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… of Mind over Matter. If you don’t Mind, it doesn’t Matter. ~ Mark Twain
YA know what that is, kids? That is a big fat lie from the pits of deepest darkest hell. Just saying… gettin’ old may not be the worst thing that can happen, but it’s no stroll in the park, either. On the other hand, as so many folks (usually those younger than us) are happy to point out, it sure as hell beats the alternative. But that, as we like to say, is beside the point. The point, which is often difficult to see without reading glasses, is that we had a birthday earlier this week, and, thanks in no small part to you, it was actually a lot of fun. Unfortunately, because we were so busy “celebrating”, we didn’t bother to figure out what to post for today. Not that we’ve ever let something like a “birthday celebration” stop us from slacking off in the past, of course, but who are we to look a perfectly good excuse in the face — with or without our reading glasses — and not jump at the chance to use it?
ALL this to say, thank the merciful Bloggods there are loads of entertaining things going on around the blogosphere that have nothing to do with aging birthday girls and/or failing eyesight. Why not check out a few of our favorites, handily listed in our sidebar, and come back here tomorrow, when we’re feeling more like ourselves? Not sure what that means — honestly, since we stopped drinking all those many years ago, we’ve been feeling like nothing BUT ourselves, and…. loving it. Not in “that” way, mind you, but still, some of us feel pretty damn good for old bloggers who don’t have enough sense NOT to post an especially unflattering photo of ourselves splattered in yellow font.
BUT, as so often happens when we’re confronted with the fact that old age and/or sobriety can’t stop us from being stupid, we digress. We intended to mention that one of our favorites (and regular contributor extraordinaire) CRUMMYJOEL, is featuring a Grummy Guest who may or may not be related to that crummy book-selling whore our “newish” pal CHRIS (commenter extraordinarie) is featuring on his site, today, as well. (coincidence? we think not) A book-pimping/attention grabbing whore (and clever/hilarious Snark co-administrator extraordinaire), we hasten to add, that we, ourselves pimp here on a regular basis — despite the fact we’ve now purchased almost a dozen copies of his hilarious book ourselves (or maybe because) and/or missed out on making into the caption finals for a second week in a row (Best Dumb Blond Joke, ever??? That’s comedy gold, kids. At least we thought so when we submitted it. But then, we didn’t just write a soon-to-be-best selling humor book, so what the hell do we know?)
ALSO, it’s well worth noting teh lovely (and surprisingly sappy) PENGUIN (one of the original fabulous Snark co-administrators, extraordinaire) always features a decidedly not-crummy and oh-so-fun “brain teaser” that “technically” falls on Thursdays, tho’ exactly when is anyone’s guess.
THEN, in a nod towards this week’s “surprise” contributor, we’d like to direct your fleeting attention to our dear friend, WALELA (curmudgeon extraordinaire), who’s too damn young to be such an irascible old man, but again we say, what the hell do we know? After all, we still smarting from our rejected “dumb blond” joke. Whatever. When we’re in the mood to feel really “challenged” (in more ways than one) we love to go over to his site and try our hand at crafting clever definitions for the words he features every day. Generally we fail, miserably, and wind up in a corner, next to our drool rag. But that doesn’t stop us from going back the next day, to try again.
WE have many more sites we plan to start highlighting from time to time, but the above should suffice for now. In an effort to send you on your way, we’d like to leave you with the words of Bette Davis, who once said “Old age ain’t no place for sissies“. We agree. Truth be told, we weren’t sissies in our so-called “youth”, and we sure as hell don’t plan to be sissies now. That said, and not wanting to expose any of you to yet, another, in a series of annoying YouTube videos, we’ve elected to link to a very short-yet-hysterical clip sent by our “older” sister a few months ago, which reminds us that A) plenty of folks out there are way older than we are (including our aforementioned sibling), B) “old” ladies rock, and C) when driving our expensive cars, we must always be patient when stopped at crosswalks, because, DAMN.
(BY the way, we’ve decided Twain’s quote would read better if worded thusly: “Age is an issue of Mind over Matter, once you’ve lost your Mind, the only thing that Matters is getting to the bathroom before peeing on the kitchen floor.” Since we’re not at that juncture, just yet, we think we’ll be okay for a few more years.)
Tap into your inner child at Humor-blogs.com.
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