Central Snark

Cannibals by Snuppy
Monday, 24 September 2007, 9:01am
Filed under: funny..., music music | Tags:

WE know we shouldn’t, but we can’t help laughing at the word “cannibals” — which, in our current crazed state of mind makes us think of “can of balls”. Tennis anyone? (oh, if only those were the kind of “balls” we’re imagining inside that can…)

native girl?HEY kids! Once again it’s Monday, and you know what that means. That’s right, it means we’re again faced with the difficult task of trying to conjure up an appropriate “musical opposite” to another of our dear DJ LAMPSHA’S amazing Saturday spins. Fortunately, we’re delirious to report, we’ve exceeded our wildest expectations. Or are we simply so delirious we only think the following song qualifies as something deserving of cheesy laughs? No doubt you’ll let us know which is what, and/or vice versa, soon enough. (try not to think about that last sentence, it’ll only make your head hurt)

NOW, as we said, whether your own expectations (wild and/or otherwise) will be met remains to be seen, but, as you all know by now, that’s entirely beside the point. The point, which may have been used after sundown this past Saturday, in order to skewer a nice chicken for our exceedingly hungry NBFF, is that the following cheesy 80’s video is, in our deliriously humble opinion, just about as “opposite” as one can get to the exotically soothing tunes of Pharoah’s Daughter on the heels of a high Jewish holiday involving, among other things, a 25 hour fast. Cheap laughs are what we’re after, folks, and cheap laughs are what we intend to get. Even if the only laughter we hear today is our own. HAHAHAHAHA. (here we go again, cracking ourselves up in ways only explainable to our shrink)

WE wish we knew more about TOTO COELO, but, sadly, we do not. Suffice to say they were a “one-hit wonder girl-group”, and leave it at that. Okay, a “one-hit wonder girl-group” with bad hair and even worse outfits. Okay, okay — they also suffered from extremely unimaginative choreography. But that — really — is all we know. Except, maybe, for the fact that they’re British.

HEH… funny, but while “describing” this group, it suddenly occurred to us the following video is not only one of our Best “Musical Opposites” Ever, it’s a damn fine-yet-cheesy complement to the Sex, Ed? post we did last Friday. Oh, and speaking of last Friday, we are eternally grateful to the handful of good friends who cared enough to subject themselves to our distinct lack of blogging and/or fashion sense. But, as so often happens when we start feeling bitter about a few of our less-than-devoted so-called “friends” who DIDN’T bother to read a post described variously as “hilarious”, “brilliant” and/or “confusing”, we digress*. Where were we, again? Oh yeah… “tie-in”. Truth be told, sometimes we’re so good at this “tying in” crap we even surprise ourselves — exceeding our own wildest expectations for clever and/or cohesive content. Or is that just our delirious thinking again, spinning wildly out of control? Watch the video, and decide if we’re as good as we think, or suffering from an exceedingly bad case of “the delusionals”:

WOULD any of you think less of us if we told you we once had an outfit like that yellow one? Or that, despite making fun of this choreography, we have many of the same moves — and use them often in the privacy of our own kitchen? And finally, that, back in the late 70’s, our hair was not unlike the redhead’s? That’s right, we said the redhead’s. Hey, we were young(ish), perms were all the rage and oh-so-cheap, and, for us, “wild experimentation” meant “new hair color”. To say we looked “hot” would not just be a lie from the pits of hell, it would be a confirmation of our contention that, to quote ourselves: if we didn’t have any fashion sense, we’d have no sense at all.

THAT said, at least we managed to get ourselves over another “Monday Hump” and can now look forward to more winning and/or stat raising posts tomorrow and Wednesday, brought to us by our dear and delightful Snarky cohorts, CRUMMYJOEL and TEH PENGUIN. Yay.

*Later this week, we’ll angrily confront ourselves and point out how whiny and/or self-loathing we’ve sounded over the past few days, and then we’ll be sorry.


Thank jeebus the neon-clad natives are friendly at Humor-blogs.com.

18 Comments so far
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and speaking of “whiny” — is it wrong to be upset by the fact that NOT-Hazel has struck again, this time by breaking a very valuable — not to mention sentimental piece of pottery? oy vey. aside from the fact that she has more trials and/or tribulations than Job — and has ruined many a fine article of clothing and/or allowed bleach to “spill” on the carpet, she’s as lovely as the day is long. and very trustworthy. just not particularly… careful. πŸ™„

also speaking of “whiny” — pleasepleaseplease know i’m merely having fun mocking folks, and am in NO WAY offended that “everyone” didn’t stop by and/or leave comments last week. truth be told, our “traffic” has been fantastic. i promise — i only “mock” because i “love”. πŸ˜‰

Comment by snuppy

Okay first of all, your kitchen dance moves are way better than that…secondly, is that outfit still around? Thanks for the Monday laugh Snups…needed it.

Comment by BoBo

As hard as I try, I can’t imagine why this group didn’t become hugely successful. What on earth were we thinking in 1982 to not embrace these wonderfully talented and oh so original divas-to-be and propel them to stardom? If only we could go back in time and do it all over again.
*sigh* Oh well.

Comment by Jeff

Too funny! My youngest just came in while I was watching this and asked,”ΒΏPor que estΓ‘n tan feas?” (Why do they look so ugly?), so I guess that tells you what the youngest generation has to say. All I have to say is:
I will not eat a can of balls.
I will not eat them in the halls.
I will not eat them off the walls.
I will not eat them here or there.
I will not eat them anywhere. πŸ™‚

Comment by Theresa

This is a good fasting post, because I have completely lost my appetite.

