Central Snark

63 by Snuppy
Monday, 18 June 2007, 9:57am
Filed under: funny...

Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that humor excites in those who lack it. ~ George Saintsbury

pouty bitchWHAT do you get when you allow a bunch of strangers to read your humble little blog, in order to rate it and/or provide you with “constructive” criticism? We’ll tell you what you get: you get a crappy-yet-mediocre score along with a bunch of unflattering comments from people you probably used to ignore in high school because they were snippy and/or uptight brown-nosing little nerds, that’s what you get. Still, we’re nothing, if not interested in improving the quality of The Snark, so, with your permission, we’d like to run through a few of the more “critical” comments we were subjected to the other day, thanks to feedback via Another “Humorous” Blog created by our very good, very funny pal (and Snark co-author) DIESEL, in hopes of addressing a few pressing concerns. Not ours, mind you, but those expressed by one or two of those so-called “humor experts” hiding behind a frisky mouse that used to be in his/her pocket.

ALONG with one person who was very bitter about the looooong blogroll (guessing he or she wasn’t on it), Humor Blog’s Well-Meaning and Very Insightful Reviewers cheerfully registered these whiney-yet-not-very-insightful complaints:

“…This blog annoyed me on two levels. One the posts were written in such a way that it felt like when you are stuck on the phone with your crazy, chatty Aunt Beatrice and she won’t shut-up. And two, snark should be reserved for 14 year olds not adults. Very un-funny, immature and so-not-cool anymore.” ~ Dear [your name], One: Not mature? NOT MATURE?? Screw you, and your little dog. Two: As of this second, you’re out of the will, bucko. Love, Crazy Aunt Beatrice.

“I don’t get it.” ~ Of course you don’t. You wouldn’t.

Normally I like wanton swearing and hot sex. Unfortunately, I found this blog to be a bit more of a ramble than a coherent source of humour. It’s by no means terrible, but I could not personally recommend it to others.” ~ So what you’re not telling us in a way that’s not at all rambling and/or convoluted, is that you need more hard-core humour in order to get off? Good to know. We’ll take your advice, too, because you spelled “humor” with a “u”, which means you must be really smart and, by no means uptight and/or nerdy.

I liked the (mostly) clean look of this blog. Would have preferred more actual humor writing and less myspace videos.” ~ See all those letters lumped together before and after the videos? Well, believe it or not, those letters form actual W.O.R.D.S. — and those, in turn, form S.E.N.T.E.N.C.E.S. Sentences, we hasten to add, that are, more times than not, hilarious. We should know, sometimes we’ve laughed so hard while pasting ’em together we’ve actually peed our pants.

There is just not much new you can say about entertainment and show business. I did like the personal posts that were about the blogger’s own life.” ~ Today, while Paris Hilton sat in jail and Brad Pitt clipped Angelina’s nose hairs, one of us took our kids to camp, another one did gardening, and another one is sitting, even as we type, in a pool of his/her own urine.

Sorry – I just didn’t laugh and got fed up with more and more explanations of why there wasn’t going to be a post this time. It felt like the posts were for people who wanted to know all about the authors as opposed to being made to laugh.” ~ Sorry — we wish we could explain why we do that, but it would take way too long, and, well, we just don’t have enough time. For instance, as soon as we finish typing (and change out pants) we need to call our lawyer about taking one of our idiot relatives out of our will. After that, we’ll busy poking sharp sticks in our eye.

“This is not a bad blog – the humor is not my cup of tea, but the writing is decent, and the author tries to relate to the reader. I hate to be negative about any site, but this just didn’t turn me on.” ~ No, it’s not a bad blog, just misunderstood. For a turn on, try reading it in the nude, maybe while sipping on a cup of coffee, instead of tea.

“I am very impressed, although I think everyone who writes there is smarter than I am, which I find intimidating. I prefer the company of mouthbreathers so that I look good in comparison.” ~ We are nothing, if not a bunch of Wikipediots, pretending to be smart. Come visit us in our corner sometimes, and check out our saturated drool rag. (actually, we lovelovelove this comment, and suspect this particular mouth breather is one of our “own”)

GOLLY, those were Helpful. Gotta tell ya, we’re more than a little grateful for all this feedback. wink winkThat said, we should probably point out that not all comments were “bad”, some were actually quite flattering — no doubt written by folks who wish to remain in our good graces and/or our will.

