Central Snark


In the beginning… by Harmonica Man
Monday, 28 January 2008, 9:17am
Filed under: Cloudman, funny..., music music

jeff19.jpgI knew I was going to be a singer from the time I was about 4 years old.

My sister, who is 10 years older than me, used to play her Beatles and Herman’s Hermits records on her phonograph in her bedroom, and I’d sit on the floor outside her door and sing along at the top of my lungs… that is until she yelled at me to “shut up and go in the other room!”

Then, when the Monkees came on TV it sealed the deal. To me there was nobody cooler than Davy Jones or Micky Dolenz and I was going to be just like them.

Just seeing these guys up in front of the microphones was all I needed. More than anything in the world I wanted to someday be that cool. And this is why:

Now be honest women… how many of you are suddenly crushing on him like you were 12 again? Hey – I don’t blame you. He makes me feel kinda funny too. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

monkees.jpg The Monkees (1966-1967) were one of only two shows that I can think of that featured segments of bands playing their music within the plot of a standard storyline – not counting variety shows.

In those days if you weren’t planted in front of the TV set when it was show time, you flat out missed it. There were no VCRs to capture the moment if you weren’t home – although we were guilty of tape recording the entire show on audio cassette and playing it back 100 times over the following week, so that was better than nothing.

partridge1.jpg

The other show that featured a band playing their song of the week was the 2nd major influence of my musical youth. The Partridge Family (1970-1974) came along right at the start of my teen years when the thought of becoming a rock star sex symbol started to appeal to me for the first time.

And as far as I was concerned, there was no one hipper or sexier than David Cassidy himself. Take a look for yourself:

Hmm, I’m thinking maybe David might have been confusing waking up “in love” with waking up with morning wood, but hey – as long as he was happy about it did it really matter?

And so there they are… the two TV shows that most influenced me to eventually become a musician, travel around the world, meet my wife, have kids, start a blog, and get picked up by Snuppy as a fellow Snarkster to tell my story here.

I must say it’s been quite a ride, but I’d like to thank my good friends Davy and David for showing me the way.

~ Jeff

I’m singing the praises of Humor-Blogs.com!

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Spinnin’ with the BoBo by Snuppy
Saturday, 24 November 2007, 10:03am
Filed under: music music

RCA doog, NipperWE thought it might be nice to give our beloved DJ LAMPSHA another week off from doing one of her Legendary Saturday Spins, if only to have an extra moment or two to herself, in order to recover from a difficult couple of weeks. Ah, but what to do in her stead? Indeed, that was the question. Thank goodness we knew the answer, which came to us in the form of a certain someone with a true gift for scoping out great new artists (he may not be in the same league as Lampsha, but trust us, this person’s ear is still better than most). And so, without further adieu, we are pleased to provide a Bit o’ Saturday Spinnin’, courtesy of THE BOBO:

****         *****         ****

Happy Saturday one and all. It is truly an honor to, once again, be sub-spinning for the one, the only DJ Lampsha. This week’s spin features a couple of indie music acts that are not yet household names. They are just two of the many “new” faces of music that have taken full advantage of the internet, specifically sites like MySpace, to get their music to the public without the benefit of a major record label.

The first group hails from Boston, Mass and combines funk, rock, hip-hop, jazz, and R&B – yep, they’ve covered just about all the bases – to create a very original sound not easily categorized. They’re called Eclectic Collective and the video below comes to us courtesy ThePalestra.com and features a song called “Ocean of Tears“, filmed in front of the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio. To see the video, just click on the pic.

Eclectic Collective

I would encourage you to venture on over to their MySpace page and check out the song “Beautiful Mess,” my personal fav.

Today’s second act is living proof that all that comes out of Nashville is not by way of the Grand Ole Opry. These guys call themselves AutoVaughn, and their music has been described by some as a cross between Tears For Fears and The Killers. The video is, once again, courtesy of ThePalestra.com and features a song called “Rock Your Body“. Don’t be thrown by the short intro that includes a scruffy looking lad on what appears to be a hotel or apartment balcony. Ladies and gentlemen… AutoVaughn (again, just click on the pic below).

AutoVaughn

If you’re so inclined, venture over to the band’s MySpace page for more of their music and an entertaining video of what life on the road is like for a group of young musicians trying to make it the hard way. It’s proof positive that the life of a budding rock star is less about glamor & groupies… and more about driving a van and late nights at McDonalds.

Enjoy! Have a great weekend. ~BoBo

Listen to the music of laughter on Humor-blogs.com.



With a Little Help… by Snuppy
Monday, 29 October 2007, 10:23am
Filed under: funny..., music music

from my friends. 

