Central Snark

Hands by Snuppy
Thursday, 10 May 2007, 8:16am
Filed under: d'oh!

handOH the things we come across in a fit of boredom and/or search for blog post fodder. The following qualifies as both something that momentarily alleviated our boredom and provided blog post fodder, specifically this blog, this post, this fodder.

NOT so much funny as mildly amusing, we kind of wondered if any of you had other thoughts for “Things We and/or You Can Do with Our and/or Your Hands”, short of pulling out our (and/or your) hair in a fit of exasperation and/or despair, after failing to come up with even ONE good idea to write about and/or hitting the delete button before this completely ridiculous excuse for a post ever sees the light of day.

RESIST the urge to offer up anything too tacky and/or lurid with regards to the aforementioned things you can do with your aforementioned hands. Ours are closer to that aforementioned delete button than you might imagine, and trust us, we’re not afraid to use it. Consider yourselves warned.

Sigh… we know this is wrong. We know this is stupid. We also know we should have spent more time working on a kick-ass post for today, instead of playing THIS DUMB GAME for hours on end, yesterday. What can we say? DIESEL and teh PENGUIN are hard acts to follow, which is why we didn’t want to try. Besides, since we’re currently gettin’ our ass-kicked by LAMPSHA in a certain CAPTION CONTEST — it’s all we can do to post anything, let alone anything worth reading. We said it once — but it bears repeating… Sigh.


A more thoughtful blog would hand you over to Humor-Blogs.com, in hopes of helping you find a few laughs. Too bad you’re not reading one of those.


21 Comments so far
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what am i gonna do with my son — Mr. Hey-Mom-Check-This-Out? i mean, i try and i try to avoid peeking at the games he sends me, because i know they’re gonna be fun and/or addictive. little bastard. i suppose one “thing i can do with my hands is order him to slam his face up against one of ’em as hard as he can. kidding! i kid.

as for that game? what can i say… “Sobics” is kind of like TETRIS, only cuter and/or more annoying — thanks to a character that looks an awful lot like one of the Teletubbies, who “facilitates” the dropping/placing of those blocks. the fact that it’s written in Korean notwithstanding, it’s actually a pretty easy game to play. xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Things to do with hands…
hang on a crimper
finger a monopocket
smear a sloper
grab a chickenhead
handjam a crack
pull an undercling

These are all climbing terms. What were you thinking of? I wish I could do more of the above.

Comment by wreckless

I avoid computer games like the plague (to coin a cliché). Time sinks fast enough as it is, being considerably more dense than lead, or my skull.

Can’t beat Ambrose Bierce for things to do with your hands. Like hold your friend’s hands. Both of them. ‘Cause then you are safe, because you can watch both his. I must confess, though, Bierce seems obsessed with the idea of hands in pockets, pulling … coins out of them! Sheesh. Clean out that gutter, willya? 😉

Comment by oceallaigh

What exactly are you climbing Wreckless?

I think I’ve slipped out of the lead though – not that I can tell from my work computer because I can’t view this version of Diesel’s poll from here – drat! I just want a damned autographed picture is all. There, there – you won last week!

So what can everybody do with their hands? Go vote for me! xox

Comment by Lampsha

Loved the video but want to know if anyone made any money doing it…cause…if they did…it’s time for a career change, for me, that is. I’m thinking I could do that.

Comment by BoBo

Hmmmm… touch and change shitty diapers (yeah, an accident or two is BOUND to happen in spite of the fact that the boy is supposedly potty trained!) begrudgingly (HAH! Try showing “begrugdingly” video hands!), yoga (which entails a variety of poses and body balancing on palms of hands and the like), touch kiddie boogers (not willingly), clean too much (which makes the skin on the hands dry… blame it on OCD I tell you!), burn them in the toaster oven (very common happening for clutzy bohemians I am afraid!) and the list goes on but alas, I will bore you (and me) no longer!

You actually had me intrigued with your mention of Tetris… I am a Tetris geek! Loverboy recently installed it on my laptop and now I literally get nothing done! I am happy to report that my highest score, thus far, is 22,000 and something… but it is the newest version of the game and I am a simple kind of bohemian and wish I had the original version instead… I don’t need bombs and the like in Tetris dammit!

Oooh! Lampsha has shameles promotion going on? Faboo! What else can you do with your hands? Touch totally orgasmic Gaudí art I tell you! Don’t believe me? Then go see for yourselves! (Meaning that two Gaudí vids are up and no reading required! WOOH!)

Comment by Miz BoheMia

Well, you can always run them through a bag full of legumes, like in “Amelie”. I tried that after watching the film and it’s strangely enjoyable. It’s more fun if the shopkeeper doesn’t see you, there’s something about the forbidden…

Comment by Theresa

I could totally be a hand model. I’ve got beautiful hands. Well, except for the scarring.

