Central Snark

How Clean is Your Place? by littlebluepill
Friday, 30 November 2007, 9:15am
Filed under: funny..., LBP's Rx

Jenn's new avatar : )I’m not a tidy person. If I know I’m having company come over it takes me awhile to prepare because everything has to be cleaned from top to bottom. I’m not a pig, I’m just not tidy. The t.v. show “How Clean is Your House?” makes me feel confident that I am not that bad of a housekeeper. It’s the little things that are reassuring. It does annoy me however when I go to friends’ houses and they say “Sorry for the mess.” and I look around and see nothing wrong. “What mess?” “I didn’t vacuum.” Uhm. Okay. My vacuum is currently a coat rack.

It doesn’t, however, take much to gross me out. Friday as I ventured into the coldest effing washroom I’ve been in since Banff’s Hard Rock Cafe, I gazed around and felt my (totally inadequate–hello I said no banana peppers not more) bbq chicken quesadilla rising back up. The tiles and grout were covered in grunge not mud from winter boots but grunge because I looked and said grunge was crawling along the plumbing to the toilet. I emerged, looked at my mom and said, “I’m never eating here again.”

That being said, my lack of cleanliness/order did get me into trouble awhile back. I have piss poor wiring in my condo. I don’t know if they were drunk or what, but the wire isn’t fully connected to the screws inside my wall. Hello fire hazard. I know this. I am on a mission to clean out my second bedroom (started a couple of months ago) to call in my electrician to have him check every outlet in my condo as my bedroom has had 3 blackouts because of this wiring snafu. So I did a quick clean (ie. everything gets thrown into a laundry basket and tossed in the spare room hence the monumental task of cleaning out said second room) and the bedroom was hastily cleaned. In walked the electrician and he wandered into my room to check out the outlets. I stood there and I looked over at my night stand. Heat immediately crawled up my cheeks as I reached over and slid the newly spotted item under my pillow.

I think I need to go to Ikea.

~ pig pen little blue pill sharing way tmi dontcha think?

Pick up more funny vibes (and/or batteries) at Humor-blogs.com.


16 Comments so far
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hmmm — so what you’re saying is that you’re “messy”, but still veryvery happy, eh LBP? good to know. heh heh. or NOT, because maybe that is tmi. πŸ˜‰

kidding, i kid! this post is hilarious and so is that video! oh. my. goodness. that said, am i the only one who wondered what the parents of that baby thought when they first saw this commercial?? oy. imagine, down the road, showing off baby books with family/friends and then asking ’em if they’d care to see the national TV ad “jr” was in? talk about yer “Hallmark” moment. πŸ™„

Comment by snuppy

It was a book of victorian poetry, wasn’t it? You minx!

Comment by Walela

Good post. By a strange coincidence, our vaccuum is usually used to hang my husband’s pants on. One day I must tell the kids what it’s really for.

Comment by weirsdo

I am not a subject for “how clean is your house” yet, but my room could be tidier. Infact thsi advert might have stimulate dme to get up and look for the vaccum cleaner, it must be aorund here somewhere.

The video makes an excellent point for one, and I kinda hope by tidying up things will pop up that I was always looking for.

Comment by Penguin

Now what was on that nightstand – think, think.

In my mind, I’m very tidy. Well actually, that’s not true either – it can get pretty cluttered in there as well. I am a neat person by nature (due to OCD-ish tendencies to not be able to concentrate when things are assunder), but I’m outnumbered by three – and now doggie makes 4 not so neat family members.

That’s why I relax and look at tidy lovely rooms in magazines…and dream.

I’ll have to see the video later – work does not allow sound files in so I can only look at the image. D’oh.

Comment by Lampsha

Was what was on your nightstand what blew out the electricity? Just trying to create a scenario here.

Comment by Lampsha

A friend of mine is a mechanic. Once while looking for the key to the wheel locks in a Honda he opened the center console. He found the key, nestled beneath a large dildo.
He took great pleasure in calling the lady and saying “Your car is done….we had some trouble finding the key to the wheel locks, but we found it…”
He said he never saw a customer come in, pay, and leave so fast in his life.

Comment by Shieldmaiden96

Err mildly happy, Snuppy. I crack up every time I watch this video. Thankfully he has no idea what he’s playing with. Gotta finish that tidying up so I can have a plumber come in and tell me why I’m not getting hot water out of my shower.

Doug, there’s nothing like a good book of Victorian poetry.

Weirsdo, this is why upright vacuums are a bad idea. I need one I can hide under my bed. And not use.

Penguin, better you clean and make discoveries then someone else. Just look at our example!

Lampsha, it was my victorian book of poetry! And it was my new portable air conditioner that caused the shortage. Kind of. Also unplugging my laptop from the problem outlet when I was going on holidays.

Shieldmaiden…that is so fricken hilarious I’m glad I hadn’t yet nipped into my After Eight hot chocolate.

Comment by littlebluepill

That video is hysterical. You gotta admit, it would make a pretty cool toy. For a kid I mean. To play with like a rocket. Help.

Comment by Jeff

Jeff: i confess to being so naive when i first watched this video that i actually thought it was an Unfortunately Shaped Rocket Ship. but then i put 1 & 1 together (LBP’s punchline and this visual) and realized what that “thing” rolling around the floor really was! d’oh! πŸ™„

Comment by snuppy

LBP: okay okay — so i totally forgot you had that cool new avatar, which is why i used the old one when i first published this wonderful post this morning. but hey, new blog/new avatar — i believe we need to show off BOTH! all this to say i went ahead and changed the picture up there in hopes you wouldn’t mind! πŸ˜‰

Comment by snuppy

That is too funny. Well, if you have kids you learn to put away all your toys right after you are done with them…
wouldn’t do for the children to think it’s A-ok to just leave your stuff lying around.

Comment by claire

I keep wondering if that “toy” is clean enough for the kid to be playing with. I know, I know…I have serious problems.

Where do people buy those things? Just askin’. Not planning on a shopping trip. Do they come in better colors? More real looking? Just innocent questions. Don’t read anything into them. What kind of batteries will I need? I mean, what kind of batteries would one buy for it, IF one where to make such a purchase. Not that I would.

Comment by tlp

Jeff, it is a pretty cool toy.

Snuppy, your sweetness is showing. I admit the first time I saw it I was all “Whoa!” But no math was needed for me.

Claire, well, obviously I don’t have kids then.

TLP: You One could find them all via google. You One can find one with batteries ranging from rechargable to D (yes…D. scary huh). Better colours and even real lookings ones can also be found for one you…crap…found. Start your Christmas shopping! Apparently they’re now for all ages!

Comment by littlebluepill

OMG, I’m still laughing at that video! You know, not too long ago, I saw a picture of a new designer version of such a toy in a magazine (a normal magazine, we’re very liberal over here in Spain). It looked like some sort of modern sculpture, and you can’t really tell what it’s for at first glance. Maybe you should check one of those out, to avoid future “incidents”. πŸ˜‰

Comment by Theresa

Wow. What an awesome video. One they’ve probably never played in the United States 😦 But awesome still.

Oh yeah, my vacuum cleaner is always in the middle of the room yet hardly ever used. It’s just there because I can’t fit it in my closets with all the other junk I throw in there.

Comment by Big Momma Pimpalishisness With A Cherry On Top

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