Central Snark

Clearification by Snuppy
Friday, 8 December 2006, 10:14am
Filed under: cracks us up

OKAY, this may not be in the “spirit” of the holidays, but we don’t think a departure from the insanity that is Christmas is necessarily a bad thing. Besides, since we first introduced you to DEMETRI MARTIN a few months ago, he’s come out with not one, but two (count ’em TWO) new episodes of his soon to be (any minute now) smash hit, CLEARIFICATION.

A CONCIENTIOUS blog would show them to you in order. This, however, is not one of those “do the right thing or suffer the consequences, damn you” blogs, in case you hadn’t noticed. So, if you feel you “have” to watch the videos in “sequence” in order to be “connected” to and/or “understand” the “storyline”, go “HERE*” for part two, then “below” for part 3.

WE don’t know if you’ll agree about the entertainment value of this clip, but here’s the thing, we don’t care. It just occurred to us that we only have 14 shopping days left until Christmas, and we are kind of freaking out right now. That’s right, we said we’re FREAKING OUT! Driving ourselves crazy — crazy we tell ya, CRAZY! — trying to decide what to get for who, and then asking ourselves why “who” gets the “what” we’re gettin’ them when they didn’t get us anything last year? And well, you know how it is. We needed a laugh, and, besides making us do that, this little series reminds us that if we could just stop thinking about Christmas and/or metal for a minute or two, our brains might not be so fried. But we digress. Or do we? We aren’t sure, because we’re still thinking about metal. Or is it Christmas? We forget.

*After you click the above “link” and listen to DEMETRI’S “introduction”, click “episodes” (you’ll see it on the “menu” banner over his “head”). When the little “squirrel” holding the “table of contents card” pops out, click “episode 2” (or “one” if you want to start from the “beginning”). Also, if the quality of the above clip isn’t clear — PIA‘s been having problems, maybe others are, too? — then, by golly, click on “three” after watching “two” and/or “one” on his “site”. Whatever. Just be sure to watch “something”, somewhere.  



18 Comments so far
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i know i’m probably the only one who thinks this stuff is funny (okay, Bobo does too, don’t ya, BoBo??) i just love this kid’s droll sense of humor. and i really am struggling to find balance and/or clarity these days — for reasons i almost explained above — which is why, i suppose, the concept of “Clearification” seemed almost timely. but maybe that’s just me…

is anyone else starting to feel the “pressures” of the holidays?? we don’t do cards, and we’re going the “charity” route for all intents and purposes this year, but still… what am i gonna give our mailman, Kay? she’s so great. and how ’bout Nancy, the lovely Korean lady who does my nails? and the Dog Groomers, for Pete’s sake?? crap. i need more time. anyone else??

Comment by One Hot Puppy

“Freaking out.” “Only 14 shopping days left.” Hello, Snark? Hello? I’m, like, a guy! And every guy knows there’s only one shopping day before Christmas: its December 24, just like every year.

And, thanks to the cool video you posted today, I’ve gotten a few great gift ideas…

Comment by Al

Al: aw, thanks! i feel better now! actually, Joel and I do *most* of our shopping on Christmas Eve. — and are always surprised and/or relieved to note that the malls aren’t all that crowded. especially if you go out about an hour before everything closes. oy. xox

Comment by snuppy

I would like to adopt Demetri but I’m pretty sure his own mom might take issue. As for shopping…if it can’t be bought with a keystroke or click of the mouse it’s not worth giving.

Comment by BoBo

And, don’t forget — by then, there’s, like, only two or three tings left to buy! Tres simple, n’est-ce pas?

I usually add a little something to my wife’s “soap on a rope” collection, which I started for her on our very first Christmas together.

Comment by Al

A few people who work for Madonna and Angelina Jolie are in the adoption line ahead of you, Joel.

Comment by Al

BoBo: now that Andy’s in California, we *do* have that extra room…think he could pay for his own car insurance?? xox

Al: “soap on a rope” is very “romantic”. (okay, so that’s actually a great — not to mention unique — tradition! wish i’d thought of it.) do’h! pretty sure i had more to say, but then i read that last comment of yours and now, well, i’m laughing…can’t write when the keyboard is covered in spewed Zen tea with honey. xox

Comment by snuppy

Instructions I can follow – be sure to watch something somehwere! Oh and I will because I loved the intro to Demetri a couple of months (?) back.