Comment by Diesel

those were teh exact things I thought of when thinking about things to do with me hands. I hate it when my monkey doesn´t play teh accordion, my gestures go beserk when that happens every day!

Theresa, I love running my hand through things like that, it is a nice stimulant for teh skin, almost like a gentle massage and tickle!

neva, thanks fo rthe game, I was uspposed to help MOm today…well, I guess she can wait!

Comment by Penguin

Dear MISS SNARK………I had a quick peek at your lamby-kins and then referred to you later as “he”, in a comment to Minka or Quilly. Quilly corrected me (as she is want to do). I do apologize for my error.

Things here look very interesting to me (a “she”) and I will be back……..J.D.

Comment by J.D.

I’m laughing and just laughing at everyone’s own conversations here.

Theresa surreptiously running her hands through legumes. And damn, I must see Amelie already!

JD’s note to Miss Snark.

MizB’s 20 uses for hands just rolled off her tongue! That MizB!

I’m coming to see the art, but unfortunately I cannot see it from my (shhhh) work computer.

Bye for now.

Comment by Lampsha

I lovelovelove that video.

Comment by Doug

Theresa, is a forbidden legume a fruit or a vegetable?

Comment by Doug

Hey, are you people going to come over and invite Mrs. Diesel to post or not? Seriously, if this falls flat, I’m screwed.

Comment by Diesel

Wreckless: please tell me you washed your hands before typing out that comment. seriously, think of the germs you encountered by sticking your finger in that monopocket and/or grabbing that chickenhead. ewww. 😉 xox

O’C: dude what the hell do you think he meant by his “friend”? i’m tellin’ ya, that guy NEVER took off his clothes… you don’t think he was in touch with “little Ambrose” from time to time? xox

Lampsha: i’m rootin’ for you, NBFF! and not at all embarrassed and/or annoyed by the fact that i’ve got, like, 8% of the freaking votes. oy… xox

BoBo: well of course you could do that — the question, i think, is would you want to? xox

Miz b: WOOHOO! a new post and no link??? DIOS MIO, BOHEMIA! (i’ll be there ponto!) xox

Theresa: you mean like beans? actually, a bag of frozen peas is a great thing put on bruises (in place of an ice pack) so… that almost makes sense. *rummages through cupboard in hopes of finding a bag o’ beans and/or peanuts* xox

Diesel: i’m guessing those giant/hairy knuckles leave a lot to be desired, as well. 😉 xox

Penguin: hah! please don’t tell your mom where you got that game — i want you to come back, and she’s not likely to let you if she senses i’m a “bad influence”. 🙄 xox

J.D.: dear Miss JD ~ welcome to our collaborative and humble blog. one of us is a “he”, so “he” didn’t mind you referring to “him” that way, in the least. the rest of us are decidedly “shes”… and we’ve got the body parts to prove it! (please come back — and often!) xox

Lampsha: me too! i think we should do a picture based on something by Gaudí with a variety of forbidden legumes, and send it to JD in a pink envelope. maybe splash it with Chanel #5, for good measure. xox

Doug: are you mockmockmocking me? wouldn’t be the first time, won’t be the last. (actually, i do know of your fondness for accordians and/or shanks. or is that shanks used on accordians? i can never remember…) xox

Comment by snuppy

did Doug say “lovelovelove”? That´s it! Armageddon right there. Frightening stuff!
Do you think we should make that public on Waking Ambrose?

Comment by Penguin

Penguin: yes!yes!yes! 😉 xox

Comment by snuppy

Hey I loveloveloved that video too. I can’t go near the games, bad enough that I blog. I have to go catch up around town with me mates.


Comment by LAMPSHA

Hi Snarkies!
Geez, I had to work all day (with my hands) and come home to find out that everyone has been having fun all over the place.

I find that my hands really come in *handy* (ha ha) during a good bout of Road Rage.
(Actually the last time I got into a RR fight I stuck my tongue out at the meanie driver. It was pretty funny because she stuck her tongue back at me and we ended up laughing our butts off afterward, and as we did this other drivers started honking and cursing at us.)

Comment by Zoning Out Again

Lampsha: no worries. that game is kind of silly (and yet, i’m thinking your kids might like it) catch up with your blogging mates? heh… it took me all day to get around to that, too. 😉 xox

Zoning: hahaha! my “road rage” responses are similar — only instead of sticking out my tongue, i shake my fist in a kind of “why i oughtta…” tho’ once, when i was around 19, i stuck a few raisins in my teeth and grinned at a smarmy truck driver who was trying to play “tag” with me on the highway. funny, he left me alone after that. xox

Comment by snuppy

The forbidden legume could be either fruit or vegetable, the important thing is, it’s forbidden. Dried beans are nice, but lentils are best for running your hands through. I don’t think frozen beans will do it. Watch “Amelie”, and you’ll understand.

Comment by Theresa

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