Central Snark

Let’s get a bit morbid for a second… by Snuppy
Wednesday, 9 January 2008, 8:19am
Filed under: funny..., lists, Teh Penguin

and realize there can be humor even at the very end. A friend send me an e-mail with tombstone pictures. Yes I know, I need new friends. But this one was….with respect to everyone dwelling in such bone-polishing places… rather funny.


“Here lies my Wife / in Earthy Mold / Who when she Died / and naught but Scold / Good Friends go softly / in your walking / Lest she should Wake / and Rise up Talking”

Ladies, let this be a warning to you. Instruct someone else, besides your hubby, to take care of your gravestone before you move on!

There are some really good epitaphs out there and here are my favorite three (that I know of):

1. Mel Blanc: “That’s all folks!”

A great voice actor, Mel Blanc’s characters included Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig, Yosemite Sam and Sylvester the Cat. He died of heart disease and emphysema in 1989 and his epitaph might be one of his best-known lines.

2. Spike Milligan: “Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite.”

A Gaelic epitaph belonging to an Irish comedian. It translates as “I told you I was ill.” Milligan died of liver failure in 2002. He was famous for his sense of humor which can easily be seen in films such as Monty Python’s Life of Brian.

3. Joan Hackett: “Go away — I’m asleep.”

An actress in teh 1960s and 70s (The Twilight Zone and Bonanza), died in 1983 of ovarian cancer at age 49.

Joan Hackett quoted a sign hung on her dressing room door.
Joan Hackett’s epitaph quoted a sign
hung on her dressing room door.

and one that gave me a laughter belly ache:

John Yeast: “Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising.”

I can’t find anything about him or his death, not even his profession … but how funny would it be if he would have been a baker?

~Penguin out!

Don’t forget to play with the Un-dead over at homor-blogs!

23 Comments so far
Leave a comment


one of my all time favorite epitaphs is the following (an Old West Epitaph, if ever there was one):

Here lies Lester Moore.
Four slugs
From a forty-four.
No Les
No More.

that said, Johnny Yeast’s runs a close second, followed by Joan Hackett’s (i remember her from The Twilight Zone — i had no idea she was so funny)

brilliant post, little Penguin! oh, and while i’m at it, CONGRATS on making it to the next academic round! i never doubted you for a second! 🙂

Comment by snuppy

The old saying goes,” He who laughs last, laughs best.” So if we laugh at the dead we’re guaranteed a good one. Right???

To quote Weird Al,” I’ll be mellow when I’m dead.”

Comment by I Dive At Night

Johnny Yeast’s is funny.

They said to put affairs in order,
Before I crossed the holy border
If, I’d listened I’d be saved
From malicious humor, above engraved
For here, below, I hear their laughter,
And am haunted by my benefactor.

Comment by Walela

snuppy, yeah I saw that one, too. Not a fan of slugs though, snails in gralic butter, however, are delicious 🙂

Morgan, I think we are more bony when we are dead…rather than mellow. I am trying to think what I would like my epitaph to read 🙂

Walela, my point exactly. Is this your final request? Should I get my notebook out…it’s gonna take a bigger gravestone than I’d planned for you…

Comment by Penguin

Those are all great!

Comment by actonbell

Penguin — SO cracking up at your comment! because by “slugs” they mean, of course, bullets. (that thar is how they spoke back in the Old West). 😉

Comment by snuppy

or were you just havin’ fun with me? d’oh! 🙄

Comment by snuppy

actonbell, I put them up for inspirations 🙂

snuppy, I was having a laugh 🙂

Comment by Penguin

Very funny post. Grave yards can be such fun.

Comment by Nessa

snuppy – SO cracking up by how you got burned by Penguin’s joke. That Penguin – she’s a clever one!

Comment by Jeff

Jeff: are you mocking me? i’m crushed. 🙄

Penguin: i figured as much — i think that particular epitaph, by the way, appears in the “graveyard” outside the Disney’s Haunted Mansion. but is still based on a real headstone located in the Boothill Graveyard in Tombstone, Arizona. 😉

Comment by snuppy

I think I’m going to go with “Don’t make me come up there!”

Homor-blogs? Really?

Comment by Diesel

Nessa, I am beginning to get that feeling. Still am not inclines to visit one around midnight though 🙂

jeff, well thank you. I do have my moments.

snuppy, I did not know that although I have been in Disney’s haunted Mansion. Scared the living daylights outta me!

Comment by Penguin

Diesel…it wouldn’t be the same without me poking fun at it, now would it!? The link works though, and I think that’s an improvement to be thankful for, don’t you?!

Comment by Penguin

Here lies Willie Dye.
He did.

Comment by QuillDancer

Haha, those are good. You’ve got to love the Irish humor – I know I do (that may be a genetic predisposition 🙂

Comment by Lampsha

Oh that’s just too funny! Love it.

Comment by Jason

Quilly, that’s morbid. Like it!

Lampsha, I loved that one too…having listed it as number two. “I told you I was ill!” brilliant!

Jason, glad it tickled your funny bone!

Comment by Penguin

I don’t want to be buried; I’d rather be burned. That way I don’t have to think up a clever tombstone saying.

Comment by tlp

Hilarious! Morbid, but funny. Here’s another:

Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.

Comment by Theresa

TLP; saving space?

Theresa, that one’s a puzzler

Comment by Penguin

Wow, have you seen Merv Griffin’s?

Comment by StephanieC

Snuppy – I think Minka is gaining on your punniness.

Comment by Terry

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