Sure the NY Times Style section just wrote about the small dog accessory. But as usual, I think Al and Joel are onto something (which they may not even know) – children from Africa or other impoverised countries and you could order them online!

Okay I’m just this side of cynical with my blurred vision today.

Thank goodness for the lowkey celebration of Chanukkah I say. But happy shopping all!

Comment by Lampsha

hey Snuppy – I’m done! Neener neener neener. I actually did all my shopping online and was done by the day after Thanksgiving. This is the first year I’ve been done early and it feels very good.


Comment by cj

Lampsha: as long as you can *see* something, somewhere, it’s all good! (hopefully those eyes of yours will be up and runnin’ reading soon enough!) and yeah, Chanukkah is fabulous (that starts next week, right?) “small” gifts are good, although you still have to buy one gift for each of the eight days, right? (or not? you know how easily i get confused once “details” enter into a conversation…) xox

CJ: did your mother never tell you to “be nice to your elders”? i have a good mind to call her and complain about her inability to properly educate you about such matters, young lady! (okay, so i’m jealous… trust me, i plan to start any minute now.) xox

Comment by snuppy

Snuppy, your details are all good! Yes, it starts next Friday night, the 15th and yes come to think of it, I do have to buy a gift for each night! The little gifts end up getting larger each year, but I do try to keep it within reason. And come to think of it – I think we have exactly one present for Julian so not like I can be *that* relaxed about it.

Comment by Lampsha

No Snuppy I had a bad momma. *L* That is well known. I am kidding. You keep calling yourself my elder but I don’t think you are nearly as old as you think you are! Really this is the first year I’m not going to be wandering the mall of Christmas Eve praying I find what I am looking for.

Thats right next weekend is the start Lampsha. We’re heading to my family to celebrate both the holidays- Chanukkah Saturday and Christmas Sunday. Should be fun… my cousins and kids will be there so there are going to be more than 60 of us.

Comment by cj

I haven’t started shopping yet. The only person’s gift I know I’m getting is my Mom’s. I STILL have to find a restaurant for my brother and sister-in-law (dinner and movie…every year so then I get the hardship of babysitting the kid). Oh wait!! There’s that new restaurant not far from the theater!! Shebang! If it sucks…not my fault!

Ooookay…two gifts down…

Comment by Little Blue Pill

Hah! Two presents bought! Yay me. Yay amazon.ca who had ONE copy left of Baby Einstein Gallileo. Who’s the best auntie? Oui. Moi. Then I bought my mom’s present (waaay cheaper than it would’ve been at Future Shop I tell you what!) and I had $1.52 left over for free shipping so I bought myself the first season of Young Rider’s…hey…50% off! Man I loved that show…a bevy of hotties for me to admire. Ahhh yes…quality tv. Actually my best friend and I started to write an episode for that show when we were 16…I’ll have to tell y’all about that one day. It rocked.

So yeah…let the shopping commence!

Comment by Little Blue Pill

LBP – Don’t you love that Baby Einstein?! Grace’s aunt Sassy got her hooked on that stuff. Its nice to be the best Auntie isn’t it? I went the Amazon and apple.com gift route – ahhhh I love the age of internet!

Comment by cj

Lampsha: i hope you’re not just saying that to make me feel better, NBFF. i mean, it *did* make me feel better, but still… xox

CJ: i won’t pull out the “age card” just yet, but i can if i have to (don’t make me do it… please don’t make me do it!) dueling holiday celebrations sounds like a lot of fun. a lot of work, but a lot of fun! xox

LBP: first you show up and you’re as pathetic as i am — two minutes (give or take) later and suddenly we’re dancing with elves in joy as you wrap (heh) up your shopping before our very eyes? oh woe is me, girlfriend… as for that TV script? hmmmm. sounds like good WORDPRESS BLOG FODDER to these tired (and old, but don’t tell CJ) eyes! xox

Comment by snuppy

Two gifts does not a finished shopping expedition make.

I’m NOT starting up a wordpress blog! And you can’t make me!

Comment by littlebluepill

LBP: ooooh. you are so stubborn!! fine. we’ll stop bugging you about this… for now. but all bets are off after the holidays, missy! xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

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