ONE of the (many) things we love about our friends, is that they (sometimes) send us hilarious stuff via e-mail. In a sea of spam, it’s a genuine treat to find such flotsam and/or jetsam, especially when we’re at a loss for something to write. Not that that’s the case today, mind you, for we have Many Interesting Topics from which to plumb a good post. Still, we couldn’t help but chuckle when we saw the header REAL NEWSPAPER ADS, in a note we got from a lovely pal with a true passion for dogs (she has 3) as well as for silliness (something we’ve been accused of, ourselves) and we found it difficult NOT to share. Hopefully you’ll find the following listings as amusing as we did. If not, kindly keep your opinions to yourselves — we suffer under the delusion we know good humor when we see it (witness JEFF’S hilarious debut Snark post, yesterday) — no point bursting our laugh bubbles just because you wouldn’t know a good joke if it was served up on a hot plate with a side of fried potatoes, right?
REAL (really) NEWSPAPER ADS
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER:
8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.
Mother, AKC German Shepherd
Father, Super Dog…able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat… Been out a while.
Better be a reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
Moving along to a few other “interesting” items…
$300 hardly used, call Chubby.
California grown — 89 cents lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE.
FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica
45 volumes, Excellent Condition
$1000 or best offer
No longer needed, Got Married last month
Wife knows everything.
OKAY, so maybe we’re the only ones who think these are funny. But guess what? We’re the only ones writing this post. So, you know, neener neener neener. If you don’t like it, feel free to take that damn platter of cold fries and… go sit at someone else’s blog. (sorry, we get testy when we’re hungry and/or making an effort to make you laugh)
Free to good home: Humor-blogs.com.
*Speaking of crummy ads and/or Humor-blogs.com (and we were) — be sure to check out CRUMMY(not)JOEL‘s crummy (SO not) book about Crummy Church Signs. There’s still time to pick up a copy (or 12) before the Holiday Rush depletes his supply and/or — despite the bargain price — renders he and his lovely wife so wealthy they move to Bermuda in order to live in a diamond house next door to Michael Douglas and his wife, Catherine Alpha-Beta-Zeta-Jones, Inc. Just sayin’… we got finally our own copies yesterday (yeah, he sent ours out last, and what’s up with that?), and were
shocked surprised delighted to note the book is not just “good”, it’s really really good — maybe even brillaint. (what can we say, we loveloveloved it, and are reasonably certain you kids will, too)
Also, we’re of a mind to believe he’ll return to the Snark fold once the newness of publishing a book begins to wane. Of course, that’s what we thought would happen after DIESEL published his speclaughlar book, and you see how well that’s worked out.
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