Central Snark

Did Somebody Say… Sports? by Snuppy
Thursday, 6 September 2007, 8:40am
Filed under: music music, Sporting Goods

nettie honeyball*YOU crazy kids and your inexplicable-yet-uncontrollable affection for multi-player games involving, among other things, groping, hitting, bouncing balls and/or swinging bats. No, we’re not talking about sex (that’s tomorrow), we’re talking about: Sports. Mostly because today marks the “official” beginning of football season, but ALSO because a certain member of Team Snark, who recently side-lined his career in order to “build” a house and/or write/pimp promote a so-called “book” isn’t here — yet again — to talk about something hilarious and/or clever for us. Don’t think we haven’t done our best to lure him back onto the field, because we have. Sadly, despite our best efforts and/or latest bribes, DIESEL refuses to “play ball”. Being the poor sports we are on any given day, this disappoints and/or annoys us to no end. But, as so often happens when we’re feeling whiny about having to do our own dirty work, we digress.

NOW, we may not be the World’s Biggest Sports Fans — mostly because we managed to drop a few pounds over the summer, but also because we have an extremely limited ability to remain focused on something we personally find… boring. But that’s beside the point. The point, which is, come to think of it, a damn funny term to use when talking about “sports”, is that, while not always glued to the TV when some sporting event comes on, we actually do understand the passion. Oh, maybe we weren’t soccer moms, but we “get” it. We’ve seen other soccer (little league/flag football) moms and/or dads in action, and we’ve mocked ’em loudly, in the privacy of our own car, as we sped past the field on our way to get coffee.

THAT said, how some of YOU made it without the NFL and/or all those highlights through these past few months is anyone’s guess. Hopefully, the following (short) Mother of All Sports-Themed Musical Interludes** will help put die hard fans (CRUMMYJOEL?) in the right frame of “mind” for the footballistic fanfare that begins tonight (on NBC). The video was thoughtfully supplied by our son, the one who DIDN’T want to wrestle in high school — despite the fact that, while on a team when he was in the 8th grade, he pinned his first opponent in just under 19 seconds. His coach was amazed, his parents… terrified, but he (the poor/strong boy) was merely embarrassed by all the attention, and dropped off the team a few weeks later. Apparently, some 14 year old boys find the idea of developing skill, strength, and “strategy smarts” unimportant, especially when weighed against participating in a “sport” that involves grabbing another guy’s crotch, while wearing spandex.

NOW, if that wasn’t inspiring and/or Sportstacular, we don’t know what is.


The fan club for Humor-blogs.com meets on Tuesdays. Bring your own pom-poms.

*For fun, click on the picture at the top of the page, and read up on the “mother” of women’s soccer, Nettie Honeyball. Then pardon us while we lapse into fits of uncontrollable laughter. Nettie Honeyball? Come on, that’s not just funny, that’s hilarious. (maybe some of you won’t agree, but we bet TEH PENGUIN will)

**Brought to you by the creators of Tim and Eric AWESOME SHOW (good job!). If the video doesn’t play, you can watch the same clip HERE — along with a few other funny sports-related clips from shows featured on [adult swim].


22 Comments so far
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wasn’t that fan-freaking-tastic? aside from the “vomit” thing at the end, i mean? okay, it was silly, and yet — is it me, or is this NOT unlike every other dumb sports theme i’ve been forced to listen to had the pleasure of hearing — at the start of many a baseball/basketball and/or football game? (okay, i DO like the way the Bull’s home games begin, but that’s one of very few exceptions to my “rule”) πŸ˜‰

QUICK story: a certain couple’s youngest son wanted to play “tag” football when he was but a tyke, and, being the kind of parents who believe their child should decide for himself how crappy it is to sit around under the hot Florida sun on a Saturday afternoon, they said “yes”. Fast forward to 10 minutes into the game (it was, like, 163 degrees, with 98 percent humidity), when aforementioned tyke ran OFF the field and up to his mommy and daddy and said “I’m tired. And thirsty. And I have to go wee-wee, really bad. Can we go home?” The end.

and that’s why we NEVER again encouraged our kids to play “organized” sports. and they never did… except when our older son wrestled for a minute or two when he was in middle school. oh yeah, he played football that year, as well, but never could get too excited about the concept of “contact” sports. eh, at least it helped reduce the number of times we had to pick up our kids in the emergency room. πŸ™„

Comment by One Hot Puppy

Is this a great time of year or what? Football season starts (college last week), the baseball pennant races are nearing their dramatic conclusion…it’s a veritable sensory overload. LOVE IT and love Direct TV, yipee! Not that I’m a huge sports fan or anything.

Comment by BoBo

Hey Snuppy, good post! But once the vomitting started in the video, I decided to see where I can get a refund for the minute ‘n twenty-three seconds of my life I spent on it.

I don’t watch the late night sports roundups, or the evening games, or the Sunday afternoon games, or… well I don’t watch sports. I can understand some confusion with those who do.

The sports I play are also not contact sports, or even team sports… mountain biking, car racing, rock climbing, and scuba. Trouble is, when one of those activities becomes a contact sport, it’s ugly!

Comment by IDiveAtNight

Ok, I take it back. I would much rather have watched an actual sports clip than that video. Is this some kind of aversion therapy?

Not being a sports fan and having looked over the lineup of new fall tv shows (yawn), I have nothing to look forward to but the fall colors. And since I live in California, I have nothing to look forward to.


Comment by Diesel

So that’s what Boy George is up to these days. Is that George Carlin on bass?

Go Pats!!!

