment by Pavel

i know! kind of makes you wonder about the performers that *didn’t* make it to the finals, eh, Pavel? 🙂

Comment by snuppelhoff

Tali and I watched and pronounced it BAD! Funny, but BAD! We both liked him better in the Spongebob Squarepants movie!

Oh good to be back in town just breezing in to say hi – missed you guys!

Dan, that’s quite plausible as I’ve read a few of the Page Six stories about him – never pretty. Now that I’ve seen this video, I can see why he’s drinking his woes away.

But that was a good BAD find Snuppyhoff!

Comment by Lampy

Ok…here is my tie to david hasselhoff.
I was 13, the crumbling wall had just united East and west Germany and two musicians entered our world in East germnay. Michael Jackson and David Hasselhoff. The entire class was usually devided between the “Who´s bad?” group and “I´ve been looking for freedom” group. I was one of the latter and proudly so. Many a cassette I had of mr Hasselhoff, singing along to words I didnæt even understand. He was my God, he has birthday on teh same dya I do…it was menat to be.
And then I turned 14!

Comment by Penguin

okay… that’s a beautiful story, dearest Penguin. you are forgiven for having such feelings, especially based on those amazing and important circumstances. i’m just glad the wisdom we know you possess found it’s was past the justifiable insanity of that time. honestly, i wouldn’t blame you if you still thought he was something special, i mean, that’s a mighty powerful connection. thank you for helping me understand. and, again… thank you for seeing the error of your ways, once you had a chance to see what *else* was out there!! (seriously, that’s an awesome story. and now i really do “get” it!) xox

Lampy: girlfriend!!!! oh the thinks you would have thunk had you been around for the past couple of days! you’ve been missed, my precioussssss… we misses you when we doesn’t gets to see you. (channeling Golum there. badly.) i know you had a fabulous Thanksgiving (we did too, especially thanks to that terrific musical treat you left for our enjoyment) i adore Spongebob Squarepants, and yet we’ve never seen the movie… but i’m sure DH was great.

my Hasselhoff-related question is this: does anyone remember how he got his “big” start? well i’ll tell you. he played Snapper on the Young and the Restless. a soap opera my sister and i used to watch religiously (what can i say, i actually saw the very first episode). Hoff wasn’t the original Snapper, but he was a good one. by the way, that show also spawned the career of Tom Selleck, so don’t tell *me* all soaps are shit. (i never watch ’em now, but that’s beside the point) xox

Comment by snuppelhoff

Oh poor Kit! The incarmanity to be in that video.

If he did that in Calgary, the police would impound his car…toot-sweet! It’s the law. Pick up a hooker, lose your ride (there’s a fine too but really…it’s about the car). So…Kit would be in jail.

but saved.

Comment by Little Blue Pill

incarmanity? good one, LBP! 🙂 xox

Comment by snuppelhoff

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