From the scary place that is LBP’s mind. You’ve been warned.
It truly amazes me at what young minds pick up. My friend’s three year old snarked back at her when she asked him how he knew something (can’t remember what) “Duh, Mom, I watch tv y’know.” Truthfully had he been mine, “Not anymore” might have come from my mouth.
On Sunday I hit the mall with my brother. I think this is the first time since we had to go to the mall with our mom as kids that I’ve been shopping with Bro. He woke me up at 9:30 that morning and said “Good morning, lovely sister.” Lovely sister grunted in response. “Do you know what your nephew said this morning?” “Let Auntie sleep in?” “Nope. Hey, let’s take Auntie to the mall. Hey buddy, wanna say hi to Auntie.” Manipulation!!! Raspy breathing comes into the phone and I realized that I was going to be going to the mall. “Hi Auntie.” “Hi baby.” More breathing then the phone is dropped. Damn. “Yeah yeah, I’ll be ready.” “Great! We’ll do Petland first.”
Swell. I hang up, crawl across the bed while muttering about brothers who use unfair tactics to get me out of bed. It is a well known fact that I will say no to my little brother. My nephew? Mm not so much. Yeah yeah, Auntie Sucker. Shut up.
Off we go to Petland and nephew makes a beeline for the display where a rabbit is hopping around. “Bunny.” He looks at me. “Up we go.” Right then and there I started to laugh. All throughout the store: “Up we go.” Then came the battle to get the container of crickets away from him before he opened it. Aaaaahck!! The, ugh, snake being carried around. Can we go back to the fluffy bunnies and kitten who had eyed us with sleepy blue eyes? Why yes…yes we can when the little guy makes a break for it. And forget my brother trying to pick him up. Everytime he did, my guy would go limp and call for me. Ha! Favorite. Yessssss!
Fast forward: The Bay. Bro is buying my sister-in-law a birthday present and off my guy and I go. Right next to the jewellry is the lingerie. Well. We had to walk past the nylon panties 50 times so he could run his hand over them. Hi Mr. Eye-in-the-Sky! Meet my pervy little 2 year old nephew! (My brother beamed with pride when I relayed this.) Then we hit the nightgowns as he declared his colors then upon finding some velour nightgown/housecoat/something he said “It’s cute.” I looked at him. “What?” He beamed and then every time he took a bra (even long johns in plastic bags were subjected to this) off the rack: “It’s cute. Cuuuute. It’s cute!” Then came the moment of the day: “It’s cute! Right size?” (And actually every bra plucked free was cute. Wrong size though.)
Someone is spending waaaaay too much time with his mom in the lingerie department.
In case you’re wondering about the video. It’s a clip from How I Met Your Mother…see the whole thing in all its face slapping glory here. Gonna rock your body ’til Canada Day!!
Ha! I bet by the title you thought I was going to talk about penises. Yeesh, it’s about my nephew you pervs.
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