Central Snark


We’re Sorry by Snuppy
Monday, 15 January 2007, 8:47am
Filed under: cracks us up, music music

WE interrupt our regularly scheduled “opposite music for the sake of cheap laughs” Monday post for a special edition of “omigod-so-horrifically-opposite/so-cheap-we-should-pay-you-to-laugh” Monday post. Which, by virtue of all those hyphens, means the following musical offering features a performer who’s voice goes well beyond bad, to a place where folks sing in the key of “suck”.

TOMORROW night, viewers from all over the world — or at least a good part of it — will be subjected to yet another couple of months of over-hyped/mildly entertaining programming — courtesy of FOX. Yes, the network that also brings us 24, HOUSE, and THE SIMPSONS rolls out another tedious season of AMERICAN IDOL in a two night “audition extravaganza” that’s sure to make more than a few folks wince and/or weep. And yes we mock, even as we plan to sit in front of our own stupid TV sets week after week and watch, but that’s beside the point. The point, for you know we have one — and indeed we do — is that there are a lot of delusional folks out there who think they deserve a shot on that stage, and they don’t. They really don’t.

WE most certainly do feel sorry for Keith. But that doesn’t change the fact that he should never NEVER have put himself in the position for folks like us to continue mocking him nearly 2 years after he first dared to bare his voice on national TV. Seriously… what the hell was he thinking?

~snuppy

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16 Comments so far
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“A Place where folks sing in the key of ‘suck’.” – very funny!

How about, for like a week, we all just start singing rather than talking to each other? “America: the Shlock Opera”. You know: “Give me a lah-tay / no foam, and two shoo-gers” at Starbucks, and “I want to ree-port / a lost-or-stoh-len check” at the bank. After that, the first couple of weeks of American Idol won’t seem so shockingly awful.

Comment by Al

i hope you’ll forgive me for putting you all in the position of having to watch this video — altho’, once you get past the sheer horror of that kid’s audition, it’s actually pretty hilarious. i also believe this clip serves to justify the way Simon reacts/responds to a majority of the contestants, in truth he’s doing them a favor (not to mention us) in telling them the truth about their delusional lack of talent. burst the bubble now, save someone else the trouble of having to do so down the road. i, for one, am grateful to him for his service to mankind – as well as mankind’s ears. xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Al: hah! would it surprise you to know that wouldn’t be much of a stretch in this household? (what can i say, i like to sing) that said, i think your idea is FANTASTIC! and i dare you to keep it up while you’re out of town (i’m sure they’ll love ya on the west coast!) xox

Comment by snuppy-oh-lay-oh-hee

Oh my nerves…I remember this audition. My jaw dropped. Thanks for not putting William Hung up or y’all would’ve deserved to be hanged.

The best part of that is Keith’s response. Seriously. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” Oh and his dance to Like A Virgin. A gem.

Bus fair to American Idol audition: $2 (or whatever)
Being labelled the worst singer in the world? Priceless.

Comment by littlebluepill

Ha, ha, haaaa! He is one of my favorite shitty ones! Actually, the only part of American Idol we LOVE watching is the beginning part… total comedy FO SHO! And I remember this guy but did he come back and sing the same song again then? Because I only remember him singing “Like a Virgin”…

And, unfortunately, I don’t feel sorry for him. He sucked. It would be like me walking in and thinking I was the shit. I would deserve such a telling off and all in all, Simon was being kind… and as for Simon, his honesty is refreshing and I LOVE his lack of BS and the fact that he tells it like it is. His success is based on the fact that he says what everyone thinks and dare not say…

I applaud you my dear Snuppy de mi corazón for a faboo post! Besos to all… off I go to put the kiddos to bed!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

LBP: i remember Keith’s audition too — and it was truly pathetic. and you’re oh-so-right, nothing was more surreal than his reponse “you’ve got to be kidding me!” why do i think that kid’s gonna show up on America’s Most Wanted some day down the road? oy. as for not showing the William Hung audition? hey, even *I* know where to draw the line! xox

slow cruisin’ through the blogosphere today — either this video has scared the living crap out of everyone, or offended you all so much you can’t bring yourselves to comment. (i mean, it can’t be because it’s a holiday and therefore no one’s around, can it?) 🙂

Comment by snuppy-oh-lay-oh-hee

Agree with CYM…most interesting part of Idol is when they showcase those delusional among us who sucketh. This guy was plain scary. Idol time already…where did the year go?

