Central Snark

Age is an Issue… by Snuppy
Thursday, 27 September 2007, 9:35am
Filed under: funny...

… of Mind over Matter. If you don’t Mind, it doesn’t Matter. ~ Mark Twain

baby janeYA know what that is, kids? That is a big fat lie from the pits of deepest darkest hell. Just saying… gettin’ old may not be the worst thing that can happen, but it’s no stroll in the park, either. On the other hand, as so many folks (usually those younger than us) are happy to point out, it sure as hell beats the alternative. But that, as we like to say, is beside the point. The point, which is often difficult to see without reading glasses, is that we had a birthday earlier this week, and, thanks in no small part to you, it was actually a lot of fun. Unfortunately, because we were so busy “celebrating”, we didn’t bother to figure out what to post for today. Not that we’ve ever let something like a “birthday celebration” stop us from slacking off in the past, of course, but who are we to look a perfectly good excuse in the face — with or without our reading glasses — and not jump at the chance to use it?

ALL this to say, thank the merciful Bloggods there are loads of entertaining things going on around the blogosphere that have nothing to do with aging birthday girls and/or failing eyesight. Why not check out a few of our favorites, handily listed in our sidebar, and come back here tomorrow, when we’re feeling more like ourselves? Not sure what that means — honestly, since we stopped drinking all those many years ago, we’ve been feeling like nothing BUT ourselves, and…. loving it. Not in “that” way, mind you, but still, some of us feel pretty damn good for old bloggers who don’t have enough sense NOT to post an especially unflattering photo of ourselves splattered in yellow font.

youth sucks

BUT, as so often happens when we’re confronted with the fact that old age and/or sobriety can’t stop us from being stupid, we digress. We intended to mention that one of our favorites (and regular contributor extraordinaire) CRUMMYJOEL, is featuring a Grummy Guest who may or may not be related to that crummy book-selling whore our “newish” pal CHRIS (commenter extraordinarie) is featuring on his site, today, as well. (coincidence? we think not) A book-pimping/attention grabbing whore (and clever/hilarious Snark co-administrator extraordinaire), we hasten to add, that we, ourselves pimp here on a regular basis — despite the fact we’ve now purchased almost a dozen copies of his hilarious book ourselves (or maybe because) and/or missed out on making into the caption finals for a second week in a row (Best Dumb Blond Joke, ever??? That’s comedy gold, kids. At least we thought so when we submitted it. But then, we didn’t just write a soon-to-be-best selling humor book, so what the hell do we know?)

ALSO, it’s well worth noting teh lovely (and surprisingly sappy) PENGUIN (one of the original fabulous Snark co-administrators, extraordinaire) always features a decidedly not-crummy and oh-so-fun “brain teaser” that “technically” falls on Thursdays, tho’ exactly when is anyone’s guess.

THEN, in a nod towards this week’s “surprise” contributor, we’d like to direct your fleeting attention to our dear friend, WALELA (curmudgeon extraordinaire), who’s too damn young to be such an irascible old man, but again we say, what the hell do we know? After all, we still smarting from our rejected “dumb blond” joke. Whatever. When we’re in the mood to feel really “challenged” (in more ways than one) we love to go over to his site and try our hand at crafting clever definitions for the words he features every day. Generally we fail, miserably, and wind up in a corner, next to our drool rag. But that doesn’t stop us from going back the next day, to try again.

WE have many more sites we plan to start highlighting from time to time, but the above should suffice for now. In an effort to send you on your way, we’d like to leave you with the words of Bette Davis, who once said “Old age ain’t no place for sissies“. We agree. Truth be told, we weren’t sissies in our so-called “youth”, and we sure as hell don’t plan to be sissies now. That said, and not wanting to expose any of you to yet, another, in a series of annoying YouTube videos, we’ve elected to link to a very short-yet-hysterical clip sent by our “older” sister a few months ago, which reminds us that A) plenty of folks out there are way older than we are (including our aforementioned sibling), B) “old” ladies rock, and C) when driving our expensive cars, we must always be patient when stopped at crosswalks, because, DAMN.

