Central Snark

Ho by Snuppy
Monday, 16 April 2007, 9:07am
Filed under: music music | Tags:

Don Ho and FriendBACK off, Betty, we’re not going Imus on anyone here. Not today. By “Ho” we are referring to Hawai’i’s number one celebrity, DON HO, who passed away over the weekend at the tender age of 76. Now, let us be the first to say we were never huge fans of his, but we do recognize an icon when we’re forced to look at his face every time we visit The Aloha State. Contrary to popular opinion, we’re not macaroons. We’re well aware of his impact on, uh… something. Okay, so maybe his wasn’t necessarily our favorite variation of Hawai’ian music, but still… Tiny Bubbles is a very charming little song. Harmless, in it’s own way, really. That said, we confess we never understood why it was such a big deal. We’re guessing it had something to do with Lawrence Welk, and, if you don’t mind, we’d prefer to leave it at that.

DON HO. Overall, he seemed like a very nice/laid back guy. Tho’ we did hear once that he was a bit of a womanizer — ‘course we heard that back in the 70’s from Julie, one of our college roommates, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Julie discovered Don’s proclivity for younger women when the undisputed King of Waikiki Entertainers tried to stick his tongue down her throat, but hey, that was then and this is now, and, uh, the guy just died. So, you know, maybe he was just trying to be friendly. Or maybe he wanted her to “suck ’em up” — something he often told his audience, when they raised their collective glasses of mai-tais, in response to his raised glass of scotch. hukilauThat line alone may be the reason MAXIM MAGAZINE name Ho one of the “50 coolest guys ever” back in 2001 — which beats a sharp bamboo stick in the eye, since, as everyone knows, such a designation, along with a puka shell necklace at a hukilau, is enough to get anyone lei’ed. Or so we suspect.

IN all seriousness, we know Don Ho was beloved by many islanders and/or tourists. His music, while not the most “ethnically” Hawai’ian, had a certain…we don’t know what — je ne sais quoi — that was irresistible to all (all, that is, except Julie, who gags at the mention of his name, even now). We considered offering up a clip of Ho singing his signature song, the aforementioned Tiny Bubbles, but then we found something we liked so much more, that well, we couldn’t resist sharing it, instead. So, without further adieu and/or aloha, here’s a taste of Ho, covering a tune by Gabriel, on an album titled (we’re not making this up): When Pigs Fly. We have a feeling you’ll find it as surprisingly “entertaining” as we do. That said, we won’t be insulted — and/or shocked — if you don’t. (PS: we also think this qualifies as a “musical opposite/cheap laughs” to DJ LAMPSHA’S fun/fabulous Saturday Spin, The Gothic Archies, but don’t tell anyone we said that, it might make us seem… insensitive.)

hawai'ian girlALOHA nui loa, Don. May the Big Kahuna book you into the biggest Tiki Lounge in the Lani. Don’t take any wooden pu-pu’s, unless someone gives you a glass filled with tiny bubbles, with which to wash ’em down and/or suck ’em up. (we make light of his passing, but trust us, he will be missed)

WE sincerely doubt DIESEL will force you to read up on puka shells/pu pu platters and/or hula dancers tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t come back. Meanwhile, it’s nothin’ but alohahahaha at humor-blogs.com.



15 Comments so far
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trust me, Don Ho singing “Shock the Monkey” is worth listening to. if only for the first minute or so. the animation is cheesy — and so is Ho’s version of the song, which is why this should count as the aforementioned “Musical Opposite for Cheap Laughs” for the week.

also, i’m not in any way dissing Don Ho. i thought he was a fine and fun performer. i happen to prefer the Hawai’ian musical stylings of IZ (and i thank my sister for introducing me to his wonderful songs a couple of years ago)… but that’s just me. whatever. it’s a rainy Monday in Connecticut (not to mention New York and/or New Jersey) — and all i can think about is how nice it would be to sit on a beach somewhere on the North Shore of Hawai’i. sigh. xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Well…that was special. For some reason I never imagined that Don Ho would sing anything but Tiny Bubbles let alone cover a pop hit. Kept flashing on David Hasselhoff for some reason…now that’s a scary image…must purge.

With all due respect to the dearly departed Mr. Ho, that was a happy post for a glooooomy, waterlogged kinda day.

Comment by BoBo

Wasn’t there a South Park episode where somebody serenades a girl John Cusack-style with Shock the Monkey? I don’t watch South Park much, but I remember thinking that was pretty funny. Probably not the most romantic of PG’s songs.

