Central Snark

Merry Bleepin’ Christmas by Snuppy
Wednesday, 6 December 2006, 11:53am
Filed under: cracks us up, holidays, music music

BAD MORNING = late start = later post. We hate that. Let’s blame it on the insanity of the holidays, shall we? We shall. Honestly, our lives are in quite the tizzy right now.We have Christmas e-mails coming out the wazoo, enough catalogues to build a house, and boxes and boxes of decorations just begging to be put up. Christmas is all around us and we SO aren’t ready.

WHAT to do? Well, we’re going to answer our e-mails (and we apologize to any and all who think we should have done that weeks ago, because we meant to, we really did), we’re gonna toss out the 4 dozen copies of Pottery Barn and/or J. Crew catalogues we’ve had crammed into our mailbox over the past week and a half, and we’re gonna see if we can’t hire someone to come over and string up a few lights, before we string up ourselves. Kidding, we’ll put up our own damn lights, thank you, and then we’ll string up ourselves.

IN light of all these annoyances, we find our sense of humor waning fast, and we can think of nothing better to lift them than a healthy dose of humor. The following song had us smiling long enough to answer the phone and actually be nice to the latest telemarketer who managed to slip past the network of caller ID protective devices we have set up to keep such calls from ever making it through. Man, we hate when that happens. But since we’re in a good mood, we picked up the receiver, listened to the umpteenth pitch for “a fabulous coupon book for many necessary items that will save us a fortune should we ever find ourselves in need of a tire pump and/or flat grill”, said “No thank you, asshole” politely, and got on with our lives.

Thank you SOUTH PARK. We needed to immerse ourselves in the true spirit of the holidays, and this song absolutely fit the bill. LANGUAGE ALERT: Lots and lots of colorful words in this clip — so keep the youngsters at arm’s length, and the in-laws even further.

FORGIVE us. We know our own crappy mood is no excuse for subjecting you all to such blasphemy on this fine December day, we just couldn’t help ourselves. Tomorrow we’ll do our best to make it up to everyone, okay? Unless, of course, we get bombarded with another shitload of catalogues and/or phone calls, in which case, you’re screwed.



23 Comments so far
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🙂 Glad its not just me who has so many f’ing catalogs the mail man can’t even shut my box from day to day. I think American Girl Co. has chopped down several rainforests just for the paper to make my month of holiday mailing possible!

Comment by cj

Okay well that was w-r-o-n-g! Which, of course, means it was perfect for this chilly humpday.

Comment by BoBo

That was fucking awesome.

Comment by Little Blue Pill

wow!!! I didn’t realize one could insult so many people in just over 2 minutes!

In an artistic, sarcastic sort of way, though, it was funny.

Comment by Pavel

ah…. where were teachers like Mr. Garrison when we were in school, right? thank you all for indulging me today — i know i worried my dear NBFF because i got this up so darn late! and THANK YOU, Lampsha, for caring about me enough to check in! and, of course, for still being my friend *after* reading this and/or listening to the song over the phone!! (Bobo has no choice, “for better or worse”, right honey?)

CJ: the days i feel most bad are when our postman (Kay) has to bring them up to the front porch, because she can’t fit everything into the box! i hate that. and i can’t help but wonder why some of the companies feel the need to send out SO MANY. seriously, i get at least one from Horchow Collection every single day. oy. xox

BoBo: thank goodness you and i share more than a passion for Mexican food & The Office. (yes, kids, it’s our compatible senses of humor, (among other things) that have kept us together all these years! xox

LBP: i had a fucking feeling you’d fucking like this! by the way, i think you should sign up for a free WordPress blog account for the sole purpose of flashing those glitter lips of yours over here! (seriously, you wouldn’t have to actually blog there — tho’ you could — but at least your avatar would show up!) xox

Pavel: one of the many things i adore about the guys who created/write/animate South Park is their sense of “equal opportunity mockery”. nothing is sacred. NOTHING. xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Now that’s the spirit I’ve come to know and love! You’ve gotta love the South Park Guys. Well you don’t have to, but then you might also be offended by this.

Hey make way on the couch, I love Mexican and The Office. It would be a very compatible Thursday night.

Okay, just wanted to make sure you weren’t all tangled up in lights, now I can go back to work. 😉

Comment by Lampsha

You like my lips that much? I’m honored! Hot damn!

Sometimes no one says it like South Fucking Park.

Terribly sorry with all the fucking F-bombs. It was used excessively last night so I’m really just purging now. That’s the problem with like-minded potty mouths. They get me into fucking trouble. But it is one of my favorite fucking words!

Comment by Little Blue Pill

Lampy: oh…. if only i *was* tangled up in lights! only because it would mean i’m actually trying to put them on our tree. or in the window. or something. alas. the day is declining as rapidly as my taste level did when i put up this video. still… the day ain’t over yet, i may get the “hang” of decorating yet… xox

LBP: i fucking LOVE that avatar! i reallyreally do! as for the “f” bombs? since when is that a problem around here? did you NOT watch the fucking video?? Merry Fucking Christmas??? how “f” bomby can ya get? xox

Comment by snuppy

Hm…testing this out.

