Central Snark


Fa-la-la-la-laarrrgh! by Snuppy
Wednesday, 27 December 2006, 9:32am
Filed under: happy happy, holidays

ONCE UPON A TIME (two weeks ago), a certain beautiful and thoughtful PENGUIN came up a lovely plan for a Holiday Post, which she layed out for her Snarky cohorts in a carefully crafted e-mail:

“Greetings from Iceland, Girlfriends! What do you think about creating a joint Christmas/Chanukah Post for all our Blogbuddies? Wouldn’t that be fun? We can each add pictures and/or videos and make it really special in order to let everyone know how much we appreciate their support and/or comments.”

IMMEDIATELY, teh beautiful Penuguin received joyful responses from CATTY YUMMY MUMMY, LAMPSHADE LADY, and SNUPPY — and all basically said the same thing: “Great plan, you thoughtful Penguin, you! Count me in!” E-mails, filled with ideas for the aforementioned videos and/or pictures and/or messages, flew back and forth from SPAIN to ICELAND to QUEENS to CONNECTICUT back to ICELAND. It was all very dizzying. And more than a little exciting. But then, disaster struck. Well, not “disasterous” disaster, but still, a pretty good sized Christmas Monkey Wrench found its way into the Snarky Christmas Greeting Post Works in the form of:

A) Co-workers calling in sick just in time to wreak havoc on an already hectic Penguin schedule. Then, adding insult to injury, no snow in ICELAND. NO SNOW IN ICELAND? How would Teh thoughtful/beautiful but not very frozen Penguin, when she found time to do so, share glorious pictures of her even-more-glorious country in all its Christmassy-yet-icy…er,  glory?

B) Potential buyers, showing, not-showing, then showing, then, yes!-they-want-to-buy-the-house, packing, packing, packing. That tooth! Kids’-school-pageants-Dios-Mio!-OH-THE-INSANITY-NOT-HUMANITY-of-SPAIN! And then, on top of all that, A GUEST TURN AT WAKING AMBROSE!! How can a BoheMian be expected to shoot/edit/post a festive greeting with so much drama swirling around her funkified-yet-gorgeous head? 

C) Work, kids, kids’ field trips, life, MIL’s stuffing cocktail weenies into her purse for a snack later in the day. Sniffles/snuffles/sore throats galore. Yeesh. How in the world can a delectable Lampshade be expected to cast a happy Chanukah glow on a celebratory post with such chaos threatening to fracture an already fragile filament in that oh-so-glamorous-and-oh-so-very-bright bulb of hers?

D) Stupid, rude and/or bitchy women yelling obscenities right there on the street at a kindly, gentle Snuppy, who wanted nothing more than to fetch her newly-groomed pups, take them home, and revel in the beauty that was… 3 clean dogs. Who can think of clever Christmasticisms when such a simple-yet-satisfying act was so rudely interrupted by a total and complete fucking ho?

YUP. Because of all that stuff, the “Joint Holiday Greeting” never (technically) materialized. Not that it matters, we can still share our Bloggy love with you guys after the fact and/or holiday, right? Right. So here’s our little CLAYMATION “tribute” to Teh Penguin — and to all of you, sort of — for her grand idea, even if it never got off the ground, frozen and/or otherwise.

AND yes, after feasting on more than our fair share of goodies throughout the weekend, some of us can definitely relate to the, uh, rotundity of Dame Margot Pontoon and/or Sir Rudolph Nervesonedge. What of it?

~ snuppy

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15 Comments so far
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some of us are still on a sugar high after eating one too many Christmas goodies (or two too many, as the case may be.) since this post was just sitting there, all done and written and ready to go, it made sense (to a brain marinating in glucose) to use it. besides, technically someone somewhere is celebrating something… yesterday was BOXING DAY in Canada — that counts, right?

ALSO: we know you’re all shocked by the fact we’re not making a bigger deal of the passing of our 38th President, Gerald Ford, who died yesterday at the age of 93. if any of you feel the need to say something about the man who pardoned Richard Nixon back in 1974, by all means, be our guest… xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Morning Snuppy,

Oh great rotund one… or is that lying in state in the Rotunda? There were no sugar snacks in our house for the holidays. I know, the horrors, but it was just us, so it was quiet.

Good to see that you are over the awful road rage incident and are not dwelling over and over on the despicable behavior of certain ^&%$%&** drivers. 😉

Have a great day. 🙂

Comment by Brian

“…so rudely interrupted by a total and complete fucking ho?” ROFL!!! Don’t hold back, snuppy. Tell us how you really feel.

The video was great!

Comment by Pavel

A Snuppy, Lampsha, Catty, Penguin video would have – indeed – been a sight to behold “fo sho!” I’m so glad you’re completely, totally over the rude b*tch incident…whew…that’s a relief.

Love the claymation…actually miss it now that the genre has gone the way of the Edsel courtesy CGI.

Happy New Year!