~Crazy Aunt Beatrice

Humor-blogs.com rates rather high on the laughter scale, despite its association with us.


24 Comments so far
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i PROMISE none of us are too terribly upset by the “reviews”. in truth, some of that feedback was darn good. especially the part about us being “smart” and funny — you know, the stuff our “real” friends and/or relatives who will, indeed, remain in our will, had to say about us!

seriously, thanks to all of you who said such sweet things — it means a lot to all of us who write for The Snark! 🙂

if anyone is so inclined, feel free to click over to the review page and tell the people who spoke unkindly about us to kiss your ass. or our ass. or a rat’s ass. whatever… i suddenly find myself in the midst of a genuine family crisis (all kidding aside) and will be out for a good part of the day. 🙄

hope Father’s Day was lovely for one and all!!and that this week will be even better! xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

That’s right, we just want to know all about you – we don’t want to laugh. In fact, I refuse to laugh. Stop being immature and pass me one of those sharp sticks.

Let’s face it, The Snark is what it set out to be – good friends gathering, dropping by and enjoying each other’s company. So if people don’t enjoy that vibe and want to YUCK it up, I’m sure they’ll find their own tepid cup of tea somewhere within the Humor-blogs blogroll. I may be biased being a co-contributor and your NBFF (how’s that for immature!), but you’ve made a great place for people to meet as well as including some great guest posts by people who step out of what they do on their own blog perhaps. So keep doing what you’re doing, there are some who actually LOVE it – me included.

Hope everything is okay on the family front. XOX

Comment by Lampsha

As long as they spell your name right…

If you experience bouts of sweating and an oozing skin rash, immediately discontinue humor-blogs and see your doctor.

Comment by Al

How can someone not get this blog? I mean…really. Everything makes…ooh pie!

LBP still wondering how she can smut up a Friday without smutting it up too badly. While doing it…what was that quote: “Normally I like wanton swearing and hot sex. Unfortunately, I found this blog to be a bit more of a ramble than a coherent source of humour. It’s by no means terrible, but I could not personally recommend it to others.” Coherently (because I’m always coherent) and with minimal fucking swearing.

Comment by littlebluepill

I know, when I saw it and commented rigth away over there, I figured this might lead to a few upset people.

I smiled a lot.

It is plain obvious that most of the reviewers came by once or twice, without even getting that this is a joined effort, without getting that humor is subject to taste. And where, if I might ask, did we ever say we wanted to do soemthing extraordinarily witty, funny and sexy over here? Sure we cover those subjects any given day, but i missed the section where we promise such greatness to everyone landing on this site.

and snuppy, you so can write humor with an “u” if you wanna be or studied British English. I felt hurt by that, I don´t like this site anymore 🙂 You all are mean! 😉

This is where we hang out, if you don´t like it….hang somewhere else. It´s as simple as that!

and yes…if you enter yoruself to a review, that´s what you´ll get. LOL! Review has never to do with facts or ambition or dedictaion, it is plain subjective taste!

Comment by Penguin

I forgot, I loved the quote and I might as well come out of the closet… I love the snark, for all it´s unpredictability, craziness and friendship.
And teh less people getting it, well…the more room there is for us.

*drags in her lazy boy and get´s comfy*

Comment by Penguin

Penguin’s right. I always thought blog-review blogs would be useful and interesting until I read some of them. I really don’t think bloggers like to read generally. We loves ya, Porgie!

Comment by Doug

If this blog had been widely accepted by the masses I would have been thoroughly disappointed. In my humble opinion, this is a unique site that doesn’t try to appeal to the greatest common denominator…that’s what makes it special.

Comment by BoBo

Oh, and call this a preview of coming attractions. This is from Ambrose Bierce:

CRITIC, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.

