Central Snark

Video Games by Snuppy
Thursday, 5 April 2007, 9:33am
Filed under: FYI (ish), lists

pacmanTOP 5 Reasons Video Games are Evil (or, Why giving your child unlimited access to the computer and/or video games is a bad idea):

5. Too Expensive ~ some games cost more than a week’s worth of groceries. Others come with payment plans. And some require a signature in blood — avoid those at all costs (all costs? heh).

4. Extremely Annoying ~ kids stay inside/underfoot/in front of the TV, making it impossible for you to watch soaps/make prank calls/blog/get drunk/take naps.

3. Language Barriers ~ not necessarily graphic, just confusing. All your base are belong to us? What the hell does that mean??

2. Incomprehensible and/or Complicated ~ seriously, some of these games are just plain pull-out-your-hair/bang-your-head-on-the-table/poke-out-your-eyes hard. We know. We’ve tried to play ’em, and we suck. Not that we’re bitter, but still… shouldn’t we be good at something besides Pong?

1. Holy Shit Bloody/Scary Violence ~ the characters, the actions, and, in some cases…

Instead of buying video games, why not send your little ones to humor-blogs.com? That way they’ll leave you alone, and you can get back to all those “important” things waiting for you on TV/your computer and/or your couch.



14 Comments so far
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no reason for this particular post, aside from the fact that the kid in this video freaked me out. also, we bought our kids their first Nintendo system when they were pretty young, and now that they’re grown, they still live at home and continue to play shit-loads of video-games in the basement — causing us to wonder if we should have waited until they LEFT home before indulging them in something so expensive and/or addictive. (although i DO like a good game of Tetris now and then…and Super Mario Brothers AND Zelda are still pretty darn fun, too!) xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Who knew that first Nintendo game box we stupidly purchased back in…what was it…1959…would have opened the pandora’s box of video game addiction that it did in our house. But wait…who was the family member that became addicted to Link? Hint: Not one of the children.

Very funny post and very scary video (are you sure that wasn’t one of our “kids?”)

Comment by BoBo

I have never played a video game in my entire life. But your post here makes me even more eager to go on ebay and buy me some violence and sex. Yea me. 😛

Comment by Brian

So did you notice that I was missing?

What I notice is that I can read the comments on this blog on Internet Explorer…..so now I also have Fire Fox…installed it for this blog 🙂 Well…it may and may not be a coincidence but right after I installed FF my computer started having hiccups…I am considering adopting the tech help…well I talked with them so much that they might as well be family…so now two weeks later I am back.

So did you notice? My, my a month or so of no posts can make you feel like you drop off the radar.

Oh!!! and about this post….hillarious…you, yourself and you are effing funny 😉

Comment by Mo'a

Just think, if Ritalin had been invented in 1938, World War II could have been prevented.

Comment by Diesel

I am very afraid of the effects the computer has on the kids – that zombie like look, the antisocial behavior, the…wait a minute, I resemble this remark! Of course, Julian has an educational game that gets hooked up to the TV which he refers to as his gameboy. That’s right, play with your gameboy. With Tali, whatever little games she’s scared up for free on her sites or with her TAMAGOTCHI are all we’ll go with for now.

I shall stand firm in my resolve to keep us all technologically repressed. XOX

Comment by LAMPSHA

If ya can’t beat ’em, join ’em ala Guitar Hero. I play all the time and it is not too difficult. There is easy/med for the old folks and hard/expert for the younguns. Football guy was home last week for break and playing God of War II, so he could beat it for the third time. Incomprehensible, I say!! But we can all play Guitar Hero and actually have fun w/o blood and guts flying, dripping and streaming. Whoohaa

Comment by Claire

Hear ye, hear ye!!!

You do not want me playing any video games at all… AT ALL I SAY!!!

Not unless you can stand the sound of my constant shrieks everytime I get killed or hit… falling out of my chair as I attempt to punch the bad guys from my seat rather than using the control/joystick/WTF are they called nowadays/thingamajigs is common as is my throwing the just-mentioned thingajamig unto the floor and so nope… no more… we have a plasma TV and it is very likely that the thingamajig will get flung at said TV and then I will really be in deep shit!

