Central Snark


How to be a muppet! by Snuppy
Thursday, 24 January 2008, 6:27am
Filed under: funny...

Remember the brilliant –hush!- post I did a few weeks back about weird epitaphs? NO? I guess you should check in more frequently, now shouldn’t you?! Some people clearly are very witty with words they leave behind and others have a sh** load of money, so again they rely on words … this time a will.
Some of those wills are rather insane eccentric.

Don’t touch me!

Marie Curie

A pioneer in the early field of radioactivity, she later became the only person to win Nobel Prizes in two different fields of science — physics and chemistry. As if there’s any difference. Element 96, Curium (Cm), was named in honor of Marie and her husband, Pierre. She died in 1934, and her only property of substantial worth was a gram of pure radium which she left to her daughter. You just never really know what to say when people give you chemical elements, do you?!

Houdini

Harry Houdini (born in 1874) a great magician and escape artist died in 1926 from a ruptured appendix. He’d accumulated quite a heap, but most importantly: the rabbits he pulled out of his hat went to the children of friends. His wife, however, received a secret code: ten words chosen at random. These he would use to contact her from the afterlife. His wife held annual séances on Halloween for ten years after his death, but Houdini never showed. People say where there’s a will there’s a way…I guess he’s still looking!

William Randolph Hearst

This multimillionaire newspaper magnate died in 1951. In his will he challenged those who claimed he had children out of wedlock by willing anyone who could prove “that he or she is a child of mine . . . the sum of one dollar. I hereby declare that any such asserted claim . . . would be utterly false.” No one claimed it.

John Bowman

This Vermont tanner believed that after his death, he, his dead wife and their two daughters would be reincarnated together. His will (1891) provided a $50,000 trust fund for the maintenance of his 21-room mansion and mausoleum. Servants were required to serve dinner every night just in case the reincarnated Bowmans were hungry when they returned from the dead. This stipulation was actually carried out until 1950, when the trust money ran out. Maybe they came back as dung beetles and couldn’t work the cutlery!

There are many more of course: Janis Joplin set aside $2,500 to pay for a posthumous all-night party for 200 guests at her favorite pub in San Anselmo, California. Eleanor E. Ritchey, heiress to the Quaker State Refining Corporation, passed on her millions to her 150 dogs when she died.

I can’t help but wonder who’ll be at the receiving end of my lava rock collection. Let’s see…who do I hate!?

~Penguin out!

Silly ideas are born over HERE! every single day!

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14 Comments so far
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I’m leaving my collection of used Popsicle sticks to my old kindergarten school.

Comment by nessa

We went to visit the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose a few months ago. It was built by the widow of the Winchester rifle guy. Huge freaking house, with a maze of pointless rooms, stairs to nowhere, hidden passages…. I guess she thought she would die if she ever stopped building or something. Crazy people and their money.

Comment by Diesel

nessa, that is a contribution that will be valued a lot.

Diesel, aren’t people just odd? I guess the widow believed in reincarnation as well and wanted to make sure if he did come back, he’d have to find her first 🙂

Comment by Penguin

I do bequeath my sense of humor to the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America and. My misogyny to the Mormons.

Comment by doug

I’m going to put it in my will to have my head frozen. And then when they can cure frozen dead people (and reattach their heads?), I’m going to Disney World with Walt himself and have a big party.

Comment by Harmonica Man

By the way, is anyone going to bequeath us an explanation of the title?

Comment by Walela

Well this brings fresh worries – whom to bequeth my SaturdaySpin collection to…

Comment by LAMPSHA

I’m going to request that gravity be suspended for one day a year when I die…

Comment by VE

Doug, thank goodness you haven’t much of either.

Jeff, and I thought the people in my post were odd…you just raised the bar! Scary that!

Walela, it might be British…we (and by we I mean myself!) like to say to someone that is behaving stupidly, silly and/ or obnoxiously “What a muppet!”

Lampsha, I think you have very gifted musicians in yoru family…although if you are taking applications there is a rather beautiful Roy Black song I wouldn’t mind sharing with the crowd!

VE, as a woman and with gravity taken its toll on everything that used to point up, I would support that request in a NY minute!

Comment by Penguin

heh… i am SO sorry i’m late. thinking i may have to bequeath my calendar to Ripley’s, for it’s been pretty unbelievable these days.

i think i’m familiar with all the “last requests” you cited except for Bowman’s. oh, and like Diesel, i, too, have visited — and been shocked and amazed — by the house that Winchester’s widow built. so soo sooooooooooo weird! apparently it didn’t work, because, last i’d heard, she did her last “renovation” back in 1922. 😉

Comment by snuppy

Since Irene Curie won the Nobel Prize in chemistry, maybe she did know what to do with a gram of radium.

Comment by weirsdo

I recently visited that crazy Winchester Mystery house too! Alternately weird and beautiful in its own way. I took a bunch of photos, maybe I should post…

Comment by claire

Lava rocks? You’re going to have to do a post on that sometime. The gravity idea sounds brilliant! I second, um I mean I third that (since you already seconded it). I don’t have any lava rocks, so I guess I’ll just have to worry about who I leave my blog to. 😉

Comment by Theresa

Snuppy, I was wondering where you were wandering about, but more than excited to see you back…for a nano second I was worried.

weirsdo, very much so. She and her husband are credited with the discovery of artificial radioactivity. A set of new elements with atomic numbers over 92 have been artificially made since 1940. They are called the transuranium elements and allowed for spontaneously reactions to be observed.

Claire, I’d love to see those pictures.

Theresa, living in spain you could start collecting …what are Spanish people famous for?

Comment by Penguin




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