There is a land of pure delight,
Beyond the Jordan’s flood,
Where saints, apparelled all in white,
Fling back the critic’s mud.

And as he legs it through the skies,
His pelt a sable hue,
He sorrows sore to recognize
The missiles that he threw.
—Orrin Goof

That said, no more submitting to review blogs, ok? If I were looking for idiotic opinions, and I’ve been on the positive side of that ledger for very much a long time, a blog review blog would be the first place I’d look.

Comment by Doug

Oy dios mio! Check out thanks to Spain’s grip and return to chaos, CHAOS I TELL YOU!

The quotes written here, because the screaming kids keep me from actually reading what was written about us and the very fact that I love it here and don’t give a rat’s ass (or should I say flying fuck?) what some nerdy-in-need-of-a-turn-on-I-take-it-and-what-the-hell-is-that-about readers think about our delightful Snark Park, were quite eye opening…

Words and sentences are a problem? And we don’t turn people on? I had no clue that was what we were trying to do in a snarky place! Huh. I will try better to vamp it up next time so that some uneducated loser can jack off to my sexy non-words (because I take it words are a problem?) and…


Can I borrow the sharp stick too?

I second my dear hermanito up above when it comes to “site reviewing” sites… at least no one got called a “cunt”, a Miz “Boobhemia”, a “fucktard” and whatnot… aaaah the good old days! 😉 Yeah, I have had quite the run-in with some psychos-who-shall-remain-nameless-because-I-plan-in-no-way-to-promote-them DAS FO SHO but all in all and at the end of the day and in spite of what may come across as a biting comment, such stuff tends to just crack me up! It all boils down to perception and, yes, can we say it now, the collective delusion of some out there in the masses. Scary I tell you!

Which is why I love it here… though I may not comment or frequent this delightful place as much as I would like, it is a cozy, snarkalicious home away from home and I applaud you, my dearest Snuppy, for being the backbone and base of this delightful, and now crowdalicious-with-the-ever-growing-family-of-contributors-and-how-delightful-and-sweet-is-that, and fabulous place I love oh so mucho…

And your replies to the misguided-though-admittedly-funny-at-times comments? Brilliant! One of many reasons this bohemians just loooooves you FO SHO!

Besos to you my dearest of amigas!

Comment by Miz BoheMia

I haven’t read the review yet, but I know what I wrote, which was how fantastic you guys are, the whole lot of you. I’ll be going over there right now, and give those losers a piece of my mind. Of course, something so sublime as the Snark couldn’t be appreciated by the plebs (You are, of course, the elite of the blogging world, even though some people haven’t realized it yet).

Comment by Theresa

You know, you folks should actually read the review. Sure, there where some people who obviously didn’t spend a lot of time browsing the Snark, and others who just didn’t find it their “cup of tea,” but overall the reviewers were positive. I believe the highest score yet was a 68, so the Snark did rather well.

Humor-blogs.com isn’t supposed to be the absolute authority on what’s funny; it’s supposed to be a resource to help people find funny blogs and reward bloggers who otherwise might go unnoticed.

Take it for what it is, and then have a nice cup of coffee. Or tea, if that’s what you prefer.

Comment by Diesel

I agree. Not everyone is going to like your blog and you have to also take into account the comments are from people who write humor blogs. You can expect to get ripped on. I got compared to Kirsten Dunst which is actually pretty funny.

A lot of times too, a reviewer may not be looking at what type of humor the author is going for, or what niche they are trying to fill. There’s is also a lot of comparison bias as well.

That’s why you can’t take it too seriously and also not dismiss it at the same time. 63 is a great score, you have a good fanbase that comments heavily and daily blog entries. Who cares if some people don’t like it? If you do and your fans do, you are all set.:)

Comment by Chris C.

In Snuppy’s absence, I’ll just say that

a) we weren’t being oh so gracious but
b) were really just having a bit of fun back at the reviewers.

Chris, you are so right and you were, might I add, very gracious in handling your reviews.

Diesel, don’t get steamed at us – we did read the reviews and Neva did actually ask for the review I assume since Central Snark was reviewed. You’ve done a fine job of trying to set up a review process which is subject to the whims of the reviewers. I realize it is not an exact science and only meant to be a guide of sorts.