And can you believe my fave game is Tetris? I behave with Tetris but anything else must be banned, BANNED I tell you!

Faboo post my sweet friend and oh so funny! It most definitely had Loverboy nodding his head along and pointing at me when I read it to him! *sigh* Oh well! I guess I shall stick to blogging!

Besos from one who misses you oh so mucho!!!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

Hihihihi……..I had that video on my site a while back.
On behalf of every German fibre in my body: I do apologize for the obsene language, some of it has been mildly translated at best!

I guess hitting my computer whenever it shut down or disconnects me is not a good start either 🙂


Comment by Penguin

BoBo: it was 1989 and the Link addict was YOU, not me. oh wait… heh heh. maybe i did get a little too obsessed for a minute or two, but for a good reason! what was to become of Zelda if he didn’t make it through that forest in time? oh, i shudder to think of the consequences… xox

Brian: you are wise to stay as FAR away from such things as is humanly possible. that said, there are a few reallyreally fun online games you might enjoy… 😉 xox

Mo’a: are you kidding me? OF COURSE i noticed! i figured you and Heineken were off somewhere celebrating 34 beautiful years of marriage. you mean you WEREN’T doing just that?? oy. all i know is it’s GRAND to see you back, dear friend! you were missed. you are always missed whenever you go away! xox

Diesel: Ritalin®, Zoloft®, and Thorazine®… (but only if the little “r’s” were there, otherwise they wouldn’t have been official and/or as effective.) actually, that comment caused me to spew my tea all over the computer. fortunately i remembered to take my meds this morning, so it was all good, and no keys have been hurt in the writing of this response. xox

Lampsha: anytime you need to reinforce that resolve, give me a call — i got a million reasons for why you must keep your kids “techno” free for as long as possible, and i have the receipts to back up each and every one of ’em! that said, Tamogotchi are pretty darn cute… (don’t laugh, but we have 2) 😉 xox

Claire: step away from the computer… hah! just kidding. my son has introduced me to more than a few excellent games that held my attention, that is, until i manage to beat them. once conquered, they are never allowed to darken my screen again. except for THIS GAME, because once you beat it, it’s fun to try and improve on your score. Must… Kill… Those… Creeps…. xox

CYM: laughing as i imagine you throwing things at your TV. hahaha! based on that comment, i’m thinking a Wii might be in your future — at least those things are interactive. not that i would know this from my own experience, because they are VERY hard to find/buy (damn those folks at Nintendo, anyway!). not the least bit surprised to learn you lovelovelove Tetris — my only problem with that game is that, after a while, i start trying to “fit” everything in the house together! yikes! and *blushity blush* for your kind words, dearest amiga. funny? heh. ’tis only the product of a brain lacking in sleep and/or any other good ideas for the day! I MISS YOU, TOO!!!!! xox

Penguin: you posted this? d’oh! how did i miss that? my son (yes, YOU know which son i’m talking about — the one who suffers from delusions of coming to Iceland to “hang out” with you sometime soon) and i kind of tripped over it the other day, and i thought it was hilarious-yet-scary… i should have known you’d have seen it already. as one with German blood flowing through her own veins, i know for a fact this kid does not represent the bulk of the population. oh, and thanks for explaining why our laptop no longer works. who knew blogging brought out such “expressive” emotion from an otherwise lovely/funny/seemingly even-tempered Penguin? certainly not us! (do we MISS you? we do. we really do. come back and break another computer. we don’t mind. especially since it’ll be one of our kids’…) xox

Comment by snuppy

Huh. Otherwise, he seems like a great kid.

Comment by Crunchy BC

Reminds me of Dudley Dursley (in one of the HARRY POTTER books he gets so angry he throws his Play-Station out the window and can’t play “Mega-Mutilation 3” anymore).

Comment by weirsdo

See? This is what makes B.F. Skinner was a prophet.

Comment by Doug

My children have an antique playstation one.
They mostly seem to not be that interested in it,
That kid frightens me.

Comment by logo™

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