Filed under: Sex, Ed?
OH look! It’s Friday! And, after being treated to the completely fantastic/fun posts by CRUMMY JOEL, THE DRIVE-BY BLOGGER, and, of course, our own delicious little PENGUIN, here we are again (and/or finally), ready to talk about sex. Golly, you can color us fairly flushed with excitement, since we’ve been looking forward to writing this particular post since last week. Or, um, maybe it was yesterday, we really can’t remember. Whatever, we’re here now, and that’s all that counts.
THAT’S right, it’s time for another installment of our Sex Education Xeries, designed to enhance your, um, awareness of your, um, sexual selves (as opposed to the more-than-disturbing sex practices of ducks, bees, and spiders — which we learned about yesterday). Or not. Maybe this is just designed to let us share Part Two of the Award Winning Series we did many moons ago, that featured our veryverysmart sister, Dr. Terri, and dealt with a topic intended to raise more than your eyebrows. Oh wipe that look of shock off your faces (and for heaven’s sake, take your hands out of your laps). We mean awareness, silly kids. Awareness about All Things Safe, with regards to All Things S. E. X. (that’s “intercourse” to you Puritans).
ONE of the things you should know (but not really, it’s just that we obsess about our work, and feel the need to explain) is that, while the first part of HOT SEX was edited over a period of a week (and finished shortly before airtime), part two was slapped together (easy, don’t get too far down Innuendo Road, hot stuff) in a matter of 12 or 13 hours. Remember that scene in Broadcast News? When Joan Cusack nearly knocks herself out on the filing cabinet, in an effort to get a videotape to the director in time to make the air? Well, that’s what happened to us. Which hopefully explains why there’s less Dr. Terri, and more cool graphics and effects than in the first one. Or maybe all those things (which are complicated) kept our brilliant editor from having time to insert (don’t go there) the various funny and/or informative sound bites we’d originally planned. Oh well, we managed to slip it into the newscast (stop it) just in the nick of time, and, needless to say, we were orgasmic with joy (okay, that one’s a gimme).
DID that “Enter the Erotic Zone” voice sound familiar? It did if you A) happen to be our husband, or B) were one of our clients back in our 1-900-I Talk 2U days. (We were really bad, mostly because we used to offer lots of unwanted advice and/or tell stupid knock-knock jokes. Needless to say, we went out of business within a week. We still owe some guy named “Fritz” $3.50.)
NOW, we know this topic is a bit provocative, but we also think there are a few things it touches (heh) upon well worth discussing. For instance: 16 years ago, AIDS was still something many folks were (rightfully) concerned about. Of course, most were also terribly uninformed, which meant there were some weird-ass rumors flying around about risks, who had it, who didn’t, etc. These days, many infected with HIV are living happy, healthy, and productive lives (think: Magic Johnson). That said, there continue to be an alarming number of new cases reported around the world, every single day. Something we find terrifying, especially in light of the current plan global leaders have to cut back on AIDS/HIV funding and awareness programs over the next few years.
So? Did (or does) the fear of contracting AIDS have an effect on any of you? Inquiring minds want to know. What about your kids (for those of you who have them)? We have sons who’ve been sexually active for a few years now, and were more than a little embarrassed when we considered stocking the cookie jar with condoms (no, not flavored, we’re not that gauche).
FOR those of you who find the topic too hot and/or sexy, no worries. The delectable and delightful DJ LAMPSHA will be spinning like there’s no tomorrow, uh… tomorrow. Please stop by and say “Hi”. Tomorrow is also Central Snark’s 1 Year Anniversary. Yowza. Not that we plan to do a thing out of the ordinary to mark the occasion, mind you, but would it kill you to offer a word of congratulations? It’s not like we’ll expect you to dance dirty with us, tho’ we really wouldn’t mind if you did (just don’t call us Baby and/or make us sit in the corner when the music stops).
Everyone is “master” of their own domain at Humor-blogs.com.
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