Filed under: whatevers
HAHAHA. Sometimes we crack ourselves up. Oh sure, we know we’re the only ones laughing here, but we don’t care. Yesterday that clever lad, DIESEL, shared a few fine and funny thoughts about TV shows that have “Jumped the Shark” and/or “bit the broadcast dust”, and well, for this “hump” day we decided to skip past the bandwagon (or boat, as the case may be) and into the snark by pointing out some of our favorite-now-cancelled programs that most definitely did NOT attempt to ski over anything remotely resembling a shark. Heck, as far as we can tell, there wasn’t so much as a freaking tadpole in the pool when these shows went under, much to our chagrin and/or viewing dismay. Bear with us, because this might… ***
WE interrupt this post with another post that isn’t really a post, but more of a public service. Well, it is if you count our sister as part of the “public”, which we do. Last year, one of us spent way too much time watching/writing about AMERICAN IDOL, and because one person asked us to do it again, we’ve decided we will. That said, we’ll be brief, because, well, we’re afraid you’ll go away if this turns into a long/boring dissertation about something you care as much about as a rat’s ass. Also, after ONE viewing, it seems pretty clear we won’t have to watch again until sometime in May, because there are only 2 “real” contestants and 10 kids who probably sound okay in the shower.
IDOL OBSERVATIONS: Over the last few years, AI producers have deemed it “good TV” to provide the contestants with “mentoring” from some of the finest musicians in the world. Unfortunately, none of those folks were available for this first “big” night, so the honor was given to Diana Ross. Oh, not that she’s not a big deal (have you seen her hair?) but, um, armed with 4 decades of experience, the most helpful tips the diva gave included: “Pronounce-iate and project“, “use a mic stand“, “people in the audience are really real“, and “try to sing the melody, because this is a song“. No wonder she’s remained on top of the recording heap all these years, because that advice was solid gold.
Brandon, Chris, Phil, Blake, Chris: Buh-bye, boys. Don’t let the stage door hit ya on your way out. (By the way, Blake? Justin Timberlake called, he wants his “look” back. Tell Chris).
Sanjaya: Bless your heart, behind that penis lies a very pretty girl. But we don’t think you could sing your way out of a pair of panty hose. Ciao.
Gina: Gina Gina Gina…
Haley: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your singing sucked, And that was the ugliest dress we’ve ever seen in our lives, and it looked terrible on you.
Stephanie: You seem nice.
Melinda & LaKisha: Wow. And, WOWIE.
Jordin: When the judges review last night’s show, they’ll realize they told you a lie from the pits of hell, because you were not good, missy. Not. Good.
That’s it. As we said before, we’ll be back in May to tell you if we think Melinda or LaKisha will win. (Right now, our money’s on LaKisha) ***
WE now return you to our regularly scheduled post — already in progress…
…never our intention to burden anyone with such a long post, let alone another pesky video*. That said, we do have a tiny one we’d like to share, which we believe nicely supports our contention that, along with a handful of fine programs no longer on the air due to some ratings “technicality” (no viewers? what are we, chopped liver?), ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT didn’t deserve the broadcast boot after such a short run. With its great writing, great cast, and, above all else, hilarious interpretations of of the chicken dance, this was, in our humble opinion, one of the best shows, ever:
*Not to worry, now that Viacom is suing YouTube for a kajillion dollars, it won’t be long before we’ll be unable to show you anything more exciting than home movies of our latest trip to Bed, Bath, Infinity, and Beyond. Stay tuned.
Despite the absence of chicken dancers, we have it on (fairly) good authority you’ll find laughs-a-plenty on HUMOR-BLOGS.COM.
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