Central Snark


Are We Popular? by Snuppy
Friday, 29 December 2006, 9:34am
Filed under: happy happy, Sex, Ed?

Yo Lampy: What’s wrong with us? Here we are, just a few days shy of 2007, and so far, not one blog has asked us to help ring in the new year. Was it something we said? Someone we forgot to put on our sidebar? A bad link? Whatever it is, I know we can change as soon as we figure out what the hell it is we need to fix. I say we watch the following 1948 video, “Are You Popular?” as many times as possible over the next day or so. Surely the film will answer all our questions. In fact, I’m betting it might ultimately be our ticket to the best New Year’s parties and/or backseats of all the best cars (or blogs) in town.

Uh Snuppy: Don’t call me Shirley. And the video was 1947, not 1948. Say could that be why I’m not more popular — pointing out annoying minutiae such as that? That and I don’t go parking in cars with boys. Of course, if they’ll drive with me to work so that I can go in the HOV lane, well, then I might consider it.

Lampy-not-Shirley: D’oh! The date at the bottom of the screen was a dead give-away, wasn’t it? Maybe if we started wearing tighter sweater-sets? High heels instead of saddle-shoes? Dyed our hair and/or did our nails more often?? Used a date calendar, for godssake??

Snuppy: The date calendar — of course!! Then there’s the brownies.

OKAY, Lampy, so the key ingredients for Popularity are: Home, Parents and Personality? We both have homes *and* parents (hell, on any given day, we are parents)… hmmmm, so far so good. And, last time I looked, we both have personality out the wazoo. Unfortunately (tho’ I can’t speak for you), I’m thinkin’ our wazoos may not be the best place to show off our personalities, sparkling and/or otherwise.

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20 Comments so far
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this is what you kids get when you put two silly NBFFs in charge of the Friday-before-New-Years-Eve post. serves you all right. that said — what are any and all of YOU doing for New Year’s?? besides hair and/or nails, that is??

by the way — my favorite line from this video? “Ready and right on time. Good deal.” Good Deal?? a guy says something like that to me at the start of a date, he is SO leaving without me. (fortunately, BoBo never hassles me about such details as being “ready and on time”. whew!) xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Yeah, I didn’t like him from the get go! But I’ve got my date calendar open and by the time I come back home, I just know they’ll be some dates to pencil in!

Have a great day everyone and watch this video, consider it a PSA from us.

Comment by Lampy

So here’s what we’ve learned…

Jenny is a slut who is way more popular than the announcer even imagines…don’t let the public snub fool you.

Jerry is a well intended loser who, given his need for spontaneity, turns to the local hookers (and Jenny) for companionship.

Carolyn is not the brightest tool in the shed (she has to remind herself to comb her hair?)and apparently quite popular in her own right since she has a “date calendar.” I’m thinking the “date calendar” probably turned into a “book of Johns” for Carolyn a few years down the road…too high priced for Jerry.

Wally – serial killer

Carolyn’s parents – kinky…”dinner” was really a night out at the local underground swingers club.

Love the old “how to” vids…great work Snup & Lamp

Comment by BoBo

Lampy: a PSA? as in “Popularity Service Announcement”? hah! and yes, sharpen that pencil, girlfriend, i’m sure the invites will be flooding in once everyone sees how truly “cool” we are! xox

BoBo: i’m dying here! (laughing, that is) i’m tempted to add those astute observations to the post. but then, everyone would see how funny you are, and YOU’D be the one getting all the invitations… a dilemma, to be sure! that said, you’re so right — Jenny *is* a slut, but Carolyn’s destined for greater things than “high class escort”. why, with skills like hers, (remember, she gave good “phone”) she could get a job booking appointments at any number of salons and/or escort services justlikethat. xox

and yes — i’ve padded my “P”‘s, in hopes it’ll make me appear more desirable. did it work?

Comment by snuPPy

Hey if you want to drive all the way to Maryland and bring a lot of alcohol, be my guest. Woo! Happy New Year!

Comment by Malnurtured Snay

Bobo’s got every character and the entire plot nailed! He’s, like, the Cliff Notes for Coronet Films.

And, when I first met you all, I was drawn immediately to your wazoos. Can’t help it. I’m a wazoo man.

So, my friends, a toast! (Ahem…)

Here’s to your, my, and all of our pert, perky, and altogether wonderful wazoos — and may a Happy and Prosperous 2007 spring bountifully therefrom.

Comment by Al

Slut is good. Don’t make fun of my new found former identity, at least I think it’s former

Comment by pia

I was so laughing my ass off with you two oh Snuppy and Lampsha! Funny stuff FO SHO! And adding Bobo to the mix you have gold, PURE GOLD I SAY!

