Central Snark

July 4th by Snuppy
Wednesday, 4 July 2007, 9:44am
Filed under: cracks us up, holidays

patriotTHAT’S right, don’t bother to check your calendars, we’ve done it for you, and today is, indeed, America’s “Birthday”. Born, if you will, on the 4th of July, back in 1776. Tho’, truth be told, we’re pretty sure America is a hell of a lot older than the 231 years she claims to be. Despite her best efforts, America can’t fool us — we can see right through all that work she’s had done over the years. What does she take us for anyway, a bunch of naive, flag waving libertygibbets? Vain bitch. She can save that “I’m still a young country” act for some other blog, we’re not buying it.

INTERESTINGLY enough (to us), July 4th is only a “big deal” in the United States of America. Can you believe it? To the rest of the world, this is merely the day that sits precariously between the 3rd and the 5th. On the other hand, in the LAMPSHA household, America’s Birthday is but 4 days before our NBFF’s. In our own household, it’s 7 days before our mom’s birthday, 15 days before PIA’s, 18 days before MO’A PRETTY KITTEN HEEL’s, and 21 days before our big sister’s — tho’ truth be told, our other sister is less “big” than she is “old”. Hahaha. That’s hilarious to us now, but we’ll catch hell for it later. But, as so often happens when we start talking about one of our sisters, we digress. In Iceland, July 4th is exactly 13 days before TEH PENGUIN turns 30. And in Europe, it’s only 24 hours — and counting — before a certain CATTY YUMMY MUMMY finally says “¡Adiós España!” and “Helloooo San Francisco!”. Far as we’re concerned, even without the fanfare, flags, and/or fireworks, the 4th of July is still a big freakin’ deal.

Naturally, none of that stuff is the point of today’s post. The point, which snuck up on us like a Minuteman outside of Boston, on the road to the Old North Bridge, is that today is a holiday, one dedicated to freedom, justice, and liberty for all lucky enough to reside in the US of A.

200 years ago, the 4th of July marked the end of the Freedom Trail for two of America’s Founding Fathers, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. That’s right, the 2nd and 3rd presidents of the United States both died on this day, back in 1826. We think it would have been very nice to show you what big fat babies those two rivals-turned-pals were towards the end of their lives, but unfortunately, we couldn’t figure out how to put THIS VIDEO directly onto this page. Watch it anyway, we’re pretty sure you’ll think it’s as funny as we did and/or do.

AS long as we’re talkin’ “Founding Fathers”, we figured it would be jolly good fun to revisit one of our all-time favorite Great American Hero related videos, which we first saw after retrieving an e-mail that looked suspiciously like spam. Imagine our delight when, instead of an offer to participate in some sleazy get-rich quick scheme, it turned out to be a note/video link from DIESEL, trying to share the splendor that was and/or is: Washington. By George, where’s the guy featured in the following clip when we need him?

HEH. We’ve watched this short over and over, and we never get tired of it. Every time we hear that song, we laugh and laugh and laugh. Coincidentally, that’s exactly what we do every time we read one of Diesel’s posts, including the ones he does here. That’s our way of saying he’s doing a post for us tomorrow. Aren’t we clever? That sneaky vainglorious America may lie about her age, but we will never lie to you about upcoming posts, especially when they’re being done by people we really like and/or who just saved us the trouble of writing another one of our own the day after a Very Important Holiday.

HOPE you all have a Fabulous 4th (5th, 8th, 11th, 17th, 19th, 22nd, and 25th) of July!


PS: Everyone is invited to a festive weenie roast on Humor-blogs.com. Afterwards, you can shoot off a few, ahem, rockets HERE. (this is a silly-yet-cool “fireworks” site… the only thing in this post you can feel comfortable showing the kids)


13 Comments so far
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Speaking of people YOU like, one of us (me) is a finalist in Diesel’s latest CAPTION CONTEST. You’ll recognize ours (mine) by the dry tone and humorous wording. Good thing, too, because you might not recognize us (me) by our (my) name, since we’re (i’m) known over there as Diesel’s Crazy Aunt Bea, for reasons that remain (extremely) unclear to us (me) and/or Diesel’s real (crazy) Aunt Bea.

stay safe and have fun! and not just voting in that contest… 😉 xox

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Holy crap that IS funny. 30 dicks!? Who would’ve thunk?

