TRUST us, we have reasons for thinking the following video is appropriate for today, beyond the obvious “hey, this is kind of an opposite to the bluesy fabulousness of Grace Potter and the Nocturnals that DJ LAMPSHA treated us to over the weekend”. We’ve provided a few of our thoughts on today’s post below, in no particular order of importance. Please let us know if these suck, because we can always make up a few more:
1. Today is a Big Important Holiday* in the United States. President’s Day, to be exact. We can only assume this particular day was selected out of 365 possibilities because 2 of America’s greatest leaders were born in this month: Lincoln (12th) and Washington (22nd) — so we figure the legislators decided to split the “birthday difference” and picked a day inbetween. Math skills are, apparently, not necessary, when applying for a job in government, so we’re sure someone said , “Hey, let’s make it for the 19th!” and everyone else said “Huzzah, huzzah” (“huzzah” being the congressional way of saying “Party on, dude!”)**. Uh… where were we? Oh yeah, so today is President’s Day.
2. We didn’t want to re-share the George Washington Video we used a few months ago, which was hilarious and would have been so perfect for today and how stupid are we for not waiting until now to use it, anyway? Color us maroon, gang, for that’s what we are.
3. We really wanted to share THIS VIDEO (from Fark TV)– because it’s hilarious, too, but since it’s not yet available on YouTube and we are maroons (see above) we couldn’t figure out how to paste it directly onto this page.
3. Yesterday was the start of the Chinese New Year — the year of the “Golden Pig”. We think that’s very cool. So, in hopes of doing something “Chinese New Year”-related, we did a little free form association, but somehow, by the time we were through, pigs turned into boars which turned into bores which became presidents (boring in all ways only a President worth his weight in salt pork can be) and we were back in President’s Day Square One. (We’d like to provide a helpful graph showing exactly how we accomplished this feat, but that would require math skills we only pretend to have.)
5. North Korean leader Kim Jong-Gong-Bong Il turned 65 on Friday, and the entire country rose to celebrate the ocassion with, um, fireworks, and celebratory songs of, er celebration, and cake. From what we’ve heard, he’s a rotton pig. A ronery rotton pig, but a pig, nonetheless. Oh, and a president. Who enjoys celebratory songs of, er, celebration.
6. Marilyn Monroe sang the best ever celebratory song of Presidential Birthday Celebration, ever. (this is one of the cleanest copies we’ve been able to find of her memorable performance, making it all the more enjoyable to watch)
Desite the depiction at the top of the page, we have no reason to believe George Washington was gay. We just like that picture because it made us think of the extremely clever/funny post DIESEL wrote last week — which led us to remember he was due to write another one, tomorrow. That sound you just heard above Diesel’s groan of dismay was our collective sigh of relief — and has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with the daily pains of coming up with fodder for this blog. (heh, we said “coming”)
HEY, if anyone is really interested in reading something related to George Washington today, someone WE CALL AL (it is his name, what else would we call him, Fred?) has a fabulous post up rightthisminute. (Considering the fact that his post already has a
shitload bunch of comments, we’re guessing most of you already know this, and are laughing behind our blog-tardy backs, even as we type)
* That’s a lie from the pits of hell.
** Also a lie. The day was picked in not-so-random fashion as a means of ensuring government workers had a 3-day weekend. Because that’s just how much our country cares about it’s employees (since they’re often the only ones to benefit from these things).
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