YOWIE. Imagine our surprise when we got in today and discovered that, while we were away, DIESEL had turned his happy little corner of the Snark Park into a veritable comment cachepot. Honestly, that guy garnered so many glowing/flowery responses to his post-tips (like a post-it, only not as sticky and/or yellow), we couldn’t find a place to park for the better part of an hour (about 7 minutes, because we’re nothing, if not impatient). Knowing Diesel has an abundance of hilarious things to write about, we considered sifting through his SOCK DRAWER, in hopes of finding some darn inspiration for ourselves, until it occured to us we didn’t need his stinking socks and/or his drawer.
Okay, so maybe we do need those things, but we asked ourselves how we’d feel if A) we failed to knit together a post even 1/67th as amusing as our favorite Mattress Cop does on a regular basis, in which case B) not only would no one leave 28 comments for us, but C) the number of “hits” would go down from 492 to 14. Then we wondered D) why we keep asking ourselves stupid questions, and E) where did we put our medication, as well as F) will those white coat guys show up before we’re through writing because G) we’d love to get a few comments, maybe even 28, before the end of the day, but H) hell if that’s gonna happen if I) we can’t finish writing. Of course, maybe J) someone will get worried and K) call our mom, who will surely panic (Shirley) because she never knows where we are, let alone L) what we’ve been up to since M) 1974. That’s when N) we got that apartment with O) our sister in P) Fresno so we could Q) go to college, and R) be close to our boyfriend, who was really cute, but such a S) slacker. Glad we finally T) dumped his sorry ass and joined the U) band. Ah good times, but not as good as the time we had reading V) Diesel’s hilarious post and/or W) all those comments. That is, of course, until we X) remembered we had to add all those new folks to the side-bar, and Y) realized that doing so would involve actual work, which we hate.
THEN we found out KEITH RICHARDS snorted his dad’s ashes, our minds were blown and Z) we had to lay down. Don’t mind us, we’re not bitter about Diesel’s post and/OR all those comments, but we plan to play it that way for the balance of the day, in hopes a few of you will feel sorry for us and overlook the fact that — once again — we failed to meet our daily requirements for actual blog content.
YOU want content? We’re guessing you’ll find it at HUMOR-BLOGS.COM — just try to get there before Keith Richards does, otherwise the whole thing might go up in one giant and/or hilarious puff of smoke.
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