So last week I gave you some advice on how to promote your blog, and the week before that I told you how to be funny. That’s pretty much all you need to know, so I’m not sure why you’re still here. I’m not hiding Easter eggs up my ass, if that’s what you’re thinking. Not after last year’s debacle.
Actually, the more astute among you may have realized that I was being somewhat facetious (not to mention downright grumpy) in my blogging advice. On the bright side, if you were dumb enough to follow my advice, then you probably don’t… what? Hey, come back! Oh, I see. You got distracted by the bright side. Come on, over here. That’s right, focus. Good. I know you have trouble with shiny objects. My mistake.
Here, let me make it up to you by giving you some real advice this time. No, really. I’m going to tell you how to be funny.
First of all, aim low. Stupid people will laugh at anything. For example, Johnny Hart, the creator of the comic strip B.C. just died. I know, very sad. But the bright side is… hey, come back! As I was saying, the bright side is that at least newspapers will stop printing that godawful comic strip that hasn’t been funny since… well, since B.C. Right? RIGHT?!!
Sadly there is no bright side. They’re going to continue the strip with someone else writing it. Which means that my assumption that newspaper editors have simply been humoring an old man for the past few millennia was mistaken. Apparently people actually LIKE B.C. Which means that people think that this is funny:
And trust me, I didn’t spend hours searching for the worst B.C. comic I could find. They’re ALL like this. And now, thanks to the cro-magnons at Creators Syndicate, they will continue to be like this forever.
Ok, no more picking on Johnny Hart, God rest his unfunny soul. The fact is that B.C. isn’t even the worst comic strip these days. Our local paper runs a strip called The Born Loser. A sample entry:
There is simply no explanation for a comic strip this bad. First, how does no one ever notice that the second and third panels of this strip are basically photocopies of the first one? Second, if you were going to photocopy something, why on earth would you choose that? The characters are ugly and badly drawn. Even their furniture is ugly and badly drawn. Third, the joke is stupid. Fourth, the joke is poorly executed. It’s like the artist, Chip Sansom, is afraid of his own punchline (such as it is), so he deliberately softens the blow, cushioning the meager punch his joke packs.
An improved version:
It’s still bad, but it’s not painfully bad. The joke ends with some punch, at least. Now if he could maybe replace the characters with better looking ones and find someone who can draw, this Chip Sansom guy might be able to get published in a few more reputable papers. What? The Born Loser appears in hundreds of newspapers and has been around since 1965, when it was started by Chip’s father Art? And it won the National Cartoonists Society Humor Comic Strip Award in 1987?
I was going to offer some more tips on how to be funny, but I’m starting to feel a bit ill. Also, I apparently don’t know shit about being funny. Just draw some stick figures, photocopy it a couple times, and paste the first asinine joke that comes into your mind into the speech bubbles. People will eat it up.
At least humor-blogs.com and my mother think I’m funny.
19 Comments so far
Leave a comment