(BY the way, we’ve decided Twain’s quote would read better if worded thusly: “Age is an issue of Mind over Matter, once you’ve lost your Mind, the only thing that Matters is getting to the bathroom before peeing on the kitchen floor.” Since we’re not at that juncture, just yet, we think we’ll be okay for a few more years.)


Tap into your inner child at Humor-blogs.com.

20 Comments so far
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lest anyone think i’m “copying” Diesel in highlighting other folks’ blogs, it should be noted we used to do this all the time, back when the Snark was still trying to find its groove. just saying… “shout outs” are nothin’ new here.

besides, how could i NOT link to not one, but TWO Diesel-related posts? especially when to do so gets me so handily and/or funnily off the “blogging hook”? πŸ˜‰

also, let that picture (of me) serve to caution one and all that snapping one’s own photo the day before a birthday, under harsh bathroom lighting, can only lead to heartache. (the horror, the horror) πŸ™„

PS: check out that clip, trust me, it’s completely hilarious. and only 30 seconds long, so it’s not like you’ll lose your whole day. heh.

Comment by snuppy

That is a funny clip, and good for the young folks to see.

Comment by weirsdo

Snuppy do you take pictures of yourself often? Is there something you’re not telling me?

Comment by BoBo

I dunno, I kind of like the picture. Try as you might to hide behind a cap and yellow words, but you’re looking fine to me. Now, if I could only remember how to make one of those “kiss” emoticons, I’d plant one on you right here.

Comment by Jeff

Oops, that sure as hell wasn’t it. I guess I need more training.

Comment by Jeff

Age…what a fun thing. You start out so completely overwhelmed at the wonder of everthing that you just stare there in dumb awe while somebody changes your diapers. Then, by the end you are so full of the BS and the been there/done that from a life full of work, commuting, reality TV etc. that you end up staring in a dumb mind-numbing stupor while somebody changes your diaper. Isn’t the full circle cycle fun?

Comment by VE

Not to worry about old age. It doesn’t last forever. Just sayin’.

Great video!!!!!

Comment by tlp

Weirsdo: i think my son thought it was a “set up” bit, until he saw the look on that old gal’s face after smacking that car with her bag. i’ve been saving this clip for months, and i’m grateful for the excuse to share it. glad you liked! πŸ™‚

BoBo: hahahaha. think about that one for just a tick. you know how much i hatehatehate the camera. i just thought it would be funny to see if i could capture the essence of my own “angst” over growing another year older. if you’re lucky, i’ll show you the others in the privacy of our own, ahem, bedroom, as long as you promise not to puke. πŸ˜‰

Jeff: uh… thanks? actually, i howled when i saw that, and went into the comment section to see what “code” you used. not sure there is one for “kisses”, but i appreciate the sentiment, and accept yours with gratitude. (thanks for not puking). πŸ˜€

VE: oy. just thinking about those diapers makes me verklempt. (i may puke) of course, i once read that John Wayne had, like, 80 pounds of impacted fecal matter in his large intestine, at the time of his death — which tells me i’d MUCH rather wear diapers than die full of shit. πŸ™„

TLP: isn’t that video fantastic? the look on that woman’s face is priceless (actually, the way she “starts” when he first honks the horn is kind of funny, too). tellin’ ya, that’s the level of “feisty old-lady-ness” i aspire to, one day. as for “old age not lasting forever”? heh… always something to keep in mind, when complaining about creaking joints, middle of the night bathroom trips, and/or faltering eyesight, and that’s a fact! πŸ˜‰

Comment by snuppy

I’m still wearing a diaper!

Thanks for the link πŸ™‚ Apparently it’s whore day for me as well. I forgot I had a post over at RL about the freegans out today and then the link here.

Comment by Chris C

Oh I looooove the video. And is that your face being graffittied? I’d whistle but…congested sinuses so I’ll just flip two thumbs up at ya.

