BACK off, Betty, we’re not going Imus on anyone here. Not today. By “Ho” we are referring to Hawai’i’s number one celebrity, DON HO, who passed away over the weekend at the tender age of 76. Now, let us be the first to say we were never huge fans of his, but we do recognize an icon when we’re forced to look at his face every time we visit The Aloha State. Contrary to popular opinion, we’re not macaroons. We’re well aware of his impact on, uh… something. Okay, so maybe his wasn’t necessarily our favorite variation of Hawai’ian music, but still… Tiny Bubbles is a very charming little song. Harmless, in it’s own way, really. That said, we confess we never understood why it was such a big deal. We’re guessing it had something to do with Lawrence Welk, and, if you don’t mind, we’d prefer to leave it at that.
DON HO. Overall, he seemed like a very nice/laid back guy. Tho’ we did hear once that he was a bit of a womanizer — ‘course we heard that back in the 70’s from Julie, one of our college roommates, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Julie discovered Don’s proclivity for younger women when the undisputed King of Waikiki Entertainers tried to stick his tongue down her throat, but hey, that was then and this is now, and, uh, the guy just died. So, you know, maybe he was just trying to be friendly. Or maybe he wanted her to “suck ’em up” — something he often told his audience, when they raised their collective glasses of mai-tais, in response to his raised glass of scotch. That line alone may be the reason MAXIM MAGAZINE name Ho one of the “50 coolest guys ever” back in 2001 — which beats a sharp bamboo stick in the eye, since, as everyone knows, such a designation, along with a puka shell necklace at a hukilau, is enough to get anyone lei’ed. Or so we suspect.
IN all seriousness, we know Don Ho was beloved by many islanders and/or tourists. His music, while not the most “ethnically” Hawai’ian, had a certain…we don’t know what — je ne sais quoi — that was irresistible to all (all, that is, except Julie, who gags at the mention of his name, even now). We considered offering up a clip of Ho singing his signature song, the aforementioned Tiny Bubbles, but then we found something we liked so much more, that well, we couldn’t resist sharing it, instead. So, without further adieu and/or aloha, here’s a taste of Ho, covering a tune by Gabriel, on an album titled (we’re not making this up): When Pigs Fly. We have a feeling you’ll find it as surprisingly “entertaining” as we do. That said, we won’t be insulted — and/or shocked — if you don’t. (PS: we also think this qualifies as a “musical opposite/cheap laughs” to DJ LAMPSHA’S fun/fabulous Saturday Spin, The Gothic Archies, but don’t tell anyone we said that, it might make us seem… insensitive.)
ALOHA nui loa, Don. May the Big Kahuna book you into the biggest Tiki Lounge in the Lani. Don’t take any wooden pu-pu’s, unless someone gives you a glass filled with tiny bubbles, with which to wash ’em down and/or suck ’em up. (we make light of his passing, but trust us, he will be missed)
WE sincerely doubt DIESEL will force you to read up on puka shells/pu pu platters and/or hula dancers tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t come back. Meanwhile, it’s nothin’ but alohahahaha at humor-blogs.com.
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