THAT’S right, don’t bother to check your calendars, we’ve done it for you, and today is, indeed, America’s “Birthday”. Born, if you will, on the 4th of July, back in 1776. Tho’, truth be told, we’re pretty sure America is a hell of a lot older than the 231 years she claims to be. Despite her best efforts, America can’t fool us — we can see right through all that work she’s had done over the years. What does she take us for anyway, a bunch of naive, flag waving libertygibbets? Vain bitch. She can save that “I’m still a young country” act for some other blog, we’re not buying it.
INTERESTINGLY enough (to us), July 4th is only a “big deal” in the United States of America. Can you believe it? To the rest of the world, this is merely the day that sits precariously between the 3rd and the 5th. On the other hand, in the LAMPSHA household, America’s Birthday is but 4 days before our NBFF’s. In our own household, it’s 7 days before our mom’s birthday, 15 days before PIA’s, 18 days before MO’A PRETTY KITTEN HEEL’s, and 21 days before our big sister’s — tho’ truth be told, our other sister is less “big” than she is “old”. Hahaha. That’s hilarious to us now, but we’ll catch hell for it later. But, as so often happens when we start talking about one of our sisters, we digress. In Iceland, July 4th is exactly 13 days before TEH PENGUIN turns 30. And in Europe, it’s only 24 hours — and counting — before a certain CATTY YUMMY MUMMY finally says “¡Adiós España!” and “Helloooo San Francisco!”. Far as we’re concerned, even without the fanfare, flags, and/or fireworks, the 4th of July is still a big freakin’ deal.
Naturally, none of that stuff is the point of today’s post. The point, which snuck up on us like a Minuteman outside of Boston, on the road to the Old North Bridge, is that today is a holiday, one dedicated to freedom, justice, and liberty for all lucky enough to reside in the US of A.
200 years ago, the 4th of July marked the end of the Freedom Trail for two of America’s Founding Fathers, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. That’s right, the 2nd and 3rd presidents of the United States both died on this day, back in 1826. We think it would have been very nice to show you what big fat babies those two rivals-turned-pals were towards the end of their lives, but unfortunately, we couldn’t figure out how to put THIS VIDEO directly onto this page. Watch it anyway, we’re pretty sure you’ll think it’s as funny as we did and/or do.
AS long as we’re talkin’ “Founding Fathers”, we figured it would be jolly good fun to revisit one of our all-time favorite Great American Hero related videos, which we first saw after retrieving an e-mail that looked suspiciously like spam. Imagine our delight when, instead of an offer to participate in some sleazy get-rich quick scheme, it turned out to be a note/video link from DIESEL, trying to share the splendor that was and/or is: Washington. By George, where’s the guy featured in the following clip when we need him?
HEH. We’ve watched this short over and over, and we never get tired of it. Every time we hear that song, we laugh and laugh and laugh. Coincidentally, that’s exactly what we do every time we read one of Diesel’s posts, including the ones he does here. That’s our way of saying he’s doing a post for us tomorrow. Aren’t we clever? That sneaky vainglorious America may lie about her age, but we will never lie to you about upcoming posts, especially when they’re being done by people we really like and/or who just saved us the trouble of writing another one of our own the day after a Very Important Holiday.
HOPE you all have a Fabulous 4th (5th, 8th, 11th, 17th, 19th, 22nd, and 25th) of July!
PS: Everyone is invited to a festive weenie roast on Humor-blogs.com. Afterwards, you can shoot off a few, ahem, rockets HERE. (this is a silly-yet-cool “fireworks” site… the only thing in this post you can feel comfortable showing the kids)
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