Well, it’s lonely here without Snuppy.  Can’t deny it.  Can’t say that I’m having these posts rolling out like an assembly line.  Can’t say that I wasn’t up until about 1:00 am putting the finishing touches on an Africa project  for my daughter.  Oh, go ahead – judge me.  How will the child learn anything?  How will she be accountable?  What will she learn from that?  She’ll learn that she would have gotten a better grade on her own and maybe she’ll learn to pace herself and plan out her project a little better timewise.  That’s what she’ll learn.   Screw that.  She’s my daughter.  It’s genetic and hopefully we can help her avoid the ways of the procrastinator.  

So, I’m a bit cranky.  There’s no post.  And, and the video that I saved in here disappeared and my office has done something with our mail systems over the weekend so that I can’t seem to open two windows at once and can’t save the video in here.   Okay, never mind that last part, but I left it in for the purpose of sharing my anxiety.  A little free floating anxiety for a Monday never hurt anybody.

On to the video.  I’ll work in a musical opposites/cheap laugh (MOCL) if it’s the last thing I do today (and judging by my mood, it just may be).  Our wonderfully talented and charming DJ LAMPSHA – oh, heh heh, that’s me (deep blush), I was just following Snuppy’s MOCL post template.  Well I featured The Hold Steady in this weekend’s Spin.  I really like them.  But I would be politically correct and that would just be bad, if I didn’t point out the lead singer, Craig Finn’s, how shall I say?  Exuberance! Yes, exuberance behind the mike.  His twisting and straining reminded me of a certain singer who on his own (and I do love him) is almost a parody, but then add John Belushi in…well, take a look.

Some of you may be too young to remember this airing originally – screw you too on a Monday.  Some of you, may be in league with me – put on your reading glasses and turn up the tunes: 

Head on over to Humor-blogs.com, where Parody means never having to say I’m sorry.  Or something. 



CRAP! by Snuppy
Monday, 22 October 2007, 10:42am
Filed under: music music

Or, was I supposed to nail down who was posting today?  Was it me?  Oy vey, whatever you do, please don’t let Snuppy know that it took me absolutely no time at all to let  Central Snark slide right off the Humor-blogs.com map.  Oh sure, people will say, “Remember that blog?  Kind of scary yet intriguing header?  Wacky woman posting, sort of reminded you of your crazy Aunt Bea?  Pretty funny?”  Yeah, uh – don’t remember it.  And faster than Snuppy could say, “oh look – something shiny!” The Snark will have slid out of everyone’s hearts and memories. 

The demise will be traced back to this exact moment when people came a calling for a little light hearted Monday humor or Snuppy’s not-yet-copyrighted Musical Opposites Cheap Laughs (MOCL) posts and EEEK – Saturday Spin?  It’s freaking Monday!  So we won’t get into who exactly was lining up blog posts and who exactly let the ball go rolling onto an eight lane highway only to be splattered by an oncoming eighteen wheeler.  We won’t. 

Instead, we’ll just sing along with The Boomtown Rats because it was musical and it was in Snuppy’s archives which read “In case of emergency, break glass”.  So I did.  Not that the Boomtown Rats qualify as a cheap laugh, but I’m hoping someone can come up with a good joke in the comments to get me off the hook here.

Now then, I am at my office where I get paid to actually work.  More than this I couldn’t come up with on such short notice to myself.  Hey give me a break, didn’t you see my new family member whom I had to leave this morning?  This cursed working for a living existence!

Screw this, head on over to Humor-blogs.com where the highways are all traffic-free!



S’Trumpet by Snuppy
Monday, 15 October 2007, 8:42am
Filed under: funny..., music music | Tags:

a girl and her instrumentGOLLY but it’s wonderful to have children. To watch them grow into tall adultish people, independent, yet not. To sit up late at night worrying whether or not they’ll make it home from their first date. Whether they’ll have that “first” date in the first place. And, of course, whether they’ll make it home without calling to tell you that, thanks to a speeding cab driver, they’ve taken a detour through the ER at St. Luke’s in Manhattan. Ah, parenting… there’s nothing like it. That’s not to say it isn’t without a few ups and/or downs, but once in a while, a son and/or daughter will do something that makes a parent not just proud, but ebullient. We’ve certainly been privy to a few of those occasions — heck, even after our son landed in that hospital, we’ve had our moments — watching him bitch out the nurse for allowing him to sit in his own spilt urine, for one, holding our breath whilst he took his first few tentative steps with a walker, for another.