Comment by BoBo

I can sing in the key of suck! I just may have to watch a bit this season after all, it is a cultural phenomenon. Okay I’m on a revolving door today and it’s swinging outward once again, but I had to swing in and say Helllllooo! I’ll drop in later.

What a miserable gray day here, me thinks I need a TGSL. Okay TTFN to one and all.

Comment by Lampy

But you should see him dance….

Comment by Diesel

Oh, my. I wonder how he even got an audition?
I never watch, but I’ve seen snippets of American Idol here and there, and I think the judges are mighty annoying. Just an opinion. And I’m afraid that I might be allergic to watching Fox.

Happy Monday!

Comment by actonbell

I thought he was slinky.

Comment by Walela

That’s the part of American Idol I hare and can’t manage to watch…I just can’t manage to watch people humiliate and embarras themselves. I do turn into American Idol from time to time AFTER all that uncomfortable auditioning stuff…and by the way, Jennifer Hudson of “DreamGirls” has a lot of Oscar buzz and was an American Idol contestant. See, I like those feel good stories much better than those sad ones.

Comment by Square-ish Girl

CYM: oh dearest amiga! (who has a NEW LONG-ASSED-AND-MIGHTY-HEART-BREAKING-YET-EXTREMEMLY FABOO POST UP, EVEN AS I TYPE) as Joel said, watching the “bad” American Idol wannabes is as “good” (tho’ mighty uncomfortable) as it gets for us. the rest we can definitely do without. sending you MANY BESOS my friend, in hopes your dental woes/life in Spain will soon be over! (meaning feel better/get your sweet BoheMian ass back to San Francisco!!) xox

BoBo: i hate to say it, but i worry we’ll be seeing that guy’s mug shot one of these days next to the words “Wanted: Dead or Alive, performing lewd and lacivious acts with an ugly turtleneck sweater”. hey, it could happen… xox

Lampy: you? i don’t think so, NBFF. i doubt anyone, ANYONE could top this kid, not even William Hung singing in unison with Wing would sound as bad as Keith. he’s as suck as it gets. xox

Diesel: unfortunately, he WAS allowed to dance when he auditioned — which we saw on FOX, but YouTube has higher standards, hence, that part was edited out. xox

Actonbell: we should all be allergic to watching FOX. and, were it not for House and The Simpsons (well, the older shows, the last few seasons haven’t been so hot) i wouldn’t NEVER tune in. (okay, maybe we’ll take a peek at the AI auditions, but that’s it!) xox

Walela: who? that kid? or Simon? (you don’t fool me, bub. you know you love it… i hear you bought a TiVo for the express purpose of recording the show while you’re out of town.) xox

Comment by snuppy

Square-ish Girl: oops! we were commenting at the same time! actually, i agree with you — i feel so sorry for some of those delusional people i can’t stand to watch. but the truth is many of them honestly believe they have talent, so i figure the judges are doin’ them a favor by being so brutally “honest”. we watched the season Jennifer Hudson was a contestant, and were shocked when she was voted off. she’s got a fantastic voice — and i’m sure she deserves all the praise she’s been getting for her performance in Dream Girls (can’t wait to see it) xox

Comment by snuppy

I’ve never seen that song done better. Just sayin’

Comment by Walela

[…] IDOL stage (yes, Virginia, it’s that time of the year, again) like we did on this date, last year? Yeah, we thought so, […]

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