We’ve never owned a dog but I understand they’re very expensive, what with the licensing, shots, grooming, food and accessories and all – not to mention the initial cost of the dog itself. In addition, many people easily pay $500-$2500 or more to own a “purebred” pedigree of one kind or another.
So when my daughter asked for a $29 guinea pig two Christmases ago I was thrilled. “This is the perfect gift!” I thought. “Except for a small amount of food, guinea pigs don’t have ANY of those expenses!”
So, my wife and I headed over to the pet store to pick up her pig. Oh yeah, and a few other items:
- habitat cage – $120
- bedding – $15
- bag of hay – $15
- food – $20
- vitamins $10
- pigloo – $15
Ok, suddenly this $30 rat was costing us $224.
All right, no problem. After all, this was the only thing she actually asked for for Christmas – and with the exception of a little bit of food, these will all be one-time costs.
And so that Christmas morning a pig was born – and the children rejoiced. “Yay!”
Until my son chimed in… “Did you know that guinea pigs are supposed to be kept in pairs? So they don’t feel lonely?
“Uh, no way bud,” I retorted “this house ain’t big enough for a herd of pigs.”
And so the next day another pig was born – and the children rejoiced once again. “Yay!”
It took less than a month until the first bag of bedding was gone. And the first bag of food and hay as well.
“Dad, we need some money to go get some things for the pigs.”
“Sure,” I said as I peeled $5 from my wallet.
“Yeah right. We need like $50. At least.”
And this is how it’s been ever since. About once a month we shell out $50 for supplies and
everyone is the children are happy.
Except for a few weeks ago when one of the pig’s pee started to look dark. It played out like this:
- Initial vet visit: $35
- Prescription for UTI: $35
- Follow up visit because it didn’t appear she was getting better so they needed to see her all day and do blood and urine analysis: $150
- Refill for prescription: $35
Total cost of dark pee: $255
So then… let’s add this up after 13 months, shall we?
- Initial purchase costs: $224
- Supplies since initial purchase: $600
- Vet and medicines: $255
Total cost since purchase: $1,079
Ya, there’s a comma in that number folks!
Of course just when I think we’ve made a serious mistake, I take one look at these little furballs and change my mind.
Now if I could just train them to fetch me my slippers.
The laughs are cheap at humor-blogs.com
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