Comment by BoBo

Brian: i’m thinking we’d have fared much better sans the sugar. that said, our mouths were happy (even if our waistlines are not!) 😉

Pavel: d’oh! did i say that last line out loud? ah, what can i say, she was a bitch. and i mean that in the worst sense of the word (tho’ i’m gettin’ over her rudeness even as i type, no point in hanging on to all that negative energy, right?) 🙂

BoBo: i AM over that ho. no really. completely 100% over he/it/the whole ugly incident. is it my fault she was a bitch to sweet li’l ole me and had those earlier unkind words coming? i think not. and i agree with you about Claymation — CGI, while interesting, has certainly spoiled it for other, more pure forms of animation. i miss that, too! xox

Comment by snuppy pontoon

Yeah well we did bake those chocolate chip cookies and soufgoniyot, and well somebody HAD to eat them. I bet my MIL still has those cocktail weenies in her fridge! Yuck!

By the way on that ho – did you get her license plate because I’m thinking that could be our next joint production…Love to talk menacing.

But not as much as I love claymation! Great post Snupsha and not ONLY because I’m in it! Now I’m off to Waking Ambrose to see about this guest post of one of our very own! xox

Comment by DJ Lampsha

Its been a great holiday and I can’t wait to ring in the new years. *S* Sick kids and doggy and all!

I do find it quite odd how low key the Gerald Ford thing has been. Then again I’ve been taking care of a sick kid and a sick doggy.

Comment by cj

Oh that was cute!

Comment by littlebluepill

Lampsha: yep, chocolate chips cookies + soufgoniyot = sugar high that should last for days. seriously, my waitstline just grew another inch reading about those treats. (trust me, you do NOT want to hear about the box of Eleni’s cookies or the basket of brownies we have sitting on our kitchen counter. not the cookies and/or brownies, mind you, for those are LONG gone. just the boxes/basket. pretty-yet-pathetic) i start my fast next week.

and, no, i did NOT catch that ho’s license number — not sure she had one, come to think of it. she was such a bitch, one can only assume she left her plate jammed up into someone else’s front grill, when she slammed on her brakes to ask them, what the hell *their* problem was. (joint posting on bad drivers? oooooh. i like it!) xox

CJ: sick kids and/or dogs are tough enough to deal with on any given day — you’ve got BOTH to contend with at the same time? yikes. so sorry… hope all are feeling better soon (and that YOU stay well, yourself!) xox

LBP: aw… you know us, once in awhile we forget the snark and resort to the “cute”. thankfully it doesn’t happen too often (figure you might be able to show this one to that adorable nephew of yours…) help a blog out, won’t ya? we could use a little more lam and/or sass around here, girlfriend! xox

Comment by snuppy pontoon

Well, it is the thought that counts after all. Thanks for thinking of us. But, Snuppy, the evil lady in the car was, what? Two weeks ago? For five minutes?

Comment by Doug

I don’t believe I was in the proper mode to appreciate this earlier (considering my nerves were being placed on edge by the evil office assistant)! This was great, I love the names, the figures, the skating. Do you know how to ice skate? Each year I say that I am going to, but this year I must take Tali and perhaps ChooChoo. My fear is that I may take them down with me, so I’m canvasing for bona fie skaters…any takers?

Comment by Lampy Nervesonedge

Doug: yes, but you see, this post was actually written something, like, a week-and-a-half ago. but thanks for pointing that out for everyone so they know how truly lazy i was this morning — otherwise they might have thought i crafted this post off the top of my head in a semi-burst of minor (less than 60 watt, to be sure) brilliance. that said, i *have* been known to hang on to a grudge from time to time, bub. xox

Lampy Nervesonedge: as a matter of fact, i took ice skating for a phys-ed. class in college. you should have seen my “partner” and i skate our final to the haunting song “The Whole World Ought to Go On a Vacation” by the Holy Modal Rounders. ’twas a thing of beauty, i tell ya! (and yes, that’s the same group responsible for that big hit way back in the early 70’s, “Boobs-A-Lot”. classic.) all this to say i’d be honored to accompany you and your little lampshades whenever you feel so inclined to test the ice. (oh, of course, we actually *need* ice to do this skating thing, right? ah yes… details!) xox

Comment by snuppy pontoon

I’ll take that as a warning. Nevermind.

Comment by Doug

It’s the thought that counts, so thanks soo much for the wonderful thoughts ladies! Ha-ha-happy New year to you all as well!

Comment by Square-ish Girl

Oooh how yummy those soufgoniyots sound Lampsha but alas, for us ’twas a Danish breakfast of aebleskiver (pancake balls if you will) and a Christmas Eve (which is when us Danes celebrate Christmas) spent at my mother’s house that, thankfully, went off without a hitch! WOOH!

And Snuppy de mi corazón? I cannot find enough words to express how fabulous you are and how much I LOVED this post and the video and your sweetness at putting together such a fabulous shindig so YOU as it shows your compassion with us slackers (WHO YOU CALLING A SLACKER? scream the others as I group them into what I ultimately mean to be just for me but hey, misery loves company so girls, I am taking y’all down with me! Bwahahaaaaaa!) and understanding and love and oh my the MUSH you are evoking in eternally mushy me! *swoon* FO SHO!

In other words, gracias my sweet amiga for everything! May you have a very beautiful, magical and hopeful new year where health and beauty reign supreme my sweet friend! And the same I say to my Snarkster sistahs! *sniff sniff* Early morning emotional moments I tell you and NO I am not PMSing! Dios mio! Well, I’d best go feed my hungry kids before social services take them away from me! Ooops! Wait! I am still in Spain! No such thing here! My bad!

Besos to all and I am gonna shut it now! SHUT IT I SAY!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy




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