Now who wants coffee and who wants tea? Or a shot?

Comment by Lampsha

This is all funny. I took this post as being snarky about the review itself. I mean, the word snark is in the title.

Comment by Howard

WOWIE! these are some grand responses. and i plan to address one and/or all, but won’t able to do that until a bit later, since i’m only “here” for a minute, then i have to go back out to attend to “part deux” of the, um, family situation that started to unfold last night.

still, i didn’t want to go back out without at least a short response…

I’M NOT UPSET BY ANYTHING ANYONE HAD TO SAY!! i promise!! i ADORE the concept for Humor-blogs, the idea of “reviewing” other’s blogs for the feedback, and never-EVER expected an especially high rating. pretty sure Lampsha and/or Monika did, either. nor our beloved Catty Yummy BoheMian Mummy OR those luscious pair of Red Lips, aka, Little Blue Pill! and most certainly not Diesel!!

we’re ALL good… and lovelovelove the friends we have here, and lovelovelove to make fun of the people who are A) probably not our friends and B) show up to piss, moan, and otherwise complain, anyway.

coffee, tea, pissing on ourselves — as long as we’re happy, nothing else matters. zip. zero. nada!

yoiks! gotta go… but i’ll be back! hopefully all you kids will be, too!! 🙂 xoxox

Comment by crazy aunt beatrice

Howard? right on, brutha, right on! 😉

Comment by crazy aunt beatrice

A snarkfest in every cup (make mine with a generous shot of Baileys). I completely agree with teh penguin -yeah! what she said! To me the fun of the humor-blogs site is just scrolling thru random sites cuz you never know what people are sayin’ out there and sometimes it is funny, cool or even interesting.
Go snarksters! Snarkcasms forever!

Comment by Claire

Oh, I wasn’t really talking to you Lampsha and Snuppy. I KNOW you read the review, and I know you’re just having some fun with it. Seemed like maybe some of the other commenters were taking it a bit too seriously though. I get a little defensive about my unpaid staff of reviewers, because they’re just doing their part to let people know about some good blogs, of which the Snark is clearly one. 🙂

Comment by Diesel

I read the review as well, well the stuff I could find on that new blog page and heck, I beleieve I was the first commenter *it´s important to some*, I think it is only naturally to defend yor baby (our snark) against criticism. And some of the criticism-I think and can totally be wrong about!- is not applicable. That being said…i find myself totally having the right to say: I believe you lot don´t get it, as “you lot” says well, you aren´t funny at all! Both can be perfectly right, or wrong!

This is just a bit of a back and forth, and only normal…

one says: “oh look at my dress, isn´t it lovely!”

the other one: “I don´t really like it!”

the former again: “but the colors suit me, it makes my claves look nice and the V-neck makes my chest beautiful!”

the other one: “yeah, sweetie…I just don´t think you get it…it´s totally not within today´s fashion!”

the first one again: “What the heck, I am gonna wear it anyway…´cause I like it! You can look the other way if it upsets your eyes!”

It´s a normal process.

ok, I am done now 🙂

Comment by Penguin

Ha, ha, haaaa! Pingüinita, you are faboo and just delicious FO SHO! I just GOTTSA love a sistah who speaks to herself! And then they call me crazy… proof positive that you are family and…

“What? Are you calling me crazy?” you ask,

“FO SHO”, say I… “but it’s only ’cause I loooove you!”

Yep, Minka is dreamy, DREAMY I SAY!

And ahem, Diesel, you don’t like me do you? Huh? HUH? *Sniff & SOB I say* 😉 Bohemians like to bark but they would never bite a fellow Snarkster DAS FO SHO!

And, unfortunately for most seeing that bohemians like to bite, controversial moments are highs we all seek I am afraid and Nevalicious hermana mia, this one was handled with much fun, class, beauty and VAVOOM indeed!

I am done now too… so with that,

BoheMia OUT!

Comment by Catty Yummy Mummy

I’m glad you are not bitter; D

Comment by Nessa

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