Central Snark

Pssst! by Snuppy
Monday, 5 March 2007, 10:13am
Filed under: happy happy

gossipWHATEVER you think you’ve heard, think again. Trust us, that tale of our so-called “misstep” is nothing more than a rotten lie from the bloody pits of hell. We’ve been a good blog. Honest. More likely than not, that rumor you heard was about one of our FRIENDS (we all know what kind of a person she is). Trust us, our virtual virtue is intact. So, if we promise to keep up our cheerful façade (which masks the glass box of emotion we often find ourselves locked up in), will you promise to come by a bit more often and/or say “howdy do” to us? Plese say “yes”, otherwise, we may just gather up all the wonderful CD’s featuring the amazing music we’ve been listening to lately — thanks to our dear NBFF, the beautiful and brilliant DJ LAMPSHA (best Saturday Spinner, ever) — and make like a cow pie (and hit the trail), never to darken this URL with our font, crappy videos, and/or dumb jokes, again. Don’t think you won’t miss us when we’re gone, because you will. (you better, otherwise what would be the point of us putting ourselves through that trouble?)

OKAY. So maybe we’re just tired (of not getting comments). And when we get tired, we get silly (no duh). Never more so than after watching one of the stellar “cautionary educational videos” created back in the 1950’s by well-meaning-though-scary-no-doubt-gave-kids-nightmares producer, SID DAVIS, a man we’re sure meant well, but really? After watching any one of his films, it’s a wonder any parent allowed their child out of the womb, let alone house. Not that ‘ol Sid wasn’t well intentioned, but we think everyone knows where Good Intention Street leads, and, last time we looked, it was no where near Starbucks (be nice if it did).

EH, screw Sid (may he rest in peace near nary a stranger) and his little dog, too. If you want to keep believing all those lies about us, go ahead. See if we care. Maybe you’ve heard better things about DIESEL (from his imaginary friend). Go see him. And, while you’re there, VOTE for one of those so-called “funny posts” in his hilariously named Funny Post Contest (see if you can find the best “post” — we believe we did, and we laughed and laughed and laughed.) And, hey, if you like him so much, why don’t you listen to him chat with some guy known as The Jay! about a lot of stuff we don’t know about tonight, around 7-ish (Pacific time). See if we care (we don’t, we’ll be listening, too). If you play our cards right, he might then be more willing to show up here tomorrow in order to entertain you with another winning-not-whining posts of his own. Wouldn’t that be nice? (yes, very)

Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to go take a shower–something we like to do after whoring for another blog. Which, now that we think about it, may be the kind of thing that triggered such ugly gossip about us in the first place.



15 Comments so far
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no one’s in a snit today — and no one’s gossiping about any of us (as far as we know). rather than try to come up with something clever and/or “musically opposite” to the grand (and fabulous and amazing) artist (MATISYAHU) that Lampsha shared over the weekend, i just thought i’d do something different(ish). what can i say? any excuse to share one of these funny “educational videos”… xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

No playing on the freeway and no eating worms! Love the snark and love that video too! Happy Monday…it only gets better from here.

Comment by BoBo

Well, I’m not one to talk but…well until I can watch this video and understand that gossiping is bad, I have to go talk to myself by the water cooler. It’s a nice way to start the day.

Let me know which trail you’re setting off on, I’m sure we can find a Starbucks somewhere! XOX

Comment by LAMPSHA

Morning, snarksters,
do you really even TRY to stay out of trouble?
I didn’t think so.
That explains why I like you all so much.

Comment by logo™

we all know what kind of a person she is

Amazingly creative?

Comment by littlebluepill

“The old fake tire”. Ah yes. How nefarious in getting rid of the competition. And that Christine. What a biatch. But I hear Christine has a serious case of VD that she got from Jack.

But you didn’t hear that from me.

Comment by littlebluepill

Oh everyone knows trouble finds them!!!

I can’t believe its Monday already!!

Comment by cj

Well that was very educational and so modern in its approach too 🙂

I love the title to this post very much… most often syou round them up quite nicely, these little posts. Bravo!

Comment by Penguin

OK!!! Guilty….not of gossip…no guilty of neglect.
Gossip is bad, bad, bad….I think I saw this video when I was in HS….not that I am that old 😉
So here I am again….not that I have not been here all along….well mostly all.
What was the point again “El Losto” which is nothing new…so how are you doing? Are you looking at me?

Comment by Mo'a The Artist

I can’t watch the movie until tonight, but I understand they’re opening a second Starbucks where the primrose path of good intentions leads, so thats good news.

What was that all about?

Comment by Walela

Did I hear someone say gossip is monopolized by women? Hardly! That’s the kind of scurrilous rumor you hear at the beauty salon.

I love it when you talk about my funny post, Puppy.

Comment by Diesel

Bobo: aw… once we make it past Monday, it’s all downhill, right? (right) no worms. no freeways. no flat tires. and, uh… no idle gossip (especially during Heroes, the ONLY thing that keeps Monday’s bearable!) xox

Lampsha: talk to and/or about yourself, but try not to say anything you might feel the need to share with some sweatered-set babe in a poodle skirt, later. (you know how snipy those bitches can be) 😉 xox

logo™: the only thing that would make our “trouble-getting-into” MORE fun would be if you were around to share in it with us, more often! mwah! and mwah! girlfriend! xox

LBP: yes ma’am, yes, uh-huh, yeah baby, a’yup, and SI SI SENORITA! (i had a feeling that creep Jack was full of something, i just thought it was shit and/or gossip. that bastard!) xox

CJ: is it Monday? i hadn’t noticed. (finally have the CORRECT link to your blog. now, promise me you’re going to stay put… at least until after your upcoming birthday!) 😉 xox

Penguin: well, this post is part of our ongoing PSBA (public service blog announcement. or something like that). heh… i believe these videos should give you grand insight into the reasons we do and say many of the things we do, and, er… say. or not. 🙂 xox

Mo’a: i’ve heard that about you. (been gone all day, myself, my friend. i believe i owe YOU a visit, and i shall try to do just that as soon as i wrap up here!) xox

Walela: further justification for curmudgeonliness, for one. silliness, for another. 🙂 xox

Diesel: is that what you heard last time YOU were at the beauty parlor? as for making fun of your post? hey, better me than Mrs. Diesel, right? (right) oh, and GOOD LUCK/BE FUNNY/MAKE US PROUD/DON’T EMBARRASS US with The Jay! tonite! xox

Comment by snuppy

I just watched the movie. The end is worth it.

Comment by Walela

Psssst…I just heard Diesel was getting his own radio show – or he was on one. Not important, just pass it on. Or maybe he’s going to be in like a movie or something – a Steven Segal movie – that’s it!

Comment by LAMPSHA

So Jean ended up with a “happy ending” – slut!

Comment by LAMPSHA

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