Don wasn’t one of those nappy-headed Hos, was he? I mean, you do NOT want to mess with a Ho that’s just woken up from a nap.

Comment by Diesel

….I actually thought he had died years ago…..I did not see any evidense of him when I was in Hawaii two years ago. I, like you, prefer IZ, then you already know that πŸ™‚ *whisper* I became a Grandmother (Amma) two hours ago πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ you are the first to know.

Comment by Mo'a

Wave goodbye.

Comment by Doug

this is the third type recently that Hawaii has come up and I’m considering booking a surprise vacation for my wife and I …

The other two times was waking up with the TV on showing Jack Lord and then I predeicted Shane Victorino (RF for the Phillies) would strike out on Saturday …and he totally did.

Comment by furiousball

Firstly Mo’a – Congratulations – that is such beautfiul news, broken right here on Central Snark! Where’s my NBFF!? Good health and happiness to the parents and baby and of course you and Heineken! xox

That video still looks so colorful and inviting, can’t wait to see. DonHo was always a bit schmaltzy for my taste, but hey rest in peace Don. Poor Julie.

Comment by Lampsha

BoBo: ’tis a dark and gloomy day, at that (not because of Don’s passing, but because of that frickin’ Nor’easter. oy) thanks for that Hasselhoff imagery — now thats all i can think of, as well. xox

Diesel: now that you mention it, that episode of South Park sounds vaguely familiar. i have a feeling Don Ho spent many an hour on the lanai in a hammock, which would definitely account for his nappy hair-do don’t! xox

Mo’a: or is that “Amma Mo’a”? CONGRATULATIONS! what wonderful news! having seen pictures of your son & daughter-in-law — as well as knowing you and Heineken, i’m guessing that is one GORGEOUS baby! allow me to chime in with my NBFF in saying best wishes for good health and all happiness to one, and all! πŸ˜€ xox

Doug: can i put on my grass skirt, first? xox

furiousball: it’s a sign. a sign i tell ya, a SIGN! wait, three signs! (Jack Lord shows up in this video, too — a nod to Ho’s appearance on Hawaii-50, i suppose) DO take your wife… Hawai’i is just all kinds of wonderful, it really is. xox

Lampsha: you’ll be able to show this vid to the kids. you may not want to, but you can. yeah, “poor Julie”, indeed. back in “the day” Don Ho was a ho’. (a ho’ with 10 kids at home…can you imagine?) xox

Comment by snuppy

πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Comment by Mo'a


never heard of Don before. God bless his cotton socks! Listened to the tune for 30 seconds, sorry…best I can do!

I thought however that your post was very funnily written my dear sweet snuppy, you always make me smile.
Of couse part of my cheeriness might still be that I canΓ¦t get that image of you in too big boots and a short jacket out of my mind. I would have rolled over laughing had I seen you with my own eyes πŸ™‚

Comment by Penguin

RIP Don Ho. That sounds dangerously like rip da ho. Lordamercy!

*resumes humming tiny bubbles* thanks to Snuppy’s earworm.

Comment by Sar

Neva will that be a right size grass skirt?

Comment by Doug

Penguin: awww… ya see how much more there is to learn about America, my friend? for a real treat, click on the “Tiny Bubbles” link — that way you’ll get to listen to a bit of that classic song, as well! yeah — you’d have laughed at me in that get-up — even as you grabbed the big jacket & boots next to the ones i put on, so you could help me coax those puppies back into the house! πŸ˜‰ xox

Sar: hee hee — well, better the Tiny Bubbles earworm than Shock the Monkey a la Don Ho! can’t have fun like that in Aruba, now, can ya? (i’m guessing John Mayer & Rush will be MUCH more entertaining… you lucky girl!) xox

Doug: it fits well enough. unfortunately, i made it myself — suffice it to say, crab grass is a lot less “swishy” than you might imagine. xox

Comment by snuppy

I saw Iz everywhere in Honolulu while I was there, but nothing about Don Ho. Maybe they think he went mainland …

Two more weeks, and I’ll officially be a haole, not to mention a malihini. So I’m going to have to start figuring out what the ho you’re talking about … πŸ™‚

Comment by oceallaigh

WOW! or, i should say, HO! (which means “wow”) that’s kamaha`o (wonderful) news, O’C! i’m most curious about the rituals attached to the hukilau, and i have a sneaking suspicion you’ll soon be the right guy to ask! πŸ™‚ xox

Comment by snuppy

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