No, it’s not an interview with Liza Minelli.
I am back in Iceland and totally forgot it was Wednesday yesterday and as such my time to post something. Not to worry, I know the Google button like the back of my hand…whoops, where did this scar come from?
Since it seems to be the popular thing this year to defy any resolution making, I resolved to make a list of 20.
But why leave it at that? Here for your convenience is the top 12 list of what our beloved pets might try to aspire to (had they a concept of time and silly notions!)
The Top 12 New Year’s Resolutions Made by Pets*
12. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.
11. Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.
10. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
9. Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows.
8. Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us when no one is around.
7. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
6. Hamster: Don’t let them figure out I’m just a rat on ‘roids, or they’ll flush my ass.
5. Always scoot before licking.
4. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.
3. Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.
2. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd – December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.
1. I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.
See, resolutions are alright, they only need to be realistic. For all those furry playmates out there I would just like to tell you this: Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight your lovely tail and remember the bathtub is not a convenient place to store live mice for late-night snacks!
13. Paws (heh) for a moment to read Humor-dogs.com.
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