I really have nothing to say only that if life were to be judged by THOSE standards then I, who have no date book and wear tight as can be clothes and don’t remember to do my hair and balk at the thought of getting my nails done and will be damned if I serve Loverboy milk and brownies (unless it has a little somethin’ somethin’ in them then maybe, bwahahaaaaa but I would still forgo the milk and opt for soymilk) and won’t keep my mouth shut as to opinions and know not the first thing about being ladylike nor do I want to and what the hell is so wrong with some sexy times to boot I ask, would be shot, SHOT I TELL YOU! Oh… and add to the list my like, NAY LOVE, for titties a la David LaChapelle and well, maybe they will hang me…

But I would take that as a compliment! DIOS MIO!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

PS! Loverboy and I both caught up on the latest vid, that being the one below and BRILLIANT CHOICE is all I can say! Faboo FO SHO! I just love that man! You know, I have him on video talking to my camera back in his MTV VJ days! He attended a Rock and Jock party (is that what they were called?) and I was a geek with my friends outside taping it… and then a friend of ours snuck in, took my camera and taped footage of Dan Cortese talking to my camera… I still have that tape somewhere… hmmmm… but the John Stewart moment was the nicest!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

You ladies are wonderful! 🙂 We’re going to ring our new years in quietly with the children. Goodies, shirley temples for the little Thea and some ‘Rockin’ New Years Eve so Thea and Gracie can dance. Should be fun!

Comment by cj

What a great post! This is why I come here… Where else can you find a post with the words “sparkling wazoos” in it?

As for New Years Eve Plans, hmmm… I’ll get back to you, not sure yet. (runs to the phone to call folks…)

Comment by Pavel

I couldn’t get past “WELL! That telephone call didn’t go on for hours.” Mostly because I was rolling on the floor, but also the video got stuck.

That’s true about girls who park in cars, btw. Better to stick with the ones who will don’t feel like they need to wait until the car stops.

Comment by mattresspolice

Dammit, it’s Diesel. Mattress Police is just where I work. Friggin’ job is taking over my life.

Comment by Diesel

Kaugh-out-loud funny, Diesel. Driving with girls who are that willing and eager can be as dangerous as, like, cell phones.

Comment by Al

Malnurtured Snay: gosh that’s tempting, but since some of us have been on the wagon for a few years now, maybe we’ll just stay on this side of the Delaware — and toast you with our cups of hot cocoa! (d’oh! did i just admit to being an old fuddy duddy? crap. i hate when i do that!) xox

Al: “Cliff Notes of Coronet Films”? hahahahahahaha! and thanks (i think) for the kind words on our wazoos. takes a good wazoo to know one. or so i’ve been told. xox

Pia: i still need to leave a comment — but i laughed out loud when i read that part of your post. and even more at the line “New Found Former Identity”. i’m thinkin’ you’re going to have a great time writing fiction, my friend! xox

CYM: well pull up a pillow and let’s all sit on the floor, sistah/girlfriend… you’re in good company. or questionable-and-not-very-popular-company-but-who-gives-a-rat’s-ass?-certainly-not-me! ooooh… and i’m SO GLAD you liked the Jon Stewart video (i knew you would! oh yeah, and did you see my note to Jenna about CNN International? is The Daily Show still part of their programming?) xox

CJ: we’ve spent MORE New Years Eves doing precisely the same thing. believe it or not — it never gets old (good thing, since that’s basically how we’ll be spending this one, too! oh, but with puppies instead of kids. same diff…less hassle at bedtime) xox

Pavel: somehow i never pegged you as a guy who went in for the “sparkling wazoo”. good to know. so??? how’d ya make out on that call? find a date? or are you gonna wind up like poor Jerry, and have to call some good-time Jenny at the very last minute? (you’ve got her on speed-dial, right?) xox

Mattress-Diesel-Police: totally forgot about that! thank goodnes the narrator was there to ensure we grasped the concept of “quick calls” and/or missed opportunities (or something like that). i love his summary at the end, too. that’s just good all ’round quality infotainment. xox

Al: girls like that are only a problem if you drive a stick shift (no tellin’ WHAT one of them “easy” girls might do in such a situation, but i bet it’s hilarious). xox

Comment by snuPPy

I wanna be popular but Jenny’s method is so much more fun. Hm: the good girl or the trollop. Tough call.

(And Jon Stewart’s on the comedy channel up here, I just never know what time…sigh. Sometimes I catch it, sometimes I don’t. The word “late” is coming to mind.)

Comment by littlebluepill

Boy look at those offers – “drive all the way to Maryland and bring a lot of alcohol, be my guest”. I’m beginning to understanding your malnourished state. That is devastatingly funny. I am sitting here having a good laugh at the comments. I do hope you all take this to heart and watch it to ensure your popularity for the new year.

Either that or let your wazoo sparkle and woo hoo!

Have a good night all.

Comment by Lampy

🙂 Thanks Snuppy – I agree its a fun way to spend the holiday. I hope that we at least get hit with the snowstorm that is “supposed” to be on the way! It’d be nice to get snowed in on a holiday – I am starting to miss that!

Comment by cj

Well, gosh, Mrs. Snup, Mr. Bobo, it would sure be swell if Sophie could come out on a date with me. I’ll treat her real well. You bet I will. And I’m fixed!

Comment by Willie

[…] don’t know about you guys, but after we watched “Are You Popular?” a few times on Friday, and put into practice some of the excellent advice we managed to glean between bouts of making […]

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