WE’RE guessing the young lady featured in the following video gave her parents many MANY opportunities to glow with pride and/or cheer, as well. Naturally, we can only assume her beauty pageant horn-buglery wasn’t one of ’em. Still, we’re grateful to Mr. & Mrs. Beauty Pageant Contestant’s Parents for providing their little girl with trumpet playing lessons in the first place, because if the following clip of her chilling “performance” ain’t the perfect “Musical Opposite for the Sake of Cheap Laughs” ying to DJ LAMPSHA’S awesome Dropkick Murphys yang, we don’t know what is. Uh, and speaking of grateful and/or embarrassed parents, we’d be remiss if we failed to point out that, once again, our older NOT-recuperating-from-a-terrible-accident son was the one who saw fit to share Miss Douglas County’s riveting “talent act” with us, so that WE might be able to share it with YOU. In other words, address your praise, complaints, and/or shitty comments to “Matt”. Athenkyew.

NOTE: As you’re about to see, our post title is MORE than a little appropriate. That said, we initially considered calling it “Blare Wars” or “Blow Wars”. Apparently it occurred to us (for a nano-second) that one or the other was a potentially “clever parody title”, especially appropriate because we believe the following number should qualify as the “theme song” for future “parody posts” by Kalfu’ur & Grundir (assuming there are any). Also, is it just us, or wouldn’t “Kalfu’ur and Grundir” make for a perfectly hilarious “parody TV show and/or movie”? (based on our inability to come up with a clever title and/or concept for TV and/or film, it should be clear by now that this girl’s musical ability is not the only thing around here that blows.)

YES, that was choreography. And, yes, it did suck more than a 2-bit Wookie whore on a 4-bit date with an invisible Nazgûl.

~snuppy

Blow it out your, um, laughs, at Humor-blogs.com.



Bruce v. Billy by Snuppy
Monday, 1 October 2007, 7:56am
Filed under: funny..., music music | Tags: ,

music musicApologies to all who hate it when we resort to The YouTube for blog fodder. As you’re about to see, however, sharing not one, but two videos is a necessary evil, in order to “properly” convey our point and/or cleverness in selecting today’s Musical Opposite for the Sake of Very Cheap Laughs. (yes, we added in the “very” because today we can’t help having a little fun at the expense of a performer who’s music is really quite wonderful, but who, apparently, was unable to get out of his own way in order to sustain a career…) Besides, considering the fact that our dearest NBFF shared two over the weekend, it wouldn’t have made sense not to.

NOW, speaking of the delightful DJ LAMPSHA, it goes without saying we adored her spin over the weekend. New tunes by THE BOSS and/or MRS. THE BOSS? Sweeet. That said, we couldn’t help laughing, when it occurred to us that Bruce Springsteen came thisclose to messing up his career back in ’84, when he allowed some producer to persuade hime to spice up his music with a little “choreography”. Fortunately, the song was good (1st Best Rock Vocal Performance Grammy good), and, let’s face it, Courtney Cox was completely adorable, which certainly helped ease the pain of watching Mr. Robosso move stiffly across that stage.

TOO bad rocker BILLY SQUIER wasn’t as lucky in the “don’t judge the moves, judge the song” category. The following is another music video that came out in 1984, which literally destroyed Squier’s blossoming career back then (even he says so). Poor Billy, considering this clip is currently one of YouTube’s most popular, doesn’t look like he’ll get to live down any of those horrifying moves anytime soon. We suspect his first mistake was agreeing to make the thing in the first place. Then going with those ‘clothes’. seriously — and speaking of not using an attractive young woman with and Unfortunate Last Name — was that a codpiece in Mr. Squier’s trousers, or was he just happy to be rocking alone face down on the floor and/or up against his guitar that “nite”? You tell us. Wait, we just watched it again, and, um, no. Matter of fact, Billy’s dancing isn’t the only thing that looks a bit… girlie — if you catch our drift (and we’re guessing you will).

UH, was that second ripped up t-shirt he put on… pink? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, mind you, but still… it’s not all that difficult to see how some fans might have misunderstood Billy’s sexual orientation. For the record, he’s not gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but, in the 80’s, that attire and those moves convinced record buyers otherwise. Goodbye sexy career, hello obscurity.

rabbit heraldLEST we forget, today’s also the first of October, which means, of course, we must — and want to wish one and/or all rabbit, rabbit, in hops of sustaining another month of good fortune and happiness. So, um, y’know… Rabbit, Rabbit.

(FYI: we stumbled over that “bunny” picture in a Google meadowland, and were so impressed with the whimsical nature of this artist’s work we thought we’d link to her website, in case anyone cared to see more)

ONE more thing before we allow you to go gently into your week — the lovely and somewhat-verbose-but-so-what-we-love-love-love-her-because-she’s-spunky-‘n- -oh-so-hilarious-and-did-we-mention-lovely? CATTY YUMMY MUMMY has a new post up (complete with videos) that’s well worth perusing. For those of you who’ve yet to “meet” our dear beautiful friend (and Snark Co-Administrator, we hasten to add), you’re in for a treat. She’s been out of the bloggy loop of late, what with her momentous move from Spain back to her beloved San Francisco, and all, and it’d be nice to think she could be “coaxed” back into a more regular posting schedule. With encouragement, we have no doubt that will happen. Trust us Miz BoheMia’s posts are better than any reality show you’ve ever seen. She is, in a word, awesome.