@Diesel: Heroes, Bionic Woman, Jericho, Another Sunny Day in Phili, Eureka. Five great choices for tv viewing πŸ™‚

Comment by Chris C

Now if only football games were that short!
Honeyball, tee hee hee
For the longest time Mr. Logo didnt watch any sports at all, here lately he has taken to watching the Seahawks. I’ve decided to overlook that since he has so many other sterling qualities but I do consider it a breech of contract.

Comment by logoβ„’

BoBo: YOU?? a die hard sports fan?? heh. maybe not “die hard”, but there are definitely days when you come close. πŸ˜‰

Morgan: i hear ya — i love water/snow skiing, neither of which lends itself to “contact” very well, either! same goes for speed walking and/or running. and trust me when i tell you i speak from experience. 😎

Diesel: gee, and my son guaranteed a few yucks over this video — maybe i misunderstood, and he meant yu-u-u-cks? that said, you’re not one for “diamond bags” OR “helmet touch”? go figure… πŸ™„

Chris: i can’t say for sure if that was George Carlin, the glare off that drummer’s bald spot was kind of blinding. and, while you’re reminding Diesel about the fact there ARE a couple of good shows out there (yay! for Heroes!) don’t forget The Office, My Name is Earl (tellin’ you guys, it funny), and Dexter. oh yeah, Sarah Silverman’s show will be starting soon, too. but you kids probably don’t watch a lot on Comedy Central, do you?? πŸ˜‰

logoβ„’ : i was thinkin’ the same damn thing! truth be told, i don’t mind watching the “highlights” shows… but i usually wind up wanting to poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick around the 8th inning of a no hitter. so sorry Mr. Logo is becoming a Seahawks “fan”. wonder if there’s a pill for that? and yeah — Honeyball is a great last name for a soccer player, especially one who’s first name is Nettie. πŸ™‚

speaking of the Seahawks, i’ll have to remember to tell you guys about my own Seahawk “fan” — a guy who would NOT leave me alone (back in my YOUTH, BoBo… no worries, now!) 😐

Comment by snuppy

Okay, finally saw the video. I will join the ranks of the strange by saying I liked it!!! A midday chuckle for which I am very appreciative.

Comment by BoBo

Hey, I have a strap-on just like those guys.

KEYBOARD! A strap-on keyboard! Save your kinky comments until tomorrow.

Comment by Jeff

Ewwww…..on the vomit! Yikes!

Disgusting! I should not have watched it three times.

I don’t much like pro football, but I try to be a good sport about it. I don’t succeed, but I try hard. Well, I don’t try that hard. (I may have slipped into tomorrow’s topic here.)

Comment by TLP

Honeyball is my wife’s maiden name.

Not that she was ever a maiden, as such.

I’m glad she’ll never read this…

Comment by SinisterDan

Yikes, that was like a slap in the face, there I was expecting trophes, cheering, hugs and tears and sweaty shirts and then that. VOmit…not only once, but drawn back in again and out again…with teh spit and eveything. What did we ever do to you?


Loved it!

Comment by Penguin

Skiing! How did I forget that? Oh yeah, I haven’t been since moving to the Netherlands. Doh.

Comment by IDiveAtNight

BoBo: not as good as the SL Rams “fight song” (whatever that is…) but still, pretty fun, eh? except for the vomit. you’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again “what the hell is up with all the vomit?” πŸ˜•

Jeff: well i, er, that is, um… i’m sure it’s springs into life at the first, uh, stroke of your capable hand. πŸ™„

TLP: “vomit”, yes, but at least it was pink vomit — making it almost, um, palatable (good thing, too, since it went back into that guy’s mouth 3 or 4 times). laughing, because i’m pretty sure “try harder” is the reason Viagra is such a popular product! πŸ˜‰

SinisterDan: (and welcome!) Honeyball? guessing you asked her to tell you her name manyMANY times when you two first met. πŸ™‚

Penguin: yeah, the “spew” was a bit too “eww” for me, too. glad you enjoyed the silliness (“Yellow Ball”? “Diamond Bag”? “Iced canes“?? heh… that’s just good comedy, that’s what that is!) so… had you heard of Nettie prior to today? (see, in my head where i’m so clever i can’t stand it, featuring a female “football” player on the NFL’s regular season opening night was just brilliant. apparently, to everyone who reads our blog, not so much!) 😎

Morgan: i’ve heard skiing isn’t a very popular sport in the Netherlands. πŸ˜‰

Comment by snuppy

I thought it wa sbrilliant…I am actually trying to convinc edad to buy access to soem additional channels, so I cna watch American football. he’s not convinced yet. For some reason he doesn’t think it will help my studies at all!

Comment by Penguin

Penguin: *blushes* aw… thanks, girlfriend! as for convincing your dad to subscribe to a few more channels?? i’m pretty sure that’s a perfect means for “expanding” your educational horizons — which, of course, will help your “studies” rather nicely! just think of the “metaphorical” benefits! why, in no time flat you’d have reference points for all kinds of sports inspired phrases. unfortunately, the good football terms escape me, but i have no doubt you’d glean a thing or two from watching baseball, too! “getting to first base”, “heading for home”, “foul ball”, “striking out”?? i tell ya, the possibilities are endless! πŸ˜‰

Comment by snuppy

Those guys would get beat up in the locker room.

Comment by nessa

Those guys would get beat up in the cheerleaders’ locker room.

Comment by Diesel

those guys would get beat up in an empty locker room. πŸ˜‰

Comment by snuppy

Please, I don’t want to know what they do in private!

Comment by I Dive At Night

Those guys would get beat up alone in their rooms.

Comment by Theresa

Great post.

Comment by fred333

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