Lately I’ve been blogging a lot about blogging, which may be an indication that I’m spending too much time blogging. In fact, I used the word “blogging” three times in that first sentence, which until recent years was a sure sign of mental illness. I’ve been known to make fun of people who blog about their pets or what they had for lunch (Sadly, I have yet to read about somebody eating their pet for lunch), but here I am blogging about blogging. At least the pet-bloggers and lunch-bloggers get out of the house to go to Appleby’s or pick up dogshit once in a while.
It occurred to me that somebody should put together a list of warning signs that one is spending too much time blogging. And then it occurred to me that only somebody who is spending too much time blogging would think of something like that, so that pretty much makes me an expert in this area.
Signs You Are Spending Too Much Time Blogging
1. You think to yourself, “Am I spending too much time blogging?” And then you blog about it.
2. Your wife’s lawyer serves you with divorce papers by leaving a comment on your blog.
3. Your mom finds out about your son breaking his arm by reading your blog. (Sorry, mom).
4. You find yourself thinking, “I can’t wait to blog about this,” and you’re flossing.
5. You sometimes have nightmares about posting in front of a large group of people in a standard Blogger template.
6. You start a caption contest so you don’t have to spend as much time writing, and then you get mad when one of your 20 captions doesn’t win.
7. You’ve stopped using the terms “blogger friends” and “real-life friends” because you no longer have any of the latter.
8. While skimming a particularly long post you find yourself thinking, “Man, will this guy ever shut up about his family?” and then you remember you’re reading Deuteronomy.
9. You can only keep track of which day it is by which blog you’re guest-posting at.
10. You’re putting off going to bed with your pretty blond wife so that you can think of number ten on this list.
Fortunately, only nine of these have happened to me, although I’m getting dangerously close to ten. We’ll see how things go tonight. Ooh, that gives me a great idea for a post tomorrow!
10.5 ~ despite your desire to cut back on blogging, you still link every post to Humor-blogs.com, because, dammit, it would just be wrong not to.
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Central Snark 
11. you’ve been sick for the past 3 days with one of the worst colds you’ve ever had, yet drag yourself out of bed to find out whether A) your dear and delightful friend remembered to do a post you could publish for today or B) you were going to have to cough up something of your own.
12. in your medicated wooziness, you laugh at the idea of “coughing up a post of your own”, and wonder if there’ll be a way to work that into a post and/or comment.
13. before you pass out on the couch, you smack yourself in the head and say “d’oh!” — which sounds like “n’oh!” because you’re so stinkin’ stuffed up — for fear you might have failed to properly thank aforementioned dear, delightful, and diligent friend for doing such a fine and funny post that made you laugh so hard stuff came out of your nose. but wait, that wasn’t “stuff”, that was snot, and so you said “ewwww” and made a mental note to get out the Windex and a paper towel as soon as you came to.
thank you Diesel!! there are NO words to convey the joy and/or amusement i’m filled with after finding this post in the queueueue and reading it — tho’ i’m thinking this icky mess all over the monitor should be a fair indication of the fact i was laughing pretty freaking hard! 🙂 xox
Comment by One Hot Puppy Tuesday, 29 May 2007 @ 8:51amEh…#3 isn’t so bad. Now, if your Mom found out you were having another child by reading your blog, then there might be a problem…
Comment by Robin Tuesday, 29 May 2007 @ 10:41amYou didn’t like my post about the big salad? I thought it was funny as far as “lunch bloggers” go.
Excellent list and come to think of it – where has my husband been? I’d better check the spam filter…
Comment by LAMPSHA Tuesday, 29 May 2007 @ 11:27amAre we supposed to guess which 9 are true for you? I sincerely hope for Mrs. Diesel’s sake that number 10 is the false one on that list -We wouldn’t want her coming down with a serious case of blog envy, now would we?
Comment by Theresa Tuesday, 29 May 2007 @ 12:27pmSnuppy – Glad to help out in your time of need. Hope you feel better by Thursday. 😉
Theresa – So you’d rather that she divorce me?
Comment by Diesel Tuesday, 29 May 2007 @ 1:57pmHA! Does number 10 sound familiar Snuppy? Only with the roles reversed, that is.
Comment by BoBo Tuesday, 29 May 2007 @ 2:25pm11. You consider blogging about Diesel’s blog about how he blogs about blogging – and this makes sense to you.
Comment by Jeff Tuesday, 29 May 2007 @ 3:56pmThis is alarming – I can relate to far too many of your points.
Comment by beth Tuesday, 29 May 2007 @ 4:29pmI may have to blog about this.
Diesel: me too! otherwise, i may have to see if i can’t figure out a way to expand on this theme. by the way, i passed out before i could complete the thought of my #13: …as soon as you came to. otherwise your screen might be too messy to say “thank you”, which will, in fact, be a part of the follow-up post you plan to do, if and when you do one.
…or something like that. i’m working on it. Number 13, that is, not the post for Thursday. xox
Comment by snuppy Tuesday, 29 May 2007 @ 4:35pmOMG, Diesel I never knew you didn’t like all my pet pics *sniff, sniff* *boo, hoo*
Comment by claire Tuesday, 29 May 2007 @ 5:31pmyour kids ask how many hits you had on your blog — not that mine would…
Comment by rjlight Tuesday, 29 May 2007 @ 8:09pmTHat was funny. My mom always knows where in teh countryside I am by reading my blog, with such information she knows which phone number to call and let me know that I am needed at home. Blogging unites!
Comment by Penguin Wednesday, 30 May 2007 @ 6:01am#8 too funny!
My number #11 is that your link list keeps growing because there are people who you must just read. Your daily reading takes hours-yikes, what am I doing at work!?!?!?!?
Comment by wreckless Wednesday, 30 May 2007 @ 8:23amSomewhere I saw a t-shirt that said “I’m blogging this.”
Comment by Glacial Spain Wednesday, 30 May 2007 @ 10:11am#8 is hilarious.
Comment by Doug Wednesday, 30 May 2007 @ 11:32amHeaven forbid. But if you ever do get to #10, then be careful or Mrs. Diesel may leave you for your blog.
Comment by Theresa Wednesday, 30 May 2007 @ 12:04pmHey!
What do you mean reading Deuteronomy? I thought a deuteronomy was when you had your deuter removed.
Comment by McCafferty Himself Thursday, 31 May 2007 @ 3:24amDeuteronomy?
Comment by logo™ Thursday, 31 May 2007 @ 1:17pmNo, the dude NEVER shuts up about his family.
I clearly need to blog about my dog more
:p
Really–? You seriously got #3?
Whoa.
I feel like the alcoholic who is thinking “now THAT dude is messed up.” Maybe I CAN take off my sabbatical…hmm….
Just kidding, Diesel. Great list.
Comment by IC Thursday, 31 May 2007 @ 9:34pmVery good. Thanks very much.
Comment by mcewen Friday, 1 June 2007 @ 8:21pmCheers
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Pingback by I’m quite bloggy today, huh? « I wanna love You better whatever it takes Sunday, 10 June 2007 @ 11:36pmtooooooo funny. here’s mine:
When going to your parked car and realizing that it’s not there, and that it is going to cost you $185 that you don’t have to get it out of the impound, you remain strangely calm and just keep repeating, “This is going to make a great blog entry!”
Comment by laterain Sunday, 10 June 2007 @ 11:38pmps I refer to it as “metablognition”–“blogging about blogging”–I wanted to enter that word into a “words that don’t exist but need to” contest, but I missed the deadline 😦
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