Central Snark

Dumb laws! by Snuppy
Wednesday, 14 November 2007, 7:27am
Filed under: funny..., lists, Teh Penguin

images5.jpegYou have to excuse me this week, I am preparing for 5 mind-boggling finals and all I need is to laugh and forget for a second that I got a few brain cells. Nothing tickles a European as much as the silliness quirkiness that Americans can display. Mind you, we have enough of our own, but it is way easier to point at others.

• Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.

I can understand that, why use animals, when you have enough visually equal humans to fill that role.

• Even though it is legal to hunt a bear, it is illegal to wake a bear and take a picture for photo opportunities.

That makes sense, guess they lost a lot of people that way!

• Flirtation between the members of the opposite sex on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.

I can make my peace with that! I’d feel differently if BIG Rock was concerned.

Hollywood: It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.

On account of there already being enough mewling buffoons located within the vicinity.

• Crippe Creek: It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.

Does this include the bell boy?

• In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.

That is so boink-ist. What if it is too depressed to bounce?

In all fairness, I have not contacted the local authorities to check these bits of trivia, but I think the world is a more colorful place with them in it. If you have a few silly rules that you know off, share them with us!

~Penguin out!

The only rule at Homor-Blogs is that there are no rules (and to worship Diesel of course!)

15 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Great commentary, Penguin. The 2000-sheep limit must have a tourist exemption, I’m thinking.

I think the Glass-Steagle act was out-dated and ridiculous!

Comment by Walela

laughing at your comment regarding “mewling buffoons” — and wondering if those are the same folks who came up with Connecticut’s Bouncing Pickle Law.

I read that it’s illegal to purchase meat of any kind on Sunday in the state of Washington, funny by my way of thinking. but then, this is the same state that only made it illegal to marry an animal LAST YEAR (i kid you not).

GREAT POST, dear and funny little Penguin!! good luck with those finals, and lemme know if we need to bounce a few pickles off the heads of your professors! 🙂

Comment by snuppy

on a related side note — an attorney friend once told us of a trial he attended, in which the defendant was dumber than a bag of hammers. during the attorney’s closing statements, he said “Remember that everyone is innocent until proven guilty. That said, there’s no law that guarantees a defendant’s right not to be stupid.” (perhaps you should do a post about dumb criminals down the road??) 😉

Comment by snuppy

Walela, that was like in 1933, you must have been a mere child back then! *ducks*

snuppy, a bag of pickle certainly could be bounced off some of my preofessor’s head…granted that I am more than likely to fail these exams, I am surprised I am studying thsi heart. I should just use the time during teh exam to write strong worded letters to eahc of them…in friggin’ English! Joel told me about that one last tiem when I stayed with you guys, I love that quote!

Comment by Penguin

I understand that in Tennessee, it’s illegal to pay a prostitute with South African Krugerands.

Comment by Diesel

I am still laughing. Looks like finals don’t keep you from being funny. I used to get pretty silly myself at finals time…okay, I was pretty silly all the time (silly, not necessarily funny). Well, I broke the law in Riverside, California, where kissing on the lips, unless both parties wipe their lips with carbonized rose water, is against the local health ordinance. It’s also illegal for roosters to crow within city limits in Ontario (where I grew up), but that just makes for better sleeping. 🙂

Comment by Theresa

But I can go to Cripple Creek and take my ass up to the higher floors? Damn.

Comment by Howard

Here’s one for the first of next month. In Kansas, rabbits may not be shot from motorboats. Don’t know if that means “killed with firearms” or “ejected from firearms”. The latter conjures up images of Johnny Appleseed, except with bunnies and a mortar.

In Hawai`i, all residents may be fines for not owning a boat. No mention of shooting rabbits from them.

Comment by oceallaigh

Diesel, I thought prostitution in itself was forbidden as a whole in America. Wrong? In Arkansas you are allowed to beat your wife, granted with no object bigger than your thumb!

Theresa, I bet Canadians are weird…I will find more dirt on them in a follow-up of this 🙂

Howard, I think you are allowed to take your ass pretty much anywhere up one floor, although there are rules in Connecticut about too short pink pants covering your behind!

OC, I take it few rednecks live in Kansas 🙂

Comment by Penguin

You kidding, Minka? Rednecks in Kansas? No sir. We’uns went South. Hell, Kansas is one o’ them damnyankee states!

And in the great American state of Nevada, prostitution is not only legal but licensed. Except where the county’s population exceeds 400,000. So in Las Vegas, you have to go underground just like everyplace else. ‘Course, the whole city is a whore, so you don’t have to go very far underground. 37th floor of the Wynn should do it.

Comment by oceallaigh

Oc, that’s what I thought! Take shootin’ them rabbits away and how much of a redneck have you got left? Nevada and Hamburg should certainly establish some business ties… 🙂 In Iceland prostitution is illegal, which doesn’t stop anybody from being affectionate with strangers!

Comment by Penguin

so if I call a ball a pickle it is if it bounces? I am confused and befuddled.

Comment by Chris C

Hilarious! Well done Penguin.

Uhm, it’s not a law, specifically, but may I advise than when you throw that pickle at a prof you should take it out of the glass jar first.

Study hard, you’re do great!

Comment by IDiveAtNight

Chris C…you’ll fit right into the species of homo sapiens, then 🙂

Morgan, you ARE tired. At least two mistakes in your comment, somethign I am not used to from you. Throw a pickle at my professor? I am German, we use poisoned apples 😉

Comment by Penguin

I should have said Ontario, California. My bad.

Comment by Theresa

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