Comment by littlebluepill

Well, in the old days, back when emoticons weren’t automatically converted to little anthropomorphic smiley faces, you used to be able to key it in by using a colon, dash and a small x. But that is SO web 1.0 now.

Comment by Jeff

Chris: what… are you trying to give Diesel a run for his whore-money? heh… guess i’ll have to go check check out your clever and/or hilarious guest post — HERE. πŸ˜‰

LBP: ya know, i thought i saw something about a “cold” the other day. i’m SOOOOOOOOO SORRY. that sucks, maybe even more than being abandoned by one’s “youth”. feel better, lovely girlfriend — i’m still holding on to the hope that you’ll be in the “mood” to tap into that fertile imagination of yours and treat us to another “Sex, Ed?” post one of these days, soon! (and yes, that woman behind the yellow graffiti is moi.) πŸ™„

Jeff: just laughing at that last line of yours. pretty sure emoticons are rarely what they’re cracked up to be. altho’ they do help set the “tone” from time to time. that said, xoxox will always be my favorite way to pass along kisses and/or hugs. πŸ˜‰

Comment by snuppy

Speaking of old age … that clip reminds me of the late John Muir, author of one of the essential volumes of Hippiedom, How to Keep Your Volkswagen Alive … He lamented that the late-1970s VWs had so much stuff in them that they were becoming impossible for the compleat idiot to maintain. A lot of that stuff was Federally-mandated safety gear. “Hey”, he bitched, “are they making these cars to drive, or to have an accident in? And this was way before airbags … I’m sure he would have had a grand old field day with Grandma.

Comment by oceallaigh

Having recently seen another birthday come and go, I can safely say that one is only as young as one feels. And I feel a great many young women so think I shall live forever.

Comment by Lord Likely

You are wearing earrings! DId I ever see you wearing earrings? I guess you dressed up for teh occasion, huh?!

You look as beautiful as ever, slightly pissed off at teh mirror though πŸ™‚

the clip was fantastic and just so you know…Pneguins published 10 minutes to midnight. It wa sstill Thursday πŸ™‚

Comment by Penguin

OC: ya know, when i started to read your comment, my eyes jumped from “John Muir” to VW, and suddenly i was wondering how he managed to blaze that trail through the Sierra Nevadas in such a small car. (yes, i’m old and ADDled) πŸ™‚

Lord Likely: i had this sudden image of you as a “kindergarten” teacher, and wondered if we were gonna have to turn you in. that said, i hear ya, man — why do you think i’m married to a man 6 years my junior? πŸ˜‰

Penguin: girlfriend, i wear those earrings every day. you just didn’t notice them because of my dazzling smile… and/or my hat! and you have almost always to hit that Thursday deadline, so i wasn’t worried. as for that mirror? the only thing that kept it from having an Unfortunate Encounter with the Floor was my fear that the ensuing 7 years’ worth of bad luck would result in a whole set of wrinkles! aieeeeeee. πŸ™„

Comment by snuppy

I don’t see the picture, just a big blank space. What’s going on? Wait, I’m going to Explorer…yep, it must be a Firefox problem. Why can’t all these damn browsers just work the same? You look great, I don’t know what you’re worried about. And now my curiosity about what you look like has been satisfied, so it’s a great day for all. The granny clip was just brilliant! Looks like the guy got what he deserved.

Comment by Theresa

Theresa: so sorry you were having a problem. so weird, especially since i use Firefox, too. what’s up with that? (i’m bettin’ “conspiracy”, but who knows for sure?) oh, and thanks, my friend, for the compliment. also, THANKS for not saying “gee, I hope I look as good as you do when I get to be your age”. i hate that, yet i seem to hear it all the time. (serves me right, since i was known to use that line on more than a few occasions in my “youth”) usually i just look incredulous and say something like “Are you telling me you’re not my age? Whoa.” πŸ™„

Comment by snuppy

Crickey girlfriend…you look just like I’d imagine you would…if I went around imagining how girls look. And I don’t. Really.

Comment by littlebluepill

LBP: you imagined my face covered in a yellow font? interesting. πŸ˜‰

Comment by snuppy

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