Central Snark


Health by Snuppy
Thursday, 31 May 2007, 8:35am
Filed under: funny...

poor sick womanTHERE’S nothing we hate more than being sick. Okay, that’s kind of a lie from the pits of hell, because we actually hate a few things more. For instance, we hate war. We also hate social injustice and racism. And we hate that crud that builds up around our bottle of taco sauce after a few uses. But aside from those things — and maybe a handful of others — we hate being sick.

SADLY, sick is exactly what we’ve been for the past few days, and sick is what we are of being sick. That’s right, we’re sick of being sick. Don’t ask us to elaborate, we’re sick — which means we can’t and/or don’t want to.

EVEN as we find ourselves mad as hell because we feel like shit, we’re laughing at the following bit o’ spam that almost found it’s way into our comment section, because it’s not so much “spam”, as it is a public service announcement disguised as spam. Clever.

Ben: Four out of five people wash their hands after using the rest room. Now – finally – we have a series of vignettes about the fifth guy. Really. You can watch it on YouTube. Anyone out there know this dude?:

*      *      *                *      *      *

AFTER watching, two things race to our feverish frontal lobes for processing:

1. In Florida they’re so desperate to remind people how important it is to wash hands they have to resort to SPAM? Because that’s just lame.

2. Is Mr. Bungle the reason we’re sick? If so, where can we find him? That asshole cost us a perfectly good long weekend, and he owes us, big time.

~snuppy

LATER in the day it will come to our attention that we inadvertantly slipped in a silly “educational” video from the ’50’s instead of the PSA (Public Spam Announcement) offered by our so-called pal, Ben. And we’ll laugh and laugh and laugh, because that’s just funny. Then we’ll lay back down on the couch, because, dammit, we’ll still feel like shit, and, to make matters worse, we’ll begin to think we’re allergic to the antibiotic the doctor prescribed for us yesterday. Or we’ll realize that perhaps our face has always been this blotchy, red, and swollen, and we’ve simply been too preoccupied with other things — like social injustice, racism, and/or taco crud — to notice and/or care.

You’ll laugh ’til you’re blue in the face at Humor-blogs.com.

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13 Comments so far
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i SWEAR we received that note from “Ben” a couple of days ago — and he did link us to another video — the one you’ll find if you click on “Public Spam Announcement”. in my head, this Mr. Bungle educational video was just funnier. but then, i’m sick, and can’t be held responsible for anything i think, do, and/or say today!

thanks to the antibiotics, i actually do feel a bit better (in case any of you wondered). wish i was kidding about my red/blotchy face, tho’ — alas, i am not. once again my mind is ready to leap to one of my favorite jokes, a little something we call “feels good, looks bad“. unfortunately, i can’t tell it here. or maybe i can, but i won’t. some day in the future, we’ll do something silly like “tacky joke day”, and i’ll try to share it then. 😉 xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

It’s always the one bad apple that ruins it for the rest of us! Well, we’ve missed you here up in lights so the good news is that at least you could post. The bad news is you’re still not feeling well. So rest up, wash your hands, drink some tea and get back to the couch. There must be some good movies on cable to occupy you.

Feel better soon! xox

Comment by Lampsha

Dear Dr. Snark —

I feel bad, but the people I bump into tell me I look good. Feel bad, look good. Hmmm. What’s your diagnosis?

(Signed)

Mr. Fuzzy.

(There are old jokes, and bad jokes — but the old and bad jokes are kinda special, aren’t they? Feel better, Snuppy!)

Comment by Al

(You look good!)

Comment by Al

Lampsha: i fear i’ve run through the “good old movies” and am now starting to watch a lot of “bad old TV shows”. oy. thanks, tho’ — hopefully i’ll hear back from my doctor before i throw all caution to the wind and take another antibiotic. i mean, how bad can it get? *feels throat tighten up* uh… maybe i should call him again… d’oh! xox

Al: mebbe Ah looks good, but trust me, Ah feels bad! (such a great joke. or a bad one, i’m never sure) 😉 xox

Comment by snuppy

Phil is a very “special” boy who obviously was diagnosed with OCD as an adult. Actually, I think all the kids in his school were drugged cause I’m pretty sure no group of kids that age would act like that ever, i.e., polite, respectful, quiet, etc. Love those vids!!! And…did you see the size of that piece of cake? That alone would have sent those kids into a sugar buzz that would have lasted till bedtime.

Comment by BoBo

Snuppy, red and splotchy looks better on you than it sounds, I’m just sure of it.
:p

Comment by logo™

Well, amiga mia, no matter how sick you may be you are always delightful and oh-my-god-laugh-my-ass-off funny amiga de mi corazón! Although *sighetty sigh* being sick is a total bitch and I am so sorry such a nasty bug caught a hold of you for I understand too well how awful such things are, I being an OCDish oh-my-god-nothing-better-go-wrong-and-my-breath-mobility-and-NOTHING-dammit-NOTHING-best-be-compromised-and-keep-me-away-from-my-daily-yoga-practice-I-SAY kinda bohemian ‘n all, and so having said that *sobbety sob* I feel for ya amiga mia and wish I could heal you all up…

So how about I feel you lookin’ hot and faboo and smokin’ (’cause that be the real “nonsick” you I declare!) dancing a happy jig and maybe even doing a sommersault or two? Hmmm? Oooh! I like me that idea FO SHO!

Miles de big boho MWAHS flyin’ your way oh fabulous Neva de mi alma! May you feel ass-kickin’ well soon!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

BoBo: Phil is special, isn’t he? poor kid. 😉 xox

logo™: hahaha! tell that to Larry at Starbucks. i went there after seeing my doctor, and the poor guy could barely look at me. oy. 🙂 xox

CYM: yes! “feel” me feeling better! i’ve been trying to do that for the past few days — but everytime i “see” myself getting better, i get a blinding headache, and my “vision” of wellness vanishes into thin-yet-painful-to-breathe air. yikes! besos to you, as well, amiga mia! 🙂 xox

Comment by snuppy

The Nanny State strikes again. Mr. Bungle was just plain frightening. He would make good horror film fodder.
Hope you are feeling better soon!

Comment by claire

I am so sorry to hear you have been sick. WHo´s spreading germs in yoru house? Don´t worry, I´ll talk to the guys!
In my job, I wash my hands about every 10 minutes or so. When I went to Germnay last year my sister noticed that I was running more often than not to teh bathroom and asked if my tummy was upset…I noticed then and there that I have started to wash my hands frequently without noticing it, for no apparent reason.
well, at least we know it wasn´t I who spread those germs in you home :)!

Feel better soon!

Comment by Penguin

This was the boringest movie ever.

Comment by Diesel

Claire: i know! i fear poor little Phil’s future turned out kind of bad. 😉 xox

Penguin: i tell ya, not even diligent hand-washing helped me dodge this bug. hopefully i’m on the mend now — or will be as soon as the doctor gives me a prescription for a new antibiotic (it seems the first one was the culprit. too bad we didn’t know i was allergic before turning my face purple. aieeee!) 🙂 xox

Diesel: i know you are, but what am i? kidding… i kid! yep — this is the kind of crap some of us were forced to watch in school, “back in the day”. i’m thinkin’ it explains a lot about the way many boomers are, today. poor us. 🙄 xox

Comment by snuppy




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