Comment by Diesel

BoBo: not that you’re the least bit prejudiced, eh? πŸ˜‰

Jeff: i KNOW. aren’t they fantastic? i’m guessing Madonna merely beat them to the cheesy-diva-dancing punch, and the rest, as they say, is, um, herstory. πŸ™„

Theresa: hahahahaha. at first i thought those get-ups were made out of garbage bags, but then the blond tapped that balloon, and *poof* the girls were in color, so now i’m thinking they used cheap vinyl tablecloths. considering the name of the song, that would actually be kind of poetic. but mostly just cheap… and/or cheesy. πŸ˜‰

Comment by snuppy

Diesel: (oops, guess we cross-commented). so you’re saying i should have done Lampsha a big favor and used this video last Friday?? damn!. why didn’t I think of that? πŸ™„

Comment by snuppy

Hahahaha and I haven’t even seen the video yet (well I should say haven’t seen it in about 25 years) as sadly I remember the song, “I eat cannibal…it’s incredible.” Such thougtful lyrics – I’m not sure why they’re not still around. Wait a minute! Were they really cannibals!!!?

This is a hysterical and perfect MOCL post as has ever been posted. Good work SNups and excellent tie-ins, might I add?

Comment by Lampsha

“I eat cannibals
it’s incredible

All I wanna do
is make a meal of you!”

Soem lyrics just don’t get better, do they?!

Oh my, what an opposite indeed.

ther eis little mor eto sya to that band, but that I loved you funny puns in your post today. It always seem like tehy just rush out of you and you are jotting them down in a hurry. You make funny and witty look very easy!

Comment by Penguin

wow! That was great! In an awful sort of way, but great nevertheless!

I’ll be singing that song all day.


Comment by Pavel

Lampsha: so GLAD you approve, dearest NBFF! trust me, i needed something “good” to counter that amazing artist you introduced us to over the weekend (i loveloveloved her!) as for this song? uh-oh… i fear it might create an earworm you’ll find impossible to escape. which is why i’m thinking you might not want to show it to Choo Choo (just sayin’… it stays with ya LONG after the song is over). heh. πŸ˜‰

Penguin: nothing like a bunch of neon-clad Brits singin’ about chomping down on the object of their desire to jolt ya back into the real world, eh? and thanks for the compliments *blushes* you and Lampsha have talked to me in person enough to know my brain tends to race ahead of my mouth, more-often-than-not. pretty sure this is why a few others regard me as “crazy aunt Beatrice”, but what can i say? my head is like a box of chocolates… ya never know what you’re gonna find inside. and yes, it is scary, more times than not. πŸ™„

Pavel: what can i say? it may be “bad”, but hey, at least it’s got a good beat! something i hoped you’d appreciate. oh, and nice to see you, my friend! i know i haven’t been by much, either, but we do miss you here, and are always happy to see your name in the comment section! πŸ™‚

Comment by snuppy

Snuppy: Oh I have listened to you…quite amused…many a time. I find it charming, fascinating and slightly worrying in regards to over heating the brain:) I prefer it to a “Oh, did I tell you about the time I…” any day πŸ™‚

Comment by Penguin

Penguin: and vice versa, my dear sweet friend, and vice-versa. (okay, maybe my ramblings are WAY more, um, pronounced than yours, but still — i DO SO LOVELOVELOVE to hear all those “that time I almost …” stories you have!) heh heh. πŸ˜‰

ooooh, and speaking of “rambling”, look at me, going on and on when i’m supposed to be picking up a certain son of mine in that magical place known as “White Plains”. can’t wait to get him, too, because i’m dying to see what’s inside a certain package that arrived via Penguinmail just this afternoon! what could it be, hmmmmmmm………????? (inquiring minds want to know) πŸ™„

Comment by snuppy

lol the minute I saw this post the first thing I thought of was that damn song. I think that’s the first time I’ve heard it since it came out.

That song proves the point that there has always been a lot of shitty music. It’s not a new thing. hehe

Comment by Chris C

So, it is illegal to eat cannibals, isn’t it? Or is this just another sexual activity?

That video is so wonderful. I miss stuff like that. All my taste is in my mouth.

Comment by TLP

Chris: since it came out, or you did? (kidding… i kid. not that there’s ANYTHING wrong with coming out, mind you.) er… where was i before OD-ing on my crazy pills? oh yeah — heh heh — now that this stupid song has been bouncing around in my head for the past several hours (who knew it would become such a freakin’ earworm?) i have to say it’s not all that bad. on the other hand, that dancing is just plain juvenile. πŸ™‚

TLP: i KNOW! “eat me” “eat you”… this could have provided hours of conversation for our next Sex, Ed? post! what the hell was i thinking? and let me get this straight: I have no sense… YOU have no taste? wanna start a girl-group? i’ve already got MY dress… and i’m pretty sure i can whip my hair into a frenzy, given enough time and/or hair gel. whaddaya think? (“abet” G would join us for such a venture in a New York minute) πŸ˜‰

Comment by snuppy

by the way, am i the only one who thought the lighting was almost as bad as the choreography in this video? also — considering the nature of this goofy group (who were apparently “silly” by design), members of the rock band Toto were allegedly concerned that some of their fans (the stupid ones, i guess) might get confused, because the names of the two groups were so similar — which is why these gals changed their name to “Total Coelo” when they released “I Eat Cannibals” in the US. now that’s funny. 😎

Comment by snuppy

Lighten up Toto! Now that is funny. Although I’d be concerned about being confused with them too! Some director actually thought this was a good idea huh? Amazing.

You’re right, I can never show this to ChooChoo.


Comment by Lampsha

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