Central Snark


Some Like it Hot by Harmonica Man
Monday, 21 January 2008, 9:07am
Filed under: Cloudman, funny...

hotmoms.jpg

Here’s the deal… my 15 year-old son figured this would be a GREAT gift to buy me for Christmas – which of course it was (God I love that kid).

But low and behold there were other opinions in the household.

Apparently my wife didn’t want me wearing this shirt. Something about “embarrassing the hell out of her” or “not respecting her” or some other irrational blather – I really wasn’t listening. Nonetheless, I love my wife (who is a hot mom btw) and so I obliged her and took the shirt off the instant we got home from church that Christmas morning.

This led me back to Target to return my gift, where I had this stimulating conversation with the customer service woman:

“Excuse me, but I need to return this tee shirt.”

“Is there anything wrong with it sir?”

“No. It doesn’t fit… my wife’s idea of what a 46 year old husband should be wearing.”

“She’s right.”

D’oh! The other thrill of returning this was that if you’ve ever received a gift from a teenager, you know that they don’t tend to keep important things. Like receipts for instance. They also don’t have checks or credit cards and therefore always pay for things with cash. And so the opinionated customer service woman was less than interested in taking back my rejected shirt.

But… after begging her to let me do a direct exchange for a different shirt in front of the other 25 people waiting in the post-Christmas return line behind me – she finally had degraded me enough where apparently she felt I was worthy of the exchange.

And so eventually I did end up with another, less controversial tee shirt – but not nearly as cool as the Hot Moms one. This got me thinking about designing some new tee shirts that could possibly fill this void for other husbands out there who end up in this same leaky boat. For example, would this be more appropriate?

hotmarms.jpg

I don’t know, I always thought pioneer school teachers were kind of sexy.

Or how about this one?

hotmimes.jpg

No, wait – I hate mimes. UNLESS….

hotmimesfire.jpg

Ahh, MUCH better!

Then of course there’s this version for the obsessed blogger…

hotmemes.jpg

Eh. But still none of those were floating my wife’s boat. Until I suggested this one…

hotmums.jpg

… and gee, whatta ya know – THIS one got the thumbs up.

But I don’t think I’m going to wear it however…

I’d hate to look like a pansy.

~ Jeff

All the hot moms hang out at Humor-Blogs.com!

(p.s. Just for fun I put the last 3 shirts up for sale at cafepress.com/formatcdrive )

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23 Comments so far
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needless to say, Jeff, i howled when i read this post! i mean every post you’ve done to date has been fantastic, but this one has a certain — oh i don’t know, how do you say it — je ne sais quoi? heh. far as i can tell, the ONLY one you’ve missed is “I heart MERMS”, something you might have based on THIS SEX, ED? POST (from September). that said, i’m not sure what image you might have used, to the point may be moot.

that said, i MUST have a “hot mime” shirt, and will be off to purchase one as soon as i return from schlepping my son to physical therapy this morning! 😉

PS: would you look like a pansy in that last shirt? doubtful. a sissy-boy, perhaps, but a pansy? never!

Comment by snuppy

Funny stuff, Jeff.

Comment by crummyjoel

I would let my hubby wear the original shirt but only if it said “I Love a Hot Mom”. He can’t love more than one. I think the best part is that your son bought the shirt!

Comment by Sexy Housewife

snuppy – A MERMS shirt would be funny – at least for us. You would definitely get some confused looks if you wore it in the mall!

My kid has a free Cafepress account so he was actually the one who put these ones out there – more as a joke than anything. I don’t really know much about them (options or quality etc) but you (or anyone else) are certainly welcome to buy one if you’re interested.

cummyjoel – Thanks. My wife thinks it’s funny too. Now.

Sexy Housewife – I bet that original shirt is a big seller in Utah though.

Comment by Harmonica Man

too funny. I’m sure to see this at Tarjay by summer – the Mime that is. Hey, you may be able to get the Mum off the ground (ha, a pun) at a garden club or something.

Comment by deborah

Very funny. I guess white out on the “s” would not have been good enough, huh?

Comment by Nessa

Right Nessa, or a crossed out “s” to be replaced with an “a”.

Although, I am with your wife on this one, including liking the “hot mums” one. It’s cute which may not be what you were aiming for – but funny, all at the same time.

Now this hot mom (hey my daughter said my hair was cool this very am), is off to yet another Doctor Fakakta appointment.

Sorry about your Packers last night. But I am happy that I can at least renew a passing interest for the Super Bowl now. Being a New Yorker and all.

Comment by LAMPSHA

deborah – The problem with the mums shirt is that most women wouldn’t wear a tee shirt that is a pun about loving hot moms. Not that there would be anything wrong with that!

nessa – Or I could add an “s” to hot so it says I LOVE SHOT MOMS. Except for the fact that doesn’t make any sense.

lampsha – Hold on there, I’m from MN… they aren’t my Packers in any way. I was actually thrilled to see the Giants win. I can’t wait for the big game!

Comment by Harmonica Man

The original shirt is creepy. Are there serial hot mom lovers lurking about? I would totally buy the burning mime shirt.

Comment by mom thumb

…and new business is born. Excellent post!

Comment by BoBo

Bless that boy, he could have come up with So Many more inappropriate t-shirts.

Comment by claire

Too funny. Good luck with the shirt sales! 🙂

Comment by StephanieC

LOL @ the hot mimes…ahaha..maybe a tshirt that says I’m married to a hot mom.

Comment by DrowseyMonkey

Classic! I think I like the mime on fire one the best.

Comment by Andi

Oh thank goodness you burned the mime in the one. I was worried…I mean, what next? Clowns?

Comment by juliepippert

Oops, we non-sport fans always make such faux pas. In that case – let’s go GIANTS!!!

Comment by LAMPSHA

My wife actually encourages me to wear mine. It does get me some looks though (no numbers unfortunately).

Comment by whit

Lmao@ the “hot marms” shirt. Those shirts would sell. Period.

Comment by politicallyblonde

Hot mimes.

This is why I love you.

Comment by Jenny

mom thumb – Yes, there are hot mom lovers lurking around out there. But I’m very discreet.

BoBo – You mean monkey business?

claire – Well I’m not so sure. This was only as risqué as Target gets.

stephanie – Thanks, but I doubt anyone would buy one of these. I only included the link because my son thought it would be funny to make them available. I don’t even think he marked them up.

drowsey – Or one for the women that says, “My husband is a totally hot stud!” What, am I pushing my luck here?

andi – Who doesn’t like a mime on fire?

julie – Yes! Yes! Burning clowns. Perfect!

lil G – No problem. People often lump us together with Wisconsin because they rub up against us – which is a problem because number one: that’s inappropriate, and number two: it causes chaffing.

whit – I think maybe it’s FORTUNATE you’re not getting any numbers. They’re kind of hard to explain.

politically blonde – Thanks. I thought that one was funny too, even though it was a stretch.

jenny – Mmm-wha! That’s me giving you a big ol kiss. 🙂

Comment by Harmonica Man

I just remembered what triggered the faux pas – the strong resemblance between you and Howie Long in furry hats!

Comment by Lampsha

lil G – That’s so funny you caught that. When I saw Howie on Sunday I actually blurted out “Hey – he’s got my hat!” I couldn’t have been prouder.

Comment by Harmonica Man

Your fur hat could have inspired Howie to wear one at the Packer game. When I was young, my mother made me some long black mittens made of an old bearskin rug. Would you believe, we had parents calling to buy a pair.-Bill

Comment by Bill




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