Central Snark


Holiday Greetings by Snuppy
Wednesday, 26 December 2007, 9:54am
Filed under: funny..., holidays

suicidal snowmanCALL us crazy, but we think this may be the BEST Christmas card, ever. And we’re not just saying that because A) it was sent to us via e-mail by our beloved cane-totin’ son, in lieu of giving us an Actual Card and/or Gift, B) speaking of gifts, we have many (from people who are NOT our son) we need to exchange, and are freaking out at thoughts of attempting to do so on the Busiest Freakin’ Shopping Day of the Whole Freakin’ Year, C) it’s Boxing Day in Canada, which means, uh, something, D) following 38 back-to-back viewings of our Favorite Christmas Movie, we want to shoot our eye out, and D) we ate so much Delicious Holiday Food for dinner last night we almost puked.

ALSO, we never quite got around to mailing out any of our Actual Christmas Cards to any of our Actual Friends, of which there are very few. And we’re not talking about the folks who saw fit to send US Actual Christmas Cards, like, say, our Landscape Service People, the Staff at Starbucks, and/or Lenny, the Bug Guy. These people are quite nice and certainly appreciate our business, but we know what a “friend” is, and Lenny? Just because we’ve listened to you ramble about that “girlfriend” you’ve been stalking and/or your “issues” with her need for “time off” (it’s been 2 years Lenny, let it go) don’t think for one minute we consider you a “friend”. You creep us out, Lenny, and we think you know that — or you will the moment you pull off those “if I can get her alone for a few weeks I know I can make her love me” blinders. But, as too often happens when we’re wondering how to get Lenny out of our lives and/or bending over the toilet in order to relieve ourselves of too much figgy pudding, we digress. We were telling you about the cards we didn’t mail, which are currently stacked neatly on the counter, next to all the gifts we plan to list on ebay return, after the first of the year. Ho Ho Woe...

According to our Ungrateful Son, the above festive/charming e-card was found on [adult swim]— home to many fine and/or disturbing programs.

~snuppy

Next year, everyone’s getting a subscription to Humor-blogs.com.

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10 Comments so far
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so sorry to any and/or all who expected to find one of TEH PENGUIN’S fine postings here, today. apparently she’s been too busy “celebrating” the holidays to take a moment or two to offer up words of cheer. okay, so maybe i’m just bitter by the fact she flew off to Parts Unknown in order to decorate Gingerbread Houses and/or learn the True Meaning of Holiday Gluttony, but still, would it kill her to flap those flightless wings a bit in order to say “I’m okay and/or having fun”? πŸ˜‰

(Penguin: i’m truly kidding, for i KNOW you’re having a grand time, and, as such, way to busy to bother with a post!)

Comment by snuppy

Ah yes, another Christmas come and gone. Just heard on the news that the increase in spending this year was at an all-time low so I’m guessing retailers will start with the hard sell for Christmas ’08 some time right after Easter. Happy New Year anyone?

Comment by BoBo

We’re also big fans of the Christmas Story marathon and capped off the last one with hot cocoa in hand. Of course, that proved to be a bad move as the kids were all wired up and wouldn’t go to bed.

Well enjoy the post holiday and whatver you do, don’t go near a store!!! XOX

Comment by Lampsha

Hi everyone! Haven’t been around for a bit but just wanted to wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR and I hope everyone had a grand time with family and friends.
Bobo, I hope you’re not right about when they’ll be pushing Christmas. I don’t like seeing Christmas decoration until after Halloween. (smile)

Comment by Pavel

Of course I watched the Christmas Story all the way through, and then watched it on and off over and over as I cooked,etc. I think Peter Billingsley was a cute kid, and check him out NOW. He’s hot!

The list of stuff I never got around to this Christmas is long, but guess what? Christmas came anyway! Amazing.

That crow eating the eyes on the video is a nice touch, don’tchathink?

Comment by tlp

“Hello, God? Yeah, I know, I know, I haven’t been talkin’ with you much lately. But, y’see, I’ve been looking up this Joel guy, and, um, I didn’t think there was anything I could say to you without it being snarked around. So go easy on the guilt stuff, willya?

Anyway. I wanted to tell you I was grateful. For Hallmark. Yeah. You heard that right. Hallmark. The sappy card people. No, I didn’t think I’d ever hear myself say that either. But you should see some of the other bloo … er, strange stuff they got going … Oh. You knew already. Silly me. What was that? Seventy times seven times? Right. Gotcha. But couldn’t you spare even one little lightning bolt for that adult swim outfit? I mean, look what they did in Boston… OK! I’ll leave that to you! Ow!

πŸ˜‰

Comment by oceallaigh

Never seen that movie I’m afraid but I hear that growing up in Spain can do that to a bohemian! πŸ™‚

As for the video… dios mio! Believe it or not, that was waaaaay too gory for me (yeah, I’m a total wuss FO SHO!) and I had to stop watching once the bird had at the dead body… ugh!

So though belated, I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and/or Holiday and hopefully many are still living it up!

Boxing day… true… in England too… in SF it means you go out with your Jewish New Yorker best friends for Indian food, then to play in the park, then we all complained how cold it got so fast (though this “cold” would be a warm winter’s day for New Yorkers in New York I am told) and off we all darted home so no boxing was to be had I am afraid… does opening presents that came in boxes count? Our dear friends are fellow hippie dippy bohemians so we exchange gifts in celebration of the Winter Solstice you see and some boxes are involved! πŸ™‚ It’s a stretch, I know… *le sigh*

Oy… Bohemian sounding very lame so off I go to tend to the kiddos!

Besos and with that,

BoheMia OUT!

Comment by Miz BoheMia

Love Adult Swim, it’s sooo funny! Hey Snuppy ask yer boy if he has seen the video game reviews by “Zero Punctuation” on escapistmagazine.com. They are freaking hilarious! You will find them chuckle-worthy as well I’m sure. I posted a milder one on my blog.

Comment by claire

I’m guessing my card is still in that stack on your counter huh? I’ll quit checking the mailbox then.

Comment by Jeff

um – I don’t know anything about that crow…
Nice South-Parkish Christmas card yes?

Comment by Terry




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