Central Snark

Pabcreas? by Snuppy
Thursday, 15 March 2007, 9:16am
Filed under: cracks us up

spamIF this is Thursday, then the crap we found in our inbox must be Spam. Pity, at least one of these items sounded promising — not to mention très continental. Ah well, no time to worry about Japanese duck women and/or “get rich quick-ish” schemes, when we have other, more pressing matters on our minds. For one thing, we’re up to our eyeballs trying to finish up our Spring cleaning before anyone has a chance to stop by and take a peek in our “storage area” (aka, the guest room).

All this to say, we’re in the midst of tidying up the place, and figured we’d share one or two more linky gems with you before tossing ’em in the garbage bin, along with that adorable dress featuring giant shoulder pads we’ve been hanging on to since 1989. Oh yeah, Big Mike? Take a chill pill, dude. We’ll try to answer your question about “girls fighting” next time around.

niktjch: Free Asian Daily Porn Video! Save Us Hard-earned American Cash!

Picturbikpi: gallery mature Japanese duck women. We, um, er, that is… uh, thanks, but we prefer immature Japanese duck women. Easier to train.

Sabina: Wow ;)) supersite & guestbook. I will put references on my sites for Asian catgirls. Wow *< What happens when you put catgirls in the same room with “mature” duck women? (Big Mike wants to know) 

Inez Wells: Thank for this impressive content. I will tell everyone about you. You tell anyone about us, bitch, and we will SO sic our duck women and/or catgirls on your scrawny little ass, and let Big Mike watch. That’s not a threat, missy, that’s a promise.

My name is Mbhali Chandler, undergoing medical treatment in Johannesburg South Africa. I am married to Dr. Robert Chandler who worked with British Judicial Commission in England before his death on the 5th July 2003. He made a vow to use his wealth for the less privileged. He deposited the sum of 10 Million Pounds with one Security Company in Europe. Presently, this money is still with the Company. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next 4 months due to a rare form of cancer of the pabcreas but what distubs me most is my stroke. I have decided to donate this fund to a God fearing person who will utilize it as my husband wished. Direct your response to this email for more information and for sake of confidentiality.

WELL, who are we to look a gift South African horse worth 10 Million Pounds in the pabcreas? That stroke distubs us, too, Mbhali, for without it, we have no doubt you’d have had time to more fully realize your dream of extricating those funds from One Security Company in Europe. We thank our lucky stars you recognized us to be the God-fearing blog we are on any given day. We will be happy to wrench those funds out of your husband’s cold-dead fingers in order to place them inside our less privileged pocketbooks. Assuming you’re able to keep that Doctor of yours from thwarting our greedy philanthropic efforts, that is. For the sake of confidentiality, we will direct this email to a place where no one will see it. Including you.

can of whoop assTHAT’S it from today’s can of Spam and/or whoop-ass. Not to worry, we don’t plan to make a habit of posting crap like this, but sometimes, when we’re in the middle of something time-consuming and/or mind-boggling (why do we still have bank statements from 1974?) we grab at the first amusing thing that catches our eye and/or cracks us up. Smart people make stuff like this up all the time. Thanks to our handy-dandy Askimet Spamcatcher®, we don’t have to.

FINALLY: today is “Get Yerself a Free Cup of Coffee” Day at STARBUCKS. That’s not what they’re calling it, but they don’t write for this blog, so screw them. Oh yeah, and once you’re back at your happy little desk with your happy little cup of free cafè, do yourself a favor, and check out “Get Yerself a Free Laugh” Day on HUMOR-BLOGS.COM. Don’t make us call Big Mike.



12 Comments so far
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my day is, thus far, going to hell in a duck woman’s handbag. No heat. No hot water. Sick cat. uh… kid who’s 20 minutes late for work and STILL not out of bed. and, did i mention the No HOT water?? aieeee.

anyway — with all that on my mind, is it any wonder i resorted to such cheap posting tricks? as for our spam catcher, the only other one that cracked me up was from Justin Timberlake. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE?? yeah, that was weird. funny… but weird. xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Japanese Duck Women? Prrrrrrrrrrr.

Comment by Doug

Free coffee day from Starbucks?? My my my I am so out of the loop these days! Too bad it wasn’t free TGSNWM day or Free Cupcake day?


Comment by cj

Doug: somehow i thought that might catch your eye and/or fancy 😉 xox

CJ: well, it’s not as tho’ you have anything else on your mind at the moment, right? (mmmm. free TGSNWM’s *and* cupcakes. sign me up!) xox

Comment by snuppy

Too much quacking, Snup.

Comment by Doug

Doug: yeah, sometimes i quack myself up — what can i say? i’m my biggest fan (good thing, too, since no one else seems to appreciates my “unique” sense of humor on any given day!) xox

Comment by snuppy

Hilarious! Loved the South African cancer of the pabcreas with a stroke thrown in for good measure. How does that ever work??

Comment by Claire

Dear Mrs. Chandler:

I am a G-d fearing person. In fact I have a lot of fears, least of all is one that I shall die destitute. I am sorry about your pabreas and all, but seeing the pounds won’t do you much good in your present condition (did you say stroke?), I am applying for same.

Can you make it in unmarked bills and say have someone meet me at an undisclosed Starbucks – I’ll buy you a free coffee.

Fearfully yours,

Princess DJ Lampsha


Your post is hilarious from start to finish, Duck Women and all. I appreciate you from afar and never got a chance to say so until now. I’m clearing my schedule in work to be off for a few days.

Comment by LAMPSHA

I’m laughing so hard my pabcreas hurts.

Comment by Diesel

My pabcreas are itching, is that normal?

I never get these delightful offers for 10 million pounds and I live in Europe. *pouts*

And snuppy…the weather is trying to tell you something! It is snowing and cold, therefore not spring, stop CLEANING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all my best, Monika

Comment by Penguin

Can someone please tell me what’s going on? I responded to Mrs. Chandler before I realized what was going on. After that I started to get more emails like this…I’m in the US and veeeery curious…so this is normal and a hoax? Please help. tanealnewartist@yahoo.com

Comment by Guest

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