Filed under: guest who?
It always feels like a confession, because whenever I mention my real profession people look at me in one of two ways:
1. Like I just kicked them in the groin while they weren’t looking.
2. Like I just French kissed a rabid aardvark.
In other words, people either hate me because of what I represent or cannot fathom why I choose to do what I do. So, in an effort to give back to the countless people who have been wronged by their 7th Grade math experience and in an effort to explain my curious choice of vocation, I have decided to author a math textbook. Here’s the catch: I am endeavoring to make my textbook….wait for it…..interesting to students. Trust me, this is a truly groundbreaking idea in the field of mathematics textbooks. I will likely win some sort of Prestigious Math Award if I am able to pull this off. And, not to be self-serving, but have you seen what textbooks are selling for these days?!?
Anyhow, to accomplish my goal, I spent some time watching television programs and listening to music that teenagers would listen to. Here are a few of the questions that I have created based on my research. Answers can be found at the bottom of the post.
1. a) Create a graph where the x-axis represents time and the y-axis represents the ratings of the television show “The O.C.”
b) Create a graph with the same x-axis, but this time let the y-axis represent the quality level of “The O.C.” over that same time period.
2. Take the amount of dollars represented in 50 Cent’s name and multiply it by the two-digit number found in the name of the group that performed “It’s Hard Out There for a Pimp”. Raise your answer to the power equal to the average number of music videos MTV plays during a given day. What is the final result?
3. If the average talentless socialite weighs 80 pounds, what percentage of her entire body mass is synthetic products?
4. Which of the following ratios reflect values over 100%?
a) Kevin Federline’s actual minutes of fame OVER The 15 minutes of fame everyone supposed he had coming to him a few years ago.
b) The number of male Hollywood-types who have “done” Paris Hilton OVER the number of male Hollywood-types who have claimed to have “done” Paris Hilton.
c) The number of songs performed by American Idol finalists that were hits OVER the number of songs performed by American Idol finalists that would have been considered by record labels had they been sung by someone other than an American Idol finalist.
d) All of the above.
5. Create a circle graph that compares the amount of original material in the song “Fergielicious” by Fergie to the amount of material in the song that borrowed heavily from Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl”
2. [0.5(36)]^0 = 1 (Anything raised to the power of zero results in one. You didn’t even have to know that an Organization called “The Thirty-Six Mafia” sang the song in question).
3. 20/80 = .25 or 25%
4. d) All of the above
Only a few hundred questions to go!
Humor-blogs.com is divisible by zero.
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