Comment by littlebluepill

LBP: don’t give up! it took a short while for our avatar to show up, too. (yay for doing that, by the way!) 🙂 xox

Comment by snuppy

South Park is such a guilty pleasure… ha ha hadn’t seen this one. And yes, LBP – those lips are absolutely gorgeous!

Comment by tsduff

LOL, loved it. I don’t get to see South Park, but I’d love to–maybe we should rent some…I saw the movie, and thought the band’s song about “uncle fuckers” was at first shocking, then hilarious. Thanks for the laugh:)

Comment by actonbell

Ya know, after freezing my ass off outside earlier today, untangling and hanging a string of lights on a friggin tree, half of whose friggin’ bulbs aren’t lighting up now (grrrr)… This is EXACTLY the kind of music I needed to hear. I mean, EXACTLY!

You fucking people must be psychic or something.

Comment by Al - Holiday Shmoliday

Terry: “guilty pleasure” is exactly how we feel about this show, too. i know it’s so wrong, and yet i watch, and more times than not, i laugh! xox

Actonbell: girlfriend, you should definitely rent some of the seasons. such a funny show. i mean, irreverant as all get out (yeah, like you didn’t already know this!) xox

Al: hah! when i first read that last line, i thought you wrote “fucking psychotic“! and i laughed and i laughed and i laughed. actually, i’m still laughing, because your tale of decorating woe is *still* fucking hilarious. (your latest addition at WA is pretty fucking hilarious, too) xox

Comment by snuppy

Nice to see you fresh ladies over here are keeping it, well, you know, SALTY.

Comment by Logo™

Logo™: ya know, after Diesel told us to stop talking about the fucking String Theory, our brains gave up thinking and went straight into the tacky holiday dumpster. 🙂 xox

Comment by snuppy

Ha, ha, haaaa! Faboo I tell you! Loverboy and I watched this last night (and since we were in the middle of watching “Prison Break”, a show we’re now hooked on, I couldn’t fully answer) and both laughed our heads off!

My guilty pleasure within the guilty pleasure that is South Park? Thw whole Muslim part… bad, I know but HAH! And the “Arabic” writing he held up in class? Not Arabic said Loverboy but actually it was written in Farsi… since I can’t read the stuff it was interesting to me but ay, I am blabbing on as always…

… but since I already am, South Park was actually quite the accidental discovery for us, or interesting one I should say. It was when we had no kids, towards the beginning of our relationship, that we went to a comedy show starring Norm McDonald at the Palace of Fine Arts. They aired the “anal probe” episode of South Park. Loverboy and I had had some fight before and I cannot for the life of me remember about what. But he was laughing throughout and I kept ignoring him (while looking away and secretly laughing, no easy feat when South Park is on)… and Norm was great, that is until he got to the end of his routine and finished off with a bit about them “Iranian camel jockey terrorists”…

… and after the show? I still wouldn’t talk to the man althoug after that South Park was quite the in thing for a while!

I just reread that… it bores me but since I wrote it, I am posting it! Bwahahahahaaaaa!

Snuppylicious, thou art dreamy and thine sense of humour totally FABOO like YOU!!! This bohemian loooooves you mucho FO SHO!!!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

The brain in the tacky holiday dumpster sounds truly awesome.

The sound in my computer is great for everything but my podcasts and youtube videos, so I didn’t even get to hear that…This is so sad

Comment by pia

Were we talking about The String Theory?

Merry Fucking Christmas! Ho! Ho! Ho!

Comment by Lampy

Oooh! Bohemians like the String theory! Ask Snuppy! You do NOT want to get us started, right? 😉

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

I remember this video. Perfect. Howdy, y’all. It feels good to say “Howdy, y’all.”

Comment by Walela

CYM: well, i’m sure no one’s ever accused (or credited) Parker & Stone (South Park guys) of resolving couple conflicts, but hey, at least you were laughing about something that night, right? (i’m so glad you know & like South Park, so irreverant and so damn funny. i’m a big fan, can ya tell?) xox

Pia: i HATE that you can’t hear these, especially this one! but if you were able to watch, i’m sure you got the jist (Merry Fucking Christmas just says it all, doesn’t it?). that said, i had the same problem for a few days when i first started using YouTube and then one day my son pointed to the little “volume control” between the counter and that “share” button. turns out the volume was turned all the way down. you’ve probably done this, but if not, you should definitely check. and if that doesn’t work, maybe call the tech support folks for your computer. especially if you can hear audio on other programs. just a thought — and only because i want to be sure we can share all the bloggy love we have around here with you, our bloggy goddess! xox

Lampsha: yeah… leave it to Diesel to put String Theory thoughts in my brain. actually, strike that. i don’t understand the String Theory, tho’ i *do* think it’s fascinating, whatever it is 😉 xox

CYM: and don’t think i didn’t crack up when i saw Diesel’s post about that very thing yesterday (oooh, maybe we’re Blog Psychics? xox

Walela: Howdy, y’self! it feels good to have you say that here. xox

Comment by snuppy

Snuppy, this was JUST what I needed today. My sense of humor went out the window this morning, and I believe it may just have been restored with this lovely, lovely, funfuckingtabulous post. THANK YOU! (The part about the pagans had me in fits — have you heard the Christmas song on the radio about the Christians and the pagans? Makes me think of the old Dr. Demento stuff. xoxoxo

Comment by Angela

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