Comment by Jeff

apparently i got a little “link happy” with this post. sorry about that. still, for anyone unfamiliar with the Old North Bridge and/or Freedom Trail, those links might be fun to check out. of course, having lived in Boston, maybe i’m just prejudiced about these things.

and, yes, the fireworks link is kind of cheesy, and yet, i find it… relaxing. but then, i didn’t get much sleep last night, what with our son staying out and causing me to worry and/or our neighbor practicing his drums until the wee hours of the morning. CRUMMY JOEL, i’m thinking i’ll stick a copy of yesterday’s hilarious post in his mailbox, in hopes he’ll feel compelled to break into his piggy bank and buy a clue. yeesh. 🙄

Comment by snuppy

Jeff: yep — apparently it took more balls than we imagined to win the American Revolution. who knew? 🙂 xox

Comment by snuppy

That video just never gets old. Great patriotic post Snuppy! So clever for someone so tired. Happy 4th everyone.

Comment by Joel

By the way…previous post was BoBo (aka Joel) not Crummy Joel.

Comment by BoBo

Wait George invented cocaine? And we took away his own holiday 🙂

Somebody has to do this, so I volunteer to give up my birthday this year.

I know too many people who had kids on my birthday–all Americans and two of the kids are in Iraq

So for patriotism’s sake, I give it to them. And some other kids who I’m sure are patriotic. They make the designer economy go round

Comment by pia

BoBo: no need to mention you’re every bit as tired as i am. even tho’ that may be the only reason you thought this was in ANY way amusing! 🙄 xox

Pia: far as i can tell, George’s only flaw was that he refused to save those bloody British children. that said, i’m with you in thinkin’ this might be a good year to give up a birthday for the “better good”. the fact that it might serve to keep me from technically aging another year is but a minor bonus. 😉 xox

ALSO: did anyone notice who’s birthday i left out of this post? or does no one care that Friday America’s alleged “commander and chief” celebrates birthday #61?? anyone? anyone?? guess not. poor Dubya… heh heh. 🙄

Comment by snuppy

Man, I had almost forgotten about that Washington video. That’s hella funny.

Comment by Diesel

A grand patriotic post indeed and the Washington video is still funny. Of course, I can’t watch any more because the kids are swarming me now…later.

Thanks for the pre-birthday shout-out and Happy 4th to all! xox

Comment by LAMPSHA

In England… time running out… will board in one hour! MWAH to all and off I go! In the meanwhile drop on by and say hello! Hee, hee, hee!

Comment by CYM

Diesel: honestly, that video is one of my ALL TIME FAVORITES. you sealed your good standing in the Snark and/or my high opinion of you the day you sent it to us! 😉 xox

Lampsha: i felt kind of bad posting videos that were inappropriate for children, but then i remembered that this blog isn’t FOR children (tho’ we DO like to be mindful of ’em as often as possible). heh heh. you can be the “smart” and/or “educational” mom, and show Tali and Julian the websites for the Freedom Trail and Old North Bridge, i suppose. oh yeah, AND the fireworks! cuz those are pretty darn cool, even if i do say so myself. 🙂 xox

CYM: thinking about you and your family, beautiful BoheMia! and looking forward to hearing about your latest adventures!! Yikes! i know i’m bad for doing so in a less than timely fashion, but i finally read that long-ass-yet-entertaining post and watched ALL your wonderful videos… and, yes, LEFT COMMENTS! hee hee!! CALL ME WHEN YOU GET IN/SETTLED, AMIGA. COLLECT!! 😉 xoxoxo

Comment by snuppy

[…] film having been produced by the Department of Defense back in the 1940’s. But then, as you know, we decided to take the “high” road — or was it the “cheap laughs back […]

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