~snuppy

NOTE: we find ourselves compelled (what with a certain 6’2″ man-child standing behind us, threatening to pour a Banzai Blueberry Smoothie over our heads) to extend a word of “gratitude” to our oldest (yet woefully-tho’-charmingly immature) son. A loving and thoughtful son, we hasten to add, who saw fit to share today’s “MOCL”with us, in hopes we might, in turn, share it with you. Just our little way of saying “thanks son” and/or letting anyone who was not entertained by Squier’s video, know who, exactly, is to blame.

Folks wearing torn t-shirts ‘n cheesy headbands are dancin’ to the beat of laughter on Humor-blogs.com.



Cannibals by Snuppy
Monday, 24 September 2007, 9:01am
Filed under: funny..., music music | Tags:

WE know we shouldn’t, but we can’t help laughing at the word “cannibals” — which, in our current crazed state of mind makes us think of “can of balls”. Tennis anyone? (oh, if only those were the kind of “balls” we’re imagining inside that can…)

native girl?HEY kids! Once again it’s Monday, and you know what that means. That’s right, it means we’re again faced with the difficult task of trying to conjure up an appropriate “musical opposite” to another of our dear DJ LAMPSHA’S amazing Saturday spins. Fortunately, we’re delirious to report, we’ve exceeded our wildest expectations. Or are we simply so delirious we only think the following song qualifies as something deserving of cheesy laughs? No doubt you’ll let us know which is what, and/or vice versa, soon enough. (try not to think about that last sentence, it’ll only make your head hurt)

NOW, as we said, whether your own expectations (wild and/or otherwise) will be met remains to be seen, but, as you all know by now, that’s entirely beside the point. The point, which may have been used after sundown this past Saturday, in order to skewer a nice chicken for our exceedingly hungry NBFF, is that the following cheesy 80’s video is, in our deliriously humble opinion, just about as “opposite” as one can get to the exotically soothing tunes of Pharoah’s Daughter on the heels of a high Jewish holiday involving, among other things, a 25 hour fast. Cheap laughs are what we’re after, folks, and cheap laughs are what we intend to get. Even if the only laughter we hear today is our own. HAHAHAHAHA. (here we go again, cracking ourselves up in ways only explainable to our shrink)

WE wish we knew more about TOTO COELO, but, sadly, we do not. Suffice to say they were a “one-hit wonder girl-group”, and leave it at that. Okay, a “one-hit wonder girl-group” with bad hair and even worse outfits. Okay, okay — they also suffered from extremely unimaginative choreography. But that — really — is all we know. Except, maybe, for the fact that they’re British.

HEH… funny, but while “describing” this group, it suddenly occurred to us the following video is not only one of our Best “Musical Opposites” Ever, it’s a damn fine-yet-cheesy complement to the Sex, Ed? post we did last Friday. Oh, and speaking of last Friday, we are eternally grateful to the handful of good friends who cared enough to subject themselves to our distinct lack of blogging and/or fashion sense. But, as so often happens when we start feeling bitter about a few of our less-than-devoted so-called “friends” who DIDN’T bother to read a post described variously as “hilarious”, “brilliant” and/or “confusing”, we digress*. Where were we, again? Oh yeah… “tie-in”. Truth be told, sometimes we’re so good at this “tying in” crap we even surprise ourselves — exceeding our own wildest expectations for clever and/or cohesive content. Or is that just our delirious thinking again, spinning wildly out of control? Watch the video, and decide if we’re as good as we think, or suffering from an exceedingly bad case of “the delusionals”:

WOULD any of you think less of us if we told you we once had an outfit like that yellow one? Or that, despite making fun of this choreography, we have many of the same moves — and use them often in the privacy of our own kitchen? And finally, that, back in the late 70’s, our hair was not unlike the redhead’s? That’s right, we said the redhead’s. Hey, we were young(ish), perms were all the rage and oh-so-cheap, and, for us, “wild experimentation” meant “new hair color”. To say we looked “hot” would not just be a lie from the pits of hell, it would be a confirmation of our contention that, to quote ourselves: if we didn’t have any fashion sense, we’d have no sense at all.

THAT said, at least we managed to get ourselves over another “Monday Hump” and can now look forward to more winning and/or stat raising posts tomorrow and Wednesday, brought to us by our dear and delightful Snarky cohorts, CRUMMYJOEL and TEH PENGUIN. Yay.

*Later this week, we’ll angrily confront ourselves and point out how whiny and/or self-loathing we’ve sounded over the past few days, and then we’ll be sorry.

~snuppy

Thank jeebus the neon-clad natives are friendly at Humor-blogs.com.